Had a meeting yesterday where the local misogynists blamed
the chamber of commerce's problems on the fact that there are "too many
women" on the executive committee. And, AND my 24 year old FEMALE
coworker AGREED. She grew up here and regularly says stuff like "well, that's just how men are" or "you know, we're women, so we're not into that type of stuff."
WTF to ME. I had been doing sooo well on eating better, and had dropped over 3 lbs. Well I don't know wtf happened but starting on Sunday it's like I flipped a switch and I cannot. Stop. Eating. Like I'm starving, and full meals don't satisfy me. Like come on body, can't you at least do ONE thing right?!?!
@LuND I'm sorry, WHAT!?! That sounds like something out of Parks and Rec! I just can't even process that.
(also my Rant in WTO) but this morning I was told by a very charming delivery man that I a) look horrible b) look like I'm mad and that I need to smile.
Me: 32 H: 32 Married: October 2009 TTC#1: August 2016
@JulesDP it's like the twilight zone here. Sexism and gender stereotypes are EVERYWHERE. I've honestly had reservations about raising kids here, so hopefully we'll be able to relocate in a few years. Also, fuck you delivery guy.
@hartmich guuuurl, I feel ya. Ever since I let myself relax my diet for Super Bowl I've been struggling to rein it in. I mean, I had to eat all of the unhealthy leftover food otherwise it would be wasteful! Oh, and a package of peanut butter Oreos.
Gah @lund@julesdp it's like sexist asshole day. A guy on the train today asked me if I ever went on dates with other commuters. I gave him a 7:30 am no caffeine death stare and he replied, "You should feel complimented you bitch."
@lund wtf?! Mind blown. I can't even. @JulesDP I am just going to say it again, wtf to what he said to you?! I can't even begin to tell you how many times that happens to me. Oh and the random "You're so much prettier when you smile".
@JulesDP What the heck? Why do men always say that crap - you look mad, smile more? Screw that guy. I get that at the gym all the time, when I am lifting weights and listening to rock music. No, I am not here to smile at you - go away.
@adirat Girl, I would have probably said a few choice words to him. Sorry you deal with jerk commuters.
@jess0211 Sorry about FB - that is one of the reasons I do not go on there that much.
This is all just one big *TW* seriously what in the F is up with the pregnancies. 5 in my office right now. F*cking FIVE. Guess who's not one of them...this gal. I also know three of them well enough to know they did nothing to really try. I'm doing it all right and nothing. Wtf science. Seriously, why are you not working for me!!? And it's all announced to my face so I have to be all "yaaaayyyyy congrats" but really I'm like FML
I overheard a conversation the other day where a guy was all PO'd and said that he didn't believe the gender gap (especially in the workplace) was a thing and women just use it as a way of getting attention. I about threw my food at him.
@MTgirlCOworld major props to you for not throwing your food. I hate it when men say that. They have no clue. I see it all the time. It's even more obvious to me bc DH and I work for the same organization and the gap is very very obvious
@FLAshley can you elaborate on the baking soda finger? I googled but I'm terrified of what came up lol
Angel Babies 1&2 2/14/09 DS born 3/11 Angel Baby 3 6/28/11 9/5/17 BFP!! divorced October 2014 9/6/17 hCG 88 progesterone 9.1 (prometrium started) Married DH 10/15 DH's DS born 6/09 9/8/17 hCG 242!!! Not preventing since 11/15 EDD 5/8/18 Adjusted 5/15/18 TTC since 1/1/16 9/27/17 we have a heart beat!
@LuND, @JulesDP, @adirat Ugggghhhh I am so sorry you had to deal with that! It's so frustrating, especially when others deny that it's a big deal. @adirat Are you in NYC, too? I feel like every time I get on the subway, I'm girding myself for being harassed in some way. It hasn't happened a lot, but the times it did were memorable and sometimes scary. I've had to ask DH if men are really that horny so early in the morning. I barely make it out of bed and got my makeup on. I don't understand. And I love their response to being turned down--because insulting you is really going to change your answer.
