Monday Mental Health Check-In 1/30/17

NYTino24 · January 2017

***This thread has a general trigger warning! Idea stolen from a BMB... This post can be replied to at any time during the week! Not limited to those with a diagnosis, but please be sensitive others. We will attempt to be as flame free as possible!***

How are you doing? Feel free to share a gif, pic, or meme that helps you.

NYTino24 · January 2017

Getting observed today. Normally I wouldn't be nervous, but *TW* my last one was when I was KU and not doing well before my MC. It didn't not get rated very highly, but I didn't have the energy to argue.

I wouldn't say my anxiety has been bad, because I have breathing issues and chest pain when it is, but I am slightly on edge. I have been more clingy with DH post-loss and I think he's getting annoyed with the hormonal / emotional mood swings. He is still handling most of them well.*/TW*

KariAnn323 · January 2017

I'm just frustrated with myself. DH and I went to Wisconsin for the weekend. DH plays a dork game and there was a tournament that we go to every year. There's 3 of us wives who hang out for the weekend. The other two are closer to each other than I am to them because they see each other more often. So of course my anxiety tells me that they don't really like me and they complain about me when I'm not around. Which is so dumb. They're driving 3 hours to come down to my house for a weekend next month. Logically I know that people don't drive 3 hours to see people they don't like. I just wish that I trusted that they like me and aren't coming to judge me.

@nytino24 lots of hugs fx your observation goes well. After our loss DH and I talked about going to a therapist. Sometimes it's nice to have a neutral 3rd party in the room. Sometimes it makes it easier to get out everything your feeling

jsnakehole · January 2017

@KariAnn323 I always feel the same way! Like why are people even around me when they all secretly hate me? I've even felt that way about my husband and my own mother.

I actually had an interesting talk with my therapist about that last night and she suggested that when the bad thoughts are creeping in to use the truths to counter them. Like I always think my best friend (of like 10+ years) hates me but the other day she researched and found places for my birthday because I was feeling too bummed to look myself. So when I think she hates me I'll try to remember that.

@NYTino24 good luck with the observations! I hate getting observed- I always end them shaking and drenched in sweat. I have two more to get in before the year is over.

lund · January 2017

@NYTino24 *TW* sending you good vibes today. Do you think it may be worth sharing with your situation with your superiors? Or would that be counterproductive? And, I too have been more clingy with DH on and off, and I haven't suffered a MC - so don't be so hard on yourself. This whole process is insanely hard even without complications. Maybe have a discussion with him and tell him that you're appreciative of the extra support he's been giving. My DH is always more helpful and more sympathetic if I verbalize what I'm feeling and show appreciation for his efforts to help (even if his efforts are feeble). *end TW*

@KariAnn323 I feel like I used to be just like that, but now I've almost developed a defense mechanism for it where I don't like anyone lol. Like, if I dislike them first then they can't hurt me. And, as a result, I certainly don't have many close friends.

This past weekend was a little rough. I was just in a funk and literally didn't want to do anything except eat. I tried to make sure to take my zoloft, which seems to help. But, of course zoloft kills my libido... so, I either get orgasms or less depression. Not both! And having a sex drive really comes in handy when TTC...

hartmich · January 2017

@nytino24 I hope your observation went well. One day at a time, girl. Don't be afraid to ask for what you need, whether it's from your H or anyone else. No one expects you to be "okay" because it just isn't. And that's alright.

@lund isn't it crazy how quickly you can go from good to bad days? It continues to amaze me. Sometimes you just need a day or two to do nothing and take it easy, but as I'm sure you know, try not to let it happen too often if you can. Just get up and go to Target or the gym or a walk or wherever. You'll feel just a little better that you did something.

NYTino24 · January 2017

@LuND *TW* I told my principal I was KU pretty quickly (at 4 weeks) because of the bloody noses and headaches I was getting and my bloodwork. I told her immediately when I started bleeding because unfortunately it was at work. She knew because I was out for 4 days after that and she went through it many times. I asked her to tell my supervisor because I had to miss the review with him. It was super awkward later.*/TW*

lund · February 2017

@NYTino24 how did it go?

@hartmich yeah the good to bad swing is crazy. I completely agree that forcing myself to get out and do things helps. I can't let myself wallow too much, otherwise it's a downward spiral.

DH and I have cut way back on drinking. But, last night we had a couple drinks because eff it all, and I honestly feel much better mentally today. Not sure what to make of that...

NYTino24 · February 2017

@LuND it takes a few days to get back online and schedule an in-person review

slaven · February 2017

I was just going to lurk and lovetit but I figured I'd post.

I was diagnosed with anxiety when I was younger and used to take something for it but I haven't for years. I actually did really well in college without meds which is surprising now that I think of it. It's mostly social anxiety and interacting with others. I don't hate people, I actually enjoy getting coffee with other spouses and all that but it's the initial meeting part that I'm horrible at. I had a meet up today at Starbucks and I knew most of the spouses vaguely but I still specifically chose a good seat that I wouldn't feel left out of conversation and was still super aware of everything going on.

For me, I find that forcing myself to do things helps. Here in Korea there aren't a lot of socializing activities unless you already know people or meet people easily (which I don't). I'm excited to move because there are a lot more of those easy going coffee meetups and such. I'm already part of a few spouse facebook groups for our new base, including one that's for child free spouses. Of course I hope I won't be part of it for long but at least that takes one of the stressors out of the equation. I think I did so well in college because I just did things without thinking lol. I was in a sorority and had my friends and branched out through them. Here I'm branching out on my own.

Last week I had to take my Sheltie in to get checked for a UTI. On the drive there I was shaking, not because I was worried about her, but because I didn't know what the Korean vets would think about me getting her pee sample in a plastic food container.

NYTino24 · February 2017

@slaven Anxiety sucks. A lot of other people don't understand because the stuff that bothers us is nothing to them. I think realizing it is an important step in reining it in.

flashley-2 · February 2017

@NYTino24 I hope everything is well and your observation went okay.

I have my doctors appointment next on the 14th. Lately, I haven't been right. The past year has been so tough and mentally I am exhausted. I have always felt 'off' but thought it was normal. I always thought my sense of not belonging, avoiding social events, being nervous, fear of the worst was just me and who I had to deal with being. I can't wait to talk to my doctor about this all because I am sure it's anxiety.

@slaven what you described while taking your dog to the vet ... I understand. I had been paying for my gym membership for nearly a year but refused to go because I didn't want to talk to the girls at the desk. What if they judge me ? I don't feel like I fit in. I decided to go and I was shaking and sweating the entire way there. Hugs to you.

I must also add that I really love how we can all open up about the way we are feeling. This is an excellent thread. ❤️

NYTino24 · February 2017

@FLAshley I'm glad you're taking that step. Do you have any friends or family that are good to talk with in addition to a therapist?

flashley-2 · February 2017

@NYTino24 DF has been incredibly supportive and caring. He keeps saying I need to give myself permission to be happy because I deserve it. I've been randomly crying lately because I feel "off" like I'm not "okay". I also have a close friend who knows what's up and he asks everyday how I am and if I'm okay.

Monday Mental Health Check-In 1/30/17

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