Let's talk about sex (baby)!

ellemnop90 · February 2017

I know I'm not the only one out there that hasn't had sex since their BFP. I'm aware it is safe (in a normal, low risk pregnancy) but I have been super paranoid and know that any bleeding or spotting caused by it would make me even more anxious.

My DH has been very understanding, but I know he is getting antsy lol. I told him I think we are good to start having sex again around 12 weeks (I am currently 11+3). So I was thinking maybe next weekend since my next appointment is the 21st and I can get reassurance that all is well shortly after should I have any bleeding or spotting.

Anyone in a similar situation? I am nervous, but ready to have a little normalcy back in our sex life!

happylifex3 · February 2017

I had some heavy bleeding after sex at 7 weeks. Went to the ER and they couldn't find a reason as to why. They said that a little is normal because of all the extra blood flow, but because it was so much to go on pelvic rest until 12 weeks. The bleeding continued for a few days.

Honestly though, I've had a low libido since having DD 3 years ago and it's even lower now. So I'm not complaining

msashley2010-2 · February 2017

Are you currently in a potentially high risk pregnancy? I'm no doctor, but if you're pregnancy is normal and low risk I'd say that you're probably good to go for a romp session. If you're too skeptical about it perhaps you and DH can come to a compromise? Perhaps foreplay or some type of intimacy without going all the way?

ellemnop90 · February 2017

@Msashley2010 No, not high risk (and normal as far as I know). I think sex will be good for the both of us, until now I have "helped" him in other ways. I think it's just taking the leap if you will and getting past my mental road block. This is definitely the longest we have gone without so I think sooner rather than later will be better.

JNR6510 · February 2017

DH isn't very interested in sex since we got our BFP. He just gets weirded out by the idea of a baby in there. Lol

wyomama0427 · February 2017

We had a long "abstinent" stretch right after we found out but that was in part due to being with family for a few weeks. But since we've been home we've pretty much been back to normal... and I'm not sure if it's the hormones or the extra blood flow or what but man.... it's so intense!

ellemnop90 · February 2017

Lol @daniellelynette now I am very hopeful!!!

mcdoug211 · February 2017

Ours has been normal for the most part. We've gotten in the habit of mid day sexy time while my daughter naps. I'm exhausted by 8 and rarely in the mood then haha

parker0706 · February 2017

I got put on pelvic rest too for a subchorionic hemorrhage until 12 weeks but the few times we've had sex beforehand after BFP I had no bleeding or problems at all. My husband was in love with pregnancy sex and swears it's the best when we were pregnant with DD. The exhaustion is WAY more real with this pregnancy!

kailapop · February 2017

*raises hand slowly*

I have yet to have sex with DH. I was totally going to and then had spotting for a week after an internal US, so I'm out until second trimester too. I'm almost certain the last time I wasn't such a prude, but I just don't have the drive or the energy to endure it right now. I know I'm running out of time for certain positions but I just can't.

DPandMB · February 2017

I have no clue if it's true or not but I feel like once you get further through your pregnancy, the risk of spotting/bleeding is much less. Again I have nothing to base that on. Just feel like that is how I was last pregnancy.

Hopefulmommy1980 · February 2017

I have been nervous to have sex and just not in the mood. I think we are have sex two or three times since I found out. It has been over two weeks. Dh understands and is frustrated. Luckily since we are on progesterone the timing doesn't work sometime.

BookitBoo · February 2017

I hope you guys get to have some enjoyable sex that won't give you anxiety! FWIW, sex in a normal pregnancy should be perfectly safe and will make you both feel more connected

harleyquinn0621 · February 2017

DH and I didn't have sex until we heard the heartbeat...then we had sex a couple of times but I started spotting brown after one session ...so I backed off again from sex and we've done it once since then...so a total of three times in the last 6 weeks or so...however, DH isn't suffering, I make up for it with lots of oral haha

wyomama0427 · February 2017

@harleyquinn0621 omg how can you stand oral (while pregnant... I can do it without morning sickness lol) ? I tried last time and instantly gagged haha it was awful. I tried to keep on trucking but DH stopped me... don't think he wanted to get barfed on lmao!

labby18 · February 2017

DH has been in California since 2 days before BFP and doesnt get back til 12wks and some change (3 more weeks and some change). So no sex here, just some self pleasure as i can control whats going on down there.

mrs_tacos · February 2017

We've had sex a few times, but at first we weren't having it because I just didn't feel up to it, and now that I want to, I'm on pelvic rest until my next appointment (3/6). Boo. I intend to have a lot of sex once I'm off pelvic rest, though, just because it's fun, an really healthy as a couple. I've seen a lot of friend's marriages kind of tank during their pregnancies because sex and marriage just aren't a priority anymore, and I refuse to let that happen to us (even though I totally understand how easy it would be without even realizing it).

