Anyone transitioning from working woman to stay-at-home-mom?

RainyDays86 · November 2016

Hi ladies,

I haven't seen this discussed at all on this board so I figured I'd start my own discussion. I'm wondering if anyone else out there is going to transition from being a working woman/working mom to a SAHM after this pregnancy. I work full time right now but I am strongly considering making the switch after this baby is born. I've worked full-time since college, with the exception of staying home for seven months when DS was born. I didn't really enjoy being a SAHM, but the way my job is I think it will be way too much to try to work with a toddler and a small baby.

Anyone else making the switch? Anyone already staying home and have any tips on staying sane? This is a big scary transition and I'd love to hear from anyone who has done it already or is considering it.

MrsFox2008 · November 2016

After DD was born I stepped down and became part time! Shortly before this baby is born I'll be making the switch to a stay at home mom

RainyDays86 · November 2016

@MrsFox2008 how was the transition to part time? Are you nervous about the transition to SAHM? What do you do plan to do to keep from going crazy?!?!?

hp_momma · November 2016

After DD1 was born, I became a SAHM. Going on 5 years now and I haven't *completely* lost my sanity!

1. My advice is have a schedule for your day! Not necessarily in the beginning because baby dictates that schedule, but you'll notice that they start to get in their own nap/eat/play schedule. Go with it and stick with it everyday! It will make your day go faster and you won't be looking at the clock saying "now what do I do?" You'll know that "ok in an hour it will be nap time, so let's go for a little walk or play outside, etc." You'll fill the empty times with playing/picking up around the house/laundry/resting yourself! But if you have a basic outline of things that happen everyday it won't feel like your just sitting around all day.

2. Find other SAHM friends for you to schedule coffee/lunch/play dates with. Someone to vent to and have adult conversations with!

3. Get out of the house! Go to Target even if it's just to walk around, especially those first few months. It will make you feel less like a hermit in your home! And when babies older, look into baby story time at your local library (almost always free). When babies 18months+ I would find a Mommy & Me Class (dance, gymnastics, music).

starphish18 · November 2016

I'm going from working full-time to being a SAHM with this first baby. Following for advice!

MrsFox2008 · November 2016

@RainyDays86 the transition was great I had a lot of time with her like I hoped. I am very nervous about being a SAHM! I'm nervous it'll be overwhelming with a toddler and a newborn. Now to keep from going crazy I quite haven't figured that out yet.

MoshiMoshi7 · November 2016

I agree with everything PP have said. I transitioned from working full time to SAHM with DS. Getting out of the house every day and meeting other SAHM have been such a life saver.

When he was really little, I would go to baby time at the library which is free and a great way to meet other moms that have kids the same age. I also joined a Hike It baby group, which was a great way to get out of the house, stay in shape and meet other moms.

The biggest thing for me was the acute loss of adult conversation. I'm someone that thrives on intellectual interactions and a lot of times, talking to a baby/toddler just doesn't cut it. Finding other moms I clicked with made me so much happier with staying at home.

My other piece of advice was don't expect your house to be immaculate. I assumed because I wasn't working, I would be easily able to keep up with laundry and chores. What I didn't realize was that having kids at home all day creates way more messes and dishes, etc. I had to seriously lower my expectations.

Jkp7749 · November 2016

I was an elementary school teacher and have been home since May of last year. I think the most helpful thing that I have done is join a fb group for the moms in my town and another private fb group with some of those same moms that is dedicated to just play dates. I think for the first six months we were home a TON because with all DD's tummy issues I couldn't get her on any sort of schedule. I enjoyed the time at home and found that having a schedule of chores and a specific day to grocery shop but not necessarily a minute by minute routine helped me keep up with things. I didn't want to spend my whole day cleaning, so I planned two or three short chores a day to keep the house in order. As DD got older, we started adding in weekly outings that were special for her- story time at the library, a play date at a local farm, play date with a friend, fun gym for toddlers, etc. You also have to know that some days you'll feel like super mom and some days you won't have a clue where the time went and how nothing got done, but I think that is normal. Also, when you need alone time TAKE IT and don't feel bad!