@adirat I'm sorry that you had to deal with that douche canoe! You should feel complimented?! I have your compliments right here, pal:
@jess0211 UGH. I feel you on the announcements - they're all over FB. I rarely go on anymore because my heart can't handle it right now. @kiwi2628 Fellow competitive a-hole right here. In some circumstances I like that I'm competitive. But it's really making this TTC business even more soul crushing. Actual thoughts I've had: "She got pregnant, why can't I!?" "I better get pregnant before her" What normal human says those things?!
Me: 32 H: 32 Married: October 2009 TTC#1: August 2016
@JulesDP Ummmmmm I absolutely say those things. So we can both just say we're normal. It definitely makes this so much harder. One of my best friends is trying (but doesn't know we are bc last time she hounded me monthly asking if I was pregnant) and I will probably go off the deep end if she's pregnant before me. I'm on month 8 and she' on 3
@50Wife You get me I totally understand how you feel. When we started trying, none of our friends were (at least to our knowledge). Now that 7 months have passed, I know of at least two other couples who are trying. I irrationally think that I'm 'owed' a bfp before them because I've been trying longer (Eye roll @ myself so hard). I'm mentally preparing for one of them to announce any day.
Me: 32 H: 32 Married: October 2009 TTC#1: August 2016
@bababatty I take the LIRR but yeah I've been harrassed on the subway too. It's horrible. Plus side about NYC though -- if you scream at the person back *most* other commuters will take your side because they hate it too. I once was in Herald Square and a guy grabbed me by the shoulders, and I shouted "get your hands off me!" really loudly and a bunch of people yelled at him too until he went away.
@JulesDP and @50Wife I feel you. I have 2 friends starting to try in April and I have such anxiety about not being pregnant because I know they will both be 1/1 and it will kill me if, at that point, I will be on cycle 10 with nothing. Its mostly the fear that brings the anxiety. Its so irrational.
@JulesDP I totally get it. DH has a friend who, right around the time we started trying, said he and his wife were going to wait a while before they wanted to think about trying. Well, fast forward 9 months they have changed their minds and decided to try. Now they are trying to coordinate a day for all of us to come over their house in the beginning of March, and I already told DH that if this is so they can announce I may have a minor breakdown.
Wtf town and local nuclear power plant. They're testing alarms today but didn't send out the normal warning email so when it started going off I almost crapped my pants and ran. Thankfully a quick google search calmed my nerves.
@kiwi2628@julesdp@50wife@pinky917 make room for me on the crazy train. We have friends who mentioned starting to try around the same time as us. Every time we are together, I brace myself for the announcement and watch her like a hawk to see if she drinks. I remember once she passed on wine at first and I almost had a heart attack. Then she changed her mind and had a couple glasses. I felt like such a psycho.
DH and I went to a party last weekend where we only knew the guests of honor. An hour into the party, DH's psycho ex walks in. WTF?! We confronted our friends who kinda shrugged it off and gave a halfhearted apology of "I thought you knew she'd be here." Really? Girl is a loon (long story in the spoiler box below). Luckily she avoided us (probably out of embarrassment) and even left as soon as humanly possible. But it was still a wtf moment.
So DH was with his ex (let's call her A) on and off for almost 6 years. Essentially, she would get bored and leave him for a few months, then come back when she felt like it. It was a bad relationship. Eventually, DH called the whole thing off. Over a year later, he met me. She freaked. She would show up to his apartment in the middle of the night sobbing. She would try to kiss him and convince him that he could date both of us. She would blow up his phone every day yelling at him and begging him to take her back. It was crazy.
Eventually she died down. She stopped her physical stalking and didn't message DH hardly ever. It helped that we got an apartment far away from her. But when we bought the house back in his home town, DH told A's brother who he was once close with. Suddenly A is texting DH about how he's not allowed to talk to her brother blah blah blah. So DH unfriended them all on Facebook. Not 10 minutes later A is texting about it (uh, cyberstalk much?) begging him to be her friend and how she just wants to stay close to him. DH said no.
We hadn't heard anything from her since. Not when we got engaged or married. This is the first time either of us saw her in person in years. But it was hella awkward all the same.
Part 2 **TW** So this party was a baby shower was for one of DH's friends. This is their second and their kids are going to be 12 months apart. I can't even. **End TW** But the entire party, they just kept asking when will we have kids. We're working on it! I'm not psychic!! Don't make me jinx myself!!! Cue mumblings of "we'll see" "eventually" and "hopefully soon." Ugh. Awkward.
