Bedtime routines, especially if bed sharing? — The Bump
February 2016 Moms

Bedtime routines, especially if bed sharing?

Here we are at nearly 10 months and back to a near nightly struggle to get DD to sleep. The swing has completely lost its magic, now she'll only fall asleep on DH or I and even then it can take an hour or more. Any recommendations for successful evening, dinner, bedtime routine? Especially curious about those who are bed sharing.

Re: Bedtime routines, especially if bed sharing?

  • Lurking from January -

    we dont bed share but do have a pretty regular bedtime routine so thought I might help. I also have a good friend with an almost one year old who bed shares and has had luck as well.

    my LO was a terrible sleeper until we started a routine but we also had to do some CIO around 7 months. 

    we both work and get home between 430-530 depending on the day. But every night we do dinner (cheerios, puffs, water and whatever we're eating) then play A LOT until about 630-7 and then we do a bath if needed if not it's PJs, bottle (she somewhat still takes this one), two books then we go into her room. When we go in we turn on her sound machine, humidifier, and night light then turn off the lamp. She likes a hug from me then her dad and then we lay her down. we've gotten to a point where we literally lay her down and she will roll over and go to sleep or talk softly to herself until she falls asleep.

    i think the biggest factors that helped us get here are the fact that she loves her "lovey" which she's had since birth and is just a small swatch of blanket she rubs with her hands and then a pretty strict eating schedule and nap schedule (not that she naps much at daycare). It also just took consistency, we did this for along time before we saw such results, so it can work just takes time! 

    It can be done, my girl was a seriously awful sleeper we just had to keep at it. 

    as for my friend that bed shares they do something similar but she lays with him and rubs his back until he is out, he for sure went through phases where he just wanted to play but she had to be firm that bed is for sleeping not being rowdy. It for sure has its extra challenges (but is obviously so rewarding) my girl just will not sleep with us we found that she needs her own space to truly get a good nights rest. 

    I do hope this helps. Sleep is so important for everyone! 
  • We bed share,dinner around 6then bath and nighttime lotion about half hour later.after that we play a while then around 730-745 we go to our room read two books then he nurses to sleep.he absolutely won't fall asleep any other way any time of day.not sure how to fix that but for now its working for us")happy baby so I'm not in a rush to change it
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  • jarob747jarob747 member
    edited December 2016
    We bed share as well, we usually start our routine about 730 745. We eat dinner around 6:00, then play. If it's bath night we start at 7:30 if it's not we start at 7:45. So depending on the night we'll do a bath or not and then lotion and massage, a book, I sing a couple songs as I'm rocking him, nurse him to sleep then I lay him in his crib to start out the night. Of hubby is putting him to bed on the two nights I work he gives him a bottle then rocks him to sleep. Frequently he would wake up as soon as we layed him down and cry sometimes I could pick him back up and get him to a deeper sleep within minutes but if that doesn't work sometimes it would take an hour or so and then if I layed him down and he would wake up I would let him CIO For a few minutes to get tired and burn off some frustration, which I was completely against, but I couldn't spend and hour or two every night getting him to sleep just to have him wake up. I would definitely do it and I love rocking, holding him to sleep if he would just stay asleep, but he don't. So... CIO was the only option. We were doing it for about 4 nights when he got his first cold then I didn't have the heart for it although it was getting better. Anyways, after he went down in his crib, he sleeps for a 2-4 hrs then wakes up and then I bring him to bed with me and he nurses to sleep. I just need a couple hours in the evening after he goes to bed so this is working. 
    When he is all better we will pick up on the sleep training again for him. And hopefully get him to transition to his crib all NightBut not right now. 
    Whatever you do, just give it time. A week at least and yes believe it or not, it will get easier to get her to sleep. She just has to learn a new way to get to sleep. Whatever way you choose still enjoy it cause this too shall pass and you will miss it. My son is the world's worst sleeper ever... in the history of forever!!! But one day be won't be :) so I will enjoy the hour long rocking and baby bed snuggles and wakings every coue hours at least for a little while longer. 
    ETA: If I do have to let him CIO for a few minutes I go back in and it's usually much easier to rock him for a few minutes and then put him down in his crib and then he doesn't wake up and he will sleep his 2-4 hr stretch. 
  • Thanks, everyone! I think the number one thing for us right now is to establish a bedtime routine and really stick to it! I am comfortable with her bed sharing right now but like PP said, would enjoy a couple hours of my own first. We'll keep at it....this too shall pass!
  • I really need to establish a bedtime routine for my little guy. he's a terrible sleeper, and unfortunately I think I've contributed to the problems.
    He nurses ALL NIGHT LONG. He nurses to sleep because thats the only way he will fall asleep. And he sleeps maybe a solid 3-4 hours until he starts waking between every 20-45mins until we wake up for the day. so each time he wakes, I just nurse him back to sleep. and I'm pretty sure it's comfort nursing because he's pretty much weaned himself during the day (except for naps).
    I love bed sharing and snuggling, but it's been months since I've had a solid nights sleep :(
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  • I'm glad I'm not the only one with a terrible sleeper. Even after I bring him to bed with me, he's not a solid sleeper and be nurses frequently in the night too. I would love to keep bedsharing but I know he needs better sleep. That's the only reason we are even considering sleep training. 
    A routine is so important! I could do better at ours but it certainly helps to have one established. 
    Hugs :)
  • Let's see our LO is 10 months and bed sharing he nurses at night. Typically I wouldn't mind but it's really starting to beat me up he tosses and turns and hubby snores so it's all catching up. On a regular day he is home from daycare around 6pm. We eat dinner he plays around until 7:30. Since I don't bath him daily we read a book or I will lay down and nurse him until he falls asleep. This is where it gets tricky because he will sleep in his crib until daddy and I come in the room for good I swear he senses it next thing he's in the bed with us. I've resorted to sleeping on the sofa and I've noticed he sleeps better without me as the dependable pacificer and milk on tap lol. I know that he will be in his bed eventually until them, I'm happy it's a new sofa! 
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