@srscott3 I would be upset if anybody decided to send an announcement out, signed from my husband and I. I do understand people are excited, but aside from word of mouth or possibly a snapshot or something to maybe a friend of theirs who I don't really talk to, I don't think it's anyone's business to do that. My mom had printed nice announcement photos of our son and gave them to us to send out whenever and to whoever we wanted. She then printed out announcement cards for our daughter that she never asked about and it really bothered my husband. We ended up not using those ones (and it turned into a mess) and printed out our own of our daughter, but she never stepped in and sent any out for us. (My mom's pproach was to sarcastically tell people we didn't want to use announcement cards so they probably wouldn't get one)
For us with both our families, that's something that if you told her you were doing and she decided to do it anyway, it would be a stepping stone to do more things like that whenever they want. (Obviously we have boundary issues) so for me I'd have to say something now and let her know that I appreciate the "help" but want to do it myself. If she's super stuck on sending them out we would have issues with that and refuse her to take any pictures until after we did our own announcements.
I think we all have things that bother us. To some it might not be a big deal, but to others it could be the straw that breaks the camel's back. So if it bothers you, you or your husband should say something before it's too late.
@lfrank12 Well it started when I asked her for a few addresses for H's side of the family. We decided we'll send paper announcements to just family (parents, siblings, aunts/uncles, cousins, and grandparents). H and I come from decent sized families, so that's 40 announcements right there. Which I thought was a good cutoff and also kept things fair across the board so that it wasn't just a select few of extended family receiving them. Also, with social media now, we will also post on FB so that friends and distant relatives will at least know she's born and see a picture. So I tell MIL all of this, thinking she would actually be pretty happy about it. Instead, she emails me a list of 60 additional addresses (all friends) that she would like to receive announcements. I don't even know half these people. so H told her that we would really just like to send our paper ones to family and maybe we can include all her friends in a Christmas card or something (He's not too thrilled about sending our baby's picture to strangers either). Her response was "Well that's okay, I'll just send my own birth announcement to my friends" and then went on to make "jokes" about how she needs to get a good picture at the hospital for "her" birth announcement.
Long story short, I guess to answer your question, no she wouldn't be sending to the same people as us, but I still think it's weird to sign it with our names and send it to all your friends.
@srscott3 it's one thing if she offered to treat you or help with them, but you get right of first refusal and she shouldn't send an extra one on her own. For me, I love picking out stationary so it's a task I'd be bummed to outsource.
@srscott3 so she has more of her personal invites to send out than you guys have for family that you're comfortable with sending? That would be frustrating to me, maybe your husband can just step in and tell her you guys don't feel comfortable with her sending any pictures out to her friends. I hope you can get it settled easily and not end up being upset for her overstepping. It would probably make her angry to be told she can't take personal hospital photos, so if you go that route, maybe start hinting to people now that you don't want people aside from yourself having hospital photos of their own, because those are special, personal photos just for you and your husband?? Aw hope it gets smoothed out.
@srscott3 that would be frustrating.. it's one thing to offer to help and be excited to announce, it's another to want to send out additional announcements to her 60+ friends. I personally would probably be ok with her sending additional to her friends only and make sure we were able to send out the ones to our family. I wouldn't mind people seeing pictures of my LO, but as a photographer I have a social media presence for my business and know some parents are very against this. I'm not sure if that's also your stance, and could be swaying your feelings? Either way I think you're justified in how you feel and may need to further discuss with H and maybe have another convo with IL. Like @Xstatic3333 said, I'm also someone who likes stationary etc, so I'm looking forward to getting to do that for my LO and wouldn't want someone to take that experience away.
Also to add when it comes to new babies and additions to the family, it's also good to be mindful of people's feelings rather than start a big argument. It's such an emotional time and everyone means well but sometimes people have a hard time navigating it all.
@kswiger06@kirstynikole thanks ladies. I'm definitely not going to stop anyone from taking pictures in the hospital. I'm really excited for our little girl to have so many people who love her and care enough to visit. It really was just more about her sending an announcement out on our behalf to people we don't know. I emailed back and offered to just add her friends to my list and they can all get the one I make (I'm a stationary nut too and I love designing those things), but she said she would prefer to introduce "her little lady" to her friends. So I just asked her to sign it from her and please to not make it seem like we sent it.
It probably isnt isn't worth the fight this close to the birth. And I'm usually one who likes to duke out everything. So I'm sure it's weird for her that I won't be fighting back.
Wow I think everyone is being so so nice about this one. I would have said absolutely not, any announcements about the birth of our child are coming from us.
@srscott3 haha yea I wouldn't want her signing it from us either and it's a bit odd that's she wants to introduce "her little lady". That comment would kind of rub me annoyed, but if it's only for her friends then sure? Sorry you're having to deal with this awkwardness close to the birth, but im glad youve reached a decision that works for you.
PSA regarding announcements: if you're going to order some offline, Mpix.com had the best photo quality It's the company I recommend when my clients want to get their own prints made.
Re: Monda B*fest, 1/29
For us with both our families, that's something that if you told her you were doing and she decided to do it anyway, it would be a stepping stone to do more things like that whenever they want. (Obviously we have boundary issues) so for me I'd have to say something now and let her know that I appreciate the "help" but want to do it myself. If she's super stuck on sending them out we would have issues with that and refuse her to take any pictures until after we did our own announcements.
I think we all have things that bother us. To some it might not be a big deal, but to others it could be the straw that breaks the camel's back. So if it bothers you, you or your husband should say something before it's too late.
So I tell MIL all of this, thinking she would actually be pretty happy about it. Instead, she emails me a list of 60 additional addresses (all friends) that she would like to receive announcements. I don't even know half these people.
Long story short, I guess to answer your question, no she wouldn't be sending to the same people as us, but I still think it's weird to sign it with our names and send it to all your friends.
I personally would probably be ok with her sending additional to her friends only and make sure we were able to send out the ones to our family. I wouldn't mind people seeing pictures of my LO, but as a photographer I have a social media presence for my business and know some parents are very against this. I'm not sure if that's also your stance, and could be swaying your feelings? Either way I think you're justified in how you feel and may need to further discuss with H and maybe have another convo with IL.
Like @Xstatic3333 said, I'm also someone who likes stationary etc, so I'm looking forward to getting to do that for my LO and wouldn't want someone to take that experience away.
Also to add when it comes to new babies and additions to the family, it's also good to be mindful of people's feelings rather than start a big argument. It's such an emotional time and everyone means well but sometimes people have a hard time navigating it all.
It probably isnt isn't worth the fight this close to the birth. And I'm usually one who likes to duke out everything. So I'm sure it's weird for her that I won't be fighting back.
PSA regarding announcements: if you're going to order some offline, Mpix.com had the best photo quality
It's the company I recommend when my clients want to get their own prints made.