MC- how long do I have to wait? — The Bump
TTC After a Loss

MC- how long do I have to wait?

I had a MC at 9 weeks. I am currently still bleeding, but the MC happened on Monday. :-(
My question is, is it absolutely necessary to wait 1 cycle to TTC? 
If I don't conceive this next month (February), I'm going to have to wait more than a year to try again, and I don't want to wait. 
I need some advice. Thanks ladies.

Re: MC- how long do I have to wait?

  • It seems like it's different for everyone. Have you talked to your Dr about it? I know some of the women on here have started ttc on their first cycle after mc, so it is doable. Sorry for your loss, good luck!


  • RiverSong15RiverSong15 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited January 2017
    I'm so sorry for your loss. Your doctor is the best person to answer this question, unfortunately. I'd recommend calling them and explaining your situation. There are a ton of different reasons why some women are told to wait and others aren't - some are medically necessary while some are just a doctor's preference. If you call them and explain that you'd need to wait over a year if you sit out a cycle, they may give you the all-clear. Often, it's for dating purposes only and to give your body a chance to regulate. Or to give your lining a chance to build back up. But some women have been told they didn't need to to wait. Others have been benched for a month or more for sound medical reasons. So I'd check in with your doctor. 

    Beyond that, try to keep in mind that even if you do try in February, you only have about a 20% chance in any given month that you will get pregnant. So you may still end up waiting a year. Even if you conceived quickly before, it doesn't mean you will this time. I have had two losses, both of which were conceived the first cycles we tried. I'm now on cycle 3 of trying a third time. I just know how hard it can be to see a BFN with high expectations, so that's why I mention it. Also, another thing to keep in mind is that your cycle may or may not return to normal right away. If you do decide to TTC this cycle, I'd recommend charting (checking CM, OPKs, temping) to maximize your chances, as bodies can do really weird things the first cycle after a MC.
    justsuzie
  • NYTino24NYTino24 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited January 2017
    My doc recommended waiting at least one cycle for dating and to allow lining to build up, but I also passed almost everything quickly since I started bleeding 4 days before I actually MC at 7w6d. Keep in mind that you may get a period without ovulating (anovulatory cycle). I too suggest temping and checking CP/CM. Keep in mind that you may still turn OPKs and HPT positive if you still have HCG in your system and the hormones may make your temps rocky, so much of it may be unreliable anyway. We only have until April since DH is traveling to a Zika area and I also am not sure what the right thing to do is. Unfortunately my body is in charge, not me.
    It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*


    Me: 35 DH 33     Married 7/16
    TTC  9/2016     BFP 12/9/16    EDD 7/21/17    MC 1/8/16 at 8 weeks
    TTC  2/2017  BFP 3/6/17   EDD 11/20/17   vanishing twin at 8 weeks   DS born 11/25/17
  • jen83mnjen83mn member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited January 2017
    I had an early miscarriage (at 4 weeks 3 days) last week and my doctor told me to wait at least one cycle before trying to conceive again. I didn't ask the reasons as we don't plan on trying until June for other reasons. I stopped bleeding yesterday and my HCG was down to 0 as of yesterday (it only got to 57 at its highest so I didn't have far to go), but I am still planning to wait 2 weeks from today to have sex, only because I don't want to risk infection if the cervix isn't fully closed up yet.

    I have also heard both - you can start trying right away or wait one cycle before trying. I have read about people getting pregnant immediately the next cycle and having a healthy pregnancy, but I've also heard of people getting pregnant right away the next cycle and having another miscarriage. The second scenario scares me and is one reason we won't be trying right away, even if we wanted to ... this has hit me hard emotionally, and I wouldn't be able to handle it if it happened again so soon. I need some time to heal.