Don't you just love it when guys ask you out then get insulting when you
say no? You just asked me out...why would you ask me out if you think
I'm a bitch? Oh right, because you're butthurt and full of shit.
WTF
to myself when that happens, because I get so shaken up that it ruins
my whole day. Once I was driving to work, it's all of 7am, and a guy in
the car next to mine at the stoplight motions to roll down my window. I
thought he might need directions. Oh, no. Instead:
Him: "How's your day going?" Me: "Fine. Do you need help?" Him: "No. Have you ever dated a black guy before?"
I rolled up my window and burned rubber out of there, and called H in hysterics. Another time when I was pumping gas some guy yelled at me from the cab of his dump truck, and asked if my husband made breakfast for me that morning. I should have said "No, he was busy polishing his shot gun" but instead I jumped in my car and locked the doors. I need to learn to brace myself for the onslaught so I don't get caught off guard.
Me: late 30s | H: early 30s TTC #1 since April 2015 RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016 IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal Polyp removed May 2017 FET May 2017 - BFP! Baby boy born 2/2/18
@eggplantface omg I love confronting those people! Outside a CVS a guy says to me as I walk by, 'Dayuuuuuum, I like that ass. Wanna go out?'. So I stop, turn around, walk back to him and say with a straight face. 'Thank you. I appreciate my body as well, but do you honestly think a line like that to a complete stranger as she is buying tampons will get you a date?' They are so used to non-responses or simple 'go away's, that an actual response makes the splutter and stutter. Especially if you throw in awkward bits like 'buying tampons' or 'on the way to visit my grandma' or something equally as uncomfortable to a strange boy. Try it next time. You will feel empowered as anything. And my hope is that it makes some guys stop and re-think their actions.
@adirat Yeah, I think if other commuters realize what's going on, they generally try to help. I'm glad they all helped you that one time! Like @eggplantface, I mostly just get shaken up and cry. I always wish I had a better reaction or snappy comeback, haha.
@hartmich I actually feel soooo much better knowing that I am not the only one who sits and waits to see if someone drinks! It is always such a relief once I see them with a glass, and then I feel like a crazy woman.
@adirat ohhh the LIRR. I was 8 months pregnant with DD and taking the LIRR one morning and of course it was super crowded and NO ONE WOULD GIVE ME A SEAT. Finally I just said screw it I'll stand and this super nice girl around my age said "oh no, you are getting a seat" and made some guy get up for me so I could sit down.
TTC History
Me: 35 DH: 34 Married 07/2012 DD born 07/2014 DD2 born 10/2018 DS born 10/2022
IF history: TTC #2 since January 2016 June-Aug 2017: 3 IUIs w/Clomid = BFN Sept 2017: Dx w/Endometriosis Oct 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN Nov 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN Dec 2017: pre-IVF testing Jan-Feb 2018: IVF--17 eggs retrieved, 13 fertilized, 9 frozen and 1 transferred on 2/10 = BFP on 2/19!!! EDD 10/29/2018 FET Oct 2021: BFP on 10/31! MC at 5 weeks FET Feb 2022: BFP on 2/15! EDD 10/29/22
@shortstack930 What you are describing is the LIRR equivalent of manspreading. I see middle aged men in suits do this all. The. Time. They won't get up for pregnant women, for elderly people, for people with canes and crutches...nothing. And if you call them on it -- it's always a woman who calls them on it as you alluded to -- they act all indignant. Ugh.
I am driving through town (in kind of a sketchy part) and there was a hand made sign at an intersection that read "Chinese Massage. Free Shower" with a phone number. All I could think was Eeeeeeeewwwwwwww.
Me 30 DH 36 Married 9/26/15 TTC 2/10/17 - BFP 5/5/17 - EDD 1/11/18
I am driving through town (in kind of a sketchy part) and there was a hand made sign at an intersection that read "Chinese Massage. Free Shower" with a phone number. All I could think was Eeeeeeeewwwwwwww.
