Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
BenJay
member
Re: What to do about "wimpy" sperm?
I know men men can also take HCG.....it would increase sperm production, not sure if it helps with morphology. I would assume a urologist is going to be better at suggesting therapies than we are.
TTC#1 since November 2015
9/16/2016 IUI#1 - BFN
10/12/2016 IUI#2 - BFN
1/21/2017 Clomid/IUI#3 - BFN
March 2017 IVF: BFP! (beta#1 191, beta#2 378!) - it's a boy! DS born 12/6/2017
TTC #2 since July 2018
May 2019 IVF #2: BFP! (beta#1 346, beta#2 646) - vanishing twin at 8 weeks. Baby B still going strong - due 2/8/20!
DH didn't specify on morphology/motility.
DH - low motility
Rx: Levothyroxine, misc supplements
I don't personally have this problem with DH, but I just wanted to throw out there that my cousin is currently pregnant with twins after her and her husband had issues with his motility and he took clomid for it and now twins. Just putting some positive thoughts out there.
It's been a tough night but I have to remember there's still a chance.
DH - low motility
Rx: Levothyroxine, misc supplements
FX at least one of those too-relaxed sperm becomes a go-getter!
All I know is that he finally has a taste of the emotional part of the infertility. It did feel good to hear him say "wow, now I know what it's like to just want to be done with trying." Yes! What, 1 year 7 months in and we're on the same page!
DH - low motility
Rx: Levothyroxine, misc supplements
DX: PCOS/Unexplained Infertility/MTHFR Mutation
TTC since December 2014
Fresh Transfer: Gonal, Menopur, Cetrotide. ~ Chemical Pregnancy
FET #1: 1st Beta- 3,792~ 2nd Beta- 4,227~ BFP ~ Miscarriage at 8 weeks
FET #2: 1st Beta 207~2nd Beta 235~ BFP~ Miscarriage at 6 weeks
FET #3: 1st Beta 18~ 2nd Beta 44~BFP~ Miscarriage 5 weeks
FET #4: 1st Beta 50~ 2nd Beta 97.7~ Miscarriage 6 weeks 5 days
FET#5: 1st Beta 29~ 2nd Beta 109~ 3rd Beta 227~ 4th Beta 661~ Miscarriage 5 weeks 3 days
Miracle Natural BFP Estimated Due Date June 2019~ God is good
2 snow babies
Thanks!
DH - low motility
Rx: Levothyroxine, misc supplements
Heh heh...
DH - low motility
Rx: Levothyroxine, misc supplements
**Lurker** & **TW: BFP Mentioned**
@BenJaySorry for lurking. My DH and I struggled with IF for a few years (and still do), and I found this board to be helpful. Sometimes I lurk because I still find others' success to be uplifting.
My DH has a similar issue to what you are describing as "wimpy" sperm. Our RE called my DH's sperm "sluggish." I just wanted to jump in and share some interesting advice that we got from our RE that I don't ever see posted. Our RE said that my husband had an excess amount of mucus in his sperm, which she believed was making them "sluggish." She recommended that 72 hours prior to our IUI procedure, my DH take Mucinex. Our RE said that there was a marked improvement in the motility of the sperm sample after using the Mucinex. It's hard to say exactly how much that added to us having a successful IUI, because there were a number of factors to our protocol, but there you go. We did the Mucinex among other things and it worked!
Fx crossed for you and sending positive thoughts your way!
Me: 36, DH: 36
Married and TTC Since 2/2012
Me: Mild PCOS, DH: Low Sperm Count and Motility
IUI #1 w/Clomid + Trigger - BFP 10/15/15, MC (CP) 10/19/15
IUI #2 w/Clomid + Trigger - BFP 12/14/15 EDD 8/23/16
Foster to Adopt Placement! DD#1 Born 7/2016
DD#2 Born 9/2016
Foster to Adopt Placement! DS Born 7/2018
TTC #1: Oct 2015
DX: Unexplained - all tests normal
TXX:
Jan '17 - 1st round of Letrozole 25mg CD1-9... BFN
Feb '17 - 2nd round of Letrozole 25mg CD1-9... BFN
Mar '17 - 3rd round of Letrozole 25mg CD1-9 + IUI... BFP!!!!!!
