Anybody have any experience with donor eggs?

KirstenCas · December 2016

After trying 5 times, its inevitable that I will not be able to use my own eggs. I'm really sad.

Is anyone using donor eggs? How does it work, did you buy a lot? Did you get a guarantee? Does MFI effect success with donor eggs? How do you feel about using donor eggs? How did you pick a donor?

Also, has anyone had success with counseling for infertility. I'm considering going and just wondered if it will help.

Also, I'm aware that there is a 3rd party reproduction space on the boards but it is not active, so I'm trying here.

Thanks

JamieH2000 · December 2016

I don't have experience with donor eggs (yet), but I have started looking into it since we are on our last try. I also noticed the bump doesn't really have good donor/third party reproduction pages, but babycenter has multiple very active donor pages that have given me some good info. I have also started considering seeing a counselor as the stress is getting hard to manage. I know my new clinic has one on staff, and I think they even require at least 1 visit before doing donor. Maybe your clinic could give you a referral to someone good?

I will say I never imagined myself having to consider this... but reading the stories and talking to some ladies in my local support group who has done this has helped. I have not found one person that has ever regretted doing donor (though there is the genetic loss that you have to grieve) and they all say once the baby is here, you couldn't imagine it any other way. Sometimes I think I am 100% if I have to do this.. and other days its still really hard to think that I may not have a genetic baby. its definitely a process. Please stay in touch and let me know how it goes for you if you go down this path.

KLake42 · December 2016

I'm not exactly in your shoes, but I am trying with eggs that aren't mine this time.

Only, they aren't the eggs of a nubile 20-year-old woman who is getting paid for her time. They're the eggs of my 38-year-old wife, who hopefully has perkier ovaries than me.

But if all goes well, we'll be doing a fresh transfer next month.

I think MFI can still be an issue, but if it's moderate, ICSI should be sufficient to overcome it.

I actually went through therapy before I started TTC, for other issues, and it really helped me develop coping skills that have been useful as I've been navigating the challenges of infertility. And sometimes, it's just good to have a nonjudgmental person who you can say anything to, even the stuff that you don't want admit you feel (like how angry this can make you, how you might blame a partner who you otherwise love, how you don't always feel supported, how you maybe don't always want to keep doing this, etc.). It's good to tell your secrets to someone who still supports you, who is only invested in *you* feeling better.

hsblack7 · December 2016

I usually just lurk here but I wanted to jump in. I'm 40 and have DOR. We are giving my eggs one last shot but I've already started planning and researching. A dear friend of mine used donor eggs and she actually recommended that I use them from the beginning. TW: She has gorgeous twins from her first donor transfer. She and her husband agree that if they'd known how little it would matter once she was pregnant they would have saved the money and the stress (she was 41 when they started) and gone with a donor. My clinic will guarantee a baby with donor eggs even to women over 35. I ignored her advice because I have to try but it's very comforting to know it's an option. I have worked with a therapist through all of this. It helps tremendously.

tiffavis12 · December 2016

Not sure what all you guys have tried but my first ivf round we got 5 eggs 2 immature and 1 didnt fertilize. We transferred 2 on day 3 with heavy fragmentation. This round the doctors changed my cycle to a lupron cycle and added zinc, coq10 and vitamin d to my daily supplements and then BAM 24 eggs 17 fertilized and 6 made it to day 5 all perfect quality no fragmentation. Waiting til the 23rd to see if it worked but thought I'd share what worked good for me. Maybe it's an option before donor eggs.

KirstenCas · December 2016

Thanks everyone, I'm going to talk to a new RE in January about donor eggs.

natalie4oscar · December 2016

I'm in a similar boat to @hsblack7 I think we are going to try one more time with my eggs, I have DOR and the ones that we are able to extract are not developing. My RE spoke to me about donor eggs in our last meeting.. but I am just not completely ready to try just yet.

It is such a difficult situation to be in and I am so sorry @Kirstencas that you are going through this. I would also recommend counseling, I haven't started yet, but I need to. If you are anything like me you are walking around in a ball of anxiety and frustration, a counselor can help to address all those concerns.

Good luck to you and all others.

lrynwnab · December 2016

My DH and I have moved toward donor eggs after many ivf tries. As of now we have chosen a donor and are waiting for my husband's genetic screening to come back. When we started IVF 2 years ago, I got the genetic screening and wasn't a carrier for anything so we never had him tested. The donor we chose is a carrier for one thing so fingers crossed he doesn't have it too.
My RE has a small in-house donor program and also recommended a few agencies. We are using one of those agencies, because the in-house program was a 9-12 month wait. Hopefully we will get started in January if the tests come back OK.
I think for us, this was better than adoption. The doctor said she thinks it's a 70% chance of working. So, we'll see.
Good luck with the process. For me, after I took so long to get to one egg retrieval, it was a painful process, and I only had one mature egg, I just was sick of going through that with such a little chance of success.

mandasd · December 2016

We are trying IVF one more time and if not successful moving to donor eggs. In order for military to cover the costs I have to use military donor eggs. There is a bank in LA that shows me only donors that will work at my clinic, I think 12 ladies, so slim pickings! I'm warming up to the idea but I'm trying to stay positive about IVF #2. My RE has suggested donor eggs from the beginning so I'm lucky I'm even getting a 2nd shot.

I go to therapy 2x per month and it's helpful but it's gotten really bad for me after IVF failed.

dadezbombz · December 2016

That's awesome! @tiffavis12 ! I have started the coq10 this time too, and a new doctor.....both of which seem to drastically change

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