February 2017 Moms
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Family Matters November
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I'm thinking about making this a monthly thread, now, since we're getting into 3rd trimester and are probably going to have other types of threads come up. Anyone opposed to this?
Re: Family Matters November
He hates my H and loves to talk shit about him to anyone who will listen. His latest target was my sister's fiancée's parents (who I haven't met yet but are very nice people from what I've been told.) My dad rambled on and on to these people about how much he thinks my H sucks to the point that they came up to my sister afterwards and said, "your poor brother in law to have had to deal with your dad all these years." He also sat there and made fun of gay people during their visit (not realizing one of my sister's fiancé's brothers is gay.)
My H is the type who will call anyone out on their bs and always speaks his mind and my dad can't stand him because of that and many other ridiculous reasons. Luckily for my sister's fiancé, he's the complete opposite so he can do no wrong in the eyes of my dad. I warned my dad countless times years ago that until he could learn to have some basic respect for both my H and I as parents and as people, he will not get to be a part of his grandchildren's lives. Very sad, but he made his choice.
He left my mom three years ago and they haven't spoken in about 2.5 but are still married. He also left his kids. He lives by himself in NYC and dropped all communication with our family since leaving my mom. I've seen him three times in three years.
Should be interesting!
My little sister got transferred to an new psychiatric facility last Wednesday, and I'm really upset with the previous facility she was at. They have been telling me for the last two weeks she needed to be transferred to a longer term facility because they only offer "acute care", primarily focus on regulating medication, and don't keep people past a month (she would have been there a month on Wednesday). They felt like she needed at least another 2 months in a more intensive care facility that offered more therapy. So this new facility opened up like 45 minutes away and they decided to go ahead and transfer her there. I was told by her therapist that this new facility would be more long term like she needed.
Come to find out, it's not. I talked to the new facility today and was told I was given wrong information, that they are an acute care facility that focuses on medication regulation and don't keep people past a month....are you freaking kidding me?! Her psychiatrist went on to tell me that they may even discharge her this week....WHY DID THEY EVEN TRANSFER HER IN THE FIRST PLACE?! I'm so mad at that other facility. We have nowhere for her to stay right now because we thought we had at LEAST another month to figure that out. I've got my in-laws coming to visit next week, so I have no spare rooms available. She's going to have to sleep in the game room on an air mattress. And now my mom is having to scramble to try and buy a plane ticket and get time off work so she can come get her and take her back to CA as soon as possible (because having her home alone while DH and I are at work makes me nervous, someone is always home at my mom's).
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad my sister is doing better. But it does make me nervous that just a week ago she was threatening to kill herself as soon as she got out and her therapist was recommending longer, more intensive care....and now this new facility thinks she's fine? I just don't know what to think and I'm irritated no one at either facility has been more open with me as I am the ONLY family she has here and the only one able to help her until my mom can fly in.
I also feel super guilty because I keep finding myself feeling upset that I'm not able to enjoy my first pregnancy because my whole life has been consumed by this. Which is the most selfish thing ever, but I keep thinking it and I feel bad for thinking that way, because she's my sister and her health and safety is way more important than me basking in a pregnancy. It's just such a shitty situation.
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
Married: October, 19, 2015
EDD 2/22/17
EDD 3/8/20
EDD 11/24/23
(Formerly Marriedhamstermom Feb ‘17)
Also, I dont judge you at all for your feelings. This is suposed to be a magical time and you arent able to fully enjoy it. I hope you are leaning on your support systems and trying to enjoy some baby-related things!
If you would like to chat or vent about the caregiving aspect of it, please don't hesitate to PM me
(((Hugs)))
Thanks everyone, you guys are really great. I do try to lean on who I can, when I can, but unfortunately, there's not very many people to lean on. Which is why I end up venting here. It really helps having you guys here for support and to be able to just get things off my chest. Thanks for taking the time to listen and offer feedback/support. I really appreciate it.
@gretchypooFrom what I understand, the normal protocol would be to set her up with outpatient here in OKC, but because of the circumstances, she can't stay here, she has to go back to CA to live with my mom until she can get back on her feet....and my mom lives in a small town in the middle of the desert, so I'm not sure what outpatient services are even available out there. It's just a huge clusterfuck right now.
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
Ugh. Mental health services are not what they need to be in this country.
