I am an emotional mess today. I was listening to "Scars to your beautiful" on the way to work and just starting bawling. I am so scared of raising a girl. My husband was like "What's wrong with you?" And all I could say was "Being a girl is so hard."
Then while at work I saw a report on the news about a 4 month old girl who was coming to the US from Iran to have heart surgery but because of our wonderful new president she is no longer allowed in the country. Her family has to go back to Iran and reapply for a visa which could take 90 day which doctors say she may not have. I tried not to cry because I was at work but I had to go to the bathroom and have a mini melt down.
Just saw an article about an 8 yr old girl from a northern reserve with an inoperable brain tumour and when granted a wish, instead of wanting to go to Disney World or doing something for herself, she asked for a brand new play structure for the children of the reserve
House fire a couple of streets over today. Smoke billowing everywhere. Total loss, but everyone made it out ok. I'm glad to see my neighborhood organizing some help and drop of places for donated items. But rattling to think about how quickly life can change like that, and I'm so glad all three kids made it out.
@HGRich there have been a few fires around here lately and it always gets me wound up. My brother's a Firefighter, and recently he pulled a man out of one (which I love that he kicks @ss and saved a life but it also makes me a nervous wreck) Another was in my best friends old apartment, I'm happy she doesn't live there with her kids anymore, but so sad for the people that live there.. they lost everything, including their cat.
I'm definitely more emotional this time around. And I think it's because of the fact that I have a child already. But everything makes me want to cry. Like when my alarm went off and I was supposed to get ready for work. Yeah, didn't want to do that and I was aaalmost crying. Seeing my daughter singing to a tune, seeing my daughter sad, seeing a cute pic or commercial. Ya just about anything makes me cry...
Looking at coming home outfits (do not do this unless you have some time on your hands, it is such a time suck!) and this onesie made me tear up at my desk.... take my money!!!
I'm getting so sad watching my daughter play and have a good time. Her time as an only child is in a two month count down and she has no idea! I'm going to be a mess saying goodbye to her when its time for the delivery.
Ridiculously silly but.....I want a cinnamon crunch bagel with hazelnut cream cheese from Panera. The whole thing, maybe two! This effing Gestational Diabetes is killing me.
**TW My best friend who was 16 weeks behind me, lost her baby this morning (12 weeks). She had a previous mc back in Oct/Nov 2015. I am so absolutely devastated for her. I really thought we were out of the woods for her. She has some complications with her uterus (odd shape) which makes conceiving and carrying a child difficult. It breaks my heart for her that she may never be able to carry her own child. She is the most patient, loving person I have ever met. She would make an AMAZING mother one day. Please keep her in your prayers.
If its any any consolation my bff just delivered a healthy girl in November after 2 mc due to a "septated uterus" (at least I think that's what it's called) meaning basically her uterus was divided in two...so there is hope!!
@KirstinH88 Aw that's so devastating. I will definitely be praying for her. I hope she doesn't give up and maybe she'll be able to carry to term after all.
@ekzerr that's what my friend has as well. And thank you, that does give hope. She is going to have more tests run by a high risk OB once she is done "healing" and then they will decide what the next steps should be. TTC is difficult enough, let alone when there are other issues that get in the way...
I'm crying out of frustration. I can't sleep! And when I do fall asleep, I'll wake up after an hour to intense itching that nothing helps to alleviate. I slept from 12 to 1am, and was up itching and scratching until 6:30; then woke up at 7:30 am to my son... I'm so tired. This is my average night now. I really hope I can get a diagnosis soon or get preemptively prescribed ursidiol because I'm pretty sure I have ICP.
Pregnancy # 6 4 missed chances 2 loving children 1 on the way
My daughter asked me tonight if I would rock her in the chair until she fell asleep.. she's been so hell-bent on being a big girl and doing things herself that I couldn't help but cry as I snuggled her and watched her sleep so peacefully. I'm going to enjoy those moments every chance I get.
Laid awake in bed last night for way too long thinking, worrying and crying. I am so ready to meet our little girl but I am so "not" ready. I have so much I "want" to get done but just can't get motivated for, I am worried about our little family adjusting to being a family of 4, I am worried about DS feeling "left out", I am worried about trying to nurse again, I'm worried about being a good mom to two kids plus being a good wife still, I could keep going but i'll stop. I know things will be fine and what happens, happens and we'll get through whatever but I am such a worrier!!
Oh and then someone posted the music video on facebook this morning of "Jealous of the Angels" and thus triggered more tears. My grandma is having surgery next week for uterine cancer and while the doctors are very confident that surgery is all it will take and no chemo, radiation etc and she is in amazing health otherwise it still just makes me freak out and think about some day she's not going to be around anymore (or my granddad) and that makes me so so sad as they mean the world to me and I can't imagine not being able to see them whenever I want (they live like 2 minutes from me).
