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timelessnomad · December 2016

I waited a while before posting here but now it feels like its time. Here's my story:

I'm 39 y/o, and never really thought much about kids till I turned 37ish (yeah I'm a late bloomer I guess) Been happily married for 9 years and together for 13. At 38 I went off birth control (nuva ring) and we just figured we would see what happened but nothing happened. Then this year when I tuned 39 we started actively trying. This meant using ovulation kits, doing the deed every other day, then every day, and nada. After 6 months I went to my OB and she ran a bunch of tests. Hormone blood work = normal, Pelvic Ultrasound = normal, Checking my Fallopian tubes with dye = great looking uterus and tubes. So now she wants me to go on Clomid due to unexplained infertility. I'm very very sensitive to medicine and I'm a pretty emotional and sensitive person as it is (Pisces lady here!). I'm also just not a fond of medicine in general. I mean if I really need something I will take it, but I am more of a fan of natural medicine and such. It took me a long time to find a birth control that didn't make me feel crazy.

This month the strangest thing happened to me. I was 100% certain I was pregnant. I was late by 2 days, and for those two days I was not the same person. I was loopy, I felt sort of high, I would get these crazy bouts of feeling so hot and flushed, my senses were heightened, I felt calm, but I also had this odd sensation that my body was doing something in the backgorund. The week leading up to these two days I was also so exhausted that I could barely do much of anything. Also my typical PMS symptoms did not show up. I swore up and down I was pregnant, but the test said no, and then on my third day late, my period came. Along with more depression from yet another month of this not being the month I would get pregnant. This month was also so much harder as my best friend, who was trying for two months, just got pregnant.

So now I'm faced with a dilemma. The clock is most certainly not in my favor. I honestly don't want to take the Clomid, but then I wonder if I should. I just bought a clear blue fertility monitor so I'm going to try that out this month. I'm a bit fearful of the Clomid "Crazies" and how I'll manage at work. (I have a pretty hetic job and spend 3-4 hours commuting each day). I'd love to hear other people's experiences with similar situations and let me know your thoughts.

Thank you and big hugs to you all.

liljoy-2 · December 2016

Hi and sorry you have to be here, but you are not alone. I am exactly like you in many respects (sensitive, dislike taking drugs, etc). But time is not in our favor. So I started with an IUI without Clomid and then a micro-IVF only with Clomid, both unsuccessful. I'm continuing though on this path because it takes more tries or a full-blown IVF to have success. I was afraid of Clomid too but it wasn't bad. It seems that every woman has different symptoms. I personally didn't feel anything other than eye floaters which supposedly are bad. So no more Clomid for me next month, but this is such a staple for so many women that I'm starting to think my floaters are maybe not related to that but maybe to my stress levels, insomnia, unhappiness, etc.

timelessnomad · December 2016

Hi bestofjoy,
Thanks for your reply. I have a lot to learn about other treatments and have only been doing these tests and treatments with my obgyn. Seems like the next step is for me to go see a fertility specialist. This clomid treatment would only be with timed sex and not with anything else. For that I'd need to go to a specialist. I've made the phone call but don't have an appointment yet. I also don't have the support of my family on this. They all seem to think that I just need to destress my life and that I'll get pregnant. I also have very high stress levels and bouts of unhappiness. I'm trying to learn how to meditate and do some yoga. Feels like I'm so far behind on learning about all of this since I'll be 40 in 3 months. Guess I thought that when the time was right that it would just happen. I keep reading that Clomid has such a small chance of working for people in their 40's and being that I'm almost there, I wonder if its worth it at all. What is the bad thing about floaters and clomid? I already get optical migraines so wonder if that will be something that gets aggravated with the clomid. Still haven't made up my mind on what to do. Today is day 3 and my dr wants me to start on day 5 so we will see. Is there anything your doing to help with the stress and unhappiness?

Wishing you lots of luck on your latest treatment.

MariaBend25 · December 2016

Hi there and welcome to the group! I am new myself. While you are being tested did they test your hubby? Sperm tests are easy and can quickly determine if he is an impacting factor or if treatment should just concentrate on you. I knew I had issues but my hubby was tested anyway and whaddya know he had a bunch of abnormalities come up. Personally, I like to have as much info as possible to make treatment options make more sense, especially since it sounds like you might be sensitive to treatment. Just a though, I wish you the best on this journey.

liljoy-2 · December 2016

Everyone is different from what I understand regarding Clomid and other fertility drug side effects. I personally didn't want to just take Clomid with timed intercourse because the chances are very low and I didn't want to risk the side effects (plus it is not advisable to take Clomid more than 6 months due to concerns of cancer).
However Clomid is a drug used for 40 years and it does increase the number of eggs (in my case from one to two) so it makes sense to take it with IUI and IVF where your chances are already higher.

If I were you, at 39, I'd go straight to IVF or at least IUI first. This is because in talking to various REs, there is such a precipitous decline in egg quality that almost every month counts.

timelessnomad · December 2016

Hi MariaBend25, My husband was tested and no abnormalities. So basically all test on both of us came back fine. Guess I'm just dealing with age issues and egg quality so I'm very thankful for that. I know this may not make sense but part of me thinks that if its not meant to happen that it just won't happen. I don't like the idea that something can increase my chances for cancer down the road. I know I'd be upset if we didn't have kids but I also know that its something I'd just have to work through and figure out how to be ok eventually. I don't know how far I'm willing to go to make this happen.

cakeforbreakfast · December 2016

I second going to a specialist as soon as you can, the level of knowledge is so much more advanced and you will reap the benefits from it

. Your ovarian age is enough that as @bestofjoy said, every month counts.
You're future will likely hold more tests and hormones to get the job done unfortunately though, but not all of them are horrible

. It's something best talked to with a professional where you do have sensitivities to them though.
I wish you the best in finding a specialist you like who can help you in your journey!

MariaBend25 · December 2016

I understand your perspective exactly as it is where I feel at as well. Really want a family but trying to find the positives to no kids

the good news (???) is that with an egg problem that can be treated much easier than contributing sperm problems. Depends how far you guys want to go I guess. Best of luck to you, and always stay strong with your hubby.

timelessnomad · December 2016

Thanks for all the positive outlooks everyone. I'm setting up an appointment for January with a RE and this month I'm trying out the Clearblue Fertility monitor so we shall see how that goes. I didn't take the Clomid this month as I'd rather take it under the guidance of an RE. So fingers crossed for a Christmas miracle but if not I'll move on to next steps.

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