MIL decided that she's coming for a full 2 weeks and already bought her plane tickets. she was invited "for a few days". I probably cried far more than a rational person would have but that's the entire time DH has off work so I immediately felt a loss...like that was our family time after this baby. now it's gone.
She's staying at my mom's for part of it then who knows where. not our house cuz I intentionally got rid of the guest room. but she expects to hang out all day every day holding the baby. not what I want or need. maybe the anger/sadness will pass but idk. she also wants to come early if the baby is early....I told DH no way since she still plans on leaving at the same time as planned.
I'm 95% sure I've got pink eye and some kind of cold/virus that's producing ALL of the phlegm. 35 weeks pregnant with twins and I'm hacking up a lung, while peeing my pants and wincing in pain.
@sourlemon I am so sorry. That is incredibly rude and I am always so taken aback at how insensitive people are. Why do people think it is ok to invite themselves to people's homes, especially during transition periods? I have never assumed that a host would want me around for 2 weeks. I would ask DH to tell her that she cannot stay for that entire time and go back after a week. She shouldn't have bought tickets without talking to you first, so that's her problem.
@sourlemon, I would not be able to do it! I would tell her that you will be unavailable to entertain her throughout her trip and that she will need to come up with ways to keep herself busy while you and your DH have some quality bonding time. Better yet, your DH should be telling her. Unless it can be explained to her that a shorter visit is ideal right now and then you can discuss other times for her to visit later on.
Ugh MIL's. Thats a huge time to go over. I would be in the fetal position over that.
My MIL finally booked a flight as well. She'll be here 3 nights. It's annoying though because we asked them to come in January but that wasn't possible because her husband couldn't take vacation time so it had to be between xmas and New Years. Alright, fine, we'll deal. But now the husband isn't coming, just her, but she's still coming those dates. So it overlaps with my parents visit, and I found out my SIL has her whole family visiting so my parents can't stay there either. So it's either a hotel for them, or air mattress at our place (which I think we will give them our bed and we will sleep on it). Just annoying because my parents planned ahead, will genuinely help, yet get pushed out for MIL who probably won't visit again for another 10 years.
BF is at my DH. Just when I thought we had agreed that we would keep to ourselves for Thanksgiving this year, now he keeps bringing up inviting family members over. Originally we had discussed inviting our parents over, but didn't want to make plans because we didn't know our general feelings about hosting. Then we have my dad and his dad and step mom coming over this weekend to help with some house projects, and then my mom is coming next weekend to help with some house projects - so I am just all people'd out and wanted to spend Thanksgiving day relaxing and that weekend of us finishing putting together the nursery. Yesterday I get a text from his mom asking if we want to get together Thanksgiving day. No, I don't. I want some alone time, I want to rest, I want to do little things around the house for the final prep for the baby. I don't want people in our house asking to see the nursery (none of our family members know the gender). I just want it to be DH and me since we don't know how hectic December will be with baby due Christmas week.
Then yesterday, DH is downstairs watching football, not doing the laundry like he said he was going to do. Earlier in the weekend I mentioned that the grass needs to be mowed, which that isn't being done either. So I go mow the grass because it needs to be done. I am not a high risk pregnancy in any way, but I do not think I should be out there with a push mower at 33.5 weeks pregnant. When I went down to the basement to change to go outside to do that, DH asked what I was doing, so I said I am going to go mow - no offer of "no, I'll do that" or what he later told me "I guess I should have verbalized that I was planning on doing that during the week." We were also supposed to wash the hallway and master bedroom walls yesterday, but the game went into overtime, so he had other priorities.
I am seriously trying to figure out how to cancel our TV without him knowing. It is a constant battle between me asking him to help with things and needing to fit it around hockey and football games.
Also, it was my birthday this weekend. He put absolutely no thought into it. I don't expect him to go all out like I usually do for his birthday (typically involves dinner somewhere he likes, a movie he wants to see, and going to a sports game), but I expect him to at least to have planned something. I had to decide on everything, and if I hadn't, then nothing would have happened. Originally this was supposed to be our babymoon weekend, but when I noticed that I was the only one planning it, I stopped and told him it was his turn to put the effort in, so nothing happened.