Also, I almost barfed on DH giving oral a few weeks ago, so that's not happening again for a long time.

labby18 · February 2017

@amandarene112 im with you on the healthy for couples 100%, plus I really enjoy sex. And right now the idea that im pregnant with his child is making him even more sexy aaaand i have to wait 3 more weeks before the real thing.

ellemnop90 · February 2017

I haven't been super nauseous so oral hasn't been horrible, but I'm not the type that has ever loved giving it lol!

I have been in the mood here and there, but like many have said I really just want to start again to feel some normalcy and stay connected as a couple.

This weekend it is! DH will be so happy, I'm going to have to remind him to take it easy!

kaylaakosua · February 2017

LDR, havent seen FI since a week before the BFP. Flying down Tuesday morning, I hope he is prepared. My bag is like 50% lingerie

harleyquinn0621 · February 2017

@daniellelynette haha that honestly hasn't bothered me much...I did get sick once or twice afterwards but not enough to bother me during

kingfamilywife · February 2017

We usually slow down on frequency, but still 2-3 times a week. I had a rough third pregnancy so we didn't have much sex for that one.

jdarlin2012 · February 2017

We went about 3 weeks after we got our BFP without sex. Then out of nowhere last week my sex drive sky rocketed. I haven't been this horny since before we had DD over 2 years ago haha. I was a little nervous the first round, but DH just took it slow and everything was fine. I was way exhausted until last week and the nausea has let up a little so that helps.

sableeg · February 2017

I just feel so unattractive! My boobs are huge and sore, my face thinks I'm back in middle school, and I'm just so exhausted that I couldn't feel less sexy. It's hard to get in the mood feeling like this!

wyomama0427 · February 2017

@sableeg Amen. I'm in the exact same boat. Plus I gained so much weight from my last pregnancy, and I still have about 15 pounds too much left in my belly plus these stretch marks and saggy skin. I definitely don't feel attractive whatsoever.

maddisonwallace · February 2017

Y'all need to turn the lights off, get you some lube, and enjoy the ride lol.

I feel y'all on not feeling attractive and gross. I've got stretch marks everywhere, flab where it used to be flat, and I generally just don't usually feel good about myself. But what really helps me (and maybe this is tmi or weird) but I still "do it" for my husband. He doesn't notice the marks and scars from my son. He thinks my new curviness is sexy. Our men see us so much differently than we see our own bodies. And having sex and knowing that I'm still attractive enough for him to want me like that makes me feel good. And knowing that he loves ME and not just my body has really helped me chill out enough to enjoy sex in my "new" body.

As for being scared of the bleeding, seriously lube helps. And take it easy, you don't need to go 50 shades, think more Notebook style. Pregnancy sex is earth shattering lol.

BecauseLove · February 2017

ellemnop90 because I did IVF/Frozen Embryo Transfer and am under the care of a RE...we weren't able to BD before transfer (we have been on meds that would have been no good for him) till after we ween off the meds around week 10 (plus they want to avoid any irritation that might cause bleeding etc). So for us its been a long hiatus but long as everything stays ok with bebe it is totally worth it for us.

wyomama0427 · February 2017

maddisonwallace said:

Y'all need to turn the lights off, get you some lube, and enjoy the ride lol.

I feel y'all on not feeling attractive and gross. I've got stretch marks everywhere, flab where it used to be flat, and I generally just don't usually feel good about myself. But what really helps me (and maybe this is tmi or weird) but I still "do it" for my husband. He doesn't notice the marks and scars from my son. He thinks my new curviness is sexy. Our men see us so much differently than we see our own bodies. And having sex and knowing that I'm still attractive enough for him to want me like that makes me feel good. And knowing that he loves ME and not just my body has really helped me chill out enough to enjoy sex in my "new" body.

As for being scared of the bleeding, seriously lube helps. And take it easy, you don't need to go 50 shades, think more Notebook style. Pregnancy sex is earth shattering lol.

I agree with everything you just said. If I feel unattractive and gross I usually hop in the shower, use my smelly goods, shut the lights off and hop under the covers. Usually by the end I'm so into it I don't even care if he sees my belly jiggle lol pregnancy orgasms are seriously the best. And DH is constantly telling me how much he loves my body so that helps a little. I think he's crazy but whatever lol. And I agree with the lube. We've always used KY yours and mine but I haven't used it while pregnant. Not sure if we should switch or not?

labby18 · February 2017

Drunken hubby last night went on a ramble of how sexy and gorgeous he thinks i am and that he wants to do "bad things" and that he loves how big my boobs are getting and so on...like for 15 minutes. And if i said thank you for the compliments he'd be like No Shut Up you don't even know how hot you are. I was like ok...can you tell me this on the regular sober please?

wyomama0427 · February 2017

The drunk mans words are the sober mans thoughts!!!

It's nice hearing it though.

maddisonwallace · February 2017

daniellelynette said:

maddisonwallace said:

Y'all need to turn the lights off, get you some lube, and enjoy the ride lol.

I feel y'all on not feeling attractive and gross. I've got stretch marks everywhere, flab where it used to be flat, and I generally just don't usually feel good about myself. But what really helps me (and maybe this is tmi or weird) but I still "do it" for my husband. He doesn't notice the marks and scars from my son. He thinks my new curviness is sexy. Our men see us so much differently than we see our own bodies. And having sex and knowing that I'm still attractive enough for him to want me like that makes me feel good. And knowing that he loves ME and not just my body has really helped me chill out enough to enjoy sex in my "new" body.

As for being scared of the bleeding, seriously lube helps. And take it easy, you don't need to go 50 shades, think more Notebook style. Pregnancy sex is earth shattering lol.

I agree with everything you just said. If I feel unattractive and gross I usually hop in the shower, use my smelly goods, shut the lights off and hop under the covers. Usually by the end I'm so into it I don't even care if he sees my belly jiggle lol pregnancy orgasms are seriously the best. And DH is constantly telling me how much he loves my body so that helps a little. I think he's crazy but whatever lol. And I agree with the lube. We've always used KY yours and mine but I haven't used it while pregnant. Not sure if we should switch or not?

I was under the impression most lubes should be safe? I'm sure there'd be a warning on the box.

labby18 · February 2017

I use a more natural lube with less additives etc. Just look at what's in it.

wyomama0427 · February 2017

@maddisonwallace I have no idea, I know some lubes aren't ideal for TTC but I would think they'd be okay for pregnancy. I just don't want to take a chance putting anything sketch in there haha

ElleKH · February 2017

FTMs, I know this can be scary and it's true that everyone experiences it differently, but it's totally worth trying, as long as you don't have a high risk complication of some kind. Pregnancy sex can be incredible! Hubs and I both agree on that. Your partners will love the way your body changes and later, when you have a big belly, they'll be scared of hurting the baby. They won't, of course, but their concern is very sweet.

And you might end up loving the way your body changes too! Honestly, I struggled with low self esteem my whole life until I got pregnant. For a long time, I actually put off the idea of having children because I was terrified of what pregnancy would do to my body. Then, surprise to end all surprises, I ended up LOVING my pregnant body. The bump! The boobs! The bum! I turned into a vain, mirror-strutting freak. I couldn't get enough of it. For the first time in my life, I felt really, really sexy. I realize that makes me sound like a self-centered asshole, but please believe me, I'm normally a modest person.

Yes, you're going to feel shitty in the first trimester, but having sex can improve your mood and make you feel better. It's magical like that. Aaaaand the secret to wanting to have more sex is having it. Seriously. It's one of those laws of nature. "To get more energy, use more energy..." So jump in! You may hate it. If that's the case, wait a while and try again later. But you may love it.

Want a personalized experience?

Let's talk about sex (baby)!

Re: Let's talk about sex (baby)!

Choose Another Board

Search Boards