Pestering Family Members

pregnantgingerx3 · November 2016

Anyone else dealing with that one family member who pesters you about anything and everything? - especially with the upcoming holidays? How are y'all handling it?

pregnantgingerx3 · November 2016

My MIL texts me at least once a week now about Thanksgiving. No, we aren't going to drive two hours to join you for Thanksgiving this year. Not with my due date a week later. I've been nice about it so far, but how in the world can I tell her HELL NO without "seeming" mean? So far, all I've told her is that we aren't doing anything special this year - she doesn't need to know were going to my family instead...

princesslockness · November 2016

Travel restrictions. My OB truly will not let me go further than 1 hr from my hospital.

So unless she is going to check with your doc, just say 'I can't travel further than x amount being so close to my due date.' Then you have a viable medical excuse and can just 'nicely' shove it down her throat if she keeps it up.

ea301 · November 2016

^ totally agree. "Travel restriction" is going to be my favorite excuse

For me, family is pestering me about the baby's name. it's as if they don't believe me that we don't have one yet! so minor but so irritating. i keep telling them it's Renesmee, which was my husband's favorite joke name because of the Twilight baby.

penelope4612 · November 2016

@ea301 - we have a name but have explicitly told family we're not sharing until the baby is here. That is also not going over well.

sourlemon · November 2016

I'm not allowed (and haven't been since 34 weeks) to travel more than 30 minutes from my hospital. part of that has been due to complications and the fact that the next close hospital is 2 hours away...but still, use that excuse.

My family has been alright. mainly my mom has gotten to the point where she asks about the baby before how I'm doing but again, I've had some issues lately so I'm not bugged by it.

aevan011 · November 2016

No one is really bugging me about holidays but my ILs are coming for thanksgiving and keep mentioning that I should have the baby while they're here....as if I am in control. And I don't WANT to share my first few days with him/her with anyone but DH!
They've also requested a 3D ultrasound and repeatedly asked us about gender, which we are team green.

My my grandmother keeps asking the baby's sex as well, and at times seems to believe that we know but are just being secretive. DHs grandma comments on every FB post related to my pregnancy that the baby is a boy. It's getting old.

whitneyp26 · November 2016

My mom is the only one who feels the need to make comments about how huge I am. It's annoying. She has been doing her laundry at my house for awhile because her washing machine broke and she usually helps me fold some laundry and yesterday she held up a pair of my pants and said, almost in disgust, "I can't believe you're still wearing these". They were yoga pants. What do I say to that? Im sorry? And she makes comments about how I don't need to be exercising anymore. Why? Also complains and makes comments about how hard it's going to be when she has to watch my kids while im in the hospital. "I don't know how I'm going to handle them" ... well if you were alone with them for more than a couple of hours a year maybe you would.

aevan011 · November 2016

@whitneyp26 - Oh, your poooooor mother. How dare you go into labor and need help with your other kids?!?
Yoga pants - shoulda looked at her and told her you can't believe she's wearing THAT...whatever she's wearing.
Rude. My dad is the one to tell me how huge I am but luckily he's 1500 miles away and just texts.

whitneyp26 · November 2016

aevan011 said:

@whitneyp26 - Oh, your poooooor mother. How dare you go into labor and need help with your other kids?!?
Yoga pants - shoulda looked at her and told her you can't believe she's wearing THAT...whatever she's wearing.
Rude. My dad is the one to tell me how huge I am but luckily he's 1500 miles away and just texts.

Haha I should have! I was also in the middle of a cut and dye on her hair. I should have turned it the old lady pink lmao

aevan011 · November 2016

@whitneyp26 God Bless You, she has no idea how lucky she is!

KateH1216 · November 2016

My parents are the problem around here. I say that somewhat lightly, as this is their first grandbaby (my brother and SIL have said no kids for them). The problem is that they live 20 minutes away and will show up unexpectedly/unannounced about once/week now. I have to put a stop to it before the baby is home. I'm not saying hey can't come over, just that I want a text or call for a heads up.

Also agree with the medical reasons for not traveling...there's a big 50th anniversary celebration for my aunt and uncle thanksgiving weekend almost 6 hours away. I will be 38 weeks then and no chance in hell of me going. I've just said that the doctor says to stay in town (within an hour of the hospital). I've found that people drop it real quick...now to figure out what else I can pin on the doctor

yellingbanana · November 2016

Ugh. I thought it was bad enough that I've got 3 adults and 3 children staying with us for Thanksgiving, plus 3 more people for our big meal (we do this with DHs family on Black Friday). That means there will be 13 people for our meal. My house is what I'd call average, not big. I only have a 6 seater dining room table.
But that's not all!
Last night my (possibly intoxicated) sister wants to come to the meal we have with DH's family. That would make 18 people. I'm like, I love you, but we are having thanksgiving together the day before, on actual thanksgiving. Don't give me more work.

