Baby shower on MIL birthday

fbmandy55 · January 2017

So my mom and sister are planning my baby shower... the date they picked happens to fall on my MIL's birthday. I know they have a room booked but they are keeping me out of all the other details, I'm fine with that. I've waited a very long time for this through infertility and baby number 1 was when I was young, I never had support, let alone a shower thrown for me.

I let MIL know as a courtesy before invites go out because I know NO other details. Her response was, " we'll see if I'm able to make it". Really? Because let's be honest, she more than likely not even going to leave the house that day. I think the issue is more that everything has to be all about her, which was my fear in her coming. That she would have to let everyone know 85 times that it's her birthday.

I'm kind of beyond caring. There have been lots of family events that they've planned on my birthday. Either we went or if we had plans, we didn't. I have no control over the shower being thrown for me, I don't even know the location yet. I highly doubt that there is going to be a date in March that works for all the attendees.

Is it inconsiderate to just not care and leave it up to her to come or not?

SaphireSweetie88 · January 2017

fbmandy55 said:

So my mom and sister are planning my baby shower... the date they picked happens to fall on my MIL's birthday. I know they have a room booked but they are keeping me out of all the other details, I'm fine with that. I've waited a very long time for this through infertility and baby number 1 was when I was young, I never had support, let alone a shower thrown for me.

I let MIL know as a courtesy before invites go out because I know NO other details. Her response was, " we'll see if I'm able to make it". Really? Because let's be honest, she more than likely not even going to leave the house that day. I think the issue is more that everything has to be all about her, which was my fear in her coming. That she would have to let everyone know 85 times that it's her birthday.

I'm kind of beyond caring. There have been lots of family events that they've planned on my birthday. Either we went or if we had plans, we didn't. I have no control over the shower being thrown for me, I don't even know the location yet. I highly doubt that there is going to be a date in March that works for all the attendees.

Is it inconsiderate to just not care and leave it up to her to come or not?

If it were me I'd say " I hope to see you there but if you can't make it, I understand and you will be missed" and then not give it another thought. If she wants to be pouty because it's on her birthday then let her. You deserve to have a shower it would be rude (in my opinion) to ask them to change the date because of MILs birthday since that could be a lot more work and they may lose the place (and any deposit paid) they picked if another date didn't work there.

SnarkasaurusRex · January 2017

fbmandy55 said:

So my mom and sister are planning my baby shower... the date they picked happens to fall on my MIL's birthday. I know they have a room booked but they are keeping me out of all the other details, I'm fine with that. I've waited a very long time for this through infertility and baby number 1 was when I was young, I never had support, let alone a shower thrown for me.

I let MIL know as a courtesy before invites go out because I know NO other details. Her response was, " we'll see if I'm able to make it". Really? Because let's be honest, she more than likely not even going to leave the house that day. I think the issue is more that everything has to be all about her, which was my fear in her coming. That she would have to let everyone know 85 times that it's her birthday.

I'm kind of beyond caring. There have been lots of family events that they've planned on my birthday. Either we went or if we had plans, we didn't. I have no control over the shower being thrown for me, I don't even know the location yet. I highly doubt that there is going to be a date in March that works for all the attendees.

Is it inconsiderate to just not care and leave it up to her to come or not?

To the bolded, no, it's not inconsiderate. She's a grown woman who can and will do what she wants. If she wants to throw a tantrum about it and refuse to come, that's on her. If she decides to come and is insistent on telling everyone that it's her birthday and acting like a brat, that's on her. You shouldn't let it spoil your mood. I also wouldn't attempt to reschedule, since your hostesses have already booked things.

Otherwise, I agree with everything PP said.

fbmandy55 · January 2017

My mom tried to reschedule anyway and the space was booked. So original date it is.

MIL has not RSVP'd. Oh well.

Americasfavors · January 2017

I can see that you really want her to come because you are willing to reschedule the date for her. However, I wouldn't get to worried about it. It falls on her birthday, so she kind has the say on what she wants to do on that day. Just let her know that you guys would really love for her to drop by for like 15 minutes and say hi. If she doesn't come no worries, you got a lot of pictures and videos to show her the next time you see her.

P.S: When someone says: " we'll see if I'm able to make it". They usually will make it.

I mean come on it's your future grandson/granddaughter that we are talking about here.

Enjoy your Baby Shower and Congratulations!

dufferoo · January 2017

I find it so eyeroll-worthy when grown adults make such a fuss over their own birthdays. It's the anniversary of the day you were born, not Pretty Princess Queen for the Day day! The world can't stop. K, vent over. Enjoy your shower!

BreadPoetsSociety · January 2017

She is an adult and can decide for herself what she wants to do: attend your shower or not. I would keep the date as it is, extend the invite, and leave the ball in her court.

Ain't nobody got time for that kind of childish behavior.

DrillSergeantCat · January 2017

Zero f***s would be given about keeping the day as is. It was extremely nice of you and your mom to try to change the date to accommodate her. Now don't give it a second thought.

dznuts · March 2017

Not inconsiderate at all!

Baby shower on MIL birthday

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