Monday Bitchfest

kiki75 · November 2016

reactions please bitch eye roll freaks and geeks

I'm all for positivity but since I don't get to do much complaining IRL, this is where I get to do it.

kiki75 · November 2016

Friend who is on maternity leave (*TW* and does know about my loss and tends to be a little less than gentle about it) sent me an email today asking if I wanted to get together at 3:00 or so today.

No, actually, you'll notice that I'm NOT on maternity leave, so I'm not actually free to grab a beer at three in the afternoon. Sometimes I wonder if it's 100% innocent or if it's slightly more nefarious.

wabash15 · November 2016

@kiki75 sorry your friend is being a TW. I can't believe someone who has had a kid can't for a second sympathize and imagine what if something had gone wrong for them.

my monday bitchfest is HR has sent me several emails today about how much use-it-or-loose-it vacation time I have..... Well I'd love to use it but (as I already bitched about in the TWW) I am without back up so I can't go more than an hour away, and even if I do take the day off I can't guarantee I won't get call in or at the very least field multiple texts/phone calls. Uggg

sheknows6 · November 2016

I am having a hell of a time with my two bff's lately....it seems like no matter what I say there is some sort of argument or misunderstanding. wtf?!

@Kiki75 sorry to hear about your coworker, she sounds like a peach
@wabash15, don't you just love vacation that you can't use? *eyeroll* My work is the same way, we can't accumulate time which would be nice for those of us that don't have maternity leave!

doula-mama · November 2016

@Kiki75 Ugh, sorry your friend is being so insensitive... I can't imagine anyone going through a pregnancy without worrying about losing it, which should make them more understanding. Sigh.

@wabash15 That's crazy that you can't use your vacation, but also can't bank it. Are you in some sort of public health/safety role that you are legally obligated to be available? Or are they just being demanding from a company perspective?

@sheknows6 Boo for BFFs giving you a hard time. Can you talk to them, or just take a step back?

I just found out the DH has to leave for work AGAIN - seems like he just got back! And I misunderstood when we were talking about it, so just realized that he leaves tomorrow, not Wednesday.

At least he will be gone for AF's arrival on Wednesday/Thursday, so I can eat/drink/lounge in my PJs/call in sick without having to worry about anyone caring!

sheknows6 · November 2016

@Sailing_Mama, I will call them K & S:....I did try talking to both of them and while K is a non-related simple misunderstanding, S is probably not going to be in my life much longer if things stay the way they are. S found some books in my house, and my H and her H are friends and they talk, so she found out we were going to start ttc:

**TW- not sure if this needs it but, Trigger Warning***

There is a long, long backstory to our friendship, and to give you the TL;DR version, she is unfortunately suffering unexplained infertility, and struggling really hard (understandably so) with people in her life ttc and having children, not just myself. I'm trying to be as understanding as possible, but some of the things she has done and said to me just isn't right, understanding of her feelings or not.

I was told that she couldn't be friends with me if I were to have a baby, and that she wouldn't be in my life anymore, among other things that stung quite a bit. I have been supportive and understanding of her ever since she found out she was unable to conceive, so this just feels like a punishment for something outside of my control.

We have been friends for over 8 years so it stings a lot, and while I don't expect her to be jumping for joy if I have a baby, I certainly never expected to hear "we can't be friends" if I do.

**End TW**

I took the second option and stepped back, deactivated my Facebook (the election drama contributed to that too), as well as having some "me" time away from both of them...hopefully S can reconcile her feelings and come around. I figured space and time would be better than telling her she hurt me, and I hope this is just a case of her being upset with her situation and not truly upset with me. It sucks, but there's not much else I can do.

I hope that makes sense. I don't want to confront her when it feels like the load she has on her shoulders is already really hard to deal with and I can't relate. If she really doesn't want to be friends anymore then I'm doing the right thing I feel like.

lund · November 2016

@Kiki75 Thanks for starting this! And, what the holy hell? I'd have a really hard time not sending her a snarky response about how some people are still working at 3pm

@wabash15 what's HR's response when you explain your dilemma?

