Monday Bitchfest 11.28.2016 — The Bump
October 2016 Moms

Monday Bitchfest 11.28.2016

Re: Monday Bitchfest 11.28.2016

  • It's my last week at home with baby before I go back to work next week. I want to cry everytime i think about this. Luckily DH is taking 2 weeks paternity leave so we don't have to put her in daycare just yet...I am soooo dreading that day :(
  • I am sleep deprived and feeling very body negative and I just feel like there's not enough hours in the day. H works nights so our schedule through the week is all messed and then on the weekends we try to have a normal daytime routine which is hard.... And everyone makes such a big deal about H making sure he gets his sleep and how he needs to be so well rested, but it's apparent that my sleep just isn't quite as important.. And I mean I get it, he's going to work and providing for our family and I'm incredibly thankful for that, but I'm tired too. I'm exhausted in fact. I'm having sort of a hard time with the transition of having two kids. I just didn't think it would be this hard, and I don't really have help from family so it just makes everything a little more difficult. 
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  • I just realized that my maternity leave ends next week. I just can't believe how quickly this time has gone by!
    kmyers228
  • My LO's father is consistently late to his Monday morning visits and never tells me he's going to be late until when I'm expecting him to walk through the door. And then he wants to complain about feeling like he doesn't get enough time with her, even though I've told him he can be here as early as he wants and never tell him when he has to leave. He chooses to be late. That's on him. And my suspicion as to why he's late on Mondays? Sunday night football causing him to stay up late. 

    Oh and we won't even talk about him springing a visit by his family on me at 5:00 when I'm expecting him (alone) at 5:30. 

  • Shout out to you bad bitch working moms! I remember the FTM/working mom struggle... Hugs! It's a sad first few days, but it will be just fine, and routine in no time :) I would assign your H's a nighttime feeding now if they don't already do one, equal out that distribution of household labor some!
    Speaking of, @christinab0722 I'm sorry about your situation, I know your schedule is rougher than others'. Just know that it WILL get easier, and as I'm sure you've heard before and am probably sick of hearing, do try to nap when the kids nap. I put both of my LOs down at 1:00pm come hell or highwater and either rest or squeeze in every drop of housework I can before they wake up, depending on how I feel that day.
    @jek2016 Have you actually discussed this issue with him before? I'm sure you have, but if not, it's unlikely he'll take any initiative to change his actions or meet your expectations without you laying down exactly what it is you expect from him.
    queen_frostineKittens22
  • So I'm just having one of those moments... Again today. DS1 was quite literally up ALL night last night. Like every hour, and when H got home from work at 4am he was up with him for two hours. DS2 cried all evening yesterday and that coupled with his brothers bed time behavior I'm absolutely beat today. I think DS2 might be somewhat colicky bc he's so fussy and after every bottle he curls up and just screams so I switched formula today and got some gripe water so hopefully that helps. DS1 had colic too and I followed Happiest Baby on the Block methods and they really helped... It's just hard to time bc you just never know when the crying will start/stop. Anyone else struggling with fussy babies and toddlers who are acting crazy?!?!? Send help. 
  • @kmyers228 I'm sorry :( yesterday was my first day back. It sucked. I cried all day Sunday, all the way to daycare and then to work, but it was so sweet to pick him up at 3:00 and have him grin up at me. Today was not as bad. Not fun, but not as bad. 
    AllyTheKidkmyers228
  • Gosh. I feel guilty for having an easy nighttime with my boys. I thought having a baby and toddler would be the hardest thing ever, but Odin has blessed me with boys who love their sleep...
    Daytime is another story though. One would think Jimmy is a feral child snatched directly from wilderness from the way he acts! He grunts like a caveman and points to anything he wants, will only say "Daddy", climbs over and crawls under anything he can possible fit his body on or around (and sometimes gets stuck or wedged in tight places), and tinkers with EVERYTHING. He kind of reminds me of a chimp haha Johnny is just laid back and cool as cucumber. Until he's hungry or drops his pacifier anyway. Then he's a jerk.
    kmyers228queen_frostine
  • @christinab0722 How old is your DS2? Willow went through a rough patch around 5 weeks where she was very colicky and would scream for a couple of hours each night. It was awful, but she seems to be past it now (*knocks on wood*). We started giving her probiotic drops and I think they helped with the tummy issues that were contributing to her colic. It might be worth a shot! I hope things get easier for you soon. 
    AllyTheKid
  • @ashleyp625 yes, this will definitely be me in a couple weeks when I have to bring her to daycare :( I cry just thinking about it, or when I drove by the daycare the other day haha. I know everyone says it gets easier but until that point, it's just gonna suck. How old is your LO now? I feel like having to put them in daycare around 6-8 weeks is just so young, but don't have a choice.  I need to win the lottery and become a SAHM.  That's so cute you got a smile from him when you picked him up!
  • I swore up and down that I wasn't going to co-sleep with LO since we already co-sleep with a toddler and our bed can only fit so many little kids. Well last night he ended up in my bed and he slept for six and a half hours straight.  

