Intro/Advice Needed

J1006 · December 2016

I was active on the T-TTC board for awhile but fell off for about a year. Jumping over here so I thought I would introduce myself. Here is my story:

My husband (28) and I (27) have been TTC for over 3 years. We tried for a year on our own and nothing. I had many months where I for sure thought I was pregnant but nothing. I started my testing all levels normal, HSG normal. We tried to moved forward with an SA however ran into trouble with the fertility clinic that my doctor outsourced to. The office that set up new patients was basically unreachable. Would not return phone calls, emails, etc.

About a year and a half/ two years into everything we found out we were moving for DH job. We decided to take a break mainly for my sanity. I was also starting a new job and if I did get pregnant I would not yet qualify for paid leave.

I started seeing a new doctor who is fantastic. At my first appointment she basically said I respect that you want to take a break but when you give me the green light I don't stop until you have a baby. So refreshing based on what I experienced in the past. I basically got, oh you're young you have time.

We recently started our "retesting". My levels once again came back normal. Unfortunately my DH's SA came back with issues. Count of only 5 million. Motility is ok. The most concerning part in my doc's opinion is his 0% morphology. Plan is to retest in one month just to rule out a bad sample.

My my doctor suggested we just talk about sperm donors. See if it's something we would be interested in. It would be the easiest (in her medical opinion). Anyone have experience with this? Used a donor or decided against? I've been going back and forth on it as has my DH.

We've also talked about adoption. My BIL and his wife (who are really the only two who know the extent of our issues) have very strong opinions against adoption and aren't shy about saying so. They basically say we are stupid not to just go ahead with a sperm donor because no one will know it's not biologically both of ours. We keep trying to explain to them that it's not so black and white, however, it's hard for them to understand because they are not in our situation.

Sorry my intro is so long, however, I would appreciate any advice/thoughts any of you have.

Kp214 · December 2016

I'm sorry you find yourself here. Welcome, though. I don't know about sperm donors and can't really say one way or the other. You and DH have to do what's best for you and what you can live with. It's different for everyone. Maybe give it a month to see what the next SA says. It's wonderful to have a doctor who is so willing to keep going as long as you are. Would icsi help with that?

I will say that I am adopted, internationally, and if you have any questions or would like to discuss it from the child's perspective, please feel free to ask.

APM_SLP · December 2016

Hi! So, my husband has 1% morphology, decent motility and low count. My RE sent us straight to IVF/ICSI. As far as I know a morphology of 0% wouldn't necessarily count you out for ICSI. I would definitely explore ICSI and/or get a second opinion before looking at donor sperm.

There is a recent good thread on here (maybe you already read it) regarding increasing SA numbers. Very good suggestions on how to get male numbers improved.

APM_SLP · December 2016

Ps I should also state that at our egg retrieval we had 17 eggs retrieved and 13 fertilize perfectly via ICSI.

Polythene Pam · December 2016

That's tough, that'd be a decision for you both. However other options like donated embryos could work too, that way you still carry the child through IVF but it's not only the sperm donated. A friend is going through a similar situation and they're currently looking into it.

we looked into adoption as both my sisters were adopted, and if IVF doesn't work we said we'll adopt in a heartbeat. If you have questions let me know, I can talk to my sisters

hibiscus118 · December 2016

Hi, I'm a lurker for the most part but thought I would share. We got a MFI diagnosis earlier this year and my husbands counts were much worse (less than 1 mil and poor motility/morphology) and my RE was very confident he could get us pregnant with IVF/ICSI at that point. We opted to see a urologist and my husband had varicocele surgery to see if it would help. He also take HCG injections and is on supplements. His counts went up slightly (4 mil, normal morphology). We just went through our first round of IVF with ICSI and had 19 eggs retrieved, 16 fertilized, 1 transferred, and froze 8 embryos. If you're unsure about donor, I would ask about ICSI or see about going to a reproductive urologist.

mandasd · December 2016

I agree he needs to see a urologist...there's also a lot he can do with supplements and lifestyle modifications.

J1006 · December 2016

@hibiscus118 what supplements is he taking?

He is making an appointment with a urologist. Unfortunately all of the lifestyle changes have already been made (boxers, no alcohol, no hot tubs/baths, etc.)

My doctor just mentioned to start the discussion just in case. We've both agreed that IVF isn't something we want to try. We are in a state that doesn't cover any fertility procedures. We would rather spend the money on adoption (since both of us are okay with adopting) rather than go through IVF for just a chance at conceiving.

MariaBend25 · December 2016

Your situation is so similar to my own. I'm 27, I have PCOS and hormone issues, and the surprise was DH SA, with count, mobility, and morphology an issue. Also 0% morphology. We did a repeat and counts were all a little better but still low and still zero on morphology. Our doc suggests IVF but I am against it so he says IUI has a small chance at working. But, even with morphology at zero, your husband should be able to provide sperm if you are willing to do IVF or even ICSI. Sounds like you don't really want a non biological child and I don't see why your doctor hasn't given you the IVF option. Ours never mentioned anything about DH not having usable sperm and he has all the issues like your hubby, plus motility issues.
While I am sorry you are on this thread, I am in a way excited to meet someone in a similar situation and will gladly share notes! I really hope it works out for you two!

hibiscus118 · December 2016

@J1006 so sorry I am just seeing this!

He is doing HCG injections to boost testosterone, arimidex, and taking conceptionXR and vitamin C. There are more supplements he could take, I can't remember what they are now. Do some research. Coq10 might be one? Since his count was less than 1m last year, we knew we would be doing IVF eventually and just wanted those numbers to get slightly better for it.

We do have some infertility coverage, so we are very lucky. I'm not sure what we would have done if we didn't. I have heard adoption can be a long and heartbreaking process as well. Both are such personal choices but we all do what is best for us.

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