Grandparents

rachelgreene-2 · December 2016

Let's talk about grandparents.

My parents already have grand babies so their names have already been decided. My kids will call my mom Ba Ngoai and my dad Ong Ngoai which are traditional Vietnamese titles which I also called my maternal grandparents. All of us grandkids eventually made up our own nicknames for our grand parents though, as has my sister's kids for our parents.

This will be the first grand child for my in-laws and after we had announced to them that a grand baby was on the way, my mother in law immediately started thinking of names for herself. I don't know what she has narrowed it down to but I know she doesn't want to be called "grandma".

What will/do your babies call their grandparents? Did you decide on the name? Did you let the grandparent decide? Or did your baby end up choosing the name themselves?

Ekzerr · December 2016

DH's mom and Dad are grandma (and since his parents are divorced she always insists on stating her last name every time because she changed it back to her maiden name lol) and grandpa and his granny is great-granny.

My family has strong Ukrainian roots so my parents are Baba and Didi (pronounced like Gigi) and my grandpa is great-Didi! We like it because each grandparent has a different name so she always knows who we're referring to!

Eta: for the first few weeks of DDs life DHs mom wanted to be called gamma (and she would call DD a gamma girl) but that never stuck and she wound up as grandma

Mama5181 · December 2016

My wanted to be Grandma but over time she became Granny. My inlaws however wanted to be different....mil wanted to be Mama June, nope vetoed the heck out of that. Eventually she settled on Juju(her name is June) Fil is Papa. But he always spells it Poppa but you can't find that on a mug anywhere soooo i use Papa

KirstinH88 · December 2016

My stepmom prefers to go by Grammy, so that is what the boys call her. And Papa has stuck for my dad. DHs mom and dad go by wuelita and wuelito (shortened/sweetened name for gma and Gpa in Spanish). My stepsons refer to all their other grandparents (even my parents) as "Grandma/Grandpa first name," so that is what has stuck with DS, and that is what they call my mom. I personally think that's a little weird, but whatevs. My sisters kids have always made up their own name for my mom. Some call her grandma. Others call her Nema. And they call my grandma (the kids great grandma), Grapes Grandma because they had a hard time saying Great Grandma.

HGRich · December 2016

My mom just wants to be grandma. My dad wants to be grandpop or papa. My in laws I have no idea. I need to ask them. First grandchild all around so I don't know if they've even thought about it.

dam0ne4 · December 2016

My in Laws already had grandkids so they were already grandma and Papa. My daughter just started calling my parents the same thing. I would let them choose if they had wanted but they are all happy with it

catem07 · December 2016

My mom and stepdad will be nana and pop-pop. I called my mothers parents nanny and pop-pop. My in-laws will probably just be grandma and grandpa. It's the first grandchild all around.

MWoodside · December 2016

They picked their own, I don't see why I should try to have control over what they want to be called.

ILs: papa and Gigi.

my mom and stepdad: Nina (she wanted Nona but DD1 called her Nina and it stuck) & papa Terry. He has since died.

my dad and stepmom: gran and gramps. This was established by my older niece.

cafedisco · December 2016

Ok have we talked about the Grandparent hormone? There's a 50% chance that all middle aged women becoming a grandmother for the first time will go absolutely, completely insane. Fact. I'm currently collecting data so I can write my book on it. Those women who over-think their names are 10 times more likely to go down this dark, frustrating path.

This just took me back to when I was pregnant with DD and my MIL agonizing over her name for about a year. While I get it to a degree, I find it odd to spend so much time/energy worrying about it. A baby learning to talk will decide what he or she wants to call you...regardless of what you want. DH became Dada, even though he wanted to be Daddy. Oh no! Not a different adorable name!

Anyway, my MIL is Gran Mary (makes me snort almost every time, but she's my cracker eater). FIL is Gramps. DD was trying to call them other cute names for a LONG time. They corrected her every single time and spent most of her learning to talk phase just repeating their names to her over and over. And over.

