@NiceyMeany I'm so sorry to hear about your mild preeclampsia! Best wishes for both you and baby to stay healthy and well until delivery (whenever that should be)!
@NiceyMeany hopefully this next week is less remarkable for you (in the good kind of less remarkable way, of course!). Sending positive thoughts your way.
Thanks @lfrank12 and @kswiger06. I am feeling overwhelmed, but I know we will figure something out if we have to. I cannot believe they are changing the plan on us at this point... It does make me feel better I'm not the only one who'll be figuring things out in a week (but I'm sorry you're both in the same boat, FWIW).
How does our country value bonding time so little? I mean, they would give him the same amount of time off for his first child's birth that they'll give anyone to go lay on a beach?
I'm not sure. It does make me really sad though for DH. DH will be taking off time solely for the birth, then shortly after I have her, he has to go back to work. He works as a private accountant at his company and their audit is Jan 30-Feb 13th I believe. The only way he will be staying with me longer is if for some reason I'm forced to have a c-section. He plans on taking a week off at a later point when things settle down at work. It really makes me sad he's only going to get to see her that long, but there's nothing else he can really do as they need him.
BFP #1: DD born on 08.25.12
BFP #2: 09/08/15 miscarried at 6w
BFP #3: DD2 born on 02.07.17
@NiceyMeany I'm sorry you're having to go through that. It sounds like similar to how DD was born. I had BP issues and mild pre-e that they diagnosed late at 36w, early 37w. My BP didn't level out unfortunately and I had to be induced at 37w 3d. It wasn't the birth I was expecting, but once DD was here it was all worth it.
If you keep with your Feb 6th induction date, that's the same day I'm supposed to be induced. Good luck mama!
BFP #1: DD born on 08.25.12
BFP #2: 09/08/15 miscarried at 6w
BFP #3: DD2 born on 02.07.17
Question for all you ladies: Are internal exams SUPER painful for anyone else, or is it just me? I just had my 39 week appointment and the dr did an internal exam to check how I am progressing. He said he could only use one finger because I about was on the ceiling when he tried using two. He couldn't reach my cervix too well he said because of it, but I was not dilated and only starting to thin. ::sigh:: Then to make me feel even better, he noted how this was just two fingers he was trying to get in and a baby's head is much bigger than that (thanks Doc. That makes me feel MUCH better and less tense. Thanks). I just feel like he was making me feel like I shouldn't have reacted that way, and I was abnormal in my inability to handle that exam.
So is it normal to have such a painful internal exam? It's usually painful for normal gyro exams when they use the duck lips etc but this, I don't know, it was like he just went to shove his fingers in and that just made me tense up even more.
A few years ago I went to a specialist and was diagnosed with vaginismus where basically my muscles tense up and spasm, and it used to make sex painful and difficult. With some work it got better with my hubby and now it's not an issue, but I wonder if it will be an issue with labor?? It certainly seems to be an issue with my internal exam... :-\
@Hare122 my appointment yesterday (friday) was extremely painful. But it was only painful when she was actually measuring me. It didn't have anything to do with how many fingers, but the sensation of her poking around my tender cervix opening.
@Hare122 a lot of people find vaginal exams unpleasant and painful. the cervix is a sensitive area already.However, your diagnosis would make those particularly unpleasant.
I'm less worried that you were uncomfortable (because that is normal). Im more worried that your doctor was such an asshole. Does he know about your diagnosis? Has he done anything to try to help you relax or be comfortable?
I think some doctors, especially male doctors, get so used to childbirth they forget that it is our vagina and that these exams are an intrusion into our most private space. For women eith issues like yours or who have experienced sexual assault they can be even more unpleasant-- even traumatic.
Is there someone else in the practice you can switch to?
@Gretchypoo No, this is a new practice that I started going to when I found out I was pregnant, because we had moved since my last annual at my prior doctor. So my old practice is who referred me to the urologist specialist. It never even occurred to me to inform the new place of that past diagnosis, because it hadn't been an issue in well over a year and a half at the time. I never had my records transferred over, either. In hind sight, I should have.
Yes, I agree with you on your comment about male doctors.... they don't have this anatomy and I think men, no matter how much schooling they had on female parts, will really understand how it feels.
I will ask about switching a doctor, however I think I'm scheduled with the same doctor for my next appointment at 40 weeks Because I'm now on a Friday weekly-appointment rotation and they don't have evening hours, I'm stuck with whoever has an opening first thing in the morning or late afternoon, so often I don't have much choice in who I see. In this practice (which is associated with my hospital), they have you rotate through seeing all the doctors over the course of your pregnancy. That way when you go into labor, the theory is that you've seen and had some sort of interaction with all of them and are hopefully comfortable with all. That said, there are now one or two I'd rather not be my doctor when I go into labor (but there's no controlling that).
@Hare122 I think it totally depends on the doctor. I've had 5 internals so far and there's a whole range from barely felt to to OMG that hurt. I remember the same in the hospital when I was in labor. So hopefully for your next appointment you get someone who doesn't hurt!!
@Hare122 I'm sorry he was such a jerk about it. I think at the end of pregnancy everything is just swollen and sore down there. Some doctors don't do internal exams since it doesn't really accurately determine anything about when baby is coming. You can decline the internal exam.
As for labor, things slowly stretch out ovet many hours and there's a good purpose (baby needs to come out)! So in my opinion, different that someone rushing through an internal exam. And obviously, if you choose, there are options for pain relief! Don't let that jerk of a doctor scare you or add to labor fears!
@Hare122 I had an excruciating internal with my first kid when they were admitting me. Until that point I had others that felt nothing like it. It was so painful that my body couldn't keep still and the nurse attempted to forcibly hold me down. It was actually a female doctor who did it. I was so traumatized I actually cried. A couple hours later I was checked by a male midwife and barely felt anything. I think it depends on the approach and level of gentleness.
@Hare122 Im so sorry that you had to be put through that. If you have him again i would suggest you decline the internal. Some doctors can be so Rough or have large fingers etc which can make it feel worse than it should. I think most of us have had a bad internal due to a doctor or sensitivity in general.
Try not to let that doctor scare you,You will get through labor just make sure to let your nurse know that you have a condition that makes things more intense etc. Also pain relief is always there and dont feel ashamed to us what is needed.
Re: Appointments: Week of January 23
If you keep with your Feb 6th induction date, that's the same day I'm supposed to be induced. Good luck mama!
So is it normal to have such a painful internal exam? It's usually painful for normal gyro exams when they use the duck lips etc but this, I don't know, it was like he just went to shove his fingers in and that just made me tense up even more.
A few years ago I went to a specialist and was diagnosed with vaginismus where basically my muscles tense up and spasm, and it used to make sex painful and difficult. With some work it got better with my hubby and now it's not an issue, but I wonder if it will be an issue with labor?? It certainly seems to be an issue with my internal exam... :-\
I'm less worried that you were uncomfortable (because that is normal). Im more worried that your doctor was such an asshole. Does he know about your diagnosis? Has he done anything to try to help you relax or be comfortable?
I think some doctors, especially male doctors, get so used to childbirth they forget that it is our vagina and that these exams are an intrusion into our most private space. For women eith issues like yours or who have experienced sexual assault they can be even more unpleasant-- even traumatic.
Is there someone else in the practice you can switch to?
Yes, I agree with you on your comment about male doctors.... they don't have this anatomy and I think men, no matter how much schooling they had on female parts, will really understand how it feels.
I will ask about switching a doctor, however I think I'm scheduled with the same doctor for my next appointment at 40 weeks
Some doctors don't do internal exams since it doesn't really accurately determine anything about when baby is coming.
You can decline the internal exam.
As for labor, things slowly stretch out ovet many hours and there's a good purpose (baby needs to come out)! So in my opinion, different that someone rushing through an internal exam. And obviously, if you choose, there are options for pain relief! Don't let that jerk of a doctor scare you or add to labor fears!
Try not to let that doctor scare you,You will get through labor just make sure to let your nurse know that you have a condition that makes things more intense etc. Also pain relief is always there and dont feel ashamed to us what is needed.