@Sailing_Mama sorry DH has to leave earlier than expected, but I can relate to relishing alone time to eat/drink/wallow/lounge without having to explain it to anyone.

@sheknows6 what the hell???? That sounds like an irrational mess on your friend S's part. So sorry you have to deal with that.

My bitchfest:

***possible TW***
An acquaintance/friend of mine recently got pregnant after a long struggle with infertility. I'm super happy for her - no one deserves it more. She showed up to a Chamber of Commerce meeting today, and EVERYONE was bombarding her with unsolicited advice and pregnancy/birth horror stories. It was obviously freaking her out, so I did my best to change the subject and tell her that she'll be just fine. I know that it happens to just about every woman who gets KU, but I was so annoyed for her. At this point I think it's safe to say that, if I'm lucky enough to get KU, I'm going to have a really hard time not telling well-meaning unsolicited-advice-givers to shove it.
***end possible TW***

mrsegan13 · November 2016

@sheknows6, That doesn't sound like a true friend. She is making your relationship conditional on you NOT having a baby? Run the other way. You don't need a friend like that.

Sugargirl1019 · November 2016

@kiki75 omg she's off in her own little dream world!
@sheknows6 Eeek. I mean, that's a little extreme. I hate people who are all or nothing. Why wouldn't she be thrilled for your happiness?

Um.. I have really bad cystic acne again, thanks hormones.

doula-mama · November 2016

@sheknows6 Wow! That's really irrational. I could understand if she had said that she might need a bit of space when you start a family - but to basically give you an ultimatum of a child or her??? What would she expect you to actually do??? Sorry that you're going through that - it doesn't sound like there is much you can do other than give her space to come to terms with things.

lee^2 · November 2016

@sheknows6 wow that's rough with your BFF. It really sounds like cutting you out is a way to avoid dealing with her problems. I can't relate to her issues so I can't say what the best thing to do would be. But I would suggest to just let her know that you will still be there to support her if she is willing to accept it. Don't push any further than that if she resists because I agree she might just need space and time. I hope it all works out for you!

My bitchfest is that I woke up super motivated this morning. Then I got a headache and sat my lazy butt on the couch and have gotten nothing done that I had planned on doing and H is going to be mad when he gets home. I took a nap, I have had a bunch of water, I'm not big on taking medicine every time I get a headache but I might have to. What started out as a super motivated day turned into a super moody day. Now I'm going to have to be productive tonight to make up for my lazy day.

doula-mama · November 2016

@lee^2 That's rough - headaches are the worst way to ruin a day. Depending on where it hurts, an ice pack on the forehead or back of the neck can really help. It isn't exactly pleasant, but it numbs the nerves and lets things calm down a bit (my neurologist gave me that advice for migraines a few years ago - it seems to help both my DH and I)

sheknows6 · November 2016

@Sailing_Mama, @LuND, @mrsegan13, @Sugargirl1019, @lee^2

thanks ladies, my thoughts exactly. the first step is distance, & that has been established for sure

adirat · November 2016

Wow, I am so sorry for you guys! You are dealing with some real waffles out there.

Mine is that I had an ultrasound last Monday to investigate my severe ovulation pain. As I've talked about in other threads, I think it's going to be bad news as the ovary with the severe pain wasn't even visible and the tech asked me at least four times if I was going to meet with the doctor after the ultrasound

Anyway, I didn't get a call all week, so I called the office this morning myself. First, the nursing line (which you call to request labwork or talk to a nurse) had a full mailbox so I couldn't even leave a message. Then I called the appointment extension to tell them this and they told me to call back later! When I called back later in the afternoon, the nursing line's mailbox was STILL full and the appointment extension went straight to voicemail.

