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Type of MC and Causes

dragonfly87-2dragonfly87-2 member
edited December 2016 in TTC After a Loss
Sorry, just in a bit of a dark place since getting the results today to confirm my CP.

But I cannot stop wondering what went wrong to cause this. My biggest concern is that something is wrong with my body because it was so early and implantation likely didn't occur. With later MCs, they can sometimes run tests and it is a concern with the development of the fetus. But if implantation cannot even occur, I feel it's a problem with my uterus or body. I know I am probably just overthinking this, but I don't understand why this happened and I cannot get any answers. 

Sorry if if this is too much of a dear diary, but I am just really struggling tonight...
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Re: Type of MC and Causes

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    RiverSong15RiverSong15 member
    edited December 2016
    I'm so sorry you're struggling @dragonfly87. Your feelings are completely normal. Just know that nothing you did or didn't do caused this MC, and it doesn't mean anything is necessarily wrong with you. The vast majority of MCs, including chemical pregnancies, are due to chromosomal abnormalities with the embryo. A certain percentage of eggs and sperm, even in women and men with good egg and sperm quality, are chromosomally abnormal. That's why MC is so common (1 in 4 pregnancies end in MC). In this case, a MC is actually your body doing what it is supposed to do - not continuing a nonviable pregnancy. I know that doesn't make this hurt or suck any less. 

    There are other things that can cause MC besides chromosomal problems, but they're more rare. I've had two MCs this year, so I recently went through recurrent loss testing (RPL testing). Outside of chromosomal problems, causes of loss fall into three categories: structural problems with the uterus (e.g., septums or fibroids), hormonal (thryoid, diminished ovarian reserve, etc.), or immunological (blood clotting disorders, etc.). These are nowhere near as common as chromosomal issues though. Even after all my testing for two first tri losses, my RE is convinced I just had bad luck with the odds of a chromosomally abnormal embryo each time.

    After one MC, your odds of having a perfectly healthy baby the next time you conceive are still really high. You aren't anymore likely to MC again than anyone else. I know that doesn't take away the pain of this MC at all, but hopefully it gives you some hope for the future.


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    Mack2342Mack2342 member
    I second everything @RiverSong15 said.  She is right on.  Your feelings are totally normal.   I experienced the same feelings. I was 8 weeks and we have no explanation either.  My doctor was so reassuring that it was my body's way of responding to abnormal pregnancy.  It's been a few months now and I have accepted that now.  It takes time to adjust.  I still have bad days but I have more great days than bad.  Hugs to you. Take care of yourself 
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    Wingless00Wingless00 member
    I'm so sorry for your loss @dragonfly87. I read your post when I was up in the middle of the night with various TTC anxieties and have been thinking about you today. I agree with what @RiverSong15 and @Mack2342 have said.

    Looking back on my immediate reaction to my MC, I think I had a really hard time reconciling the fact that my MC, which was the saddest and most traumatic event in my life, was also a common physiological response to an abnormal pregnancy. How could something that felt so significant and painful also have been a common, even normal part of human reproduction? How can there not have been something very terribly wrong to cause this awful loss? How could my body make a decision that went against everything in my heart and head? I'm not sure that I've ever been able to reconcile the facts with my feelings but I can tell you it has gotten easier over time.

    I'm so sorry that you have to go through this but you aren't alone in your feelings. Sending you lots of creepy internet hugs.   <3  
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    dragonfly87-2dragonfly87-2 member
    edited December 2016
    @wingless00 @mack2342 @RiverSong15

    Thank you for your responses. They were very helpful as I process this. I guess I feel very odd and out of sorts. This experience has been mostly emotional and mental for me. I never once felt a cramp or physical pain during the CP, so other than what was like a very short and light AF, it's like it didn't happen. So processing it is very strange. I got my blood drawn again today to confirm HCG is going down (it was at 6 on Tuesday) and I foolishly have some kind of hope that it will go up. I don't know why, but I just want the results back to just say it's officially over.

    Also, my doctor said, "until the labs come back, continue to 'act pregnant' so refrain from alcohol, medications, etc" I don't know why she said that, it's obvious what is happening...but then foolishly I am following that advice too. A friend asked to get drinks tonight and I said no. Partly because I don't want to be around other people (she just had a baby) and partly because I am afraid to drink. I have a headache today and I am scared to take ibuprofen. I don't know what to think or do. I am just hoping these feelings subside over the next few days and things will go back to normal. But, then the holidays are coming, which I am not looking forward to this year.
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    SP128SP128 member
    @dragonfly87  I am so sorry you are struggling.  MC and CP are so difficult and it can even be more difficult to wrap our brains around.  It is so common, but yet not a lot of people talk about it.  I hear you on having your hopes up.  I too was grasping at every straw no matter how far fetched it was. I also felt that same way when I was waiting for my HCG to go down.  At that point I just wanted things to be done and not having it linger and be a constant reminder.  

    What ever emotions you are feeling are not foolish at all.  The ladies on this board have been my saving grace.  I do not know how I would've gotten through the last couple of months without them.  It really helps to be able to vent to people who have been through similar situations.  I've found that although people are sympathetic they just don't "get it" unless they've been through it.  

    Be easy on yourself and take care of yourself. 
    ***TW***
    Me: 36  DH:35
    Married: 7/10/2016
    TTC#1 - May 2016
    BFP 9/6/2016 - Missed MC 10/20/2016  
    BFP 5/5/2017  - CP
    IVF #1 - June 2017  - Transferred 1 fresh 4 AA embryo.  7/9 Beta #1 - 161 
    <3 Adam <3 Born on 3/18/18




     
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    jen83mnjen83mn member
    I'm suffering my first chemical pregnancy and loss right now, but I just wanted to give you hope that chemical pregnancies happen even in those people who have had successful pregnancies before (I have a 16-month-old and had no issues with that pregnancy, so this came as a total shock to me). I know quite a few friends who have had an early miscarriage with their first pregnancy, then conceived within 6 months later and now have healthy kiddos, so try not to get discouraged!

    Being upset and mourning the loss is totally natural ... this has hit me really hard, and I'm still figuring out how to deal with it. But I know in the end, everything will be ok. Thinking about you and sending you hugs! If you need to talk, feel free to PM me :)
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    Hopefulmommy1980Hopefulmommy1980 member
    I am sorry for your loss
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