My parents let DD name them (they were Grandma/Grandpa before she did) and now they are Ma and Papa.

justdoit93 · December 2016

My parents are MawMaw and PawPaw, my moms parents are called Gram and Pop, my dads parents are Gramma and Grampa, DHs bio mom and step dad are Grammy and Grampy, his bio dad and step mom are Lolli and Popsie, his moms parents are GiGi and GiGipaw and his dads parents are MeMaw and PePaw. My kids have 3 sets of grandparents and greatparandparets and are the first on ALL sides so I picked names to keep everybody straight! Lots of love over here! Haha

Beckyf321 · December 2016

My daughter was grand baby #5 for my mom, so she was already established as Maw-Maw. I let my in-laws pick their own names as she was their first grand. My FIL knew immediately he wanted to be called Pops and my MIL took her time, eventually picking Mimi. My sister is already a grandmother (she and my niece were both young with their first, 18 and 19 respectively) and she goes by Gigi.

SnarkasaurusRex · December 2016

We let them decide, but everyone kind of accepts that it'll change based on what the kiddos wind up calling them. (For example, my stepFIL started out as G-Paw, like his dad, but his first grandkid couldn't say it so now he is forever Peepaw.

)

My parents are Nana and Gramps, MIL and stepFIL are Grammy and Peepaw, FIL and stepMIL are Papa and Gigi. At 16 months DS can say Gigi, Nana, and sometimes Papa if he doesn't get distracted by saying "puppy" instead, haha. I feel like he's on the verge of his "word explosion", so we'll see what everyone else winds up being.

I really wanted to be Mama, but my kid says Mommy clear as day, so I can't really argue with that, haha. DH wants to just be Dad or Daddy, but DS calls him Mommy too.

HappyAnjel · December 2016

Me parents are Nana and Papa, my ILs are Grandma and Grandpa.. my parents just always referred to themselves as that.. my inlaws already are Grandma and Grandpa to their other grandkids and it stuck with DD as well

Blueberry85 · December 2016

Ours are pretty standard and were chosen by the grandparents. DD is currently the only grandchild on both sides. My parents are Gramma and Grampa, which is what I always called my grand parents, and the ILs are Granny and Granda, which is the usual in the UK (where they live). My mom wanted to be something other than Gramma initially, I think because her mom, my Gramma, died 2 years before DD was born and the association made her sad, but Gramma just kind of happened anyways for all of us. Pretty sure she's happy with Gramma now, though

Caressa1 · December 2016

My mom and MIL both go by grandma and if we want to be more specific we say "Grandma (first name)". FIL is grandpa. These might change if the kids get older and give them nicknames.

belocin · December 2016

My parents already had their names established by my niece and nephew so they go by G'ma and Pap. My MIL is Grandma *last name* and my grandmother (DD's great-grandma) is Gigi. DD can't say the names well yet but she can point to them when asked where they are. Finding my parents names on anything is pretty much impossible!

lovelongdog06 · December 2016

DHs parents will be Grandma and Grandpa Lastname and my dad will be Grandpa Firstname. My mom calls herself grandma but she hasn't earned the title. I haven't decided her level of involvement in my kids lives yet but I'd rather it be more cordial than family. DS says papa for grandpa but at the moment we're not changing it.

rachelgreene-2 · December 2016

@cafedisco I'm actually super paranoid that my MIL will go nuts. She had been asking for grandchildren since my husband and I began dating. She means well, but sometimes the guilt trips were a lot to handle. And I have heard too many stories regarding over bearing grandmothers.

Beckyf321 · December 2016

RachelGreene said:

@cafedisco I'm actually super paranoid that my MIL will go nuts. She had been asking for grandchildren since my husband and I began dating. She means well, but sometimes the guilt trips were a lot to handle. And I have heard too many stories regarding over bearing grandmothers.

Do not ever hesitate to set boundaries! This is your child, not hers. My MIL once tried to intervene when I was disciplining my daughter when she was a toddler. Let's just say she never did it again.