      On another no I'm also mad, upset, sad, disappointed at life, that my oldest had another seizure. This is after not having one for over 2 years and finally being taken off his medicine.  I hate when my kids suffer, especially when I can't make it go away. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
  •  I just posted on the wrong forum, so sorry. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
  • @BabySunshine4 Oh no! =( I'm so sorry about your oldest. We're currently weaning LO off of his medicine and I'm mortified of him having another seizure once he's off... I wish I had something comforting to say, but I am new to this and all I have to offer is solidarity ::hugs::
    BabySunshine4
  • @ball4768 LO is 6.5 weeks today. I switched over to the sensitive formula yesterday but the docs said it would be two weeks before I notice any change. DS1 had colic and currently has lactose issues so it doesn't surprise me. I also got some gripe water.... How old was your LO when she started feeling better or you noticed a change?!? Also what probiotics do you use? The peds office mentioned we could try a probiotic but never mentioned which one. Thanks for the help in advance. 

    Also, hugs to all you mamas getting ready to go back to work. I'm a SAHM now which has its own ups and downs, but I went back full time after DS1. My parents were my sitters but it didn't make it any easier. It is HARD leaving LO in the care of someone else all day. I know the pain... HUGS to you all. 
    kmyers228BabySunshine4
  • @AllyTheKid I've talked to him about it but it's like nothing gets through to him. I've just put my foot down that her schedule will not change to accommodate him and if he doesn't want to follow the times we've set up then that's on him. It's just inconsiderate and I think that's what makes me the most pissed. 

    Good thoughts to to all about to go back to work. I'll be there in January and I'm dreading it already. 

    kmyers228
  • @christinab0722 We use the Gerber Soothe probiotic drops. It took about a week before we saw improvement. Good luck mama! 
  • @kmyers228 8 weeks. He was supposed to go at 6 weeks but thankfully I got approved for two extra weeks.
    kmyers228
  • Why, oh why, do I get so debilitatingly depressed in the mornings? I have things I need to be doing, but instead I'm just laying curled up on the couch feeling sorry for myself.
    For no reason.
  • Are my expectations too high? My h has been slowly backing off and not helping with the baby. I shouldn't have to ask him to do anything. He gets up early but I haven't gotten more than 2 hours of sleep in a row for almost two months. I wish he would just offer or do something without me asking. And when he does finally help... he always needs time to do something or grab him something... umm... NO! I feel like I need to just leave them to spend the day together so he realizes how much I do. I go back to work in a week and there needs to be some major changes happening. 

