Let me start with the disclaimers: I'm thrilled to be pregnant (after dealing with infertility/IVF/loss) and I know this baby needs a few more weeks to bake. I am thankful that this is a low risk pregnancy, with no preterm labor or bedrest or the like. I really, really am.
HOWEVER, I'm coming on 32 weeks and I have to be honest, I'm just over it. I'm tired of moving slowly, tired of my lady parts feeling bruised, tired of being tired, tired of not fitting into my real clothes, tired of not having wintery dark beer, tired of bumping into shit with my mega-bump, tired of practicing bradley method squats (I JUST KEEP TIPPING OVER), tired of crying over nothing, tired of weird food aversions that I thought would be gone forever after 12 weeks, tired of my puffy feet and sausage fingers, just tired of being pregnant. It's boring and uncomfortable. I've had my fill, thanks.
And as soon as I admit that, I feel like a TERRIBLE UNGRATEFUL BAD MOMMY. Is anyone else in the same boat? I know this too shall pass, it's all worth it, etc. It would just make me feel better to know someone else is going batty right there with me.
Me: 30, mild DOR Him: 31, totes fine. IUI #1: 5 follicles, cycle cancelled :-/ IUI #2: 1 follicle, BFP, chemical IVF #1: 12 follicles, 9 eggs, 1 fresh 5dt and 4 on ice. BFP, beta #1: 326, beta #2: 841
@UnicornsPlease I cried all the way home from my doctor's appointment today because other than gaining on the high end this pregnancy is perfect. I'm having a textbook twin pregnancy, that my "body is tolerating so well" (this is clearly a medical term, as I am NOT tolerating this well) and they can't put me on disability because of it. I just want the pregnancy done with and I want to be done with work, too.
I, too, feel like there is something wrong with me for being ungrateful that things are going so well, and that I shouldn't even THINK about how I want them out now because NICU time is no joke.
I'm just tired, and achy, and have been measuring full term+ for a month now. I am sick of having to commute to work, even though I can work from home 1/2 of the time. The 2-3 days a week going to the office is wearing on me. I'm pissed off that most of my maternity shirts are too short, and that my husband isn't really doing anything to make my life easier at the moment.
I totally understand where you're coming from. Reading your signature, I can tell that this was a hard fought pregnancy for you, and I definitely don't judge you for feeling the way that you do. Sending creepy internet hugs your way.
I'm a FTM, but I have it on good authority that the minute that the baby is born there is almost instant relief and you'll basically forget all of the shitty parts of pregnancy and birth. I really hope this is true, because it is all that I have to cling to so that I don't lose my mind.
Yes. Definitely in the same boat. And it's totally ok to complain. I can't stand it when you complain about something and you have that self righteous person that just has to remind you to feel grateful and lucky "because so many women would kill to be in your shoes", and while yes, there's so much truth to that, you still feel the way that you feel. You shouldn't feel guilty for having these feelings. I'm at the point where I'm just tired of being tired and I'm very much having an imaginary drink at your pity party.
sooooo done with this!!! honestly i always thought i would want 4 kids if it were more affordable but now I am so glad this is my second and last pregnancy. no more weight gain, stretch marks, vagina smashing, RLP, sore back, fat hands, and god awful sleep. i too feel guilty because i really am so grateful to be pregnant and to be adding to our family but this go around has been much more uncomfortable and miserable for me. what's funny (using term loosely) is that my last pregnancy i bled the entire time and was on pelvic rest and was that perky, life is wonderful pregnant lady everyone hates.
i try to look at it this way: if you take any person and persistently subject them to pain, sleep deprivation and mind games for months on end and they DONT have a negative reaction, then you should worry!! poke the bear enough times and it gets pissed off..
and speaking as a STM I promise it's scary how quickly you forget about how much this sucks and want to do it again. At least in my experience
Your post made me ugly laugh- right here with you too. Thrilled to be pregnant and to soon have a new life to nourish but its getting old!!!! I miss being active mostly. I just feel like I swallowed a planet all the time
+1 for over it. I feel a little guilty about it sometimes too, but at this point, with all the uncomfortable-ness, I don't know how people can't be over it.
