Joining you ladies

bookworm40 · January 2017

Like all of you, I never thought I would be posting here. After 2.5 years of trying I finally got my BFP right before thanksgiving. Because I was working with an RE I was monitored closely and at 6 weeks pregnant I was told that sorry this was not a viable pregnancy as they could not find a heartbeat. They told me to come back in a week and they would see if anything more formed. I went back 5 days later and sure enough there was a heartbeat. My joy was short lived. I went back for my last scan to be released to my OBGYN on 1/4 which would have put me at 9 weeks. I was told that the baby had no heartbeat and to prepare for a miscarriage. He said the baby stopped growing at what looked like 7 weeks.

I was to go back this morning if nothing happened naturally and this morning when I woke up I started to bleed. Right now it's very light brown bleeding. I'm nervous for what's coming. Has anyone who has gone through a natural miscarriage let me know how long it took from the time they started bleeding until it passed. I am afraid to go to work tomorrow.

i know that I didn't cause this although I do wonder if the amount of stress I've been under lately (husband and I separated right after thanksgiving long drawn out story) had some affect on it all.

Thanks for listening and I am sorry for all of your losses but at least we have each other.

splashmountain · January 2017

@Cupcakegal930 I'm sorry for your loss and no matter what stress you're under, this is not your fault.

I had a natural mc at 9w2d on Christmas. Unlike you, I didn't know it was coming, my last scan showed a healthy baby. I woke up with some spotting. I put on a pad and went about my morning, then when I squatted down to help my my son open a present, I felt a big gush and decided to head to the ER.

From the time I woke up to the time they discharged me from the ER was about 6 hours. I passed some more after getting home and the last of it a few days later, but the worst of it was during that first day.

What happened for me, May not be what happens for you, but that was my experience. I hope that everything passes quickly and without much pain.

Hugs to you and again, I'm sorry for your loss.

rklinge0 · January 2017

So sorry for your loss.
I had brown spotting the whole week before and baby still had a heartbeat, just measured behind.
But when I started bleeding red it took from Monday till I passed the sac on that Wednesday. I think every woman is different though.

Bumblebeau · January 2017

I'm so sorry for your loss - these words rarely bring comfort, but perhaps knowing that someone is familiar with your pain & wishes you well will bring some comfort. I also learned of the loss of my first pregnancy in November of 2015 at the nuchal translucency screening, and it feels so close that I absurdly only just realized that it happened a year ago as I'm writing this.

I think there are varied opinions regarding stress, but I've read that the majority of pregnancy losses are resultant from unknown causes (with the rest caused by genetic factors). I've also read that stress isn't as bad for pregnant women as we often believe - some stress may even be healthy for developing babies. Do not blame yourself because it just is NOT your fault.

I can't help with the natural miscarriage because I had to have a D&C as my body carried my little angel for a month after it had passed. One thing that eventually helped me through (nothing helped for the first two weeks, btw) was transitioning from preparing my life for baby to preparing a beautiful memory box for my first pregnancy. Now, I visit my memory box with more joy than pain - it was the most joyous, carefree pregnancy that I will probably ever have.

I'm sending warm, comforting vibes your way. I hope that at the dark times, you'll know that you will have worked your way through the forest of intense pain this time next year.

flowerintherain · January 2017

@Cupcakegal930 I'm so so sorry for your loss and that you ended up here

but you're right, at least we all have each other.

To answer your question, I had a natural MC and it took around 24 hours from when the spotting started to actually passing the baby. But I've heard this varies from person to person. I had a friend who bled for weeks and her body just couldn't expel the baby. She ended up having to get a d&c. I know that getting a fever or chills definitely isn't a good sign and usually means that your body might need some extra help.
As for going to work tomorrow, I would just use your best judgement. If you are cramping heavily, you probably shouldn't go. My bleeding started off with no cramping at all, light cramping the next morning, moderate period like cramps in the afternoon that kept getting worse and eventually turned into full blown contractions. So when the cramping starts to get painful, make sure you're in a good place.