    Does anyone have advice? This man-child needs to grow up fast!
    Kimberly
    DS #1 11/08/10
    DS #2 due 10/20/16
  • @AllyTheKid I can relate... getting motivated has been rough. I'd rather take naps all day and ignore everything else. I think it's because I am exhausted... and this is how I've coped. 
    Kimberly
    DS #1 11/08/10
    DS #2 due 10/20/16
  • @Cakimmy30 Have you talked to your H about how you feel? I know how it feels to want your partner to offer up help on his own, but realistically men just have it in their minds that you've got it under control. If we don't tell them when we don't have it under control or when we want help, they just assume we don't need it. That being said, I would let him know that you want him to be more attentive and to offer a hand when a hand seems due. Talk to him about work, and that this is going to have to be a team-effort, so he needs to start getting some practice in. Chances are if you take the time to calmly and lovingly to express your needs, he'll jump right on board :)
    Kittens22
  • Bc I'm having a real doozy of a week I need to post here again.... For the record, I. Am. Tired. I apparently forgot just how HARD it is with a newborn and now balancing that with a toddler. I know we all have struggles but this week has been so hard for me and my kids. The baby is going through those 6 week development changes and is constantly fussy and my 4 yo has decided that he never needs to sleep.. As in, he was up from 1am to 5 when H got home from work... Which means I was up all night with a child who normally sleeps 10-12 hours a night. My family can't really help me and I don't really have any friends that are close enough to help me at night or during the day with either kid. H is so busy/miserable with work and I just feel like such a failure right now. I can't seem to get it together, and I feel like such a drain to my family. I went through this with DS1 but I knew I was going back to work and I would get to clear my head there, but now knowing I don't have that I just feel like I'm forever stuck in this perpetual cycle of frustration, sleep deprivation, loneliness, and exhaustion. 
  • @christinab0722 hugs to you. I know how difficult it can be with a non-napper toddler and newborn. I let my toddler watch 1 hour of cartoons twice during the day but I cordinate it while the baby is sleeping. That way I can have some quite time to my self. I also go to a YMCA that offers free child watch while I work out. That is my daily thing I look forward to, and it helps a lot with feeling depressed. My only suggestion is in during the craziness of having two little ones is try and find some thing for you. 
    Pregnancy Ticker
    AllyTheKid
  • Is your DS a cryer? If not, I would tell his little butt to go back to bed and lay there quietly. My DD went through a phase like that when she was 3 after I had my 16-month-old, but I nipped it in the bud fast. When she would get up I told her "No, it is bed time. Everybody has to sleep. Go lay down." If she cried, I just reminded her EVERYBODY has to sleep. Mom, dad, brothers, and HER. She was never the temper tantrum type though so it worked out pretty fast. Giving her a night light helped a bunch, because initially she was just scared of the dark.
    I also second finding something for YOU. I know it seems hard, but one thing I do is load up the boys in their double stroller and just walk. They are still with me, but it still doubles as "me time" because they are too busy taking in the sights and are usually quiet or fall asleep.
    You're not a failure, your still finding your groove. Do you and your H ever have any time together? It might help if you guys try to set aside some cuddle time before he leaves for work. I've noticed when I feel stressed and overwhelmed and sad, sometimes just having a bit of time with FI, even if it's only 15 minutes or so of just us helps substantially. It's reassuring to me somehow. Hugs to you. I hope things get better soon ♡
  • @AllyTheKid DS is unfortunately a crier... He's such a good kid and I know he's really been through it the past two months, but this getting up at night is just ridiculous. The biggest problem is that he doesn't just get up and play or something, he actually gets up and roams around the house. The past two nights when H has gotten home, DS has just been sitting on the steps waiting on him. It's scary bc he could have an accident or worse what if someone broke in or something. I know it's a lot of worrying but on top of being home alone with two kids at night, it's frustrating me to no end that my oldest is just protesting sleep. He's also doing this thing where he pees every 5 minutes... Like he runs to the bathroom and three drops come out. I just wish to have my normal little boy back. I'm just struggling so hard to find my groove and keep my kids happy and also feel fulfilled. My H is exhausted from working all the time and then He comes home to fight with our 4 year old and he's not getting enough sleep. I just had no idea it would be this hard with two kids. I would love to find my own 'thing' but I don't really know what it would be. I don't really have hobbies and all of my friends are busy with their kids and what not throughout the day so it's also very lonely. 
  • I remember your situation being more difficult than many- that being said, "this too shall pass". Try to keep your sanity intact until things regulate.

    I have no friends or hobbies either, so my "thing" has been either walking with the babes, OR (cue suburban housewife jokes) Doing my Brazil Butt Lift workout DVDs and tracking my progress with my buddies on My Fitness Pal, and talking to my great-aunt about my mundane life and her health problems out of boredom on my landline phone. I know, pitiful. The only things missing from my stereotype are pumpkin spice lattes, Sangria, and Xanax.
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