Troubles bonding with 9 month old daughter while pregnant — The Bump
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Troubles bonding with 9 month old daughter while pregnant

Lallie323Lallie323 member
5 Love Its First Comment First Anniversary Photogenic
edited January 2017 in Two Under 2
I am in tears, feeling like Im failing at bondingwith my first born. Im a stay at home mom and do everything for her but when dad is around then she doesnt care about mommy. Maybe she spends too much time with me? Maybe its because i cant play with her on the floor the same way dad does, without my baby bump being in the way? 

I had bad mornng sickness aswell for alot of the pregnancy so far, im the 3rd trimester already, and so I never had much energy to really play with my little angel. 

Im excited for the baby to arrive, but I feel like this pregnancy has come in between me and the firstborn. Breaks my heart!!

Re: Troubles bonding with 9 month old daughter while pregnant

  • Maybe she spends too much time with me?
  • your daughter loves you, and she also loves your husband. she gets to spend all day with mommy so when dad gets home its something new and exciting, and chances are she missed him all day. but she LOVE you. 
    the only reason I'm saying this is because I'm having the exact OPPOSITE problem. I'm a full time student right now and my husband is a stay at home dad. every time I get home my son is SO excited to see me he cries his little eyes out every time I put him down. now I'm 28 weeks pregnant and he's only 9 months old and I physically cannot carry him all day and play with him on the floor anymore. so I just start crying with him because I'm the worst mom ever. 
    I'd say try to admire the fact that she loves her father JUST as much as she loves you, and enjoy sitting back on the couch and watching them play. as soon as he leaves for work the next morning your little angel is all yours again. and when the next little peanut comes along you'll be back on your A-game and will feel much more energetic to be able to tend to them both . 
  • I think it's normal for a child to attach themselves to one parent sometimes more than the other. I've heard of "daddy's girls" that want their daddy the second they get home. My friend said her daughter would bawl when her husband had to use the bathroom and shut the door lol. She was like "I'm still here, what about me." My oldest son prefers my husband/male bonding while my youngest prefers me. It doesn't mean they don't love the other parent. Your daughter loves you, but she loves her daddy too. That's a good thing. Use the time they are bonding to get some much needed rest. How boring it would be if you did all the things your husband did with her. What makes both relationships special is that you each have a different one with her. That will blossom more as she gets older. Don't overthink it! 
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