IF/Testing Check-in Week Feb13th

wabash15 · February 2017

This is a place for those of us who have already started TTC, but have started infertility testing and/or treatments. You can express your thoughts, feelings, and frustrations on infertility. TTC can be a long journey naturally, then add in the difficulties associated with infertility and it becomes a whole new ball game. The road to infertility can be lonely, frustrating, and complicated, so let's make this a place where we can vent, ask questions, and support one another. Feel free to resurrect this thread at any point in the week if you have something to say, and treat this like an ongoing conversation.

Diagnosis (If you've been):

Cycle/CD:

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA):

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?)

How are things going?

Any questions?

GTKY: Do you have any plans for valentines day?

TravelingCouple · February 2017

Finally jumping in at the beginning of the week and not the end!

Diagnosis (If you've been): Unexplained secondary IF, slightly low progesterone

Cycle/CD: 16/9

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) I think this'll be our last month of just doing progesterone. Meeting with the RE on Wed to discuss the plan for Clomid. Left a message with the RE to call me back so I can ask about Femara before Wed.

How are things going? Eh, depends on the day you ask me. Over the weekend, not great. Pretty much had a mental breakdown on Saturday because I went grocery shopping and saw 3 pregnant women all with toddlers around DS' age. I came home and just blew up at DH for something so stupid. Eventually he figured out the real reason and we had a long discussion about it..I told him how sick and tired I am of being this ticking time bomb who can get so upset over something so stupid. Yet other days I can be completely fine. I'm tired of being the wife, friend, sister who has this black cloud of IF over me. I'm usually the person that everyone in my life comes to for support and advice, I hate being the sad one. DH suggested making an appt with a therapist and I think I agree. I've gone before years ago for something completely unrelated and it helped immensely. I've been trying to find an outlet for the harder days, but nothing seems to be working. Maybe therapy will. I'm just so tired; tired of fighting with DH about this, tired of being sad, tired of tracking every little GD thing in my life. We've discussed taking a break for a while, but DH thinks that would just stress me out more. Maybe it would. I think I'll start with seeing a local therapist and go from there.

Any questions?

GTKY: Do you have any plans for valentines day?
Nah, we've never been big on Valentine's Day.

heatherdubrow · February 2017

Diagnosis (If you've been): NIR PCOS

Cycle/CD: 15/ cd13

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): still waiting...

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) FET

How are things going? Getting sick of the side effects...but my lining check is Friday and if everything looks good my embryo transfer will be the following week!

Any questions?

GTKY: Do you have any plans for valentines day?

Yes! H and I are going to Ruth's Chris for a fancy dinner out!

wabash15 · February 2017

@TravelingCouple hugs girl. I hope talking to someone will help

@heatherdubrow Its so exciting that your lining check is finally this week! I am so excited for you to finally be in the TWW!

JuneRoseRuby · February 2017

Diagnosis (If you've been): MFI

Cycle/CD: 14/7

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Heading back to the urologist Wednesday to find out the results of H's blood tests and urine analysis. Hopefully coming up with a treatment plan after that.

How are things going? Fine. I felt sad for H this week though. A friend's father passed away so we were talking about death and life for family after death. He said "well you'd make out pretty well if I died (meaning financially because of life insurance policies) and then you could marry a husband that could actually knock you up". I felt so sorry for him. Just when I think it isn't affecting him, it is. He doesn't really make it seem like it is most of the time but then drops a bomb like that. We bot think that this appointment will give us answers and direction.

Also, I finally got ubiquinol at Costco, on sale, 90 pills for $27!! Cheapest I've seen.

Any questions? nothing yet

GTKY: Do you have any plans for valentines day? Nothing this V-day, but usually we go out to dinner. We never go out to dinner, like ever, so it is usually special to me, but this year we just have too much life going on. I did get him that book I mentioned last week "How to make love to a plastic cup" and I'm giving that to him as a joke. I'm sure he won't read it, and I will. But that's okay. It can give me some perspective too.