    Can I ask why you'd have to wait a year to try again, or is that personal?
  • We decided not to prevent during the first cycle after my D&C with my OB's blessing. Unfortunately, we got a BFN during that cycle, so we're moving on to actively trying this month. We also have a sense of urgency as my husband will be deploying later this year, so we'll have a long wait if I'm not pregnant before he leaves. I wish you the best as you make this decision. I know it's tough.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Eknapp87
  • I decided to wait 6 months before trying again since I fell pregnant again immediately after my first loss and then had another loss. I figured it would be best for my body to take time to heal. I havent had AF since July as a result. Everyone is different and it's best to do what you feel is right. 
  • I had a CP at 5 weeks and my OB said we could start again right away.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Thank you all for your advice. My reason for having to wait seems so petty, but my best friend is getting married in December, in Mexico. It's really important for me to be there. But with Zika down there, I'm nervous to go pregnant, or return home and having to wait because of the risk. 
    Ita just a sucky situation. 
    I have an appointment with my doctor on Monday, so I will discuss with him what he best recommends for me. I'm really hoping February brings me a BFP :blush: My bleeding has stopped, so I am feeling hopeful. 
    NYTino24
  • vlagrl29 said:
    I had a CP at 5 weeks and my OB said we could start again right away.
    What is a CP, if you don't mind answering. 
  • @Eknapp87 - It's a chemical pregnancy - a very early miscarriage.  My embryo or whatever it would be called never attached to my uterus.  I had 3 days of thicker blood come out but never filled a pad.  I also had no cramping.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • @eknapp87 we have a wedding in Mexico in April. I didn't book because I was pregnant and was already had to TTA after our honeymoon. DH was set on going since he's in it, but we will reevaluate after I get AF twice. It is making me really anxious because it gives us MAYBE one shot before he goes. CDC recommendations are to not have unprotected sex at all (without a condom) for 8 weeks post exposure for women and 6 months for men.  :s
    It's funny how it's the little things in life that mean the most...not where you live, or what you drive, or the price tag on your clothes... There's no dollar sign on a piece of mind, this I've come to know! *ZBB*


    Me: 35 DH 33     Married 7/16
    TTC  9/2016     BFP 12/9/16    EDD 7/21/17    MC 1/8/16 at 8 weeks
    TTC  2/2017  BFP 3/6/17   EDD 11/20/17   vanishing twin at 8 weeks   DS born 11/25/17
  • Eknapp87: Surprisingly, each doctor is very different with advice. I had a CP at 4 weeks, 4 days last month. My doctor recommended waiting 3 cycles to "build up a uterine lining." 

    I didn't listen...we actively tried the next cycle. Got a BFN and a 2 day spotty period...so I likely do have a thin uterine lining. But, we are actively trying this month and I just O'd on Wednesday. I tried some dietary changes to see if that helps build up my lining...but who knows. Only time will tell.

    Regarding your friend's wedding situation. You need to do what is right for you, but the truth is, there is always something that could make you put your life on hold (i.e. ttc). So planning around other people's life events are really tricky. As long as you are ok with delaying and accepting whatever outcome that leads to, it makes sense.
    **TW: Loss Mentioned**
    Me: 29 | DH: 31
    Dating: August 2003  | Married: August 2013
    TTC #1: Since October 2016 | BFP #1: 12/4/16  CP: 12/6/16
    BFP #2: 3/14/17  EDD: 11/23/17 Born: 11/22/17
    Eknapp87
  • Thanks. She already is aware of what's going on, and understands the situation. She's given me her blessing to do whatever feels right for my family. But it's hard when she was there for me, and I won't be able to do the same.
    Ugh, life is just not fair. When I'm done bleeding (which picked up again today) I'm going to start tracking and see if I O before AF comes (is that possible?) if I do, I am going for it.


    Mommyamp
  • @Eknapp87 def possible. I oed before af came. It was confirmed with temping. Didn't do opk since I thought I may still turn them with hcg still in my system 
    ***TW***
    Me: 36  DH:35
    Married: 7/10/2016
    TTC#1 - May 2016
    BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016  
    BFP 5/5/2017  - CP
    IVF #1 - June 2017  - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo.  7/9 Beta #1 - 161 
    <3 Adam <3 Born on 3/18/18




     
    Eknapp87
  • @Eknapp87  It's hard to think about missing your bf wedding but she said she would understand.  And I am sure you will feel way worse about not going than she would if you couldn't go because you were pg or trying to get pg.  Wedding nights go by so fast for the bride so although you will be missed she will still have a wonderful time.