I once was about to send in my application for an administrative assistant position but I always google the companies first. Good thing I did - this was a rub and tug kind of place. They were a "Massage Parlour" that offered various ethnicities of lovely ladies for you to enjoy. Cringe.
Lotsa misogyny and rudeness up in here! Sorry you all are going through that! I can't even complain about anything after reading about "too many women" on a committee and getting hit on and crazy exes. Whew.
@adirat@kiwi2628 you ladies are my heroes. Next time something like that happens I am so going to yell/say something unexpected. Usually I just duck away. I once got a comment when I was wearing hideous snow boots, thigh length puffy coat, hat, scarf, gloves, the works. Like you don't even know what I look like, I might not even be a woman, what are you even doing.
TTGP March Siggy Challenge: Animals Celebrating St. Patrick's Day
Re: WTF Wednesday
Had a meeting yesterday where the local misogynists blamed the chamber of commerce's problems on the fact that there are "too many women" on the executive committee. And, AND my 24 year old FEMALE coworker AGREED. She grew up here and regularly says stuff like "well, that's just how men are" or "you know, we're women, so we're not into that type of stuff."
(also my Rant in WTO) but this morning I was told by a very charming delivery man that I a) look horrible b) look like I'm mad and that I need to smile.
Married: October 2009
TTC#1: August 2016
DD Born 10/20/17
@hartmich Your preaching to the choir. I took storm chips to a whole new level. I want to eat everyfuckingthing.
Me 27 DF 44
TTC post VR Sept 21/16
SA 6 weeks post op 50.7 mil count 40% motility
@hartmich guuuurl, I feel ya. Ever since I let myself relax my diet for Super Bowl I've been struggling to rein it in. I mean, I had to eat all of the unhealthy leftover food otherwise it would be wasteful! Oh, and a package of peanut butter Oreos.
@JulesDP I am just going to say it again, wtf to what he said to you?! I can't even begin to tell you how many times that happens to me. Oh and the random "You're so much prettier when you smile".
@adirat Girl, I would have probably said a few choice words to him. Sorry you deal with jerk commuters.
@jess0211 Sorry about FB - that is one of the reasons I do not go on there that much.
Me: 34 | DH: 32
Married: May 2015
DS: 12/17
BFP#2: 12/26, EDD#2: 9/5
My WTF is to myself. I am such a competitive human and I need to stop. Its unhealthy to my mental state.
seriously what in the F is up with the pregnancies. 5 in my office right now. F*cking FIVE. Guess who's not one of them...this gal. I also know three of them well enough to know they did nothing to really try. I'm doing it all right and nothing. Wtf science. Seriously, why are you not working for me!!? And it's all announced to my face so I have to be all "yaaaayyyyy congrats" but really I'm like FML
@jess0211 yeah I can't do Facebook anymore.
Married 9/26/15
TTC 2/10/17 - BFP 5/5/17 - EDD 1/11/18
DS born 3/11
Angel Baby 3 6/28/11 9/5/17 BFP!!
divorced October 2014 9/6/17 hCG 88 progesterone 9.1 (prometrium started)
Married DH 10/15 DH's DS born 6/09 9/8/17 hCG 242!!!
Not preventing since 11/15 EDD 5/8/18 Adjusted 5/15/18
TTC since 1/1/16 9/27/17 we have a heart beat!
Me: 34 | DH: 32
Married: May 2015
DS: 12/17
BFP#2: 12/26, EDD#2: 9/5
@jess0211 UGH. I feel you on the announcements - they're all over FB. I rarely go on anymore because my heart can't handle it right now.
@kiwi2628 Fellow competitive a-hole right here. In some circumstances I like that I'm competitive. But it's really making this TTC business even more soul crushing. Actual thoughts I've had: "She got pregnant, why can't I!?" "I better get pregnant before her" What normal human says those things?!