@heatherdubrow fingers crossed for Friday for you!
@TravelingCouple I have started an IF journal where I write down how I am feeling about it for the day and it seems to help me. I also started reading a book about how to cope with IF and that is helpful as well. Adirat has it as well and I know she is farther in the book than I am and she had some good helpful hints from the book as well.

TravelingCouple · February 2017

@JuneRoseRuby I'd be interested in reading it, what's the title?

JuneRoseRuby · February 2017

@TravelingCouple https://a.co/hLqet2g Here is the Amazon link

TravelingCouple · February 2017

JuneRoseRuby said:

@TravelingCouple https://a.co/hLqet2g Here is the Amazon link

Thanks, I just ordered a copy!

kaitlink33 · February 2017

Diagnosis (If you've been): pcos

Cycle/CD: 3(after break)/ 23

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): tww

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Femara, ovidrel, progesterone, pineapple, hio, pnv, other vitamins, etc.

How are things going? Ok except for the fact that I think I may be getting sick and I'm sick of not getting any sleep.

Any questions?

GTKY: Do you have any plans for valentines day? We already did our valentines day since I'll be working.

heatherdubrow · February 2017

@wabash15 and @JuneRoseRuby Thank you! I'm super excited and hopeful! Plus it will be nice to finally post in TWW! I feel like I've been in WTO for an eternity

wabash15 · February 2017

@JuneRoseRuby DH's response is heartbreaking. poor guy. I just want to give you both a big hug. I hope you get some good news or at the very least have a solid plan after Wednesdays appointment.

wabash15 · February 2017

Diagnosis (If you've been): unexplained, AMA, factor V

Cycle/CD: 19/6

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?)Letrolole, estrogen, trigger, progesterone IUI

How are things going? OK, this TWW is painful. I have pep talks with what I hope are two little embies every day. Ugg its going to suck if its a BFN. Doing my science experiment and testing out my trigger/also testing OPKs because why not pee on everything!

Any questions? nope. just trying to trust the process since my chart is a hot mess.My yoga intention this morning was once again HOPE, and I'm trying to stick with it

GTKY: Do you have any plans for valentines day? we decided not to go out on the day, but will probably do a family dinner this weekend. DH and I decided to only do very small gifts so. nothing big. Though I may order pizza for dinner tomorrow night as its DH's favorite food.

laurad75 · February 2017

@TravelingCouple I think its a great idea that you seek out a therapist to help you navigate how you cope. Therapy can really help with examining your feelings in a 'safe place' without outside opinions or feelings. I hope you pursue that.

@heatherdubrow I'm so excited for you!

@JuneRoseRuby I'm reading that book too. I go to Dr. Domar's Center for acupuncture.

Diagnosis (If you've been): DOR

Cycle/CD: 11/20

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): Waiting for AF

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) IVF - ER

How are things going? ER was this past Friday which went well. Only three eggs were retrieved but all three fertilized so now we are waiting on a day 5 or 6 report on how they are maturing. We are meeting with the RE on Thursday to discuss next steps and a plan b if necessary.

Any questions?

GTKY: Do you have any plans for valentines day? H is traveling tomorrow and Wednesday so we are going out to dinner on Thursday night.

JuneRoseRuby · February 2017

@laurad75 I'll keep sending those embies positive vibes. Do you ever see Dr. Domar? Do you like her clinic?
@wabash15 Thanks for the hugs. I try to keep my mind clear and hopeful and focused during my workouts lately too. I know I've said it before, but I keep telling myself I am prepping my body to be as strong as possible for what comes next IF wise.

laurad75 · February 2017

@JuneRoseRuby Yes, I have seen her a few times at the clinic but I have not received any treatment from her. The Domar Center is in the same building as my IVF clinic (Boston IVF - she mentions it in her book) which is just around the corner from my office so I can go for acupuncture in the middle of the day.

heatherdubrow · February 2017

@laurad75 I can't wait to hear how they're maturing!!

@wabash15 I'm seriously on pins and needles for you! I hope this is it!!

