Freaking out over my planned pregnancy! — The Bump
1st Trimester

Freaking out over my planned pregnancy!

My husband and I have been married for seven years, and we felt like it was time to start trying for our first baby. I just found out I'm pregnant this week at just about 2-3 weeks. Although I am so happy, I am also feeling very anxious and unprepared. My husband is over the moon, but I feel like I'm carrying the bulk of the weight. (No pun intended.) This sounds awful, but I've asked myself, what have I done? I know this will change a lot, and I know I will love this baby, but I am scared of how this will change me and also how it will change my relationship with my husband. Does anyone feel this way? Or have you felt this way in a past pregnancy? Am I just crazy? 

Re: Freaking out over my planned pregnancy!

  • You are soo not crazy! I remember feeling exactly the same way when I found out I was pregnant last August. We had been trying for almost a year and when I finally found out I was over the moon! Then when I had a little time to think about it, I started to become more anxious but that went away pretty quickly and then it was all excitement.

    I also remember feeling sad that the time of just my husband and I would be coming to an end. Now that our sweet little girl is here, things in our relationship have shifted but we couldn't be happier. Don't worry all of your feelings are completely normal. Just take each day as it comes. I promise you this is going to be such an amazing experience. It goes by way to I'm sad that my little one is almost 5 months old! Don't worry mama, you've got this! 
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  • You are not crazy.  It is normal that you feel it's all you you you at the moment - and to be fair, it IS - your body is in crazy overdrive, weird things are happening to you, and noone else understands yet - it's perfectly normal to freak out a bit.  I would say, just take it one day at a time.  The most important thing is that you and your baby stay happy and healthy.  Everything else will fall into place! 

    Also, your time with your husband will not come to an end, dont believe the people who scare you with such stuff.  Once you have your baby, you will have a tough few months, but after that, the baby does not need to be glued to you - get help, parents, relatives, carve out time for yourself, and for you two, and trust me, you can do it.  I have never gone through it myself (just pregnant with my first baby :)) but I am seeing so many examples around me that give me hope and courage.  

    Also, from my limited experience: trust your husband and give him the opportunity to be there for you.  I had a hell of a week 5/6 and I had my own girlfriends coming over.. he cleaned the whole house and cooked dinner for us girls and he was the hero of the day.  I was happy, but he was over the moon that he could do this for me and our baby... give your man the chance to shine in a new role and he will!  You are so lucky that you have someone who loves you and is committed to you - do share the burden, he will LOVE it! Good luck and congratulations :)
    Me:  35 year old FTM, a busy city banker living in London, and a constant worrier. 
    My DH:  French guy, car fanatic, best husband ever.  
    Our baby boy:  Due on 17 April, currently 37 weeks.  I can't believe it - I made it to full term!!!! 
    Last measurement:  3150 gs at 37+1!  This is going to be a big baby :)
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  • hm1987hm1987 member
    edited September 2016
    Thank you so much for the reply. Both of your responses instantly made me breathe a sigh of relief knowing I'm not the only one who has felt this way. Most women seem instantly excited when they get the news and I have felt like I am a "broken mom" already. I just need to give myself time and not compare my experience with others'.  Thank you again. :) I will try to take each day as it comes. 
  • I am super excited for baby but prior to "trying", I went through a bit of a "mourning" period that it would no longer be just DH and I anymore.  It's just been us for 12 years (and our cats.  One of which we had to say goodbye to the other day :( ) and there were times where I thought I could live with not having kids.  But, I knew once the age of "no turning back" came that I would regret it till my dying day if I didn't.  So, here we are!

    I think it's normal to freak out a bit.  It is a huge game changer but as it goes on, especially when you can start to feel them move, all your worries will go away :)   
    Me: 29 DH: 31 SS: 12
    Met: 08/2001 Dating: 07/2004 ~ Engaged: 11/2009 ~ Married: 06/2011
    TTC: Since 09/16 ~ BFP 10/28/16 ~ EDD 7/5/17
    Team Pink * Canadian Bumpie
  • The freak out is normal. Our first was planned. Suddenly I found myself having to give up our little condo in an area where I could walk for everything, busy nightlife, etc. to buying a house in a suburban area. We changed a lot and it was daunting. You'll adjust and you'll get there. Don't be hard on yourself!
  • With my first, I literally bawled. It weren't consciously trying, but we weren't preventing. When I got that BFP, I saw the end of my youth flash before my eyes. Up until the beginning of the second trimester, I was terrified. Terrified of how my life was going to change, terrified that something would go wrong, terrified of how I would be as a parent.

    As I started to see the baby on ultrasounds, felt him move inside of me and with time, I became excited and looked forward to holding him and learning as I went as a parent. You're not crazy!
  • I'm 37 weeks with our first right now, and I'm STILL freaking out. I can't wait to see baby, and everything is ready, but I'm so scared of the responsibility, and how this will change our lives and our marriage! I keep telling myself that once the baby is here, while there will always be some fear, I know it will all be worth it. 

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Married DH: 4/7/2012 
    TTC: 2/3/2016 (Me: 31yrs  DH: 35yrs)
    BFP: 4/10/2016
    EDD: 12/18/16
    Kaynen Alexander born 12/6/16 via c-section (bicornate uterus/breech)
  • We waited 7 years too. Its an adjustment. 

    <a href="" title="Parenting Tips"><img src="" alt=" Pregnancy Ticker" border="0"  /></a>
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