Please continue to vent here. We're here for you. And you can PM me anytime too.
https://www.dailyshoring.com/how-to-help-during-tragedy-loss-or-illness/
@scifichick09, everyone pretty much nailed it, but even though you see it as just what anyone would do if they were in your shoes right now, the fact is that many people wouldn't. The kind of sister you're being to her right now is incredible, please don't forget that. It's okay to give yourself a little pat on the back for doing all that you are for her right now too especially while pregnant versus feeling guilty because you aren't thrilled about being in the position you are right now with her. You have every right to feel frustrated, drained and disappointed for both you and your sis. You are being anything but selfish. I really hope things work out so that your sis is where she needs to be for her care and so that you can just get to relax and enjoy the remainder of the pregnancy.
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
Husband: 35
Married: June 2007
Son Max born 1/10/17
BFP #2: 10/5/17; EDD: 6/11/18
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
Not to take away from @scifichick09 issues going on right now, I've had my own family issues this week that also involve a family members mental Healthcare.
I can't even talk about it because it's stressing me out so much. that's why I've avoided this thread all week.
But I just wanted to say, @scifichick09, please make sure to take care of yourself. You're doing an amazing and impossible job, helping your sister. And at the end of the day, you may not get the thanks that you deserve, which makes it even harder. But always know that you did everything you could for your sister. And as much as we hate it, sometimes we can't do it all and have to let them figure it out. And that's probably the worst feeling, but just remind yourself that there's only so much you can do for her before the stress starts affecting your mind and body and BABY. However, I hope and pray that things don't go that far and that your sister starts getting better extremely soon. (Btw, you may want to notify the facility that she was at that she tried to run away with someone she met there. They are supposed to watch for patients getting too attached to each other and they should still be able to help somehow.)
Good luck to you and try to do something special and rewarding for yourself every day.
My IL's and SIL's came over on Saturday to help us paint the nursery. We still had some boxes in the room from moving so I needed help getting them out to go through so we could put them in the attic. I love H's family but sometimes my MIL drives me crazy. Instead of helping my FIL paint so they could get that done quickly, she starts "helping" me go through boxes. I didn't even know what was in the boxes and she kept asking me "where should x go?" And trying to tell me how to organize my boxes of stuff to keep (because I was getting rid of a lot of junk). Then she decides to "clean and reorganize" the rest of my house (without asking me). Like moving everything around, reorganizing my kitchen including things that I had specifically together for Thanksgiving, and doing laundry (that wasn't even dirty). If she had helped at all with the nursery then we would have gotten all of the crib put together before everyone had to leave. I love her and she has good intentions but sometimes she drives me nuts.
Married: 9/2013
Love my LEO!!
TTC #1: 9/2015
BFP: 2/1/16 MC 2/8/16 @ 5wks
BFP: 5/22/16 RAINBOW BABY
EDD: 1/30/2017 *IT'S A GIRL!!!!*
Kirsten Grace 1/20/17
@becbec28 omg, that would have driven me insane! Kudos to you for being able to keep it together, I probably would've have snapped at the the moment she started rearranging my things.
Just wanted to pop in and say thanks to everyone for being so supportive, you guys are the greatest. Things have gotten a little better over the weekend with my sister. I had to set some pretty strong boundaries and house rules, but she seems to be doing better now that she has some stability. She's still weird and not really herself, but it's manageable. She's also still not eating. She's going to see about getting her old job back today, so maybe that'll help too. She's still obsessed that with that guy she met at the facility and is refusing to go back to CA with my mom and instead has decided she's going to move in with this guy. It makes me SUPER uncomfortable, but she's about to be 19, so there's not really a whole lot I can do
I've at least seen the guy now, so I know what he looks like if something happens....but anyway, just wanted to give a quick update. I hope you guys all have a fantastic Thanksgiving!!
ME: 25, DH: 27
TTC #1 since 09/2015
Miscarriage @ 10 wks 02/28/2016
BFP 05/28/2016!
Married: 9/2013
Love my LEO!!
TTC #1: 9/2015
BFP: 2/1/16 MC 2/8/16 @ 5wks
BFP: 5/22/16 RAINBOW BABY
EDD: 1/30/2017 *IT'S A GIRL!!!!*
Kirsten Grace 1/20/17