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November 2016 Moms
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Anyone else having problems with SO about post baby body?

linnea625linnea625 member
in November 2016 Moms
H has been on my case to lose weight and exercise basically since the moment DS was born. He had a very hard time believing when I said there were a lot of things you shouldn't do for several weeks after birth (like crunches and running)...even when this info came from my physical therapist. 

I have since been cleared for any type of exercise, and H is pretty much being an ass. I was lucky enough to be back into my normal clothes just 1-week post baby, and now that DS is 3 months old, I'm back to my pre pregnancy weight (though not really the same body, as I haven't rebuilt much muscle tone yet). H is always always making comments that I eat too much and don't workout enough. He has started grabbing or poking at my tummy and love handles. Today I said "is that really necessary?" expecting him to apologize, but instead he says "yeah, it is, cause that bothers me." WTF

sorry for the long rant. Is anyone else dealing with this?
Anniversary
TTC since January 2015
3/15/2015 BFP!
4/15/2015 MMC  :'(
2/25/2016 BFP! Hoping for the best!
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Re: Anyone else having problems with SO about post baby body?

  • leighryleighry member
    If my husband did that to me he would be buried under our shed in the backyard.

    I give myself a hard time about my weight, I haven't lost any, but I have gained. I'm my worst enemy when it comes to how I look. My husband tells me I'm beautiful but I don't always believe him.

    I'm sorry you're dealing with that!
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  • rspalding001rspalding001 member
    I'd tell him to back off and give you time. It took 9 months to grow a baby and it's not unreasonable to expect it to take 9 months to loose the weight. I'm sorry but your H sounds like an ass and needs to be told to lay off the criticism.
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  • kvrunskvruns member
    What an ass. And this comes from someone dealing with an Ahole husband. 
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  • MrsMaryK2016MrsMaryK2016 member
    No thank God but what an ass!! Unless he gets pregnant, carries a baby for 40 weeks, births and nurses said baby then he gets no opinion about my body for at least a year. 

    But also, kudos to you girl for already being in your prepregnancy jeans. You can tell him most of us still have at least 10lbs to go. 
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  • hjmommaplus1hjmommaplus1 member
    That's not cool at all. I'd definitely tell him to back the f*** off! We all have enough going on and shouldn't be getting unnecessary pressure from the person that should be the most supportive to us! 
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  • SandNStarsNJSandNStarsNJ member
    I am not dealing with this, thankfully, but am very tough on myself, which I'm sure he knows. And I certainly don't condone what your DH is doing, but maybe he thinks he's being motivating? I obviously do not know him or you but perhaps he responds to that kind of thing so he thinks it's no big deal. Who knows... I say tell him to back off. It takes just as long to lose as it does to gain. Or give him the baby every time he comments as a gentle, passive aggressive reminder. Or withhold sex. 

    And to be be back in your pre-pregnancy clothes is amazing! It will more than likely take me until after I stop BF as that was the case last time. So go you!
    Married: 08.05.11
    Welcomed baby girl: 06.10.14
    Second pregnancy EDD: 06.16.16 MC: 10.29.15
    Welcomed baby boy: 11.25.16
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  • hoosiermama-2hoosiermama-2 member
    That's disgusting. Please do not take that crap. Sorry to be harsh, but no mother (or human) deserves that type of disrespect from her partner. 
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  • linnea625linnea625 member
    Thanks for the support, everyone. @SandNStarsNJ yes, he does respond to that type of motivation, but he knows that I don't. Maybe he needs a reminder. He doesn't deal well with lack of sleep, which makes him irritable. So maybe that's playing a part too. 
    Anniversary
    TTC since January 2015
    3/15/2015 BFP!
    4/15/2015 MMC  :'(
    2/25/2016 BFP! Hoping for the best!
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  • anne11716anne11716 member
    Stay strong @linnea625 I am sure you are doing amazing and man alive that is rude. I hope you let him know that it really bothers you and needs to stop!! 
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  • MollySmMollySm member
    Keep standing up for  yourself.   I'm giving myself  a hard time,  but H is nothing but supportive.   You need to make it clear that these types of comments are totally unacceptable,  and that he needs to be supportive.   Heck,  I'd be eating more junk food in front if him if he was going to be an ass
    BabyFruit Ticker

    BFP 3.8.16  EDD 11.20.16

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  • camcbethcamcbeth member
    My husband signed us up for the Y. He wants to lose weight and he likes to do it with me. However, he does mention how we should get out and run or hike, or do something active together. He used to be on my case like your husband when we were younger (in our 20s), but has since matured. We did a juice cleanse together last month and after our first I got really into crossfit and whole 30 eating. He did not. I remember how you're feeling now. It's frustrating. My husband knew i was frustrated with myself back then and even now and he just didn't understand how he came across. Like an ass. Again, he's matured and I truly think in my situation he wanted to support me, but didn't know how to say it properly. 
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