Alex married to M since 6.13.09 T - 3.3.14 A - 2.24.17
That's exactly what forums like this are great for, mama! Rant away! We all are in the same boat and fully understand the : I know I'm blessed, I know I should be greatful, but I really just regret this/wish this were over/want to throw myself a pity party feels!
I am so with you. I have had an easy, fun pregnancy up until now and have really enjoyed it. But my shower was Saturday and now it's like there's nothing to look forward to and I'm starting to get uncomfortable and today at work I had my first moment of wanting her to just get out!
I took an r&r day from work today because I'm getting tired of it too! Everything has been dandy until this week (week 32) when I exploded with emotions and panic
I am way more than over it. I tell myself every day that things could be worse and I should count myself lucky, but the lack of wine, weekly projesterone injections, the gestational diabetes, sticking my fingers 4x per day, lack of wine, counting every carb I eat, RLP, worrying about the number of baby movements, worrying about baby's positioning, weekly prenatal appointments, lack of wine. #overit
Bless you @UnicornsPlease I desperately needed to read this and know I wasn't alone in these thoughts. I cried for an hour last week because I hate pregnancy so much and I feel so overwhelmingly guilty for hating it. I swear I am so happy for this rainbow baby, but the process to get there has been hell and my expectations for pregnancy were very happy and glowy. Ha. Yea right.
You are not alone. I'm already scheduled for a c-section at 39 wks but still hoping she comes naturally before then. This has been my easiest pregnancy and I'm still over it.
Count me in on the "over it" club. I, too, am beyond-the-moon thankful for my rainbow baby, but... he's strong, and kicks my ribs & cervix too much for comfort--and SOMEHOW is still going to grow for a few more weeks?! I miss the days when putting on my shoes was not a huge chore. I guess we're all reaching the part when our body tricks our mind into being excited about labor (an otherwise terrifying concept).
*TW* - BFP & MC in March 2016. BFP in June 2016; EDD March 2017. Samuel born February 2017!
@UnicornsPlease no disclaimers needed!! We all understand the love for the baby while at the same time being miserable actually growing the kid. Perfect place to rant about the bad parts of pregnancy
Uh, yes. After my night of losing a good share of mucous plug, then learning the joys of braxton hicks.... I'm so over it. But at the same time want this little human to stay in there for four more weeks
@UnicornsPlease girl I totally feel you. After spending the last 2 nights in the hospital to stop contractions, I. Am. Miserable. After struggling with infertility I totally get the guilt, but you know what? I'm not running into monitoring hours at my fertility clinic to shout this out, I'm shouting it to you ladies. Just because I'm grateful to be pregnant and understand it's safer for the twins to keep cooking a little longer doesn't mean I have to enjoy it. I am soooo uncomfortable and I want my body back. My 'latest date they'll let me go' has been pushed up, and my estimated delivery (how long they think they'll go) has been pushed up even further, and after talking to the NICU team about what it means for the babies I really just don't feel guilty about being ok with that.
Same here. I am really excited to be starting our family, but I sure do miss things like not having to rock myself out of bed. I miss being able to use step stools without suddenly realizing that my center of balance is different than it has been for the last 30+ years. Every time I drive my husband's car instead of mine, I feel like an utter whale because of the way I have to adjust the seat and try to wriggle in and out of the driver's seat. I've never been a huge drinker but now that I CAN'T drink, I miss wine so, so much - especially on our 1 year wedding anniversary when we'd planned to open a bottle of wine that we'd been saving since our honeymoon, and didn't because of the baby. I miss sleeping on my stomach and not throwing up after almost every meal. I miss breathing like a normal person and not crying when my husband tells me we can't go to CatCon. Pregnancy sucks and it's okay to admit it.