    Mommyampjen83mn
  • Eknapp87Eknapp87 member
    100 Love Its Second Anniversary 10 Comments Name Dropper
    edited January 2017
    Let's hope I can get pg in February!!! 
    ::wishful thinking::
    SP128NYTino24
  • MommyampMommyamp member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper Photogenic
    edited January 2017
    I've been lurking here because TB hadn't given me permission to post. Anyway. I'm on the tail end of my second mc. I was 5 weeks along this time. I plan on trying again right away. I just started temping again today so we'll see how or goes. Fx for both of us!
    Eknapp87NYTino24
  • Thanks! Last pg I used opks but now I'm worried they won't be accurate. I've never tracked my temps so I'll have to look into it, I don't know how it works!
  • Mommyamp said:
    I've been lurking here because TB hadn't given me permission to post. Anyway. I'm on the tail end of my second mc. I was 5 weeks along this time. I plan on trying again right away. I just started temping again today so we'll see how or goes. Fx for both of us!
    Are you waiting one cycle or just starting right away?
  • @Eknapp87 Tracking temps is surprisingly easy. It won't give you a warning for O (like OPKs), but is the only way to confirm O (other than an ultrasound).

    I bought a basal body thermometer off Amazon for $7 (it needs to go to the tenth degree) and downloaded FF. Just temp every morning when you wake up (at the same time daily) and enter it into FF. It does the rest of the work for you. 
    **TW: Loss Mentioned**
    Me: 29 | DH: 31
    Dating: August 2003  | Married: August 2013
    TTC #1: Since October 2016 | BFP #1: 12/4/16  CP: 12/6/16
    BFP #2: 3/14/17  EDD: 11/23/17 Born: 11/22/17
    laeberge3
  • @Eknapp87 Tracking temps is surprisingly easy. It won't give you a warning for O (like OPKs), but is the only way to confirm O (other than an ultrasound).

    I bought a basal body thermometer off Amazon for $7 (it needs to go to the tenth degree) and downloaded FF. Just temp every morning when you wake up (at the same time daily) and enter it into FF. It does the rest of the work for you. 
    Thanks!! What's FF?? I'm new to this haha. 
  • Nevermind! Just found it in the list of acronyms 
  • @Eknapp87 Oh sorry, we use FF around here to refer to Fertility Friend so much that I forget that I didn't even know what it was a few months ago.

    I have tried a few other apps, but FF seems to be the best option and gives cross hairs when O is confirmed, which is nice.
    **TW: Loss Mentioned**
    Me: 29 | DH: 31
    Dating: August 2003  | Married: August 2013
    TTC #1: Since October 2016 | BFP #1: 12/4/16  CP: 12/6/16
    BFP #2: 3/14/17  EDD: 11/23/17 Born: 11/22/17
    Eknapp87
  • Thanks- just downloaded it! 
  • jen83mnjen83mn member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited January 2017
    @Eknapp87

    Also, just a tip ... usually temping vaginally vs by mouth will give you more accurate results, especially if you're a mouth breather. Sounds weird at first, but it's easy ... just insert the thermometer into your vagina right away in the morning when you wake up, before getting out of bed. You'll want to make sure you've stayed in bed a good 2.5-3 hours before temping (without getting out of bed to pee or whatever) to get the most accurate temps.

    Also, you'll want to temp at the same time every day (even on weekends) for the most accurate results. I temp at the time I wake up in the morning for work, then set my alarm for the same time on weekends, wake up to temp, then go back to sleep.

    This is the thermometer I've used for the past few years: https://www.amazon.com/Easy-Home-Thermometer-Precision-Batteries/dp/B01LZ25JF9/ref=zg_bs_16023351_6

    I know a lot of people also use the Mabis. I like the one I use because it lights up so I can easily read it when temping in the dark in the morning ... it also has temp recall/history, so if I fall asleep with it in and don't hear the beep when it's done (yes, it happens!), then I can just push the recall button to see the temp.