Married: October 2009
TTC#1: August 2016
DD Born 10/20/17
makes this so much harder. One of my best friends is trying (but doesn't know we are bc last time she hounded me monthly asking if I was pregnant) and I will probably go off the deep end if she's pregnant before me. I'm on month 8 and she' on 3
Married: October 2009
TTC#1: August 2016
DD Born 10/20/17
Married 9/2015
TTC #1 6/2016
Dx Unexplained IF 6/2017
Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI 7/2017 - Cancelled (overstimulated)
Letrozole + Ovidrel + IUI #1 - BFN
Letrozole + Ovidrel + IUI #2 -BFN
Letrozole + Ovidrel + IUI#3 - BFP! EDD July 15 2018
Baby Girl H - July 22 2018
DS1: 9.6.12**DS2: 12.22.14
CP1: 6/17 @4w4d
CP2: 9/17 @4w3d
CP3: 2/18 @5w
Rainbow Baby On Board
<a href="https://babysizer.com/geeky"><img src="https://babysizer.com/geeky-2019-03-08.jpg" alt="Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker"></a>
Eventually she died down. She stopped her physical stalking and didn't message DH hardly ever. It helped that we got an apartment far away from her. But when we bought the house back in his home town, DH told A's brother who he was once close with. Suddenly A is texting DH about how he's not allowed to talk to her brother blah blah blah. So DH unfriended them all on Facebook. Not 10 minutes later A is texting about it (uh, cyberstalk much?) begging him to be her friend and how she just wants to stay close to him. DH said no.
We hadn't heard anything from her since. Not when we got engaged or married. This is the first time either of us saw her in person in years. But it was hella awkward all the same.
Part 2 **TW** So this party was a baby shower was for one of DH's friends. This is their second and their kids are going to be 12 months apart. I can't even. **End TW** But the entire party, they just kept asking when will we have kids. We're working on it! I'm not psychic!! Don't make me jinx myself!!! Cue mumblings of "we'll see" "eventually" and "hopefully soon." Ugh. Awkward.
WTF to myself when that happens, because I get so shaken up that it ruins my whole day. Once I was driving to work, it's all of 7am, and a guy in the car next to mine at the stoplight motions to roll down my window. I thought he might need directions. Oh, no. Instead:
Him: "How's your day going?"
Me: "Fine. Do you need help?"
Him: "No. Have you ever dated a black guy before?"
I rolled up my window and burned rubber out of there, and called H in hysterics. Another time when I was pumping gas some guy yelled at me from the cab of his dump truck, and asked if my husband made breakfast for me that morning. I should have said "No, he was busy polishing his shot gun" but instead I jumped in my car and locked the doors. I need to learn to brace myself for the onslaught so I don't get caught off guard.
TTC #1 since April 2015
RE Dx: Fibroids, surgery Jan 2016
IUI #1 and #2, Nov/Dec 2016, BFN
IVF March 2017: ER - 5R/3M/3F, 1 PGS normal
Polyp removed May 2017
FET May 2017 - BFP!
Baby boy born 2/2/18
Married 9/2015
TTC #1 6/2016
Dx Unexplained IF 6/2017
Clomid + Ovidrel + IUI 7/2017 - Cancelled (overstimulated)
Letrozole + Ovidrel + IUI #1 - BFN
Letrozole + Ovidrel + IUI #2 -BFN
Letrozole + Ovidrel + IUI#3 - BFP! EDD July 15 2018
Baby Girl H - July 22 2018
Married 07/2012
DD born 07/2014
DD2 born 10/2018
DS born 10/2022
IF history:
TTC #2 since January 2016
June-Aug 2017: 3 IUIs w/Clomid = BFN
Sept 2017: Dx w/Endometriosis
Oct 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN
Nov 2017: IUI w/Letrozole = BFN
Dec 2017: pre-IVF testing
Jan-Feb 2018: IVF--17 eggs retrieved, 13 fertilized, 9 frozen and 1 transferred on 2/10 = BFP on 2/19!!! EDD 10/29/2018
FET Oct 2021: BFP on 10/31! MC at 5 weeks
FET Feb 2022: BFP on 2/15! EDD 10/29/22
DSS born 01/2016
TTC since 01/2017
Letrozole + TI = BFP 01/30/2018 | EDD 10/11/2018
Married 9/26/15
TTC 2/10/17 - BFP 5/5/17 - EDD 1/11/18
Married: 6/2016
TTC #1: 12/2016
Benched due to deployment- Off the bench 8/8/17!
Married: 04/05/15
TTC since: 02/16/16
Stalk my chart