I'm bracing for bad news and need to know if we have to start being more aggressive about TTC. I can't move forward if nobody ever tells me what the ultrasound found. UGH.

lulu1180 · November 2016

@adirat I'm so sorry it's taking your dr office so long to get back to you! I hope you get your answers soon!!

wabash15 · November 2016

@adirat I'm so sorry they are making you wait so long for results and making it super difficult to follow up. Hugs girl

JuneRoseRuby · November 2016

Oh @adirat what mind games! I can't believe they are making you wait that long!

adirat · November 2016

@lulu1180 @wabash15 @Juneroseruby Thanks ladies. It's frustrating. I'd feel better if ultrasound techs were allowed to tell you anything, but I had to specifically ask her "is that a follicle?" for her to even tell me that much! She was acting like I needed to talk to the doctor about something she saw, which just stressed me out. I guess it's TWW so it's not like I'm going to do anything for the next few days, anyway. But... why can't someone just call me already?

BertieMeetsGertie · November 2016

@adirat oh girl, I'm so sorry you still haven't heard anything. You've been on my mind. Only wishing positive news for you!

adirat · November 2016

@BertieMeetsGertie
Aww, thank you! You ladies are all so kind to me

sheknows6 · November 2016

I'm so sorry @adirat!! The waiting is the worst part and they never make it easy!

doula-mama · November 2016

Awww so sorry @adirat - FX that they are not rushing to tell you because it's not bad new

sapphire86 · November 2016

@Kiki75 Can I just say, I love your siggy.

@LuND Seriously, what is wrong with people? One of my coworkers is due any day now (literally, her due date was Nov 1) and she was telling us some of the stuff people said to her over the weekend at a neighborhood cookout she went to....SMH

@sheknows6 Wow, I mean I can totally relate to your friend's struggle with having trouble TTC and resenting other people in her life who successfully get KU, but it sounds like she's dealing with it in a seriously immature way. I mean yes, my first reaction when I hear someone else in my life is KU is totally jealousy and bitterness, but then I quickly get over that and realize that not everything is ABOUT ME, and I am happy for them in their good fortune. Especially my BFF!!!! I mean sheesh, *especially* because I'm going through this, I would not wish it on my worst enemy, let alone people I care about deeply. Here's hoping that with space she comes to her senses. Otherwise I think you may be better off without her.

@adirat FX for you that you hear something soon!!

My bitchfest is hello to AF.

And wow is she being even more of a bitch than normal this month. Ouuuuuch.

lee^2 · November 2016

@Sailing_Mama thank you! I will give that a try next time I have a headache. I finally got it to stop hurting, I hope it stays away!

dragonfly87-2 · November 2016

Oh the bitching I can do today:

1. AF has shown up today. It's been a wonderful 4+ years of being apart (thanks BC) and now, we meet again. I am greeting her with excitement (i.e., cycle regulation) and resentment (bitch, I didn't get pregnant last cycle kind of feeling). So I am feeling like this:

Image: https://media.giphy.com/media/OUryBN7dqHqMg/giphy.gif

2. I have 5 pregnant co-workers, 5! We only have 50 people in the company. Most are tolerable, but two are rubbing me a little the wrong way lately. One takes every chance she has to mention that she is pregnant. It's like, "oh, I am hungry, baby must be hungry" or "my nails are growing fast because I am pregnant, you know?" Yeah, we know. It's been 5 months of you telling us you are pregnant. The other co-worker constantly, awkwardly rubs her stomach during meetings and while standing around. Not in a subtle way, but full on rub...that is so awkward for everyone around. You know that kind of belly rubbing, like this:

NYTino24 · November 2016

@adirat That's unacceptable! Is there any way for you to show up there?
@lee^2 Headaches are the worst. Excedrin is my savior. Not sure what I'll do if I can't take it in the future!
@sugargirl1019 I feel you. My face is so oily and broken out! I can't seem to hide it with makeup either. It's terrible.
@sheknows6 Grief makes some people do crazy things. But still... I'd say

No bitching for me today. It was pretty decent day!

RunRestRepeat · November 2016

@adirat I'm so sorry you haven't heard anything. That is super, super shitty.

sheknows6 · November 2016

@NYTino24 Kourtney is my spirit animal

Tennis11785 · November 2016

adirat. I'd seriously be so annoyed at my dr office, and they would be hearing it. That's super stressful, when it doesn't really need to be. I hope you get good news.

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