I think about how much I want to be a housewife in yoga pants all the time. Just yesterday, getting dressed for work, I was like: "God, I cannot wait until I'm wearing yoga pants and just exercise and have my nails done all day." Like, to do a full-on ladies who lunch lifestyle. Even DH is now like: "I can't wait for that either, honey", I talk about it so much.
I laughed so hard when she was like: "those women are geniuses" and talked about the Whole Foods pre-sliced mango.
I don't think that this is a super-credible, super-scientific article, but at least it has some general information
https://www.lifeextension.com/magazine/2012/12/reversing-male-infertility/page-01
Married: 2/1/2012
TTC #1 since August 2016
DH SA Dec 2016: Low count (11.7 mil total motile), 5% morphology, 73% motility
Blood work June 2017: AMH 1.1 (ugh), FSH 8.4, LH: 5.2, estradiol 28 pg/ML, progesterone 7.4
HSG July 2017: tubes clear
BFP 7/24/17 - EDD 4/5/2018
@funkykey - Ali Wong is just brilliant. I want to be in yoga pants all day (maybe not exercise, or the nails) but the yoga pants, yes.
@LuND - I am uncertain that hubz gave me the whole story or that he really asked any questions. He likes things "simple" and he thinks I "make things complicated and overthink". Let me see if I can get him to humor me and contact the urologist. Thanks!
DH - low motility
Rx: Levothyroxine, misc supplements
MFI (High DNA Fragmentation) & Mild endometriosis
Aug 2016 - May 2017 6 IUI's with letrozole - BFN
April 2017 - laparoscopy to remove mild endo
June 2017 - Mini IVF letrozole 12.5mg, Gonal-F 75IU - Cancelled early ovulation, no eggs retrieved.
Aug/Sept 2017 - Mini IVF letrozole 12.5mg, Gonal-F 75IU, cetrotide - 13 eggs retrieved, 11 mature
5 eggs ICSI'd 6 eggs frozen - 1 day 5 blast transfered, 2 expanded blast frozen - BFP!
May 2018 - Baby girl born - Our Joy
TTC #2 since July 2019
July 2019 - FET - BFN
Jan 2020 - FET - canceled due to family health issues
Mar 2020 - FET - low beta - chemical pregnancy
July 2020 - ICSI'd remaining 6 eggs - 3 fertilized - 2 survived to early blast stage, transfered both - Chemical Pregnancy
DH - low motility
Rx: Levothyroxine, misc supplements
I'll let you know if it ends up working for us.
MFI (High DNA Fragmentation) & Mild endometriosis
Aug 2016 - May 2017 6 IUI's with letrozole - BFN
April 2017 - laparoscopy to remove mild endo
June 2017 - Mini IVF letrozole 12.5mg, Gonal-F 75IU - Cancelled early ovulation, no eggs retrieved.
Aug/Sept 2017 - Mini IVF letrozole 12.5mg, Gonal-F 75IU, cetrotide - 13 eggs retrieved, 11 mature
5 eggs ICSI'd 6 eggs frozen - 1 day 5 blast transfered, 2 expanded blast frozen - BFP!
May 2018 - Baby girl born - Our Joy
TTC #2 since July 2019
July 2019 - FET - BFN
Jan 2020 - FET - canceled due to family health issues
Mar 2020 - FET - low beta - chemical pregnancy
July 2020 - ICSI'd remaining 6 eggs - 3 fertilized - 2 survived to early blast stage, transfered both - Chemical Pregnancy
DH - low motility
Rx: Levothyroxine, misc supplements