Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
Re: Small Private Practice vs. Large healthcare system
Years ago, when I first moved to the Cities, I had terrible insurance. Pretty much the only clinics that were covered were HealthPartners. But I was young-ish, and healthy-ish, an really just needed someone to see for my annual exam and bc prescription. So I asked a coworker for a recommendation and went with it... And then stayed with the clinic because I was too lazy to move.
Over the years, I started to have issues. I was pretty sure that I had PCOS (I do), but they refused to do any testing or treatment about it. Their answer was "we'll deal with it when it causes an issue, like you can't get pregnant." I also had an ex- report that they had been diagnosed with something. I requested to be tested for the whole gamut - the clinic refused to test for anything other than the one sti. I asked to have my thyroid tested, they claimed I didn't have enough symptoms to justify the test...
I finally got pregnant this spring. They confirmed it with a urine test, (plus, now they ran every sti test in the book). My normal NP "didn't do pregnancy," so I carefully selected from their midwives. She was nice enough the first time we met, but clearly didn't even take a second to glance at my history and was almost an hour late for my appt. Over the next few weeks, I called the nurse line with a few concerns, but felt shushed and dismissed each time.
Finally was time for my first ultrasound... And we found out that I had had a missed miscarriage. The sonographer wasn't allowed to break the news, so I had to sit awkwardly, half-naked, waiting for a doc I'd never met to come into the room, whisper to the sonographer like I couldn't hear, and then coldly tell me that my baby died. And then I had to wait another 45minutes to meet with the midwife, who walked in and introduced herself like we had never met. And then basically bullied me into scheduling a d&c.
Luckily(?) my body figured it out over the weekend and I was able to pass it on my own, in the ER. So two weeks later I went back to the doctor's office like the ER advised. Of course, I couldn't see my original NP, because this was still "baby related" and the new one was unavailable, so new doc it is. And guess what... he was an hour late for my appt, too. Know what's not awesome? Sitting in a combo ob/ped's waiting room bawling your eyes out. I asked, and it turns out that reception was not allowed to call to tell me that the doc was running late and they overbook rooms, so they couldn't let me sit in an exam room to wait.
After all that, I became incredibly convinced that this clinic was doing all that they could save themselves money. Once I looked at bills, I realized that they were also adding on billing "add-on codes" left and right. The ten second conversation that we had about my weight ended up costing us $50, because I was now a "high risk" pregnancy.
(I should add that I had this issue at HealthPartners, but have heard similar horror stories from friends who transferred from Fairview, HealthEast, and Allina clinics as well.)
So I began the search for a new doc. Read all the "best doctor's" lists, searched the boards, asked friends and family, and finally scheduled an appt. Making sure to find a clinic that would "allow" me a natural birth in the hospital was important, so I was nervous to go away from a midwife. But this clinic assured me that they would support the plan.
Surprise, surprise, my old clinic delayed in sending records, and the new clinic almost rescheduled because they felt it important to read my history. When the new doc entered the exam room the first day, it was clear that she had reviewed my records and had a list of questions and some choice words about the old clinic. Before I left, we had a 6-week game plan to finally clarify my PCOS diagnosis, look at my thyroid, and test for a few things that she thought might have contributed to the miscarriage and the length of time that it took us to get pregnant. I ended up back for 3 other appts for diagnostics and each time a nurse practitioner called me the next day with results. I had a question about one of them and my actual doctor called back with the answer.
Two months later, we found out we were pregnant again. This office has taken my health, the baby's health, and my understood anxiety very seriously. I had blood draws to confirm the pregnancy and to make sure that hormones were going up. I've had early ultrasounds to check growth. They are advocating with my insurance to make sure that the NT test is covered. Hubby needed to see a doctor about something they found in his testing and they made sure to recommend a specific one that they knew. I've now met two of the docs, 3 NPs, 2 sonographers, a handful of nurses, and of course the front desk ladies. All have been very professional, kind, encouraging, and reassuring. It's incredible. I've also always been able to get appointments on my schedule without much of a problem (except, I had to wait for the first appt, because they only do one new patient per day and my work schedule was crazy).
Literally, my only complaint is that I have to pay for parking. But the office is much closer to my house and work, so I save driving in traffic. It's also attached to the hospital that I'll be delivering in, so if I go into labor on a weekday, my doc will visit between appts and possibly even deliver me, even if she's not on duty.
Very long story short -- I am sooooooo glad that I switched to a private clinic. (OGI in Edina or Maple Grove, if you are curious)
A few friends have also used the midwives at HealthEast and have had great experiences if you want to go that route too.
From my understanding, some of the private practices don't guarantee a certain doctor to be with you at delivery, they will just send whoever is on call, in my case my doctor was 100% available and was there to deliver my daughter.
I would recommend St. John's in Maplewood-- easy parking, hospital rooms are large, nurses are great!
TTC since May 2014.
Aug 2014 BFP, EDD April 22, 2015. Low progesterone, started suppositories. Loss at 5w6d.
Nov 19, 2015 BFP at 13 dpo, EDD July 29, 2016. MMC discovered 12/29 (9+4). Natural miscarriage 1/16 (12+1).
AMH results 0.42, 1.2; FSH 12.1, AFC 10, dx DOR.
RPL testing results normal. Nurse recommended progesterone suppositories in TWW.
Clomid + trigger + TI cycle August 2016 - failed. Thin lining.
Femara + trigger + TI cycle December 2016 - failed. Thin lining.
Short LP (8 days).
Acupuncture & Chinese herbs starting January 2017, lengthened LP to 10 days
Summer 2016 LFAF awards:
Winter 2016/2017 LFAF awards: