Why my pregnant self is crying 2/9

Ekzerr · February 2017

A bit late to the game today but...

what has us crying this week?!

HGRich · February 2017

I cried pretty hard today when DH threw a fit about watching the videos and doing the interactive online learning portion prior to our childbirth class at the hospital tomorrow. He kept saying things like "I don't need this--I can coach you. This is stupid and obvious." I had to convey to him that that attitude really made me feel like my concerns and desire to be prepared for the biggest and most painful occasion in my life was something he didn't take seriously and even made me feel foolish for being nervous about. I tried to give him grace based on the fact that he's come off of an exhausting week and yes, the online module was a little cheesy, and he had absolutely no idea that what he does and doesn't know about childbirth. But by the time I had explained all this through my ugly crying he seemed to get that it had nothing to do with what he knew or didn't, and nothing to do with his feelings on the subject, and everything to do with how his support of taking this class and learning pain management techniques together made me feel like he took my concerns seriously. Men. Sigh.

Afterward though I think he realized he had no idea about anything to do with labor stages and pain management and hospital procedures and that sobered him up a little. Lol.

He also got angry with me when I reminded him that my mother was going to be my other labor coach and fill in to give him breaks. We had discussed this but he had apparently forgotten and was mad that his mom couldn't be in there too, and seemed to be offended that I thought he would need breaks. Oh my word. He simply must have been in flat denial up to this point and hasn't even been listening to me. But we worked it out. I'm so glad we're taking these classes together. Oy veh.

smoochie041719 · February 2017

@HGRich Oh man haha, hopefully it'll all hit him so he can be prepared along with you! Glad you worked it out in the end

Most men don't seem to get that having your own mom there as support is SOOOO different than having your MIL there. My best friend is dealing with this battle right now too.

HGRich · February 2017

@BabyBlake042017 no kidding. At one point he said something along the lines of "I grew up on a farm, I know what birth looks like."

Oh no you did not just compare me to a cow!

I really don't think he'll be like that at delivery but man. He's not scoring points at the moment. Lol.

Lovable Bump · February 2017

This whole day has been crap. I had to fast for 12 hours for my 3 hour glucose test this morning and I kept waking up in the middle of the night starving. When I got to my OB's office for my test, I wasn't able to complete it since I threw up 50 minutes in. DH had dropped me off, since we live 50 mins away from my OB office & carpooled, so he could drive to his office and finish a few things that were due today. So I was stranded at my OB's office for a half hour feeling dizzy, hungry, nauseous, and just bummed I couldn't finish the test (i know it's not a crazy long time, but it seriously felt like forever). My OB office is in an office building in the middle of basically nowhere, so there were no options to walk to grab a snack or anything

. DH took me to get food right away, but then we had to drive to DH's office since he had to finish those few things he was planning on doing during my test. Since I was so lightheaded and my stomach was off, I couldn't even get out of the car. I just took a nap in the backseat, which was insanely uncomfortable while nearly 30 weeks pregnant and feeling like I've been hit by a bus.

I took a nap and ate when we finally got home so I feel a little better, but my stomach is still doing flip flops. I am not looking forward to having to try this again. The fasting makes it so much worse to me. I'm going to talk to the prenatal coordinator on Monday to see if I can take jelly beans in lieu of the glucose drink and see if the 12 hour fast is necessary. Hopefully I'll get through the next attempt. I just keep telling myself that once our baby is in our arms, this will all be worth it

/end rant

bww_0331 · February 2017

I've been battling allergies for almost a week. Tried to go home sick on Friday but couldn't get anyone to cover my class. Was absolutely miserable yesterday. But the ILs have been here all weekend. So instead of getting to rest/relax and try to get some amount of health and energy back for this coming week, I was on entertainment duty. DH and I haven't talked all weekend, as I have basically been ignored. Even though I was VISIBLY miserable last night (runny nose, sneezy, puffy watery eyes) they still decided to drive half an hour away to go out to eat. DH hasn't asked a single time if I'm doing okay, do I need to rest, etc. I'm so frustrated. So I excused myself to go to bed earlier than everyone else last night and cried in bed.

