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Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
New Here....trying to get through this
I'm new here, in fact this is the first time I've ever posted anything on the internet. I've been searching different websites to find support after a miscarriage. And after reading so many of the posts here I thought it would be a safe place to try.
I found out a week ago today that my baby's heartbeat stopped. It was devistating because the week before we seen it's little heartbeating. I was 8 weeks along but it only measured at 7 weeks. I had to have a d&c done on wed. I never thought that I could feel so empty. I really don't have anyone to talk to because no one understands how I feel.
I'm stuggling with being hopeful and having faith right now. It doesn't seem fair to those of us that have had this happen to them. And I don't have any children yet, so this was my first pregnancy and now it's hard to have hope that I will get pregnant again and I'm scared that if I do that it'll end the same way. Is anyone else struggling with that? And how do you get through this?
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Re: New Here....trying to get through this
::hugs:: I am so sorry you have to be here. Your feelings of hope and faith deminishing are totally normal. Things will probably feel like they get worse tbefore they get better. It does get better though, that I promise you. Hees's a poem I recieved right after I had my loss. ::hugs::
I never held you in my arms.
You didn't have a name.
I didn't get to know you,
And I loved you just the same.
I never knew your laughter,
I never herd you cry
And yet, we shared my body;
together, You and I
And in those Brief, but precious days,
My little girl or boy;
You brought me so much happiness,
My cheeks felt tears of joy.
For i knew that His wisdom,
Our father up above,
Saw fit to bless our family with you;
His gift of love.
I'm so sorry for your loss, but glad that you found this board. Everyone is very supportive and know what you're going through. I'm also struggling with keeping the faith and worried about when/if I get pregnant again.
The only thing I can say is that although it may not feel like it right now, in time you will feel better. Allow yourself time to grieve, and prepare to feel a variety of emotions during this time.
:::::HUGS:::::
I'm sorry that you have to deal with this but I was exactly where you are 4 weeks ago. We found out on 12/15 our baby had stopped growing and had our d&e on 12/17 at 7 w 6 d. Any emotions you are feeling right now are totally normal and they will probably vary from day to day. I know this doesn't make it any easier now but it will get easier with time. Towards the end of last week I started to really turn a corner where the m/c is not all I think about and where I'm even optimistic about trying again soon.?
A couple of suggestions that I have are to get a prescription for some pain pills for after the d&c and maybe something to help you sleep like ambien. I went through a stage of insomnia that lasted a couple weeks and nothing else was cutting it.?
i am so sorry you're going through this. What helps me, is I cling to stories of success. I cling to those who have had pregnancy loss but now are surrounded with children. For example, my aunt had a stillborn, she has 3 daughters now, my mom's best friend had a stillborn, she has 2 daughters, another aunt had 2 mcs and has 3 kids, things like that. I cling to the hope that there IS a chance.
This is a great place but I'm sorry you have to be here
I'm so sorry. It was a week ago for me, too. I was supposed to be 11 w 1 d, and I was at the doctor for a routine appointment when we discovered the baby had stopped developing. It's really hard. Sometimes I feel fine and other times I feel completely dead inside. I'm really sorry you're having to go through this, it's awful and nobody should have to have this experience.
**HUGS** stick around, ok? Keep us posted on how you're doing.
I'm sorry for you loss...hang in there.
I read in a book, "What to expect when you're expecting" that 40% of pregnancies end in miscarriage...most dont even know it because it happens so early.
My doctor told me that it happens in the 1st trimester because there is either too much genetic information or not enough.
This is the first time I have written anywhere on here that I was pregnant and had a miscarriage. I was 10 weeks and 5 days along. I had horrible pains this past Thursday and Friday. Friday I went in for an ultrasound to find that my baby had stopped growing at 7 weeks 3 days. I had a D&C on Saturday morning. I am still sore...but understand how common m/c truly are. I am excited and ready for my hCG levels to drop so we can start TTC again!
I think it is easier for me to cope...basically I am already over it because not many people knew....his parents, my parents and my siblings...no one else knew...I didn't tell friends or co-workers. we were waiting until our 1st trimester was over.