JuneRoseRuby · February 2017

@laurad75 That's really cool!

zwink1 · February 2017

@TravelingCouple I'm sorry you're having a rough time. I hear you, I did not want to do a damn thing but sulk all weekend. I hope your mood swings up soon!

@heatherdubrow GL with your lining check and hopeful transfer next week. I'll have my fingers crossed for you!!!

@laurad75 shooting you allow of the positivity for those three little embies!!!

@JuneRoseRuby It's so hard when they say stuff like that. My heart breaks a little for my H every time he gets too down on himself.

Diagnosis (If you've been): MFI, borderline hypothyroid

Cycle/CD: 15/7

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?)
Testing.

How are things going?

Eh, I'm a walking ball of stress. I'm feeling overwhelmed with life decisions and I don't know which are right and it's really throwing me off. I'm so used to having a plan in life that not knowing what I want is really disorienting for me. I need to get out of my current job, my ex-boss is starting his own place and wants me to come with him. It's a great opportunity if things work out, but there's a decent amount of risk involved. H is also concerned that it would make work my priority over TTC and he might be right. We both agree that TTC takes priority over work right now, so I don't want that to happen. I briefly alluded to our IF when I met with my boss last week, it's the first time I've said anything to anyone in my career life about it and I only brought it up in response to a point he made (and so that he would understand where most of my hesitation is coming from) he had a pretty neutral reaction, which was actually kind of nice.

Anyway, that confusion with the emotional roller coaster that is IF made for a rough weekend. I started crying in a restaurant while having lunch with H on Fri and I literally NEVER cry in public. It was embarrassing.

I have my HSG tomorrow morning and may have to go in for labs and an ultrasound on Thurs. I guess normally she would do everything together, but my RE is out on my CD10 and she doesn't want to do anything other than the HSG earlier than that. I also have a monthly IF meeting Weds night, and it couldn't come at a better time.

Also, we still haven't gotten H's SA results back from last Weds follow up check, so that's lovely. We know they have them, so it's just annoying me now.

Any questions?
No.

GTKY: Do you have any plans for valentines day?
Not really, we went out Thurs and twice on Fri, so we're sort of wiped out.

wabash15 · February 2017

@zwink1 I'm sorry life is so chaotic and up in the air right now. IF sucks and its hard to plan. GL with your HSG this week and big hugs

TravelingCouple · February 2017

@heatherdubrow I'm so excited for your TWW!

@laurad75 I think I will be, just need to call my insurance to find one that's covered, hopefully.
@zwink1 I'm sorry you're going through so much... Sounds like it was a rough weekend for a lot of us emotionally.

Bababatty · February 2017

Diagnosis (If you've been): MFI

Cycle/CD: 21/2

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): WTO

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) Clomid for DH, CoQ10 (because why not), temping/OPKs, etc.

How are things going? Yesterday felt like my uterus was trying to murder me from the inside. DH decided this was his fault because his "bad sperm" failed in their mission again. So that was fun because I felt bad complaining about my cramps so as not to make HIM feel bad. But he did do all the dishes, so that was helpful. :-) DH has his follow-up SA today to see if the three months of clomid has made any improvement. We see our RE to discuss next steps at the end of the month.

Any questions? Nope

GTKY: Do you have any plans for valentines day? We're not Valentine's people and we're spent out from Christmas and our anniversary.

@TravelingCouple I see an infertility therapy group every two weeks and I love it. Individual therapy didn't fit with my schedule, but if you're interested in group, check out the Resolve website.

@heatherdubrow Good luck with your lining check. Hope it looks good!

@JuneRoseRuby DH does the same thing as your H, often out of nowhere. I'm afraid I don't have any really good advice to give, but the other night I sat down next to him and asked him to have a mental health check-in with me. I thought that worked well because it allowed him to open up and it was about HIS feelings, rather than in reaction to something else. I hope the appointment goes well on Wednesday.

@kaitlink33 I hope you don't get sick!

@wabash15 I love the pep talks with your (hopefully) embies! Positive thinking all the way. Fingers crossed!