dam0ne4 · February 2017

I cried today because my blood sugar crashed, I went to get juice, and spilled it all over the counter. I hate GD

rachelmiller03 · February 2017

@HGRich That sounds a little like my DH. We are doing the Hypnobabies home study coarse, and with only 9-10 weeks left, we are really behind. He works a lot of evenings, and the evenings he does have off he won't turn off the damn TV to work on it with me. He says "he already knows" because we just had DS 1.5 years ago, but this is completely different! I really want to go med-free this time, and he just seems OK with it, but I really need him to be 100% on board.

smoochie041719 · February 2017

Not really sure where to put this but it's making me emotional so I guess it fits here. I spent all weekend in excruciating dental pain... couldn't sleep, couldn't eat. I went to a dental appointment today and they confirmed that I have an infection that has eaten a hole in my bone at the end of a root that has had a previous root canal. I'm a little stressed because they want to do dental surgery and want me to take a 10 day course of antibiotics. OB says the risk of infection is far greater than the risk of antibiotics while pregnant, but I still don't love the idea of taking them while pregnant even though I know I have to. I'm also stressed about them wanting to do dental surgery while pregnant. I guess I'll go for my consult and then run what they say by OB before making any decision. Anyone dealt with dental surgery while pregnant?!

HGRich · February 2017

@BabyBlake042017 I'm so sorry! That sounds horrible. Yeah, I get you about the antibiotics but I do agree the infection is scarier. But as for surgery--I thought most of the time they just waited until after baby is born but if this is necessary--I can only assume they'd numb the area instead of putting you under and that sounds miserable. I've had enough oral surgery in my life and I cannot imagine doing so while pregnant. Aside from the fact that they'd probably need to lay you on your side? Anyway, I'm so sorry about all of that. I hope they can work something out and maybe do it later.

smoochie041719 · February 2017

Thanks @hgrich. I was under the impression that most of the time they wait until after as well, but they were pushing doing it before baby comes, maybe because of the infection? We'll see what the actual endodontist says about that when I have my consultation. He was out of the office today so hopefully I'll hear from him tomorrow because they marked me as an urgent patient because of the pregnancy.

Blueberry85 · February 2017

@BabyBlake042017 It might be possible for them to just do the bare minimum to keep it in check until after baby is born. I had an abscessed tooth very early in my pregnancy with DD (like, 7 weeks or so) that needed antibiotics and a root canal. It ended up being done in 3 stages instead of all at once. Though, since yours has actually gone into the bone, it might not be something that can wait, unfortunately

SnarkasaurusRex · February 2017

@BabyBlake042017 Since it's progressed to a bone infection, it's probably riskier to wait until after delivery. Bone infections can spread to the blood and wind up other places (I know with dentistry they're primarily concerned with dental disease leading to heart disease), so, depending on what the endodontist says it may be pertinent to get it taken care of right away through surgery. Definitely let your OB know what's going on as well so they can also advise you on how your proceed. Thinking of you, and hoping whatever treatment they decide on goes well!

smoochie041719 · February 2017

Thanks @Blueberry85 and @SnarkasaurusRex. You're making me feel a little better about getting it done soon to protect baby.

Dannylion24 · February 2017

@BabyBlake042017 thinking of you!

I'm very emotional today. Trying to plan a joint birthday party for my two older kiddos and my oldest (8) is having a hard time in her new school (started after winter break) and is definitely acting out and being a bit irrational and I'm just not sure how to help her. She's our social butterfly, but she's also extremely sensitive and tends to blow simple situations out of proportion and hold grudges so it's difficult to know what's actually a big deal and what's not, bc to her, everything is major. Anyways, I'm just at a loss bc with 6 weeks till my due date I want to make sure to celebrate my older two kiddies before everything becomes about baby, but now she doesn't want a party or doesn't want to invite everyone (which isn't allowed at the school) bc someone said something to her last week etc etc etc and it's very hard to plan anything.

We also accepted an offer on our old house last week and the official contract came through and it has a completely different settlement date on it then what was proposed. Our realtor is not being very forthcoming with any information and I'm so so so frustrated! The new date is a few days after my due date which feels really really unwise to me.

I know none of this is "serious," but my sister also just announced plans to move to Oregon (we live on the east coast) and we are having an issue with a neighbor and I'm just finding myself so weepy and sad today. Damn hormones.