    Fertility Friend is a great app ... Just keep tracking your temps daily and it will help pinpoint when you ovulated. While it isn't great for predicting when you will ovulate (which OPKs are for), it is great once you have a few month's history so you generally know what time of the month you tend to ovulate. The "average" day that is normally assumed is 14 in a 28-day cycle; however, I have a 29-32 day cycle, and always ovulate a few days later closer to day 17-19, so that's always helpful to know! You're most fertile the 3 days before you ovulate, the day you ovulate, and the day after.

    So sorry for your loss ... I just miscarried last week, so I know the pain when it's so fresh. :(

    If you have any other questions, feel free to private message me ... I'd love to help you out :)
    MommyampEknapp87SP128
  • Eknapp87 said:
    Thanks! Last pg I used opks but now I'm worried they won't be accurate. I've never tracked my temps so I'll have to look into it, I don't know how it works!


    Fertility friend is awesome. It has an entire lesson set to so of explain it all. I got my bbt thermometer at target but it doesn't have a recall setting which I don't like. As a pp said, vaginal temping is more accurate. Weird at first but now it's second nature. 

    As for your other question: we are planning on trying right away. DH works nights so our times are limited. Bd options don't always line up with O so we will see how this month turns out. Mon-thurs are out for us due to work so that makes a lot of moths really hard to time right. :/ I just turned 35 this month as well so we don't want to waste time.
  • Thanks for your help. I was tracking my ovulation before the MC, so I know when I O. I'm basically putting all my marbles in my basket for next month. And if it doesn't happen, I'll have to wait until next December.... :neutral:
    NYTino24jen83mn
  • So sorry for your loss!  :/ I MC a few weeks back at 6W5D and my doctor said I do not have to wait for AF before trying again, just until my HCG goes down to non pregnancy levels. I've been going in biweekly for blood work. Hopefully your body and hormones go back to pre pregnancy quickly and you get the all clear from your doctor for TTC next month. FX for you <3
    Eknapp87
  • Thanks @toniherdt
    Im praying! 
    merrypotter
  • Mommyamp: Sorry to hear about the challenging work schedule and TTC conflict.

    Does your DH have a lunch break? Ever considered a "quickie" during that time? As odd as it sounds, I have had friends do it to make TTC work with their schedule :)
    **TW: Loss Mentioned**
    Me: 29 | DH: 31
    Dating: August 2003  | Married: August 2013
    TTC #1: Since October 2016 | BFP #1: 12/4/16  CP: 12/6/16
    BFP #2: 3/14/17  EDD: 11/23/17 Born: 11/22/17
    NYTino24
  • @Eknapp87: The wedding is in mexico in December? If so, won't you have to wait another 4-6 months after returning if Zika is the concern?

    If so, I would seriously have to think really hard about delaying TTC for that long. Personally, I don't think I could do it.
    **TW: Loss Mentioned**
    Me: 29 | DH: 31
    Dating: August 2003  | Married: August 2013
    TTC #1: Since October 2016 | BFP #1: 12/4/16  CP: 12/6/16
    BFP #2: 3/14/17  EDD: 11/23/17 Born: 11/22/17
    NYTino24
  • @Eknapp87: The wedding is in mexico in December? If so, won't you have to wait another 4-6 months after returning if Zika is the concern?

    If so, I would seriously have to think really hard about delaying TTC for that long. Personally, I don't think I could do it.
    Yes. If I waited, I would have doctor test us for Zika when we return, then make decisions from there. 
    I dont want to do it. I think that's another huge reason this MC is bringing me down. Not only is my partner and I heartbroken, my Bf is heartbroken I might not be at her wedding.
    Im just letting everyone down no matter what. 
  • @dragonfly87 the drive is too far away for him to make it here, bd, and back over lunch. :( I can't go to him because LO is in bed by the time he has "lunch". 
    NYTino24
  • @eknapp02 hugs! It's not your fault. Both your so and your bf know that. I know it sucks but just hang in there. 
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