To add to your list I am tired of my 17mon old being so needy bc I think she knows something is up...like life is about to change. I'm tired of the inability to sleep. Im tired of the horrible migraines. I'm tired of feeling fat. I'm tired and SOOOO apologetic for my mood swings and anxiety. (Like I've been thru this...why am I so panicky?)
I fricken hate be pregnant. I have been pregnant or breast feeding for the last 3 years. (My son is 15 months) I cannot wait to be done. I have already given my ob my mirena to put in at my 6 week post partum appointment. I am in need of a break. I want my body back, i want to have unawkward sex with my husband, where I'm not leaking breast milk on him or needing him to use a fucking winch to roll me over. I want delicious beer in copious amounts. But man, when you hold your new born in your arms and you don't feel those swisher and kicks in your tummy...man are you gunna miss it. Haha
I am so with all of you. It's like as soon as 32 weeks hit I was done. I feel like my body is no longer my own, it's just a vessel for baby. I miss wine and cold cuts and bending over and comfortable sleep! Just like everyone else, I'm still beyond grateful for this baby, but I want my body back!
Im not one who handles pregnancy well but I don't think I do that horribly either. Third time around and I agree with above, around 32 weeks I just hit a breaking point. I feel bruised in the crotch too, I want hot normal sex again too, I want my clothes to freaking fit too, I feel so gross and fat constantly, I cannot breathe and I cannot sleep.
I KNOW for a fact that it's a lot more exhausting having them out and home but it's also much better when you get to hold them in your arms and you can breathe at the same time!
Im not one who handles pregnancy well but I don't think I do that horribly either. Third time around and I agree with above, around 32 weeks I just hit a breaking point. I feel bruised in the crotch too, I want hot normal sex again too, I want my clothes to freaking fit too, I feel so gross and fat constantly, I cannot breathe and I cannot sleep.
I KNOW for a fact that it's a lot more exhausting having them out and home but it's also much better when you get to hold them in your arms and you can breathe at the same time!
^All of this! I hit that point at like 29 weeks though lol All of a sudden it felt like baby was smooshed up under my rib cage and I couldn't move or breathe anymore
Definitely feel you. Since ~30 or so weeks I've just been getting less and less into it.
BUT, I am more & more into the idea of actually meeting this baby, which is a new thing. I totally agree that being pregnant is the only thing that makes labor seem like a cool, almost *exciting* idea. I'm also a FTM so I have no idea of the shitstorm that is about to hit my lovely, quiet home!!!
Im 32 weeks on Friday and today was really the first day where I just couldn't handle it.. breathing.. standing.. sitting.. it's all hard. I'm constantly full and if I lean the wrong way I get spit up in my mouth, ugh! I just can't wait to have baby here, happy and healthy.
I walked in the door after work today and SO asked how I was feeling and my grumpy response was... "Huge, I feel huge and crappy."
Thanks to each and every one of you for your responses. It's been a tough couple of days--mentally, physically, emotionally--and seeing that other people are in the same boat has been a blessing.
@direwolfmini THANK YOU for the creepy internet hugs.
@kiyamurph "you still feel the way that you feel" is so basic, but so true. It just doesn't do any good to beat yourself up about how you honestly feel.
@gators&bosox I can't wait to have him and forget all about the nuisances of pregnancy. Hearing that it's just a matter of time cheered me up.
@silverbulletband Missing being active is one of the biggest things for me, too! The other day I was walking on my treadmill (at a whopping 2.5 mph) and a song I used to have on my running playlist came on. I wanted to break into a sprint SO BADLY, but I can only imagine the world of pain I would have caused myself. I was able to hit the gym (light weights, mostly), keep up in prenatal yoga, and do prenatal pilates at home until about 30 weeks, but I feel like I'm hitting the outer limits now. Plus I keep grunting and farting in yoga, and I'm afraid I'm scaring the girls in their second trimester ;-)
@kjd291 That cat pic is glorious and I want it on a tee shirt.
