New Girl Introduction

WDeitch91 · January 2017

Hi, my name is Whitney and my husband and I have been TTC for 2 years now. For the past two years I have heard it all, from our lives were too stressful and busy to we needed to just stop trying and it would happen on its own. For awhile I wondered if I was too stressed but we finally decided it was time to get some tests ran to see where we stood. Last week we received the results from my husbands semen analysis. We were told that he has a low sperm count as well as poor motility. I have not been given any numbers and actually left a message today for my doctor so we could get some more information. All I know currently is that we are being referred to a fertility specialist. I am very unsettled about this as I have no idea what to expect and how long it takes to get into a specialist and get a plan put together. You would think after 2 years TTC that I would be good at waiting but I feel like I have only become worse at waiting. People constantly ask when we are going to have kids, my closest friends all just started having babies, and I am over the waiting game! If anyone had similar issues and could share their experience or even shed some light on the specialist process I would greatly appreciate it. I am so glad to have found somewhere to get some support.

funkykey · January 2017

Hi @WDeitch91 - I'm sorry you're here, but want to wish you luck with the specialist. I hope you can find one you like and get in quickly. I was lucky - I requested that my OB refer me to a specific RE, but I knew which clinic I wanted to use. In my area there are a couple, and I'd seen articles in the newspaper/heard people talk about the different clinics, so I was comfortable with my choice.

I'm not sure if you're in a similar situation or not, but if you are, it might help to look around and call a couple of clinics, ask them about their waiting list/how long it will take to meet someone - that might help put your mind at ease. Because your DH's SA came back with something, they should be able to put together a plan pretty fast, depending on whether or not you have any other issues/what other tests you've done.

I am glad you had your tests done! When we'd been trying for about 6 months, I started to worry. I remember being told: "oh, just relax" or "maybe it's stress" by a few people. I believed them for a bit, too - like: "well, we were doing that renovation..." but then it made me angry. I'm sure in some cases, extreme stress affects fertility (like in Sudan, extreme stress), but for a lot of us, stress isn't the reason. This concept (that someone isn't getting pregnant because they're stressed) is pretty bogus. I wish fewer people believed it and that more said: "talk to your doctor - is there something you can test for, cheaply and easily?".

Good luck! And good luck with your friends and all the "when are you two having kids" questions. Those are the worst!

hibiscus118 · January 2017

Hi and welcome but so sorry you find yourself here. Sounds like we have a similar diagnosis. The stress excuse is annoying, we got that too. I knew something wasn't right after 6 months or so but didn't really think anyone would do anything about it until we had been trying a full year.. so we did.

I think it took us 3-4 weeks to get an appt. with the specialist. During those weeks we didn't know SA numbers, just that it was bad and we were thinking the worst. The RE eased our minds tremendously and while we still went forward with IVF, we were able to use my husbands sperm. After our initial consult I had a couple tests and hubby had a consult with the reproductive urologist. That took a few weeks after we had our RE consult so if I would have known, I would have made an appt. there as well for a week or two after the RE.

Good luck, it's very scary at first. I found it got a little easier after we had some answers.

gwinnyblack · January 2017

I also feel a bit more pressured you know. when at my age some of my friends start having grandchildren. But i suppose this is only my issue as I have started thinking about having kids too late. I am now 48.
PS wishing you the best of luck!

rainbowwishes5 · January 2017

I am sport you find yourself here but welcome and good luck!!!

WDeitch91 · January 2017

@hibiscus118 Thank you! Our doctor said it shouldn't take more than 8 weeks to get into the specialist. It is incredibly scary but I am glad to hear it settles down a little. I wonder if we need to see about scheduling with a urologist as well.

hibiscus118 · January 2017

@WDeitch91 couldn't hurt to ask when you make your appt who your clinic refers to. You could at least get it set up for a week or two after your RE appt and then cancel if they don't think you need to go. Some don't go, I'm glad we ended up being referred because my DH had a couple issues and we were able to up the numbers enough that I didn't feel as stressed when we started IVF. But then again, it took time to wait for the numbers to go up after we worked on the issues and you may not want to wait.

Momifbysea · January 2017

@WDeitch91 welcome! I'm new here too and we were DX with low motility also as well as low morphology. I found it eased my stress a lot once we started seeing an RE, because we felt like we had a plan and that a specialist would give us that help we needed. Glad you're here!

MariaBend25 · January 2017

Welcome! I am a bit different being military, I got in to the RE within two weeks of getting the referral to the clinic from my primary doctor. As far as the numbers game, there is a lot of good technology to overcome the SA counts and once you talk to your RE you will probably immediately be relieved with the amount of options available.

WDeitch91 · January 2017

@funkykey I am not lucky enough to have heard anything about specialists but I may do some checking around. I honestly hadn't even thought about that, I was just going with whatever our family doctor recommended.

I agree and I think that more people need to start acknowledging that seeking some tests isn't a bad idea. The sooner the better I think.

Thank you for the well wishes! Now that we actually know what is going on our close family and friends have been incredibly supportive!

WDeitch91 · January 2017

@hibiscus118 I may do that. I feel like at this point it's better to get all of our obstacles figured out and on the table. Once I know where we are going I will make that call and see if we can get the ball rolling on that as well.

jayceebabi · January 2017

Welcome!

IfYouCanDreamIt · January 2017

WDeitch91 sorry you find yourself here, wishing you luck in finding a specialist. Waiting is hard when you've already been waiting for so long. I understand how you feel with all friends having babies, we've just been to visit our friends with a new born yesterday and all I could think of was when will it be our turn... Wishing you best of luck

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