Family Rant

afidalgo12 · January 2017

My inlaws are driving me nuts, and they don't even know why yet....I'm 6 weeks as of yesterday and both my MIL and FIL (they're divorced) are turning 70 this year and want to do Family Vacations to celebrate. FIL wants to go to Miami (zika!), and MIL insists that we join her in Cape Cod (!) Labor Day weekend (I'm due with LO#2 two weeks later, but will likely have my c-section around that time). My husband and I are trying to gently decline the invitations because we aren't yet ready to share our news (I haven't even seen my OB yet)... but they are being so pushy.

I know, this is probably an annoying post - poor me, too many vacations and have to say no - but its just irking me that we can't just say "no" and be done...and honestly they'd still be pushy if they knew I was preggo. If you need me I'll be eating all the chocolate.

sugarpixxie2 · January 2017

Aww. Just make your husband deal with it lol tell him you don't want to hear a word about it!

Sugargirl1019 · January 2017

Just say yes roll your eyes and don't shell out any money. Then you can break the news later that you're due right then.

oakfam510 · January 2017

That's really annoying. My parents are also divorced and I could totally see them being like that, pushy af lol. Is it possible to use work travel as an excuse for at least one of them?

mrs_tacos · January 2017

I'm really sorry you're dealing with difficult in-laws. You tell them whatever you guys agree on, and if they're difficult, your DH should just put his foot down. They need to respect your boundaries as an individual family unit, no explanation needed.

ColoradoHiker · January 2017

I'm with @Sugargirl1019. If you have to absolutely give an answer, say yes, but otherwise don't do anything until you're ready to let them know about the baby. Then you can tell one that you're not going due to Zika virus concerns, and the other is way too close to due date for you to travel. Problem solved!

SuperKristy85 · January 2017

Could you just tell them you don't think the vacations are in your budget this year?

jessieR358 · January 2017

Miami was declared Zika free if that makes you feel any better! But we have halted all tropical vacations until we're done having kids.

afidalgo12 · January 2017

Thanks for all the support. The tricky part is that both parents would finance our trip - which is extremely generous - but its just not going to work for us. I saw my doctor for my first visit and he basically said "you're not going to Florida - let me know if you need a doctor's note to get out of trouble with your FIL". And then he said if I do a repeat C-section I am not allowed to go to the Cape during the time period my MIL wants to travel...

Luckily my husband is on the same page - in fact, with regard to Florida, we knew we'd be TTC this year so we had a conversation a WHILE back saying that we wouldn't be traveling to any Zika areas until we're done having kids (planning on tubal ligation after this pregnancy) so that shouldn't come as a surprise... we did our due diligence!

ashley2824 · January 2017

Sucky situation to be in. Like others said I would just say yes for now and then tell them later you can't make it, your doctors dont want you traveling at that time (which my Dr said most airlines won't let you fly after 30/32 weeks).

Similar situation. My H's step brother is getting married in October in Canada. Our parents already know. But I told them I won't be able to come because the baby will be too young to travel and they understand. Things change with babies whether they're in your belly or on the outside, and others need to understand that.

mercury94 · January 2017

My mom tried to get us to go with her to visit my brother and his kids in Hawaii for a week or so in September. This was before I was PG, but we were diligently TTC. I told her that I couldn't make plans that far in advance and then reminded her that I only have so many vacation days at work. That seemed to do it.

msashley2010-2 · January 2017

Oh man, I didn't even think about Zika. (Florida resident here!!) Luckily it's pretty cold right now so there's not an abundance of skeeto bugs. But I should definitely be stocking up on the bug spray!

I think that DH should be the one to break the news to them. At the end of the day if you don't want to go you shouldn't have to gonand have good reason for it. They shouldn't push you all to go when you don't want to.

Kimby883 · January 2017

Maybe suggest throwing a party for them. One in June and maybe one in August? It would probably cost the same amount as a trip but you could make it a huge deal and get them excited about a party. And you can just have it somewhere so someone else does all the work and you just enjoy the party! I am very nervous about Zika here and there has never been a case in Louisiana. I don't want to be the first case.

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