Please don't blame yourself for stressing. I think most of us are dealing with this guilt that we shouldn't be placing on ourselves. Just keep reminding yourself that most pregnancies that end in the 1st trimester are due to abnormalities. There are many women who deal with tons of stress and go on to have healthy pregnancies. It's not your fault

justsuzie · January 2017

People in horrible stressful situations have babies all the time. It's hard not to hold some guilt or feel bad. Any emotion you are feeling is okay. Feel it all. It helps you heal. I hope you are able to begin healing soon.

Glitter · January 2017

hi hun, im also here from our Aug 17 board. I have had a natural mc, which for me i knew it was starting when i saw the bright red, I honestly would stay home if you see bright red. I went to the er because i felt my body keep having contractions to push baby out but i had large clots, i couldn't pass. You will know if its necessary to go to er. My dr told me, once i see the red or cramps bad, take 4 motrin and 2 more a few hours later. I would just try to be as relaxed as possible. my friend had her natural mc at 8w and she did very well. She wore a pad for a day or two prior and said she knew it was coming. If you do feel any harsh pain, please call ur dr or go to er, if not, just try to relax. im so sorry hun. I had my d&c today. I wish we werent here

SP128 · January 2017

So sorry to hear about your mc. Please be kind to yourself. I don't think the stress you are experiencing caused your loss.

NYTino24 · January 2017

@cupcakegal930 I started bleeding on Wednesday last week, saw a HB Thursday but had major contractions that night, and passed the baby on Sunday. I am almost done spotting now. As I just said on another post, my doc said they can't test to see what happened unless there is a D&C. Not sure if anyone else knows if that's universal. Hugs!

rklinge0 · January 2017

@NYTino24 I think you can keep the sac and refrigerate it. But I definitely didn't want to do that.
Part of me doesn't want to know the reason why this happened because I would feel weird if both my babies had abnormal chromosomes.

NYTino24 · January 2017

@rklinge0 We did that and they still didn't test other than to confirm it was "the product of conception". Yeah, no sh*t. This whole process can be so inhumane.

britmanering73 · January 2017

I'm so so sorry for all your losses. I haven't been on here much but found I needed some closure, some kind of hope that it'll be okay.

At "8" weeks, we were told there was no fetal pole. Just a sac. I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum. His 2nd child, first miscarriage. My first pregnancy.

Christmas was hard. Telling my family was harder. We're faith based people and believe that God had bigger plans. I'm scared for the future. I'm nervous to try again. As I type this, I have started (today) my first cycle after having the miscarriage. Maybe that's why I'm back to being an emotional basket case.

I read a few blogs before posting on here that were back in 2012. The lady had commented that her friends asked her this question: "Oh, so you weren't really pregnant then?" The very moment that strip had shown and gave me the greatest feeling in the world, I was a mom. It hurt to have the symptoms, everything be in line with what we thought was growing inside of me. Everyday we'd read the progression. Everyday the symptoms and mood swings would grow... Only to be shattered awhile later. There was never a baby. I was pregnant without the reward.

I'm still grieving. My nurse practitioner (I didn't even get in to see my dr and because of that, I'm leaving her office and going elsewhere!!) made the decision for me to do the pill. I remember being confused, in a daze, not all there that day. My DH and I took off the rest of the day to "cope." Little did I know, I was about to miss 10 days of work and be in so much agony and heartbreak I could barely stand by Christmas. But I did. I overcame, I'm still overcoming. Blood everywhere, tears, dizziness, nausea. And they still didn't give me a D&C, said I didn't need one.

The package on the prescription stated "to be taken if trying to abort." I was sick. Sick to my stomach knowing I had to "clean myself" of this. I wasn't trying to abort! I wasn't to scoop everything I had lost and put in back in my uterus. Wallowing in self pity took a toll on our marriage. I would stare off into an abyss of some sort. The smile wasn't there anymore. I find myself going through everything I could've done differently but there's nothing you can change. It's too late. No there wasn't ever a baby in there, but our hope was. Our joy was. It could've been worse. He/She could've been 6 months like my stillborn niece.

I actually prematurely bought stuff. We bought a swing, bouncer, cute little onesies with Foxes on them. Boy or Girl, they were my little camper.

I'm getting better. Today with this period arriving, it gave me some hope that God wants to me to trust Him, put my faith in Him. Start again.

I hope someone can take this post and feel better about going through what we all have. There is hope just over the valley. You just have to be patient.

splashmountain · January 2017

@britmanering73 I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm glad that you're getting better and that you have your H and God to help you through it. Hugs.

NYTino24 · January 2017

@britmanering73 We are with you. We were going to publicly announce on Valentine's Day, which would have been the start my second trimester... so now I have some Valentine and baby stuff that is just hidden in a drawer. Sending hugs your way.

bookworm40 · January 2017

@britmanering73 thank you for that heartfelt post. I had already told some family and for Christmas someone gave me a couple of onsies and a baby blanket. I actually felt funny opening them. I put them away in my hope chest along with the shirt that my mother had gotten me which said "I can't keep calm I'm going to be a mommy" and the mommy to be ornament someone gave me. I know that someday soon I will use them all.

Fortunately for me I don't think I will have to take the medication, the bleeding became heavier today and the cramping has gotten worse. I go to the dr on Wednesday and am hoping to pass everything before than.

I hope everyone on this board finds their peace and the light at the end of the tunnel. Until than we are all in this together.

jen83mn · January 2017

@Cupcakegal930

Just wanted to reach out and say I'm so sorry for your loss. I had an early miscarriage last week, began spotting at 4w3d. My experience will probably be different than yours since you were further along, but I had 3 days of spotting prior to heavy bleeding. I had heavy bleeding for two days, then bled for four additional days after that, light to medium. I worked from home the entire week. While I wasn't in much physical pain, there was a lot of blood, and emotionally I was a wreck. I was so thankful to not be at work so if I burst out crying, no one would see me. Give yourself time to grieve ... emotionally, this is so tough

Thinking about you and sending you hugs!

merrypotter · January 2017

So sorry for your loss

I think we were on the August BMB together. So sad to see another one of us here.

I MC on my own at home. For me, I had some light brown bleeding for 4 or 5 days and I, nor my doctor, was concerned about it as I didn't have ANY cramping. Then a few days before Christmas I just felt like something bad was going to happen. Still only that light brown bleeding. The day after Christmas rolled around and when I stood up I felt a gush of blood and then could just feel it running down my legs. I ran into the bathroom and just sat on the toilet and pushed as if I was in labor. I passed a few quarter sized clots and then passed what I now know was the gestational sac and unfortunately my baby. I had period like bleeding for a week and then nothing. I'm so so sorry for your loss. I hope this helps, even a little. Take care of yourself.. my thoughts and prayers are with you

britmanering73 · January 2017

Wow, you all are such an inspiration. We will overcome, we will keep trying. Prayers to you all!

liz4382 · January 2017

@Cupcakegal930 I am so sorry for your loss. I remember you from Aug 17 and am sorry that we are here together.

bookworm40 · January 2017

Thanks all. I passed everything on Friday night. It wasn't as terrible as I thought it was going to be. I am still bleeding and cramping and I have a dr appointment on Wednesday to make sure everything is gone.
I wish I were more emotional about it but I knew it was coming and had my time to grieve while I was waiting for my body to take over.
I booked a Disney vacation with my cousin who is like my sister for the end of February and I'm throwing all my energy into planning that right now. It just takes my mind off of everything.

rainbowwishes5 · January 2017

I am so sorry for your loss. At least the worst should be over. Look into that self-care trip. You so very much deserve it

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