@kerrym86 @gracie4400 Must be something about 32 weeks. I've been a WRECK. Yesterday (work from home day) I managed to forget my work laptop at a restaurant and not realize it until 6 hours later, at which point I just burst into hysterics. (The laptop was recovered safe and sound about an hour after that).
@JustAnotherUsername16 Ohh, I've been there. The other day I watched "A Baby Story" on TLC (mistake #1) and there was this couple who was all glowy and PREGNANCY IS MAGICAL who had gotten pregnant their FIRST MONTH TRYING and they were surrounded by family and friends and blah blah blah. It made me ugly cry and want to throw things. PM me if you want to trade war stories, it sounds like we may have similar pregnancy tales.
@anonellis True story about ranting to the right crowd. I actually wish I would go back to my clinic and promise each and every woman in there that it will happen! Eventually it will happen! ...Which, you know, no one can promise, and I wouldn't have believed it then anyway. But it's an interesting position to be in, "on the other side" as it were.
Me: 30, mild DOR Him: 31, totes fine. IUI #1: 5 follicles, cycle cancelled :-/ IUI #2: 1 follicle, BFP, chemical IVF #1: 12 follicles, 9 eggs, 1 fresh 5dt and 4 on ice. BFP, beta #1: 326, beta #2: 841
@Ivorytower2 I second that. 7 & 1/2 months? No, 7 & 1/2 years. I found a few "skinny" clothing items in the bottom of a drawer and was holding it up thinking whose tops are these? Oh wait! Theses are mine from a few years ago. Oh wait, I wore this on the first day of school in September..........
Re: Anyone else kinda over it?
I cried all the way home from my doctor's appointment today because other than gaining on the high end this pregnancy is perfect. I'm having a textbook twin pregnancy, that my "body is tolerating so well" (this is clearly a medical term, as I am NOT tolerating this well) and they can't put me on disability because of it. I just want the pregnancy done with and I want to be done with work, too.
I, too, feel like there is something wrong with me for being ungrateful that things are going so well, and that I shouldn't even THINK about how I want them out now because NICU time is no joke.
I'm just tired, and achy, and have been measuring full term+ for a month now. I am sick of having to commute to work, even though I can work from home 1/2 of the time. The 2-3 days a week going to the office is wearing on me. I'm pissed off that most of my maternity shirts are too short, and that my husband isn't really doing anything to make my life easier at the moment.
I totally understand where you're coming from. Reading your signature, I can tell that this was a hard fought pregnancy for you, and I definitely don't judge you for feeling the way that you do. Sending creepy internet hugs your way.
I'm a FTM, but I have it on good authority that the minute that the baby is born there is almost instant relief and you'll basically forget all of the shitty parts of pregnancy and birth. I really hope this is true, because it is all that I have to cling to so that I don't lose my mind.
i try to look at it this way: if you take any person and persistently subject them to pain, sleep deprivation and mind games for months on end and they DONT have a negative reaction, then you should worry!! poke the bear enough times and it gets pissed off..
and speaking as a STM I promise it's scary how quickly you forget about how much this sucks and want to do it again. At least in my experience
Your post made me ugly laugh- right here with you too. Thrilled to be pregnant and to soon have a new life to nourish but its getting old!!!! I miss being active mostly. I just feel like I swallowed a planet all the time
married to M since 6.13.09
T - 3.3.14
A - 2.24.17
That's exactly what forums like this are great for, mama! Rant away! We all are in the same boat and fully understand the : I know I'm blessed, I know I should be greatful, but I really just regret this/wish this were over/want to throw myself a pity party feels!
Me 28 DH 28 Married 2012
TTC #1 since March 2015
Metformin + Femara + Gonal F + Trigger = BFP 6/24/16
EDD 3/3/17
Found out it's a girl! 9/23/16
Everything has been dandy until this week (week 32) when I exploded with emotions and panic
I, too, am beyond-the-moon thankful for my rainbow baby, but... he's strong, and kicks my ribs & cervix too much for comfort--and SOMEHOW is still going to grow for a few more weeks?! I miss the days when putting on my shoes was not a huge chore. I guess we're all reaching the part when our body tricks our mind into being excited about labor (an otherwise terrifying concept).