@AbriannaO Ugh I am sorry. That sounds incredibly frustrating and would hurt my feelings. I don't understand people that value sport games over their relationships in real life. I'm all for having hobbies and being passionate about something, but when it negatively impacts people you love, that's too much.
I hope your DH will wake up and realize that his hockey team isn't going to support him as a husband and father just because he never misses a game.
DH is on the same page about not allowing MIL to come early if the baby is early. he's not close with her either and usually the 4-5 days at a time she invites herself out here is a few days too many. but he isn't sure how to approach that I'd it comes up.
He keeps saying that he will do things with mil to get her out of the house for a while each day but then he's missing out on the new baby and that isn't fair. I considered keeping dd1 home from daycare but mil doesn't know what to do with her. last time she was here mil was supposed to distract DD for an hour so DH could help me paint the nursery. 5 minutes later DD is crying for daddy and mil brings her in and says she won't calm down and she's tried everything (the kid was only whiney, not crying...and no way you tried everything in 2/3 minutes). so keeping dd1 home would just make me have more work to do.
I may be being irrational about it but I only see the bad at this point. I was pressured into inviting her because she only has boys and her other son is estranged so she didn't get to see those kids until much later on. but this had been a major stressor this whole time.
@AbriannaO I would be so annoyed! DH and I used to have similar issues with lawn care. He was always going to get to it later, or felt like I had too high of standards, or would get annoyed at me when I would just take care of it because "he was going to do it". So now we pay for a monthly service. It may just be our area, but it's pretty inexpensive and so, so worth it. If possible, I would totally look into outsourcing. Then have a raging talk about choosing sports over family. Hopefully calmer than I would be. DH likes sports too, but if there's a conflict and he can't watch, it's not big deal.
1. I have no problem putting on my right sock and shoe. the left one on the other hand...ugh I just can't reach without sitting down and propping it up.
2. I took a nap yesterday afternoon then felt guilty all evening that I didn't do chores. can't I just be happy?
@sourlemon ughhhh that's incredibly frustrating. I don't think your reaction is irrational at all, id be a wreck. That's a long effing time to just be hanging around.
@AbriannaO sorry your H is being kinda a loser right now. I'm thankful mine isn't into sports at all, but it's so easy in general to get disappointed over misunderstood/unmet expectations. I hope you guys are able to have an honest and eye opening conversation soon because those things will only get worse after the baby comes.
My BF is that I'm in a wedding on Saturday. I'm happy to be in the wedding, but we had the bachelorette this past weekend and I could barely walk yesterday from the back pain. I don't know how I'm going to manage a 12 hour day with this wedding... she wants us there for around 10am to start getting ready and the ceremony is at 6pm.... it's just going to be.......LONG.
@sourlemon You're not being irrational at all. I would be throwing a fit in your situation. 2 weeks is such a long time for anyone to visit much less your MIL.
@AbriannaO I had a similar situation with my husband yesterday. It's really frustrating when you're not on the same page.
My BF is that I am so uncomfortable. My hips are killing me and apparently lightening crotch came back with a vengeance today. Every time I walk I feel like I'm being stabbed in the crotch.
@kbduke I'm going to second your MBF as mine too. I stood up and then just stood there at my desk for a few minutes before walking because it was intense. This past week I think the uncomfortableness has really set in. I'll be sitting and DH will walk by and ask if I'm ok because apparently look really uncomfortable.
Me: 26 & DH: 25
Married: August 2014 TTC since November 2015 BFP #1 12/17/15 - MC 1/28/16 BFP #2 4/22/16 - EDD 12/30/16
@sourlemon oh hell no. I'd be more than crying, I'd be livid.