Ekzerr · February 2017

DH wouldn't kiss me when I got home from work today, just said I did nothing wrong he just wasn't in the mood (red flag) then he went up to bed shortly after. He came back down to the kitchen where I was studying about an hour later and asked me to go live with my sister for a bit. He said Valentine's Day made him think of how unhappy he's been with me lately and how we're only together for the kids. Long story short: About 15 months ago his brother's girlfriend was going back to work after mat leave and we had been making arrangements for me to help watch their son while she was at work (this was before I had plans to go back to school). They started making bigger requests of me and I wasn't able to say no, even though I knew DH would never go along with it. It started causing me major anxiety and I kept trying so hard to think of a way out of it, when in reality I should have said to her let me discuss this with DH and make sure he's on board. But instead I kept saying we'll figure something out and pushing it further and further along while trying to think of an alternate solution. Eventually it came down to the month before she was going back and I was in too deep and told DH what was happening and he told me absolutely not so I told them
i wouldn't be able to and his brother called and way overreacted about the situation and he doesn't talk with that brother anymore. He won't listen to me that it was all caused by my anxiety and not being able to say no and he thinks I may have been trying to cheat on him with his brother and 15 months later he still can't look at me the same. I've been doing my best to work on our relationship and since this happened to been to a therapist to deal with my anxiety

sorry for the novel I'm just not even sure what to do right now/tomorrow...

smoochie041719 · February 2017

@ekzerr I am so sorry to hear you and your husband are having a hard time. I can't imagine the emotional stress of all of that on top of a baby coming so soon. Thinking of you!

HGRich · February 2017

@ekzerr I'm so sorry! I hope he's willing to work something out with you, or try counseling or something.

I'll be sending thoughts and prayers too. I'm sure this only makes your anxiety worse. And it sounds like the situation with his brother was just a big misunderstanding and a communication thing. I also hope your therapist can help you through some of that. Thinking of you and baby.

Ekzerr · February 2017

@babyblake042017 @hgrich thank you ladies so much!
I laid down on the couch after I finished studying last night and he came down in the middle of the night and begged me to come up to bed. We had a massive heart to heart about how he needs help as well to deal with his anxieties and how he wasn't serious about me leaving but things set him off and he stews about them for weeks before finally blowing up and blowing thing out of proportion. He said it's not fair to me that he does this because he knows how hard I've been working to deal with my anxiety and be a better person for our relationship and now it's his turn to do so and I agree because this isn't the first time this has happened since it all went down last year and I said to him what's the point in me staying if every few months he asks me to leave. He seemed pretty serious about getting help so hopefully here's to a fresh start

KirstinH88 · February 2017

@Ekzerr Fx that YH is taking this seriously and is ready to do some self improvement. Big hugs to you. That emotional roller coaster is tough.

HGRich · February 2017

Good to hear, @ekzerr. I hope he does seek help. I work in marriage ministry at a church and our pastors are willing to counsel couples for free, and are respectful if you're uninterested in the religious side of things. So if cost is a factor and insurance doesn't cover it, you might try that. But maybe your own therapist will see couples? Anyway, just my two cents--whatever works for you guys I hope he's willing to be on board. Hang in there, you and baby!

smoochie041719 · February 2017

Glad to hear he is willing to work on the relationship @Ekzerr. It sounds like maybe some couples sessions would be really beneficial for both of you! Best of luck!!

smoochie041719 · February 2017

Going back to my "why my pregnant self is crying" from yesterday... I got a call from the endodontist this morning and they can't even see me for my evaluation until March 20 at 37.5 weeks pregnant. So while I don't feel awesome about waiting so long to figure out what is going on with my infection, I do feel confident that I can delay the required dental surgery until after the baby is born at that point. I spoke to OB and they said I should be OK to wait that long since they gave me a round of antibiotics as a "bandaid" for the issue, and hopefully that will help with the pain too.

HGRich · February 2017

@BabyBlake042017 well that's kind of good news! Nice to not have to worry about surgery but still frustrating to have to worry about the infection. As if pregnancy doesn't already have enough to worry about. But I guess if they can't even see you for another five weeks, maybe they're not worried about it spreading too fast?? Hope the pain eases too.

schef070911 · February 2017

@Ekzerr Oh man, that is a lot to deal with right now. Hope he follows through on getting the help he needs and that your communication continues to improve. Thoughts for you both and for baby

Ekzerr · February 2017

@hgrich I will definitely look into that, thanks for the suggestion!

thanks so much for the support everyone!

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