Handling Jealousy — The Bump
Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Handling Jealousy

Help! I am currently going through my second miscarriage since July and I am struggling to handle interactions with my newly pregnant friends.  I have one friend specifically that I've been very close with but found out she was pregnant the same day we found out our little one wasn't going to make it.  I have avoided talking to her and have panic attacks thinking about seeing her again.  Has anyone else had this and how did you cope with it? Right now I feel like I can never see her again.  I'm sure it's the grief and crazy hormones talking so I need a reality check from others who have been here. 

Me 36 DH 34 - Married May 2010
DX: PCOS/Unexplained Infertility/MTHFR Mutation
TTC since December 2014
Fresh Transfer: Gonal, Menopur, Cetrotide. ~ Chemical Pregnancy :(  
FET #1: 1st Beta- 3,792~ 2nd Beta- 4,227~ BFP ~ Miscarriage at 8 weeks :( 
FET #2: 1st Beta 207~2nd Beta 235~ BFP~ Miscarriage at 6 weeks :(
FET #3: 1st Beta 18~ 2nd Beta 44~BFP~ Miscarriage 5 weeks :(
FET #4: 1st Beta 50~ 2nd Beta 97.7~ Miscarriage 6 weeks 5 days :(
FET#5: 1st Beta 29~ 2nd Beta 109~ 3rd Beta 227~ 4th Beta 661~ Miscarriage 5 weeks 3 days 
Miracle Natural BFP Estimated Due Date June 2019~ God is good 
2 snow babies 






Re: Handling Jealousy

  • When I had my first miscarriage in March, I had about 3 baby showers to go to for friends that were pregnant. None of them were my best friend, but I think honesty is the best policy. I told them that I was happy for them and love them, but due to what I was going through, I couldn't be at their baby shower. I sent them a gift and that was that. They can't blame you for what you are feeling and if they are your close friends, they will understand. You come first, they will understand if you need to take a break. Good luck and please don't be hard on yourself. 
    Me: 31  DH: 31
    Married: 11.2.14
    TTC: October 2015
    BFP: 1.24.16
    Confirmed MC: 2.25.16 at 8 weeks. Blighted Ovum.
    Baby Due: 4.24.17
    Confirmed M/C 10.27.16 at 14 weeks; D&C 10/28/16

    Knottie1469136344
  • I say take as much time as you need.   :(
  • Loading the player...
  • Thanks guys.   I'm feeling incredibly guilty for not being able to handle her pregnancy but it just kills me at the moment.   I'm hoping and praying this feeling fades eventually.  

    Me 36 DH 34 - Married May 2010
    DX: PCOS/Unexplained Infertility/MTHFR Mutation
    TTC since December 2014
    Fresh Transfer: Gonal, Menopur, Cetrotide. ~ Chemical Pregnancy :(  
    FET #1: 1st Beta- 3,792~ 2nd Beta- 4,227~ BFP ~ Miscarriage at 8 weeks :( 
    FET #2: 1st Beta 207~2nd Beta 235~ BFP~ Miscarriage at 6 weeks :(
    FET #3: 1st Beta 18~ 2nd Beta 44~BFP~ Miscarriage 5 weeks :(
    FET #4: 1st Beta 50~ 2nd Beta 97.7~ Miscarriage 6 weeks 5 days :(
    FET#5: 1st Beta 29~ 2nd Beta 109~ 3rd Beta 227~ 4th Beta 661~ Miscarriage 5 weeks 3 days 
    Miracle Natural BFP Estimated Due Date June 2019~ God is good 
    2 snow babies 






  • Hug. That is a hard situation. Make sure to give yourself time to heal. It has been a bit since my last loss and still feel sensitive. Sometimes are easier than other. Since you are close it might be good to just have that conversation with her if you are ready. 
  • I'm sorry to hear of your loss. I agree with the others to just be honest with your friend. We all need time to grieve and learn to live life as a changed person, loss changes you. Take your time. I told my neighbor about my miscarriage and she completely understood without me having to say that I wouldn't be at her baby shower that weekend.
  • I'm so sorry youre going through this. 

    When I found out about my miscarriage, my cousin announced hers of Facebook so I can somewhat sympathize with how you're feeling. Its tough. You know in your heart you want to feel excitement and happiness for them but your hearts also saying why them and not me ? 
    For my cousin, I texted her and told her congrats. 
    I then unfollowed her on Facebook so that I could choose when I would see her stuff. 
    She texted me to offer for us to go for lunch one day so I told her that I had experienced a miscarriage and that seeing someone pregnant and talking about all the exciting things to come would just be too hard on me right now and that I would reach out to her when I was able too. She was very understanding. 
    I'll send a gift once she has her baby shower but I dont think I'll be going. 
    Its just going to take time and only time. I think whats important is being honest with them and not hiding. 
    But if you do go out with them, have an exit plan. If you feel uncomfortable than excuse yourself with a lame excuse.  I always use work. Gets me out of everything....well except work. Lol. 

  • @CAdreamin13 thanks for sharing your experience.  I don't blame you for stepping away from that friend.  That was very thoughtless of her.  I appreciate your advice and know I eventually have to be honest with her about how I'm feeling.   

    Me 36 DH 34 - Married May 2010
    DX: PCOS/Unexplained Infertility/MTHFR Mutation
    TTC since December 2014
    Fresh Transfer: Gonal, Menopur, Cetrotide. ~ Chemical Pregnancy :(  
    FET #1: 1st Beta- 3,792~ 2nd Beta- 4,227~ BFP ~ Miscarriage at 8 weeks :( 
    FET #2: 1st Beta 207~2nd Beta 235~ BFP~ Miscarriage at 6 weeks :(
    FET #3: 1st Beta 18~ 2nd Beta 44~BFP~ Miscarriage 5 weeks :(
    FET #4: 1st Beta 50~ 2nd Beta 97.7~ Miscarriage 6 weeks 5 days :(
    FET#5: 1st Beta 29~ 2nd Beta 109~ 3rd Beta 227~ 4th Beta 661~ Miscarriage 5 weeks 3 days 
    Miracle Natural BFP Estimated Due Date June 2019~ God is good 
    2 snow babies 






Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards