Husband with Depression - thinking about babies

Re: Husband with Depression - thinking about babies

• mill1020 member

  January 2017

  My spouse doesn't have depression but I do.  It's definitely a struggle--and parenting is hard under the best of circumstances-- but it's also a treatable thing, as is anxiety and OCD, if I'm not mistaken.  Does he have a good doctor and a good therapist?  

  Laura, mom of:

  James (14)

  William (13)

  Elise (11)

  Zachary (5)
  George (3)

  
  

  www.letterstoauntkay.com [making the blog private.  PM me if you want to subscribe]

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• mothernorth member

  January 2017

  I would say go to counseling together (couples therapy preferably) to talk about it- not to imply that there are any problems with your relationship, I'm only suggesting it because I think a counselor may be able to help open you both up about your concerns or fears about parenthood, and be able to recommend the appropriate steps you can take together to better prepare yourselves for it.
  ::hugs:: and best of luck to both of you for speedy resolve!

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• MMaru member

  January 2017

  Is your husband open to being on medication for his condition?  I know it's not for everyone, but I have been dealing with depression since my early teens and tried many different methods of coping - therapy, sun lamps, a whole artillery of meds till we found the right one and the right dosage, etc.  To be honest, even now, after almost twenty years of dealing with it, there is no bullet-proof fix.  I will still go through periods of deep depression; the difference is that because I have been dealing with it for so long, I know that for me (mine is mostly seasonal) it goes away and things get better.

  My husband and I both struggle with depression/anxiety.  I've been off and on meds for many years now, currently off due to pregnancy and have been doing fine.  My husband, on the other hand, has been on the same anti-depressant for several years and it works great for him. There was recently an issue with his health provider that found him cut off from his medication for almost two months - I could not believe what a different man he was without it.  One of the things that worried me was how little joy he was able to find in things he normally would be excited about - like how pretty much the second we found out I was pregnant he would start touching my belly all the time, regardless of being told that he wouldn't be able to feel anything for a long time.  When he was off his meds, he wasn't doing that, and sadly the first kick he was able to feel was when he was off.  He smiled, but it was almost like he wasn't even there.  It was a frustrating time because aside from the struggle of watching someone you love so much go through that struggle, I also felt like I was on my own with everything that involved baby.

  Now that his medication is all sorted back out again, he is back to being super excited about every little movement.  I think it helped that he knows that I know what it's like, so we were able to talk openly about it any time he was feeling less than awesome.  I would do checks on him now and again to try and keep a measure of how he was doing that day. 

  What I would NOT do is expect starting a family to make everything better.  There are a lot of different treatment methods out there - I hope you and your husband can find something that works for him!

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