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Intro/anxiety

MistiemorningMistiemorning member
edited November 2016 in Pregnant after a Loss
My name is Jessica. I have an 8 year old son from a previous relationship and am now pregnant with my husband of 1 year. We would have been due right after Thanksgiving but we miscarried in the end of April and had a d&c on May 5. 

We had no clue anything was wrong until we went into our first ultrasound and saw that the baby passed about a week prior in utero and my body did not tell me. 

So here we are again waiting for our first ultrasound so close to when we would be giving birth to our angel and I'm absolutely terrified. I'm hardly excited at all. I can't stop thinking about how excited I was before and feeling so crushed that I never want to feel that again. 

Our ultrasound is 2 days away and I'm praying we don't have a repeat. I am glad I found this board because I feel like angel mamas will understand being scared instead of excited. Any advice is welcome. 
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Re: Intro/anxiety

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    HGRichHGRich member
    edited November 2016
    Hey there. Welcome. I'm about a month off of your loss time. I lost in early June and was completely devastated. We would have had our baby at Christmas. We had a healthy ultrasound and then two weeks later my body hadn't told me anything either and we saw an empty womb. It's an absolutely horrible experience and I completely understand your fear coming up. I'm really glad it's coming soon for you though so you can get it over with. 

    My only advice is to tell yourself that just because it happened once doesn't mean it will happen again. But don't feel bad for being anxious or not wanting to get excited. I didn't get remotely excited until after my loss milestone and even now I can't say I feel comfortable or confident. It's normal. 

    Will be thinking of you. Keep us posted. And what a wonderful blessing it may be, we hope! that you'll get to see your rainbow baby in there on ultrasound before your original due date. Hoping that for you. 
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    MistiemorningMistiemorning member
    Thank you for your kind words. I will update on Tuesday. Praying for a healthy baby! 
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    Bok BagokBok Bagok member
    Sorry for your loss, but congrats on your new pregnancy! Losses/milestones of a loss around the holidays are rough.
    With my first loss, we were playing on announcing the pregnancy to our families on Christmas. Unfortunately, at our first US we found out the baby had no heartbeat. I had a DNC the day after Christmas, not fun. 
    As for not feeling excited or being scared to be excited, that's a very common way to feel and I think most of us here feel that way. I'm 20 weeks, and I just started to feel happy/hopeful. This pregnancy has also seemed very very long. 
    I don't have any great tips on getting through other than just taking one day at a time.  As impossible as it seems to have to wait from one appointment to the next, the time goes by and before you know it the day you've been waiting for will be here. Now you just have one more day to wait for your first appointment! 
    How far along are you? 
    Keep us posted!

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    MistiemorningMistiemorning member
    Thanks very much. I'm 8 weeks 5 days today. Our angel passed at 8 weeks 3 days. I found out I was pregnant on Oct. 6 this time so the time did kinda speed by. This pregnancy is dragging so far and I'm hoping if all goes well it will speed up a bit. I feel like I'll be relieved of we see the baby is ok tomorrow and can relax some more. I'm ordering a doppler if we see the heartbeat tomorrow. I need that reassurance now that I can't get any more positive on a pregnancy test. I must have taken 15 tests. Lol 
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    johnnydrojohnnydro member
    edited November 2016
    Sorry for your loss/ Congratulations on the BFP!.  I still have the same anxiety to this date!  My wife and I went through the same having 2mc prior to this pregnancy.  It does not get easy, the thought but I am thinking positive thoughts for you!
    Pregnancy Ticker
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    MistiemorningMistiemorning member
    Thank you! My husband and I took the day off to relax before and after the ultrasound. I want to get this over with so much! 
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    flipfloppedflipflopped member

    @mistiemorning I'm not far behind you. I wish you all the luck today!!

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    1inthehopper1inthehopper member
    Welcome, congratulations! I'm sorry for your previous loss. Thinking about you today!
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    ssnovassnova member
    Welcome @Mistiemorning, I'm sorry for your loss, when our due date came we took the day and spent it outside walking around it was really relaxing for me and gave me time to think and sort over everything I was feeling that that day and the anger of what that day should have been. 

    Congrats of this baby and a pray all goes well. I hope time goes fast for!!!
    keep us post on your appointment. 
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    MistiemorningMistiemorning member
    We are so relieved. Baby is measuring right on track according to when I ovulated. So my due date is June 19th!!!
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    ssnovassnova member
    thats wonderful!!!!
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    HGRichHGRich member
    @Mistiemorning yay! I'm so glad for you! 
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    1inthehopper1inthehopper member
    Wonderful news!!
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    MWoodsideMWoodside member
    edited November 2016
    Congrats! I can relate to the anxiety a lot. so glad baby is right on track!

    DD1 born 5/24/10.

    Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.

    DD2 born 5/14/13.

    Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.

    Expecting someone new 4/17/17.
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