What CAN You say to a pregnant woman?

plumpous · February 2017

Just for fun..

What is something people said to you during pregnancy that was actually really nice or useful or at least appropriate?

chiquita928 · February 2017

When I found out I was pregnant with my first (at like 5 weeks), I eent to my mom's office to tell her. I was TERRIFIED. I was so uncertain and not ready. My stress level was at an all-time high, and I was hosting Thanksgiving the next day. Her response was unexpected and super perfect. She said, "Yay! You guys are going to have so much fun!!!" Up until that point all I could do was fear the change, and it was really unexpected (I was off the pill only 1 month, and just figured it'd take some time for me to get used to the idea...). I never thought about actually ENJOYING it. Go mom.

tuxielove93 · February 2017

My MIL was and has continued to be the best. When we told her she was so excited she started crying, and she was just talking about how wonderful it would be and how excited she was. I talk to her on the phone twice a week for like an hour now. We were already getting close, but how she has been during this pregnancy has really solidified our relationship. She's totally going to get major grandparent favortism and I don't even care. She's stepped up the most, been there the most, and will probably be the most loving grandparent the kids will have. You get what you put in in my book.

abmommy15 · February 2017

kerils said:

My MIL was and has continued to be the best. When we told her she was so excited she started crying, and she was just talking about how wonderful it would be and how excited she was. I talk to her on the phone twice a week for like an hour now. We were already getting close, but how she has been during this pregnancy has really solidified our relationship. She's totally going to get major grandparent favoritism and I don't even care. She's stepped up the most, been there the most, and will probably be the most loving grandparent the kids will have. You get what you put in in my book.

We definitely have grandparent favoritism going on over here. My mom is super involved, has spent the last 2 winters here instead of heading south like she usually does and is always willing to baby-sit or jump in however we need. MIL on the other hand lives in a different city but her mom lives here so she travels pretty frequently. On 3 separate occasions she was in our city (10 minutes from our house) and we had no idea until she was gone. DH is pretty close with his mom so I know he is saddened and confused by it but we can't control her actions. Visits with my mom now take priority because she makes the effort.

irishrose54 · February 2017

@kerils That is so nice that you and your MIL get along so well! I have MIL envy when I hear things like that. I try so hard to get along w mine but she is not a nice person and can be very selfish (quick example -upon telling her we were expecting we got a very negative reaction bc that meant we would not ever let her spend time with the babies - which she made up. I actually was anticipating lots of time spent together).

Something you CAN say to a pregnant woman: You look so great! You are glowing! - went to a bridal shower and my friend's mom said that to me. It was the first and only compliment I've had this entire time. It felt so nice

People seem to always remark how small I look...and maybe that is also meant to be a compliment but it just scares me bc I have PGAL brain and always think something isn't going right. Does ANYONE take that as a compliment?

also - my post sounds kind of negative and for that, I apologize. Not having a good day. ugh.

nikkiandchris · February 2017

You look great, how are you feeling?, can I buy you cake? Those are all safe in my book.

postywiththemosty · February 2017

Something I love hearing (even though IMHO they couldn't possibly know) is: You're going to be a GREAT mother! This actually warms my heart. I'm the President of our HOA and when I told everyone that I was expecting, our advisor from our management company was thrilled! She said, "Oh, I'm so excited for you! Sometimes you can just tell when someone is going to be a great mother and that is definitely you! I've been wondering if you guys were planning to start a family, but obviously it's not my place to ask. You're just going to make such a great mother!" It made me feel like a million bucks!

tuxielove93 · February 2017

@irishrose54 Haha don't get too jealous. My relationship with my mother is a disaster, and I have a SMIL who is just.... well.... i don't even know how to describe it succinctly. Let's say she isn't that easy to deal with. Especially for my personality. I think my MIL is a gift from the universe to me.