Next time we will definitely wait until the 2nd trimester to tell anyone...I think the less people you tell the better in the beginning. Its almost as if you feel you've let down and disappointed others when you do...just my thoughts anyway.
hi there, i'm so sorry you're going through this but you've found a good place to express any feelings you may be having. this board has been so supportive - i really don't know what i would have done without these girls. the only thing i can say is that it does get better. i had a couple of days where i thought i was on the verge of some sort of breakdown, but the more people i talked to, the more i learned how truly common this all is - and everyone i talked to said they or their friends went on to have healthy pregnancies and are now happy mommies.
i was 12 weeks when i found our heartbeat stopped between 9 and 10 weeks and i had a d&c the next day. i did have our fetal tissue tested and then met with a genetic counselor who again reinforced how common m/c's are, and he also said that most often it's just a chromosome fluke - nothing could have prevented it, it was nothing i or my husband did, and more often than not the chances of a chromosome problem happening more than once to the same couple are super slim. that said, i'm hoping you're in good health otherwise so that you can move forward ok and try again with no major concerns.
*hug*
I'm so sorry sweety. ?This board is a great place to vent and get support. ?
I saw our little one's heartbeat at 6.5 weeks and it stopped 6 days later. ?I didn't find out until another week and a half later and had the d&c yet another week later. ?It was a horrible and heartbreaking experience.?
Like I've said before...cry when you feel like it, don't hold it in...don't be afraid to be a ***, its totally acceptable...talk to your husband, don't keep him locked out of how you feel...and drink. ?Have a nice big drink. ?
There is really no good way to get through it. ?I found writing helped alot. ?Crying by myself helped alot too. ?You will get through it and you will find strength. ?One day you will just realize that you haven't cried for a day or 2...then that will make you cry...but little by little it will get easier even though right now it doesnt feel like it.
If you need anything at all just ask us. ?We're all here to support eachother. ?This board never flames anyone for anything they say, so no worries here. ?I will keep you in my prayers!?
I'm so sorry you have to join us. ((HUGS)) I did not have a D&C so I can't shed much light on that. However, I can relate to how you're feeling. This was also my first pregnancy and I'm TERRIFIED of getting pregnant again because I don't want to go through this ever again. While so many people keep telling me "It'll happen again" or "You'll have a beautiful healthy baby next time", I'm still nervous about the future.
I've been getting through my m/c by keeping myself occupied. The first few days I spent with my parents and dog since DH had a big job he was working on. Then, I went back to work which helped me get my mind off of everything. The good thing that has come out of all of this is that DH and I feel much closer. Best wishes.
everyone else has already said it so well, so I'll just say ((hugs)) and I'm sorry you have to be here and I totally get everything you're saying!
oh - a book that has helped me is When Bad Things Happen to Good People. It really helps to think about faith differently.
I'm so sorry
It's so true that people who haven't experienced a m/c just can't understand what you're going through. They mean well, but unless you've gone through it, you can't understand the pain, anger and frustration. It's so true what some of the other ladies have said- there's definitely hope! I had a m/c at 10 wks and went on to have a beautiful, healthy girl. Sadly, I just had to go through another one- I never, ever thought I would have to go through it again. A number of us posted yesterday about the frustration (understatement) of being told things look good after seeing/hearing the h/b, and then the baby's gone.
But I'm focusing on the positive and the successes out there. I also want to say that having experienced a nat. m/c and a D&C, the D&C was so much easier to go through. Anna&matt (who pasted above) had some great suggestions to get me through last Friday- i.e., pains meds and help w/ sleeping. Again, so sorry. Know that you'll be supported here and you can be sad, mad, or whatever it is that you're feeling.
So sorry for your loss, it is a terrible experience but it will get better. The ladies on this board are really helpful. I have two friends who lost their first babies as well and talking to them has helped me tremendously, so don't hesitate to talk to someone from this board about anything that's on your mind (I know it's probably not the same as someone in IRL, but it helps to talk to someone that actually knows how you're feeling). I too try to focus on the positive (DH & I becoming even closer) and the fact that I truly believe God will bless with a healthy, full-term baby.