@laurad75 I'm so glad all three fertilized. I'm rooting for your embryos!

@zwink1 Creepy internet hugs to you! I hope your roller coaster levels out, but I understand how you feel.

wabash15 · February 2017

@Bababatty sorry your on to another cycle. Fx DH's SA goes better today

JuneRoseRuby · February 2017

@Bababatty That was nice H did the dishes. I think my H had some guilt over AF this month too because I was yelling like a monster that I needed chocolate and he got me a giant Reeses valentine's day heart on his way home from work, which he never does.

@zwink1 I find that IF woes hit me at weird times. I'll be coasting and feeling numb and then wham! It hits me like a ton of bricks.

KristoKekerooni · February 2017

@Bababatty - waiting on pins and needles to hear about how the Clomid has gone!!!

@TravelingCouple - I can tell you are really struggling right now and it made me tear up. I have been in that spot so many times. It's exhausting. It's just so much. It's all the temping, and peeing on sticks, and chart stalking and thinking hard about every twinge and headache and feeling. And then on top of that, it's scheduling sex, and wondering if you are gonna miss it, or doing it when you don't really feel like it, and then on top of allll of that, it's also just an all-consuming thought. It never leaves your mind. It's always, always, always right there. I can't remember a life before TTC. I can't remember what I spent my days thinking of. It's so, so tiring. Seeing a therapist has helped me, and I hope it'll help you. In addition to that, I have date nights where TTC is 100% off the table. We do not talk about TTC or babies or the future, or anything that can even allude to that topic a little. It's kinda hard because now everything makes me think about TTC/babies, but we've figured it out, sorta. I wish I could give you other tips, but frankly, I still really suck at all this. It's still an all-consuming wall and I don't know how to see past it either. Hugs. This place sucks.

Diagnosis (If you've been): MFI-DNAF/RPL/

Cycle/CD: cycle 31/CD26

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW/WFIUI

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?): Just waiting for AF so I can call in and get my Clomid for my upcoming IUI.

How are things going?: Oh you know. It's a constant power play between hoping AF never comes, but also hoping she shows fast so we can get this show on the road.

Any questions? Yeah who was it a few weeks ago that was talking about double/back-to-back IUIs? apparently that's what we are doing.

GTKY: Do you have any plans for valentines day? Probably just go eat.

TravelingCouple · February 2017

Ok calling all the fabulous ladies who helped me last time about Clomid vs Femara @antoto @Bababatty @Everycol0r @wabash15 ..sorry if I'm missing anyone.

Ok ladies, I just spoke to my RE for about 30 mins and I'm royally confused. I mean, she gave me a lot of information but I still don't know what step to move forward with. So, news to me, she said that my chart indicates possible PCOS...this is NEWS to me, and I told her so. I said that was never discussed as a possible diagnosis any other time I came in. She said that usually comes up in the original 1-hour session when we go over history, but I don't remember that being discussed. I feel like I would've remembered that. She said that PCOS is indicated based on my irregular cycles, my follicular count during my ultrasound at CD3 (I had 19 follicles which she said is high), and also my AMH is higher than normal, at 8.9... She confirmed the fact that I did not have any cysts though. This is ALL NEWS TO ME. WTH. When I had my ultra long discussion with this RE after my HSG, we were told all tests came back normal, aside from DH's slighly low morphology. And now I have PCOS? I am pretty frustrated right now. So I asked her if I've been wasting my time with just taking the Progesterone and she said that it sounded like I wanted to start with the least invasive treatment first, which is true. But I obviously would've have picked an option that wouldn't give us much of a shot if we're not addressing the issue.