HuntersMommi227 · December 2016

My son calls my mom Gammy my Dad Papa My Moms mom Yaya My Moms Dad and Stepmom Oma and Opa

cafedisco · December 2016

@RachelGreene the truth is, she could be wonderful. You really can't know. And you don't know how you will feel about people's involvement.

I really thought I'd be all big extended family, everyone is welcome type of person but in reality, I wanted to be left alone to snuggle my newborn and I found any interference with that anxiety-inducing (sometimes even if it was just DH, but that was rare). So, my mother and MIL both definitely overstepped boundaries (who steals screaming newborns and literally locks themselves in another room while the only human who can feed them pounds on the door?!), but I think even a normal person would have bugged me, if that makes sense.

pinkshades05 · December 2016

My parents are grandma and grandpa. We let DH's pick his name and he went with granddad. DH's mom isn't as involved with the kids so she got "grandma" as well. She tried to get DD1 to call her "Nana" but we didn't see her enough.

Dannylion24 · December 2016

My inlaws are Gigi and Pop and my parents are Mimi and Pop - the two Pops can get a little confusing, but the kids seemed to figure out pretty early that there was a Gigi's Pop and a Mimi's Pop. My grandma (my mom's mom) is "big grandma" to the kids. We lost all the rest of the great grandparents in the last few years, but they ranged from Nan to Mum-mum to Big grandpa.

mylittleirvz · December 2016

My parents are Grandma and Papaw (he started this as a joke because of Duck Dynasty and it stuck haha) and DH's dad is grandpa but DS has only ever seen him once. DH doesn't have a relationship with his mom and I have never met her and I doubt our kids ever will either.
My grandparents are Granddad and Grandma which is what we always called them growing up too. Like @dannylion24, the two grandma's can get confusing but DS has pretty easily been able to distinguish the two depending on which male name we pair with it.

bww_0331 · December 2016

Both sets of grandparents will be going by Grandma and Grandpa. Probably followed by their first name for clarification. I think my mom is really excited to just be called "Grandma" and not any variation. Or at least all of the baby clothes she has purchased that say "Grandma" something or other give that indication.

teamla-2 · December 2016

My kids' paternal grandparents go by Grandma and Grandpa and my parents are Gram and Grandad. We're open to whatever the kids want to call them though - sometimes some new name evolves despite whatever they want to go by. My aunt's grandchildren all have a special name for her and I had one for my grandpa, thanks to cute mispronounciations.

rachelgreene-2 · December 2016

@cafedisco I'm 98% sure that you will be right. I'm sure my MIL will be a wonderful grandmother. She has been nothing but a wonderful MIL so it would be silly to assume she will be anything other than a wonderful grandmother. It's most likely my crazy over thinking pregnancy brain.

I love all the grandparent names. They are so cute. I especially liked what everyone's little ones ended up using.

SnarkasaurusRex · December 2016

RachelGreene said:

@cafedisco I'm actually super paranoid that my MIL will go nuts. She had been asking for grandchildren since my husband and I began dating. She means well, but sometimes the guilt trips were a lot to handle. And I have heard too many stories regarding over bearing grandmothers.

I was worried that my MIL would go nuts too, but it turns out that it was my own mother that became the complete whackadoo. Just be firm with your boundaries and set the tone early...my mom learned fast that I wasn't going to let her walk all over me in regards to what I wanted for my son.

pammasu0909 · December 2016

My son was the first grandkid on DH's side. MIL changed what she wanted to be called 40 times and made me insane. Now she goes by grammy. My kids are #'s 5+ on my side, so my parents names were pretty set - grandma and grandpa.

rachelmiller03 · December 2016

DS was the first on my side, the 10th on DH's side. This baby will be 2nd on my side, and 13th on DH's side. His mom already goes by Mamaw (which I hate). His dad and step-mom are Papaw Dan and Grandma Jen.
My mom didnt know if she wanted to be Grandma Last-name (which is also what I call my Grandma, and what she called her Grandma), or what. I like Grammy, so I call her that to my son. He doesn't really talk yet, but I hope it sticks! I tell him to "go to Grammy" and he runs to her.

