Parenting Fails

NYTino24 · December 2016

Share your funny stories here! No mommy shaming, please.

NYTino24 · December 2016

No kids yet! I was babysitting in college and had taken some Benadryl due to an allergic reaction I had to an antibiotic I was on for a sinus infection. I fell asleep and woke up to the word, "p*nis" and giggling. In the five minutes I fell asleep, the 4 year old bigger sister thought it would be great to use Crayola marker to trace all of her brother's "cracks" - like the lines in his hands, wrists, and the line under his belly. I threw them in the bath really fast, tried to scrub pretty hard, and downplayed the situation to their dad when he got home 20 minutes later. I never again babysat when I was sick. What a nightmare!!

lynkat · December 2016

It's not a single incident but let's just say I need to harness my road rage in front of my toddler. I've done better lately but it happens.

DoulaTog13 · December 2016

This one probably belongs in the FFFC thread but... my biggest parenting fail was when my first was a newborn, I dropped him to save my laptop. *facepalm* Mind you... I didn't drop him on the floor... it was only about a 2" drop into the Rock N Play, but I was leaning over to lay him down and my laptop slid off my lap and my instinct for the past however many years kicked in and I grabbed at the laptop. He wasn't hurt, of course, but I was so upset with myself, I cried for hours.

cltweed · December 2016

This isn't new, and I'm sure I have a laundry list of other fails, but this is my doozie... my claim to parenting fail fame. When my youngest DD was 4 months old, we all dressed up like cows for CFA's dress like a cow/get free chicken day. I'm obviously a GENIUS and safety pinned black paper spots onto all of us. The baby was still in her infant carrier, not reaching or grabbing really yet. We all sat down in the booth with some church friends and she choked. Fished a piece of black paper out of her mouth and realized she was still acting weird. Realized after a panicked, wouldn't wish it on anyone feeling, that she had SWALLOWED A SAFETY PIN. Rush all of us to imaging, by then it had passed her esophagus and she was acting like her same normal self. They were sure she hadn't really swallowed it, because ?! Of course a 4 month old wouldn't swallow a safety pin. There it was, plain as day on the x-ray. A wide open safety pin. 5 days and 4 x-rays later, she pooped it out. I lost 6 lbs. All I did was stare at her and Google and pray like crazy. People at our pediatrician's office still ask "Oh, isn't she the one who swallowed the safety pin?" Needless to say, this year when we dressed up for cow appreciation day, we TAPED our spots on.

Editted to add picture from my IG post that day:

hupp0013 · December 2016

@cltweed That would have been so so scary! I am so glad she was all right!

I used to let DD1 "paint" with water and sidewalk chalk. Then one day, she decided to take black and red and paint all over her legs. She was completely covered in wet sidewalk chalk. The crayola sidewalk chalk stays out for a really long time. It took months to get the black off the driveway. It took days for it to come completely off of her skin.

One time I also locked both sets of keys and my kids in my van. It was horrifying. I didn't realize until a while later that my spare was in my diaper bag. I had to call a locksmith and wait for him to come and open my doors. Luckily, it wasn't super hot or cold (I live in MN), and the locksmith responded quickly. It was a fluke thing that it happened too, because I used my remote to open at least one of the doors and the doors unlock when you use the remote. It didn't happen that day.

britvahok · December 2016

@cltweed OMG thats crazy! I think I would have passed out in Chick Fil A!!!!

asun123 · December 2016

cltweed said:

This isn't new, and I'm sure I have a laundry list of other fails, but this is my doozie... my claim to parenting fail fame. When my youngest DD was 4 months old, we all dressed up like cows for CFA's dress like a cow/get free chicken day. I'm obviously a GENIUS and safety pinned black paper spots onto all of us. The baby was still in her infant carrier, not reaching or grabbing really yet. We all sat down in the booth with some church friends and she choked. Fished a piece of black paper out of her mouth and realized she was still acting weird. Realized after a panicked, wouldn't wish it on anyone feeling, that she had SWALLOWED A SAFETY PIN. Rush all of us to imaging, by then it had passed her esophagus and she was acting like her same normal self. They were sure she hadn't really swallowed it, because ?! Of course a 4 month old wouldn't swallow a safety pin. There it was, plain as day on the x-ray. A wide open safety pin. 5 days and 4 x-rays later, she pooped it out. I lost 6 lbs. All I did was stare at her and Google and pray like crazy. People at our pediatrician's office still ask "Oh, isn't she the one who swallowed the safety pin?" Needless to say, this year when we dressed up for cow appreciation day, we TAPED our spots on.

Editted to add picture from my IG post that day:

Omg, That stressed me out reading that!
So glad everything turned out alright.

jsaffer01 · December 2016

When my son was about a year and a half old, he was pushing his ride on 3 wheeled motorcycle around. He loves pushing this toy around, instead of sitting on it. (He chases our dogs with it). Well there was a time he was doing this again and the corner of the wheel got caught on the coffee table leg. In slow motion he flipped over the handle bars. I saw the whole thing happen, I could have saved him, but I didn't move, and I immediately burst into laughter, and he burst into tears. He was okay though just scared.

kodariah · December 2016

I think the list of things I have found in my childs mouth would be my parenting fail. My favorite was finding that he tipped over a cup of thumb tacks his dad decided to put within his reach. I went pee for two seconds and came out of the bathroom to find my 8 month old crawler in a land mine of tacks with one in his mouth. luckily it didnt get swallowed and I got him before he crawled through the tacks. Yesterday after his dad (not my DH when he does things like this, haha) dropped and "cleaned up" the pot to his coffee maker and about a hour later I found a piece of glass in my LO's mouth. Once again luckily he didn't cut his mouth and he didn't swallow it, he only gave me a slight heart attack.

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