So then I asked her about Femara vs Clomid, especially if I do have PCOS which I am still reeling about, and she said that one is not preferred over the other for PCOS patients. This practice tends to start with Clomid first since it's been studied longer, and then if the patient doesn't respond well to the first month (i.e. thin lining, not enough mature eggs), then we'd move on to something else. But I'm ultra confused now about whether to move forward with the Clomid or try Femara first..she said I could do either. The thing is...I can't even start all over again with another RE because this is the only one my insurance covers in a 100 mile radius. I have no idea what to even do right now. Sorry for the novel.
---
I've looked for one on that site before @Bababatty and the closest one in my area is an hour away. Maybe I should consider starting my own though.

heatherdubrow · February 2017

@TravelingCouple wow that is intense to find out that way. Sounds like a massive cluster of miscommunication. I have PCOS and I was told that femara and clomid are pretty equally effective. I started with clomid for a few cycles and then tried femara. I found there were less side effects with femara. As long as you're being monitored I think it would be fine to go with either one. Wishing you so much luck!

TravelingCouple · February 2017

Thank you so much @KristoKekerooni. I know there's no magical answer of what to say, but knowing I'm not alone helps immensely.

Yeah it wasn't exactly awesome @heatherdubrow. The RE did apologize over the phone as she said it should've been discussed in my primary appt. Which I did have with a different RE within the same practice. But how do I even know if I actually DO have PCOS? Is it only indicated by cysts, which I don't have..?

I have to say that the research on possible birth defects while on Femara is off-putting. And then the possible thinning of the uterine lining isn't so great with Clomid. I suppose anytime you introduce IF treatment it's not going to be a walk in the park. Sometimes I want to shake a fist at God (who I do so wholeheartedly believe in) and say "WHAT THE HECK MAN?!" I'm just feeling a bit bitter recently, sorry for always being so negative

[Deleted User] · February 2017

@TravelingCouple Oi. First, I am so sorry that you're frustrated and that your RE seems... well... not the best. I am deeply shocked that your RE thinks women with PCOS should do Clomid as a first option over Femara. My RE said that he never gives PCOS patients Clomid. If you stay with this RE I would demand Femara, pass on the Clomid.

Do you know if you had 19 follicles in one ovary or between the two? Did she say specifically what parts of your bloodwork indicated PCOS? What was your Testosterone? Did you do insulin resistance testing?

TBH... I would go get a second opinion somewhere else. You totally might have PCOS... but will you really ever be able to trust this practice ever again?

[Deleted User] · February 2017

@TravelingCouple cysts are actually the same as follicles - they are just what we call immature follicles. Same thing.

hartmich · February 2017

@travelingcouple first I'm sorry that you're going through this - sounds like a major ball was dropped with communicating your results. It can be a lot to digest so give yourself some time to process the information before making any decisions. So FWIW, my doctor has mentioned femara being more successful with PCOS. I don't know all the details around that but hopefully someone else will chime in.

TravelingCouple · February 2017

@antoto Thanks for the input. She didn't say whether it was between both ovaries or two. The specific blood work she was mentioning was my AMH level, which was 8.9. She said that, with the higher number of follicles and irregular cycles are what indicate PCOS. I don't even know if they tested my testosterone? Ack I hate feeling so ill-informed.

The thought of driving over 2 hours away and going through all the testing again at a new practice makes me want to cry.

[Deleted User] · February 2017

TravelingCouple said:

@antoto Thanks for the input. She didn't say whether it was between both ovaries or two. The specific blood work she was mentioning was my AMH level, which was 8.9. She said that, with the higher number of follicles and irregular cycles are what indicate PCOS. I don't even know if they tested my testosterone? Ack I hate feeling so ill-informed.

The thought of driving over 2 hours away and going through all the testing again at a new practice makes me want to cry.

I would call your RE and ask if they tested your testosterone. If they say no then I would be super suspicious of them giving you treatment offerings before a truly official diagnosis. I mean... if they didn't do testosterone and they didn't do Insulin then there's just no way they can confirm for sure. I mean 19 cysts are a lot - even between both ovaries. Like I said - it's absolutely possible that you have it. I just am getting bad vibes about how their practice opperates.

If they didn't give you the 3 hour insulin test then they wouldn't know if you're IR or NIR PCOS - and the treatment is different depending on which of those you have.