vrj0522 · November 2016

Agree with everyone above about getting out, making other mommy friends that you can get together with, and have somewhat of a schedule. It helps so much! I am one that needs to get out almost every single day and having friends to do things with is great. We always have a pass to something and usually add the guest option to them so that I can have friends and their little ones come with. Even if we don't have friends, just having a set place to go regularly is great. Our current pass is to our local children's museum and we go quite often. We also go to the library a lot and spend a lot of time in the backyard. We do almost weekly park dates with other kids and their moms and often invite someone to go with the museum with us.

Going from having a career to being a SAHM was very hard for me. Even now, 4 1/2 yrs into it, I feel like working would be easier, but for me personally, the benefit of being with my kids outweighs that of working, even if it would be easier on me. Having people to talk to and see regularly makes the biggest difference for me.

roper2617 · November 2016

I work full time and will be returning to work full time after my maternity leave is up. I'm in Canada so I get 12 months leave, I don't want to go back full-time but it's our only option at this point. I feel like part-time would be the best of both worlds.

kylaaaaaa · November 2016

I plan to stay home after the twins, it wouldn't make bit of sense to me to work to pay only daycare and gas to/from work and daycare for two. I also have a son who will be going to kindergarten so he will need to be taken to and from school.

MamaMiller · November 2016

I have a very demanding job, long commute (1 hr each way) and DD# 1 is transitioning into public school after being at my school the past four years. I have so much anxiety about being so far away from DD #1 and having to manage three separate drop offs. I am really hoping to transition to a work from home position. I am currently mananging social media for my mom's business (flips house in Washington DC) and/or watching kids out of my home. It is such a stressful/ scary transition but I feel it ultimately will be the best fit for our family! Looking forward to see more input on what it's like!

chickyclg · November 2016

I agree to schedule your day. I have stayed home since my last pregnancy and my schedule is extremely important to my day to day survival. My kids came home on a every 3 hour schedule and if possible I will try and get this baby on a similar schedule ASAP just to have a since of regularity in the day.

Check out toddler/preschool story times. It's an incredibly easy way to meet other SAHMs and you can turn that into Zoo and children's museum trips.

I honestly believe some people are more "cut out" for staying home, I'm not one of those. I am craving the day that my older kids are in Kindergarten so I can go back to work. My husband always says I am an amazing SAHM but a terrible housewife, which is 100% true and there is a difference between the two.

pshaortao · November 2016

I became a SAHM after DD was born, but still kept my job and could work a 4hour shift every Sunday to maintain payroll. I was working in HR at a store and they really valued me there, but understood that if I stayed on full time, all my income would have gone toward daycare. The transition was fairly easy for me since I'm such a homebody. Looking back though, I wish I made more effort to get out of the house before 6 months. I think I was just terrified to take DD out and her not doing well. Well, worst case scenario, we can just go home and try another time.

Having a schedule/routine really help! We go to at least 2 story time events a week, the little gym 1x a week, grocery shopping 1-2x a week. We always go out in the morning, come home for lunch then nap, then during the afternoon it's just free play around the house. We also try to participate in a meetup activity from time to time through meetup.com for kids around DD's age.

ETA: I no longer work at all anymore since we moved and haven't made an effort to. Sometimes I do miss working, but not badly enough to make a change. I just miss it more on rougher days

livin541 · November 2016

I went back full time after my first but it has been a difficult balance. However there are lots of times where I think a SAHM's gig is much harder. There is no easy parenting I guess! I'm not sure what I plan to do after this babe comes along, but it is super helpful to read through this thread. Thanks to everyone for sharing your experiences. Even if I do decide to stay home, I know I'll continue my work from home business for extra income and periodic adult interaction.

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