When you're using a known sperm donor...

KLake42 · December 2016

... is it tacky to buy them a 23andMe or AncestryDNA kit for the holidays?

Because it's on his list. But I personally have a keen interest in his genetics, so it's kind of selfish too?

I'm asking for real, but also hoping the silliness of this question gives you a lift today. I'm all hormonal just from the birth control, and getting ready to start shooting up with lupron which will *really* make Christmas awesome, and I'm betting a lot of folks reading this are dealing with someone similar. Find your humor where you can, right?

So this is definitely on the pricey end of his wish list. But I kind of want to splurge. I mean, how can you thank someone enough for going to a clinic and doing *that* a bunch of times, when they aren't even going to be the parent? Like, maybe I should buy him a car, too. But it might be weird to be too "genetics themed" with the gift. Like, maybe the hipster boy blue jeans he wants will be less likely to make him remember all those trips to the clinic. (He went several times, so we would have a good stash, since we had to wait out a 6 month quarantine per FDA rules.)

Anyone else here use a known sperm donor or known egg donor? How the heck do you manage holiday or birthday gifts after something like that? AWKWARD

mtpbadger · December 2016

If it's on his list I think that would be a cool idea!! It's also neat that it's not just for him, but also your future child(ren) if/when they ask or you tell them about their ancestry and all that stuff. Plus it will make you all giggle a little bit and who doesn't need that?

Ugh, I am scheduled to start my meds tomorrow and will be on a steroid and a huge dose of estrogen which I'm sure will make me feel just AMAZING while I'm home for Christmas.

funkykey · December 2016

I am not in this position, not using a known donor, but I was just talking to a friend about how much I want to try the 23andMe testing. That is an awesome gift! I don't think it's tacky at all, I think that'd be super cool.

Asking to see his results, however, that will be the tricky part... :-P Like, how do you do that in a charming way? Probably after a few drinks? That would be how I'd set it up - liquor them up, then go in for the: "So, those results... I totally have a vested interest in knowing everything, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable." Might be easier if you have taken the test yourself. Good luck!

bobby2016 · December 2016

Not in the same position - but I totally think it's an awesome idea. He's clearly an excellent sport if he's going through the whole process for you

I'd maybe pair it with something else small/related to make it clear that you understand the humour of the situation. Maybe even a funny card would do the trick.

However, I'd take cues from him. Has he been comfortable talking about it, or treating it more privately? That might be the biggest clue!

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