Need bravery : telling co-worker

rockinro_17 · February 2017

So I need some bravery sent my way.

I think I'm going to have to tell my co-worker. I'm taking her and a few other ladies out for a drink after work to celebrate her upcoming wedding and it's going to be glaringly obvious that I'm not drinking.

My co-worker and I are pretty close so eventually she'll be happy for me, but things are stressful right now at work,plus she's 1 1/2 weeks out from her wedding. But the bigger thing is I think we both know my returning to work after this baby is not likely. I love where and who I work with and it breaks my heart to even consider leaving but I'm going to have 3 little ones at home (and one in school). I feel like I need to at least strongly consider taking on the title of stay at home mom.

Anyway I'm nervous as all get-out to tell her (and my boss). Got any encouragement or words of advice?

Tennis11785 · February 2017

First of all, there are a lot of ways you can get around not drinking if you're not ready to share yet. Getting a soda and pretending it's a rum and coke is one solution. Going to the bathroom and pulling the waiter/bartender aside and letting him/her know the details will go a long way in helping hide your virgin drinks.

Other options that work really well:

If you drink beer and it's more of a bar setting, order a bottled beer. Go to the bathroom and pour the beer out; replace with water and sip away.
Say you're on an antibiotic that you can't mix with alcohol
An impromptu headache usually works

That might help you delay the announcement to a less stressful time.

However, if you want to and are ready to share, I'd just share what you so know so far - you're pregnant. If your future employment status comes up, you can say "oh I don't really know. We're just enjoying the good news for now; it's too soon to start making decisions like that."

Good luck with whatever you choose to do!

rockinro_17 · February 2017

Thank you. Like your verbage!

KTdidit · February 2017

@Tennis11785 has some great suggestions. I just want to say that I'm n the same boat as you - this will be my 3rd and I can't justify putting 3 littles in daycare. So I think I will be a SAHM. My company also has a staff retreat planned for next month and I know that I will get a ton of questions at happy hour as to why I'm not having a beer. I have yet to figure out what I will say.

verily · February 2017

I made such a stink at work two months ago about my RE doctor telling me I couldn't have alcohol or caffeine (they all knew that I was trying to conceive) that no one batted an eye when I was abstaining during our happy hour last week. You could always say that you're on doctor's orders to avoid such things at the moment.

dogperson11 · February 2017

It's none of their business why you choose not to drink, but if you feel you have to give a reason say you're on an antibiotic and leave it at that

roo_baby · February 2017

If you tell her, do it in advance so that you don't take away from the party. I would say something like "I am super excited to take you for drinks tonight, but I wanted to let you know I'll be sticking to 7Up because I'm expecting again. It's still really early, and I'm not telling anyone else yet, but I wanted to tell you now because I want the focus to be on you tonight and not what's in my glass. I hope you are ready to drink enough for the both of us!"

rockinro_17 · February 2017

It went fine. I was a nervous wreck and they gave me a decent amount of slack-I've been at the job 5 years and this will be my 3rd pregnancy while employed there- but it's all good and my co-worker knew right away why I was telling her before going to get drinks. And I was able to get to our restaurant early and order a mock-tail. I think they were surprised enough that they didn't even consider my not returning. We'll cross that bridge a different day.

Oh and not a big deal but my department is only 4 people and we talk a ton so they definitely would have known if I was on antibiotics so couldn't use that one.

Kind of glad to have it done and over with though! I'm awful at keeping secrets

NervousNelly825 · February 2017

I kind of know how this can be. This is my first but I work in a chemistry lab and it was getting really hard to be sneaky and avoid the stuff that isn't safe. I'm only 4 weeks now but I ended up telling my coworkers today so I wouldn't end up harming the baby. I'm glad it went well for you.

Tennis11785 · February 2017

@rockinro_17 so glad it went well!

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