I just dont don't get how all of my family (DH and mine!) doesn't understand that I'm on super low functioning mode and that no matter how helpful you are, having guests is work!! At 38 freaking weeks pregnant!!!

So Dh's mom says she will cook all the main food, I'm just making rice, beans, and appetizers (we eat Mexican food for our Friday thanksgiving). And my mom said I don't have to make anything for regular thanksgiving at her place. But My sister and I usually do the majority of the cooking. So yah, I could sit in my but and not help... if we want to eat at midnight.

wynterwaddell · November 2016

I'm not even really looking forward to Thanksgiving this year because I feel like I could have this baby in the next week or so because ive had a few signs but also because if I do have him, im not gonna wanna go to my inlaws house mainly because of all of the people that will be there. I know ny husband's brothers will be there with their kids and then his 3 step sisters, one who has two little girls and is pregnant too and then my 11 year old bil and sil and I'm just not comfortable with people being all around him in his first weeks of life, trying to ask to hold him and being all in his face. I would end up locking myself in fil and mil room. I know we will have to go to their house on the 26 I guess but that's for my step sons birthday(he wanted to live with his grandparents so we let him) and that's fine and we definitely can't miss that but I just wouldn't be comfortable having all tje people around my newborn and in his face and I'm breastfeeding too and I don't know how I would navigate that at their house. I guess it will just have to depend on when he comes.

Kacie209 · November 2016

So far, no one has really bothered us with holiday stuff.

My mom planned on having Thanksgiving at their house (we live in the same city) awhile ago so that DH and I could plan some things out. Then, my parents, sister and her fiance are traveling the Friday after to visit my grandparents. I am staying put. I know my grandpa really wants to see me as he kept being like, "They have hospitals here!" when the holiday topic got brought up. *lol*

DH's family finally asked our plans this past weekend. I guess we're doing stuff next Saturday with them, which works out great. They don't always do the traditional Thanksgiving food that I love so at least I will get it at my parents. I look forward to the turkey, cranberries, mashed potatoes, stuffing, pumpkin pie, green bean casserole, 7 layer salad... yum!! DH isn't a fan of some of that stuff, so my mom is switching some things around for him... as well as for my sister's fiance since he's a health nut and doesn't eat half that stuff anyway.

For Christmas, no one has said anything yet. Which is fine, and I bet people understand that we'll have a very new newborn and may not want to do much. My in-laws live 45 minutes away, so we'd maybe go there Christmas Eve night like we've done in the past. Then, maybe Christmas Day stay at our house and do our thing or go to my parents. My mom talked about possibly going and getting my grandparents so they can meet the baby but it will all depend on the great winter weather we have in the region (snow is supposed to finally show up this week!).

I think they are all understanding if we just want to lay low.

AbriannaO · November 2016

My mom is in a panic over everything getting done at my house. My DH and I have been slowly room by room deep cleaning, and have given ourselves the deadline of no more big projects once December starts so that we can spend more time relaxing together with our final weeks before becoming parents. Seems like a smart thing, but she feels like nothing will be done and that she needs to come every weekend to help out. Grateful for the help that we have received, but we are beginning visitor restrictions come Thanksgiving so that we can spend time together, not stressing over getting projects done and being with family since we will have plenty of that when the baby comes. But she is in a sheer panic over everything. I get regular texts of "what are your intentions for the two closets in your hallway?" "What about the kitchen cabinets, when are those getting cleaned and reorganized?" "I can come from December 5-8 to get all of these things done!!" "What about laundry, do you need me to come do all of your laundry?" I've told her that I am not stressed or panicked and therefore, she does not need to be. Yes, a deep cleaned house would be lovely, but it's not a necessity because our house isn't filthy. She's coming this weekend for the last time pre-delivery and whatever isn't done, doesn't need to be done in my mind. We had our dads over last weekend to do all the building/assembling/winterizing projects, and now she has a weekend to help me clean/meal prep - then it's hibernation time for this incubator because she is tired! Thanksgiving weekend, DH and I are wanting to do our personal touches on the nursery and get all the items organized together because these are moments we won't be getting back, and for some reason, my mom does not understand that we are wanting to do these things together, without help.

caffeinenut · November 2016

@ea301 I've been telling people we are naming her Xena Warrior Princess. We don't have a name either, and no one believes us either.

caffeinenut · November 2016

Apparently, my FI's mother keeps telling him that she doesn't think I should be walking the dog anymore. I am 36 weeks pregnant, and she is a big dog, but she is really good with me and I rarely have a problem with her. We only go out for a 30 minute walk or so every weekday. Besides, with FI at work during the week, who will take her out but me, since I am the only one at home? She needs to go out and do her business and we don't have a fenced in yard. I wish she would just mind her own business. Besides, I like taking the dog for a walk every day. It makes me get up and get some exercise.

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