jennielynn+ · December 2016

In-laws are Grandpa and Shaa-Shaa. My parents are Bachi and Papa Los. My two kids are/will be the 4th and 6th grandkids for my parents. My mom likes to be called Bachi and is by the older grandkids. I call my mom Grandma in front of my daughter and she is still 1 so, she calls her nothing much. The kids will call them what they want. If a grandparent insists on a particular name, that is up to them to teach the kid. Personally, I think all the nickname stuff is kind of silly. It is important to my mom and my MIL so, I leave it in their hands.

schef070911 · December 2016

This is the first for my folks and they want to be called Oma and Opa (German terms for grandparents). My ILs have 3 granddaughters already so they've established themselves as Grandma and Opa. All my nieces learned to say "Opa" correctly way before "Grandma", so I think those names will probably stick!

Good to hear from people whose children didn't have trouble with two grandparents with the same name. I worried a bit about this but I think I've concluded that kids are resilient and grandparents have the right to choose their name, even if they're the same. If there's confusion they can be "Opa S" and "Opa K".

ashleym112 · December 2016

cafedisco said:

Ok have we talked about the Grandparent hormone? There's a 50% chance that all middle aged women becoming a grandmother for the first time will go absolutely, completely insane. Fact. I'm currently collecting data so I can write my book on it. Those women who over-think their names are 10 times more likely to go down this dark, frustrating path.

This just took me back to when I was pregnant with DD and my MIL agonizing over her name for about a year. While I get it to a degree, I find it odd to spend so much time/energy worrying about it. A baby learning to talk will decide what he or she wants to call you...regardless of what you want. DH became Dada, even though he wanted to be Daddy. Oh no! Not a different adorable name!

Anyway, my MIL is Gran Mary (makes me snort almost every time, but she's my cracker eater). FIL is Gramps. DD was trying to call them other cute names for a LONG time. They corrected her every single time and spent most of her learning to talk phase just repeating their names to her over and over. And over.

My parents let DD name them (they were Grandma/Grandpa before she did) and now they are Ma and Papa.

^ bolded part is my MIL completely. Part of her issue is that it's hard for her to let go of the fact that she's not the only woman in DH's life anymore and doesn't have to answer to her. She has zero boundaries as well, so it was a struggle to set them especially since DH can be passive and a people pleaser. It's getting better over time but it was difficult when DS was born.

She insists on being called Mimi, which DH and I hate. She also insists FIL be called Pap-paw, which is fine but we're more let the kid decide type of people. They do what was mentioned above, constantly correcting and repeating until they sounded like the seagulls from Finding Nemo. It was excessive. My niece calls my step-dad Papa, my mom Mama (calls my sister Mommy so to her its different), and randomly calls me Yay-yay. We like that she picked her own names for us. DS calls my dad, step-dad, and FIL all Papa but doesn't say anything for grandma yet. He knows who they are though if you tell him to give them something or whatever.

I understand cultural and family traditions, but I think other people just focus on it way to hard. Whatever the kid calls you is going to be cute so just roll with it.

JainaTenel · December 2016

My SIL insisted that all grandparents would be 'Grandma/Grandpa First Name', despite the fact that my mom has been saying that she always wanted to be called "Grammy". It also offended my mother that it was using her first name - we were always taught that it was polite and respectful to use the last name. I always called my grandparents Grandma and Grandpa D***** (their last name). That being said, when my DS was born last December, I have always referred to my mom as Grammy and my DS lights up when I tell him we are going to see Grammy. My dad is Gramps and my paternal grandmother is GiGi, (shortened from 'Great-Grandma').
MIL and FIL had already decided on Nana and Papa when DH's nephews were born.

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My son calls my mom Gammy my Dad Papa My Moms mom Yaya My Moms Dad and Stepmom Oma and Opa

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