*TW* - BFP & MC in March 2016.
BFP in June 2016; EDD March 2017.
Samuel born February 2017!
I just can't even complain. I would endure far worse & for much longer. I guess that makes me weird.
I don't think you guys are asshats or anything for feeling this way, but I don't have the same perspective.
Me: 39 DH: 40
Married: 12/6/2014
BFP#2: 10/28/15 MC: 11/24/15
BFP#3: 3/20/16 MC: 4/26/16
BFP#4: 7/15/16 DD: 3/18/17
BFP#5: 5/1/18 EDD: 1/12/19
Im 100% with you and this is my second.
To add to your list I am tired of my 17mon old being so needy bc I think she knows something is up...like life is about to change. I'm tired of the inability to sleep. Im tired of the horrible migraines. I'm tired of feeling fat. I'm tired and SOOOO apologetic for my mood swings and anxiety. (Like I've been thru this...why am I so panicky?)
I KNOW for a fact that it's a lot more exhausting having them out and home but it's also much better when you get to hold them in your arms and you can breathe at the same time!
Me: 26 Hubs: 28
Married: 6/6/15
Baby Girl: 3/22/2017
BUT, I am more & more into the idea of actually meeting this baby, which is a new thing. I totally agree that being pregnant is the only thing that makes labor seem like a cool, almost *exciting* idea. I'm also a FTM so I have no idea of the shitstorm that is about to hit my lovely, quiet home!!!
I walked in the door after work today and SO asked how I was feeling and my grumpy response was... "Huge, I feel huge and crappy."
Me: 26 Hubs: 28
Married: 6/6/15
Baby Girl: 3/22/2017
@direwolfmini THANK YOU for the creepy internet hugs.
@kiyamurph "you still feel the way that you feel" is so basic, but so true. It just doesn't do any good to beat yourself up about how you honestly feel.
@gators&bosox I can't wait to have him and forget all about the nuisances of pregnancy. Hearing that it's just a matter of time cheered me up.
@silverbulletband Missing being active is one of the biggest things for me, too! The other day I was walking on my treadmill (at a whopping 2.5 mph) and a song I used to have on my running playlist came on. I wanted to break into a sprint SO BADLY, but I can only imagine the world of pain I would have caused myself. I was able to hit the gym (light weights, mostly), keep up in prenatal yoga, and do prenatal pilates at home until about 30 weeks, but I feel like I'm hitting the outer limits now. Plus I keep grunting and farting in yoga, and I'm afraid I'm scaring the girls in their second trimester ;-)
@kjd291 That cat pic is glorious and I want it on a tee shirt.
@kerrym86
@gracie4400
Must be something about 32 weeks. I've been a WRECK. Yesterday (work from home day) I managed to forget my work laptop at a restaurant and not realize it until 6 hours later, at which point I just burst into hysterics. (The laptop was recovered safe and sound about an hour after that).
@JustAnotherUsername16 Ohh, I've been there. The other day I watched "A Baby Story" on TLC (mistake #1) and there was this couple who was all glowy and PREGNANCY IS MAGICAL who had gotten pregnant their FIRST MONTH TRYING and they were surrounded by family and friends and blah blah blah. It made me ugly cry and want to throw things. PM me if you want to trade war stories, it sounds like we may have similar pregnancy tales.
@anonellis True story about ranting to the right crowd. I actually wish I would go back to my clinic and promise each and every woman in there that it will happen! Eventually it will happen! ...Which, you know, no one can promise, and I wouldn't have believed it then anyway. But it's an interesting position to be in, "on the other side" as it were.
Him: 31, totes fine.
IUI #1: 5 follicles, cycle cancelled :-/
IUI #2: 1 follicle, BFP, chemical
IVF #1: 12 follicles, 9 eggs, 1 fresh 5dt and 4 on ice. BFP, beta #1: 326, beta #2: 841