I was at Michaels yesterday and was picking up some craft supplies and I dropped a brush and when I went to go pick it up my zipper popped from the bottomof my coat. My friend I was with laughed at me . I got so frusterated it was stuck and it wouldn't go down so I could undo it . Left the store took her home and tried the whole way home to move the zipper and I couldn't and I just started bawling. It's the only coat I have that fits now and when I got home I was still crying and SO was like what's wrong? I told him and he laughed at me so i cried more . He told me he'd fix it and for me to stop crying . He did and I did. But god I was a mess. Haha
I'm a hot mess today. I've been battling allergies all week so I'm already not feeling great. First thing I heard as I walked into school today was "oh look, someone has a waddle!" At lunch it was "oh my, you DEFINITELY look bigger today". Followed by a huge headache, burning back pain, and being overall exhausted. With 80 tests to grade tonight. Come home and crawl into bed because my whole body is exhausted. DH has decided to spent 2 hours putting together our new electric fireplace instead of helping clean because his parents are visiting this weekend. I was home, sobbing, in bed for over an hour before he came upstairs to see what was going on. The thought of entertaining people this weekend, teaching for another week, then a 5 hour drive for my baby shower is overwhelming at this point. I know my hormones are super touchy today, but I'm just not in the mood to see people this weekend. Not to mention my FIL who is always making rude comments about what/how much/how little I eat
My first crazy sob happened today. There's been tears along the way but a silly sob. We had a pretty snazzy snow storm yesterday and this morning DH had to clean the cars off. He half-assed mine - only cleaned the windshield and not the side windows so I put him back to work. Finally when he was done, huffing and puffing like a drama queen, I got in my car and tried to back out. The car revved but I didn't move. He throws his hands up and says something inaudible but probably not very nice or PC, and I lost it. He comes over and I'm scream/crying that the car won't move. He's like "what are you doing?!" and I cried and popped it in reverse again and nearly took him out with the open door. Looking back, I probably had the gear stuck between Neutral and Reverse but at the moment, it was the end of the world, haha! I ugly cried my whole way to work.
TTC Numero uno since 01/13 Me 31, DH 32, Married 08/08 02/13/15-HSG-All Clear
07/25/15-50mg Clomid CD3-7+IUI #1 cd14-3 Follicles; SA 21Mill- BFN
08/19/15-25mg Clomid CD3-7+IUI #2 cd15-just ovulated, SA 42Mill- BFN
09/10/15-25mg Clomid CD3-7+IUI #3 cd14-2 Follicles; SA 45Mill- BFN
Ekzerr
member
Re: Why my pregnant self is crying 2/2
Married: 5/30/2013
DSS #1: 5/25/2007
DSS #2: 1/22/2011
DS #3: 7/8/2012
BFP: 3/14/2016 ~ MC: 3/19/2016
DS #4: 4/21/17
Then while at work I saw a report on the news about a 4 month old girl who was coming to the US from Iran to have heart surgery but because of our wonderful new president she is no longer allowed in the country. Her family has to go back to Iran and reapply for a visa which could take 90 day which doctors say she may not have. I tried not to cry because I was at work but I had to go to the bathroom and have a mini melt down.
Just saw an article about an 8 yr old girl from a northern reserve with an inoperable brain tumour and when granted a wish, instead of wanting to go to Disney World or doing something for herself, she asked for a brand new play structure for the children of the reserve
Baby Boy due 04/07/17
Married: 5/30/2013
DSS #1: 5/25/2007
DSS #2: 1/22/2011
DS #3: 7/8/2012
BFP: 3/14/2016 ~ MC: 3/19/2016
DS #4: 4/21/17
If its any any consolation my bff just delivered a healthy girl in November after 2 mc due to a "septated uterus" (at least I think that's what it's called) meaning basically her uterus was divided in two...so there is hope!!
Baby Boy due 04/07/17
Married: 5/30/2013
DSS #1: 5/25/2007
DSS #2: 1/22/2011
DS #3: 7/8/2012
BFP: 3/14/2016 ~ MC: 3/19/2016
DS #4: 4/21/17
Me 31, DH 32, Married 08/08
02/13/15-HSG-All Clear
ER 02/05-20 Retrieved - 11 Matured, 9 Fertilized, ET 2/10 (1 Transferred, 4 Frz) - BFP 2/19, M/C-3/5-Trisomy 16
ER 07/14-14 Retrieved,11 Matured, 10 Fertilized, ET 07/19 (2 Transferred, 6 Frz), BFP 7/28, 8/16 U/S-TWINS!
Due Date - April 6, 2017 UPDATED March 23, 2017!
MMC @ 10w March 2016Cautiously expecting April 5, 2017
<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lmtf.lilypie.com/ZBoVm5.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Maternity tickers" /></a>
Pregnancy # 6
4 missed chances
2 loving children
1 on the way
Baby Boy due 04/07/17
Laid awake in bed last night for way too long thinking, worrying and crying. I am so ready to meet our little girl but I am so "not" ready. I have so much I "want" to get done but just can't get motivated for, I am worried about our little family adjusting to being a family of 4, I am worried about DS feeling "left out", I am worried about trying to nurse again, I'm worried about being a good mom to two kids plus being a good wife still, I could keep going but i'll stop. I know things will be fine and what happens, happens and we'll get through whatever but I am such a worrier!!
Oh and then someone posted the music video on facebook this morning of "Jealous of the Angels" and thus triggered more tears. My grandma is having surgery next week for uterine cancer and while the doctors are very confident that surgery is all it will take and no chemo, radiation etc and she is in amazing health otherwise it still just makes me freak out and think about some day she's not going to be around anymore (or my granddad) and that makes me so so sad as they mean the world to me and I can't imagine not being able to see them whenever I want (they live like 2 minutes from me).
Basically I'm a hormonal mess these days.
Me 31, DH 32, Married 08/08
02/13/15-HSG-All Clear
ER 02/05-20 Retrieved - 11 Matured, 9 Fertilized, ET 2/10 (1 Transferred, 4 Frz) - BFP 2/19, M/C-3/5-Trisomy 16
ER 07/14-14 Retrieved,11 Matured, 10 Fertilized, ET 07/19 (2 Transferred, 6 Frz), BFP 7/28, 8/16 U/S-TWINS!
Due Date - April 6, 2017 UPDATED March 23, 2017!