How to handle the anxiety

rainbowwishes5 · November 2016

hi ladies,
i have an anxiety disorder and waiting for results from bloodwork & u/s and constantly waiting to see if this cycle will be cancelled and knowing that I have to very likely go through this again next month until I hit 3 failed IUIs (then I go to IVF)- it's killing me!!!! I am on pins and needles. How do you guys cope???

mini-murph · November 2016

I feel ya. It's like if you don't have anxiety before dealing with IF you'll develop it and if you already have anxiety then you'll turn into a ball of crazy!

As someone who is diagnosed with situational anxiety this definitely pushes my buttons. Doing yoga, running, and working out really helps. It keeps my mind too busy to focus on the tests or the TWW. During work listening to calm or happy music (jazz to Britney Spears) helps to keep me in a good position and prevents me from calling the Dr. everyday or checking the patient portals for any updates.

Coming here and reading people's updates is great, it helps focus on other things!

Good luck and try to stay calm! FX that your cycle isn't cancelled!

HopefulLily · November 2016

I have anxiety too, it's a constant struggle for sure, like literally something I have to work on from minute to minute sometimes! And like you I had it before all this TTC stress, so it's just amplified even more now. I have just been trying to focus on taking care of myself, doing some mindfulness & yoga, getting massages, getting acupuncture, eating healthy, working on creative projects, listening to music that makes me feel good, staying away from things that trigger my anxiety (facebook, sad or scary movies, people that stress me out, etc). I also keep thinking that I should just go see a therapist again (especially since I work in an office of therapists, haha!) but I have not done that yet. I know it would be helpful but just the idea of one more appointment to go to, ugh. Coming to these forums can be helpful, but at other times it also fuels my anxiety in some ways so I have to take breaks, but it's so helpful to connect with other ladies who know what you're going through!

I wish you the best of luck!

JWatt5 · November 2016

This is a huge problem for me too!! I have thrown off my cycles with the anxiety I feel so I have to be so careful and I have been on medication before for it. The week they cancelled my IUI last I ended up not sleeping right for a few days (couldn't shut my mind off) - the vivid dreams are just finally starting to go away and getting very little done at work.

Things that help me:

-During the appointments I find reading a good book really helps - takes me away from reality when I have too much time to think.
-I got new cookbooks to keep me busy on the weekends (which helps with my diet changes too - loving all the Thug Kitchen books!)
-I pick a movie to watch now to eat up my evenings since baseball ended or I walk over to my parents house.
-If and when I realize I've become too obsessive over it all I have to tell myself to stop. Over the years I've picked up on my triggers - but it took a while.
-Keep reminding myself I can't predict the future so stop acting (and try not to worry) like it's never going to happen. For awhile I kept thinking oh I jinxed it by doing this or if we had just tried this. If you are doing your best to take care of yourself and your health then that is the best you can do - it's not your fault this is happening.

My biggest thing is I have one friend, no fertility issues for her but still I know I can lean on her. She's been amazing - she interested on how things go and loves getting updates from me. She's actually on mat leave right now - but never has she sent an update about her son at the wrong time. I love seeing him but she knows when I'm freaking out and a picture of her adorable child isn't going to help (wish my sister could pick up on that). I actually sent her flowers at the end of my last cycle haha. I hope everyone can find a friend like her!

Lots of awesome people here to talk to too - hope even one of those things helps!

JamieH2000 · November 2016

I hear you!! I haven't been diagnosed with anxiety but I'm very type A.. so I prob would be if I saw someone. I haven't found much that helps, besides what others have mentioned. The one additional thing for me is having a plan... obviously IVF is not ideal and expensive, but the success rates are very good. So if you have that as your back up plan, just remember there is another option that would hopefully achieve your goal! Hang in there, everyone is here for you!

LeFemmeViolette · November 2016

Fellow anxious person over here.
For reference, I'm emetephobic. So if I feel like I may be sick, or if someone else near me gets sick, there's a good chance I'll have a panic attack.

I've had this phobia for as long as I can remember. I was put on klonopin in highschool and that worked well for a long time. Then, when we started TTC I tapered off and went on Zoloft instead. Ideally, I'd be completely unmedicated. But I need to what's best for me, and I think zoloft is a good middle ground.

It always makes me feel better to learn and prepare. If I know more about something, I feel better about it. And I prepare myself by having my comforts close by (ice, my phone, mint gum, etc).

Hang in there. You're far from alone with this. ; )

rainbowwishes5 · November 2016

Thank you. It means so much to know I'm not alone! And you guys got me brainstorming. I've started listening to ASMR stuff on YouTube again (so freaking calming). And I'm pacing - which actually helps me with my compulsive thoughts (plus excersize! Lol).

LeFemmeViolette · November 2016

@rainbowwishes5 it helps me to have something to do, to keep myself busy. Lately, I've picked up knitting. I've always been an avid DIY-er, but knitting is super easy to pick up and do for a few minutes, rather than breaking out all the supplies for a larger project.

I've heard of ASMR- I tried listening to it but all I could focus on was the mouth noises and I couldn't take it. But I've heard others have greatly benefitted from it, so whatever floats your boat! : )

Monica54321 · November 2016

I've got anxiety and depression as well, even before all of the IF crap. I decided to stay on my medication that I've been taking for over 5 years during IF treatments and (hopeful) future pregnancy (lexapro). There's been a few times that I've had to bust out my emergency xanax during all of this. Unfortunately I don't have any great suggestions on dealing with anxiety during all of this. Just wanted you to know you're not alone!

My coping has primarily been keeping myself as busy as possible with other stuff - grad school, work, buying/selling a house. All of that definitely added more overall stress, but helped keep my anxiety in check.

nellin-2 · November 2016

I don't suffer from an anxiety disorder, so I'm possibly not qualified to answer, but IF is stressful for everyone.

In addition to all the useful advice others have given I find that having all the information and having a plan really help calm me down. My IVF doctor is great, he always explains why he thinks a certain decision is right for me. There are so many variations in which drugs, how much, for how long that I think it's important to know they aren't just randomly stabbing in the dark!
For example I have PCOS so my IVF drug amounts were super low compared to others. I would have freaked out if my doctor hadn't told me that PCOS makes you super sensitive to the stimulation drugs.

Fingers crossed for you that you have an successful IUI and don't need to worry about IVF!

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