Looking into adoption. — The Bump

Looking into adoption.

Hi. I am starting to looking into adoption. After 3 failed iuis and 3 failed egg retrievals and being 41, the dream of being a mother, a single one to top is not happening naturally for me. I looked into the NY state adoption website but all too confusing and not really sure I can afford private adoption costs after all the fertility treatments. Does anyone have any insight or some pointers for me? International adoption? I so want to be a mother and really couldn't imagine my remaining years without a child but need to move on this?

Re: Looking into adoption.

  • @britters314 - any advice?
    Me:28 | DH: 28
    Married: 07-2014
    TTC #1: Since November 2015
    Restarted TTC "count" Oct. 2016
         due to previous issues.
    BFP: 11/4/2016
     BabyFruit Ticker

  • @Kspecky75  See if you can find some sort of contact form or e-mail or phone number with the state adoption. It's really hard to find info on that in probably every state - I'm in the same boat and I'm trying to get in contact with an actual person to get more information. There's not a ton to find online, unfortunately.

    As for private adoptions, international generally costs more than domestic because you have to travel abroad at least once before actually adopting. Check to see if your work or your SO's work has any sort of adoption reimbursement. There are also tax credits for adoption, though I don't think they are huge, but I'd check to see if your state has a significant amount.
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  • Hi @Kspecky75, I am in the process of adopting a newborn domestically myself (have completed the application and home study, and have been waiting for approx. 10 months). I'm glad to answer any questions you have, and I also write about our personal adoption journey and have adoption resources on my blog at www.hopingforaharvey.com.  

    International is a lot more expensive than domestic, I will say that. There are a lot of ways to help you be able to afford adoption, though -- as was already mentioned, tax credits and grants, and many employers offer adoption assistance as well. The cost depends on the agency, but mine has a sliding scale based on income. Also, many people do fundraisers, and that can help a lot. While it is not easy, affording adoption is definitely possible. :)  Best of luck! 
    SaphireSweetie88[Deleted User]
  • Welcome @kspecky75!  DH and I are in the process of adopting domestically and are currently waiting for a match.  I can answer questions regarding domestic adoptions, if you have any.  DH and I were initially thinking international adoption as well, but it is very rare for a couple to adopt a newborn internationally, and that was really where we wanted to focus.  In addition, the fees were more, so there was a financial aspect to the decision as well. 

    Feel free to ask any questions!

    TTC #1 since May 2013 IUI #1 - February 2015 - BFN IUI #2 - May 2015 - BFN IUI #3 - June 2015 - BFN IVF #1 - October 2015 - 7 mature fertilized, all arrested development prior to 5d blast. - major bust Adoption Decision - February 2016
    SaphireSweetie88[Deleted User]
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