Thanks for the support ladies, I knew you'd understand @colleenkevin@kaytastic25@cjs260 I did send my OB a message last night asking about travel and put in a little side not that I was looking for a reason NOT to travel. She whipped back a "no travel after 36 weeks" message so fast for me! (My OB is great!) So now I can just tell my mom no way no how and she'll just have to deal. Even my MIL (who is also awesome) was like, "um, no, you're the one driving the bus on this thing, you make the rules"
Now I'm just dreading the tantrum my mom is going to throw lol
@Kittievr4 It's mind boggling that a parent would be demanding their pregnant daughter go 4 hours to them so close to her due date. Hopefully your mom gets her priorities straight! I'm sorry you have the added stress of dealing with her! Yay for your OB btw!
*Your mom's exact words gave me the shivers because it sounds like something my mom would say. My mom likes to manipulate things to get what she wants.
@Kittievr4 It's mind boggling that a parent would be demanding their pregnant daughter go 4 hours to them so close to her due date. Hopefully your mom gets her priorities straight! I'm sorry you have the added stress of dealing with her! Yay for your OB btw!
*Your mom's exact words gave me the shivers because it sounds like something my mom would say. My mom likes to manipulate things to get what she wants.
So much yes, she does this all the time, the guilt trips, manipulation, and "pretending" she hasn't heard something when I've clearly told her numerous times. It just makes me sad more than anything that she feels like she has to act like this. If she wasn't my mother, I wouldn't want to be her friend.
@kelseyh62 all she has said is that since my blood pressure looks fine and there is no protein in my urine that it's just normal pregnancy swelling. On Monday, I weighed in the morning and I weighed at night just for fun - there was a literal 10 lb difference. I told my ob about it, and she just said that some people just retain water worse than others and that I have no other symptoms of pre-e.
@cjs260 that's insane! Make sure to keep taking care of yourself. Definitely going to be talking to my doc about my swollen-ness tomorrow. I just hope all the extra fluid will at least leave quickly once baby is here!
@kelseyh62 I've always had the ability to hang onto water well, haha. Even not pregnant, I've been able to swing a 5lb weight difference from morning to night. So, I'm just keeping an eye on it! I hope your swelling gets better! I've found that massages and epsom salt soaks tend to help!
The holidays were a huge issue for my IL's as well. Ultimately I just said there was no way I was travelling to the farm and after a lot of bickering and plans changing everyone agreed to come to our place for Christmas. All of DH's siblings live in our city so it's literally just his parents coming to us. I can't believe it was ever a fight to begin with seeing we could easily have the baby by then... we ended up having to host because no one else is cable to cook the meal apparently. My poor DH will likely be cooking it all by himself. So thankful for him!
My family could care less when and where we do Christmas but most of us live in the same city as well...so they were flexible!
So I awkwardly talked with my mom. Told her we wouldn't be coming down and if she wanted to come up they'd be welcome. She got super silent for what felt like 5 minutes and said "well what did your doctor say?" (EXCUSE ME?!) Thankfully, my OB is awesome so I was prepared with that and she was just like "oh" and attempted to pout at me, like it would suddenly change my mind.
I get a call from her the next day saying they'd come up for xmas and would friday through monday work. Here's the new craziness: My dad is now jumping in on this awfulness by saying Christmas eve should ONLY be immediate family, and that means, him, my mom, me, DD and Hubby (at least, that's what it means to him). I flat out told him that isn't my immediate family anymore, it also includes Hubby's. "Well, they aren't MY family" he says. Well, then maybe you miss out on some shit, dad.
@Kittievr4 sounds similar to how my Christmas plans are going. My MIL wants it just MIL, FIL, BIL, and us (she likes to give money but not when other people are around) but we also have my mom, her bf and his son, my brother and his gf who has no family in town, our friends who moved across the country to be near us and their 3 kids. DH is going to talk to her about coming for breakfast or earlier than everyone else, but I'm not telling my family and our friends who have no one they can't come. I kinda miss the days when it was just our small, 3 person family lol
Me: 33 DH: 38 Married: 1/10/15
1st Pregnancy EDD: 1/1/17 Born 1/10/17 Team Green turned Blue!
2nd Pregnancy EDD: 11/6/18 Born 11/09/18 Baby Boy!
3rd Pregnancy EDD: 12/?/21
Children are like casseroles; it takes a lot to mess them up.
@Kittievr4 sounds similar to how my Christmas plans are going. My MIL wants it just MIL, FIL, BIL, and us (she likes to give money but not when other people are around) but we also have my mom, her bf and his son, my brother and his gf who has no family in town, our friends who moved across the country to be near us and their 3 kids. DH is going to talk to her about coming for breakfast or earlier than everyone else, but I'm not telling my family and our friends who have no one they can't come. I kinda miss the days when it was just our small, 3 person family lol
ugh, so frustrating. Hubby and I realized last night while talking that he and I have NEVER spent an xmas eve just us. We've always accommodated my mother. So that's gotta change. Family certainly doesn't have to mean the more the merrier (I don't think I could handle it getting TOO crazy) but it should be the people that are most important to you, and that definition changes over the years!
Re: crazy MILs.....
Now I'm just dreading the tantrum my mom is going to throw lol
*Your mom's exact words gave me the shivers because it sounds like something my mom would say. My mom likes to manipulate things to get what she wants.
My family could care less when and where we do Christmas but most of us live in the same city as well...so they were flexible!
I get a call from her the next day saying they'd come up for xmas and would friday through monday work. Here's the new craziness: My dad is now jumping in on this awfulness by saying Christmas eve should ONLY be immediate family, and that means, him, my mom, me, DD and Hubby (at least, that's what it means to him). I flat out told him that isn't my immediate family anymore, it also includes Hubby's. "Well, they aren't MY family" he says. Well, then maybe you miss out on some shit, dad.
WHY ARE PARENTS SO FRUSTRATING?!
Me: 33 DH: 38 Married: 1/10/15
1st Pregnancy EDD: 1/1/17 Born 1/10/17 Team Green turned Blue!
2nd Pregnancy EDD: 11/6/18 Born 11/09/18 Baby Boy!
3rd Pregnancy EDD: 12/?/21
Children are like casseroles; it takes a lot to mess them up.
BFP1 12/24/14 - EDD 09/07/15 (D/C 8w1d)
BFP2 6/12/15 - EDD 2/22/16 (D/C 10w3d)
———
Diagnoses and Treatments
PCOS (myo-inositol, excercize)
Indeterminant levels of APS IgM antibodies (baby aspirin)
Sub-septate uterus (hysteroscopic septoplasty 12/18/15)
———
BFP3 05/02/16 EDD 01/09/17 DS born 01/05/17
BFP4 01/28/19 EDD 10/?/19 🤞🙏
ugh, so frustrating. Hubby and I realized last night while talking that he and I have NEVER spent an xmas eve just us. We've always accommodated my mother. So that's gotta change. Family certainly doesn't have to mean the more the merrier (I don't think I could handle it getting TOO crazy) but it should be the people that are most important to you, and that definition changes over the years!