TravelingCouple · February 2017

@antoto OK I'll call back tomorrow and ask about the testosterone. They did check my insulin because I had fasting blood work done and I remember the nurse saying they were testing insulin. I need a full copy of all my reports...

wabash15 · February 2017

@TravelingCouple I'm so sorry that you found out that way. Definitely a huge gap in communication. YOu may not have to repeate all the testing at a different RE, but may have to do some of it over again. I would give it a day or two, talk with DH and see how you feel. Do you feel you can move forward and not second guess this RE or is the trust broken. as for the femera I believe that the risk of birth defects is if you take it when pregnant not when taking it to increase the number of follicles developed. hugs girl

[Deleted User] · February 2017

TravelingCouple said:

@antoto OK I'll call back tomorrow and ask about the testosterone. They did check my insulin because I had fasting blood work done and I remember the nurse saying they were testing insulin. I need a full copy of all my reports...

Make sure it was 3 hour. If it's not 3 hour than it's not reliable for diagnosing NIR or IR

ETA you would know if it was the 3 hour one actually. You have to stay there for 3 hours and get poked multiple times.

TravelingCouple · February 2017

Thanks @hartmich, seems like most REs recommend Femara over Clomid for PCOS. Just not mine. Or, at least, mine doesn't have a preference.

@antoto No it wasn't that then. The only time I've done that was while pregnant with DS to check for GD. So, is PCOS something you have all of your life? Or something I could have developed after having DS?

Bababatty · February 2017

@TravelingCouple Oh wow, that is a major bombshell to drop! It is ridiculous that it wasn't brought up when you went over your test results. I'm so sorry. I don't know anything about PCOS, unfortunately, but I think the others with more experience have good advice. Perhaps do this IUI with femara, if you're worried about missing the cycle, while getting an appointment with another RE for a second opinion? Make sure you get copies of your whole file and maybe they won't make you re-do the tests, especially if you're just seeing them to confirm PCOS and not start your treatment over at a new practice.

As as for the fertility group, it's too bad there isn't one closer. Starting your own isn't a bad idea, but in that case I also fully support your plan to see a therapist one-on-one. Good luck!!

heatherdubrow · February 2017

@TravelingCouple I've had pcos since I was 17, but plenty of people I know have developed it(or started showing symptoms) later. There are multiple criteria for diagnosis but testosterone is a big one. I am not insulin resistant but I have high testosterone and 'string of pearl' ovaries.

@antoto that is so interesting about not using clomid. Did they say why? My RE was on board with clomid or femara and I definitely trust her judgement and level of expertise. I wonder if there is new information that wasn't out there 5 years ago when I used clomid...

kyersten · February 2017

Diagnosis (If you've been): tubal scarring

Cycle/CD: meh/23

Status (WTO/TWW/TTA): TWW officially I guess

What are you doing this cycle? (Testing? Treatment?) waiting to start period so I can begin BCP in preparation for IVF

How are things going? discouraged, I think everyone is pregnant except me (and with minimal effort on their part!)

Any questions? No

GTKY: Do you have any plans for valentines day? Just a quiet dinner somewhere, we aren't huge Valentine's Day people, DH prefers random gestures throughout the year.

@TravelingCouple I don't seem to have any (support groups) close either! It's frustrating. I'm also seriously thinking about going to counseling because not liking the emotional stress. I hope you find an option soon!

wabash15 · February 2017

@kyersten I'm sorry your surrounded by pregnant women. hugs. I was super excited to see you on the IVF threads though. Its great news that your getting this party started and hopefully not too long till you get your BFP.

[Deleted User] · February 2017

@TravelingCouple you have it all your life, unfortunately. It's weird because some women can have it and still get pregnant really easily - like Maci Bookout from Teen Mom has it and has had 3 unplanned pregnancies. And then you have women who have a way harder time. Or maybe for one year it's easy and one year it's hard. PCOS is dumb.

@heatherdubrow Yeah the RE said it was less likely than Clomid to create giant cysts and in his experience just tended to yield better overall results.

IF/Testing Check-in Week Feb13th

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