@maybeitsmadeline That's so awesome! I've had a couple people tell me upon finding out that they think I will be a great mom. Helps on those days when I'm completely freaking out about being a terrible mother.

BusyZee · February 2017

I second "you'll be a great mother!"
I also liked it when my friend said "I think you'll have a very happy baby"

Another' said " I would give you my children too because il know you'd be great!" I'm not even that close to her so I got emotional

My bestie said "can't wait for yor babies first meal" which I thought was so cute lol

The glowing ones are fine too, but I feel like they are said to everyone, I want my comments more customized to me hehe.

ginger1228 · February 2017

Ahhh I've had a few people say I'll be a great mom and one person said "what a lucky baby." definitely the right things to say!!! Not sure how true the comments are, but definitely made me feel good.

kat0607 · February 2017

Anything in the realm of "don't stress, once the baby is here you'll learn exactly what it needs and what to do, it'll be hard at first but you'll get the hang of it and it'll be great." I love hearing encouragement like this about life with a baby!! Also recently I've had a few young moms in my area reach out and offer advice and suggestions and I find it so helpful. Other people are getting through, so I can too!

mrscate88 · February 2017

I love when my friends tell me "you're always glowing when you're pregnant" haha. Some people take that bitterly but I like to credit my super expensive cheek highlighter!

ESG7417 · February 2017

I am just kind of popped with the twins. It shows that I am either pregnant or went on a beer binge at the Super Bowl party.

What can they say? ( strangers)
on a subway : Hi would you like my seat. ( yeah right!)
at starbucks ( or anywhere with a door) : Let me get the door.
I think being considerate without over reaching is nice, just because you are nice though does not open the door for additional personal questions. If I dont know you, conversations are not necessary.

As for friends / family:
I am going to the store need anything. ( my friends/ neighbors were nice enough to get a few things for me at the grocery store before the storm while I was still commuting home from work)
How are you feeling, up for a walk or want to go for a swim? sometime I need motivation to get moving. I was told I cant run anymore but I should still be doing some weights and walking at the very least. I am still swimming.
everyday.
I hate making the pregnancy about me and I honestly hate the attention. so those are my thoughts.

PurplePumpernickel · February 2017

@ESG7417 definitely looking forward to when I look pregnant (and am not wearing a puffy coat to hide it) for folks to offer me a seat on the train! Right now I just plop down if I can find one, basically anywhere.

The ones that get me the most are "You're going to be a great mom", especially from my students.

ESG7417 · February 2017

@purplepumpernickle Thats very sweet coming from a child. It would not sound so sweet coming from the people I work with haha, it would be more in the meaning of I can not wait to get my hands on your office and hope you don't come back. I work in a really cut throat place.

SaphireSweetie88 · February 2017

nikkiandchris said:

You look great, how are you feeling?, can I buy you cake? Those are all safe in my book.

@nikkiandchris - I agree. Especially the "can I buy you cake?" Lol

PurplePumpernickel · February 2017

ESG7417 said:

@purplepumpernickle Thats very sweet coming from a child. It would not sound so sweet coming from the people I work with haha, it would be more in the meaning of I can not wait to get my hands on your office and hope you don't come back. I work in a really cut throat place.

Aww, thanks. They're in college

Your colleagues sound like real pieces of work!

cssme13 · February 2017

I was terrified to tell my dad about this baby, #3 for us, after we told him over facetime he texted me and said "a baby is never bad news. I am so excited and proud of you"

My dad is the toughest looking guy I've ever met very stoic, he's retired Law Enforcement so he's definitely got the look perfected, but when he is around any baby or little kid he is an absolute huge teddy bear. My kids adore him and it made my heart so happy to be reminded how much he really does enjoy his grandkids.

OperaSingerMommy · February 2017

Plus one for "here, I made you cake/cookies/pie/anydessertisokreally" and "wow, you look beautiful!"

also adding, "let me know if you ever need a babysitter!" <<<major awesome points

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