@DiFazette ha oh I feel you. I cough most nights because they're crowding my lungs, and I've just completely given up and wear pads at night. Coughing hurts, and peeing isn't fun. Not to mention when I cough so hard it triggers my gag reflex and then I'm coughing, puking, AND peeing. I can relate!
my BF is my husband's work. It's so awful, and he's applied for so many jobs, and all these places say they want to interview him, but then never actually get back to him to schedule the interview. And I feel awful, because he can't quit....we can't afford for him to quit....And at the same time I was bawling last night because he got home around 5, after leaving for work at 3:30am...only to literally turn around 10 minutes later and go back into work to work the dish pit because the dishwasher didn't show up. My husband is the executive chef.....the top position...the dishwasher is like the bottom position. He didn't get home until almost 10pm. He's salary, and they don't pay him enough...so he's not getting overtime...and the pay he is getting isn't even worth it. But we need it, especially since my brother moved out and it's just us for income now. I'm so worried that this will never change, and I'll be left alone to work, do house work, and take care of two babies by myself. I felt so bad, he loves cooking, and he said he would leave it for something else, even if it makes him miserable, because he can't sacrifice his family for his career. The thing is, he's been cooking for 10 years...he doesn't have experience doing anything else...I don't know what job he could get that would pay what he gets paid now......
It's so hard because I want so badly for him to tell them to kiss his ass and leave...but then I know we won't be able to pay our bills....
I have gestational diabetes (so I have to eat low carb) and really bad gallstones (so I have to eat low fat). So basically, I'm starving, very pregnant and miserable.
All that, compounded by the fact that I'm so sick of dealing with extended family annoyances.
IVF #1 Oct 2013- cancelled IVF #2 Mar 2014- success.... baby girl born 11/28/14 FET #1 Mar 2016- baby boy due 12/16/16
My BF is my STEP mother in law (who has a bit of a drinking problem, which invokes the following)
Ive known her for all of a year and when she found out we were expecting she was a little upset. She told her (now) husband that becoming a grandmother at 37 years old wasn't in the "contract". Sorry if I inconvenienced you with our child.
Before we knew the sex, we told her the girl name we had chosen (Lillianna Grace) and she was ADAMANT they we had to change it to Lillianna Lynn -- her middle name. So we kept the boy name secret from her until the baby shower a couple weeks ago. So far, she hasn't mentioned the name, however she spells it wrong EVERY TIME.
Now, she's EXPECTING to be in the room with us when Jameson is born (NOT HAPPENING) and demanding a phone call as soon as I go into labor "so she can get her hands on HER grandson". So far I've managed to change the subject every time it's brought up and told her MY mom has the list of people to call when the time comes.
I'm sorry, but I don't need you in the room knowing you're going to instruct me on how to give birth to my second child and tell me what I'm doing wrong. You'll get your phone call when I get to my postpartum room.
And now she's pissed we won't be driving the two hours to her house for Thanksgiving. God forbid my little man wants to make an early appearance - Thanksgiving is a week before my due date - I wanna stay home where I'm a 15 minute drive from the hospital.
OK you guys have legitimate BF reasons - I'm sorry for the crap you're dealing with. My little BF is that I am achy and have been craving a doughnut for days that I can't have until after delivery thanks to gestational diabetes, and want to be in bed watching cheesy hallmark Christmas movies, ignoring my to-do list. My to-do list, shower planning annoyances (I'm not planning it myself but lord I wish I was), and doctor's office not calling me back are seriously annoying me today too. Major case of the Mondays.
@sourlemon I would also be really upset. I think if it were me I'd probably set expectations about visits and time spent together very directly. Like... if you want to travel here for that duration, that's your call... but here is what our lives will look like then and you can fit in here and here.
I'm like a rampaging gorilla today. Work is exploding at me... it's ridiculous. My computer froze as I was in the middle of something major. Instead of bashing the monitor with my mouse I went down to the gym and worked out in beast mode. I showered and came out of the gym as someone was passing in the hall and I guess I'm still worked up and giving off a vibe because the person walking by like flattened themselves against the wall in fear that I was an unstoppable pregnant force and they should not get in my way. I sort of took a breath and relaxed a little after that.... ooops. Sorry random guy, carry on.
@temmetime, I spent 20 minutes sewing up the bottom hem of a pair of maternity pants my friend gave me. 3 weeks ago they fit so well and were so comfy, when I went to put them on, the gave me upper thigh muffin because the wouldn't go all the way to my hips like they use to. I was so sad and mad at wasting time fixing them. Because of this, @KattyC, I will eat some donuts on your behalf because now that is all I can think about (aside from my continuing boiling rage at my DH).
Thanks everyone for the support. DH will soon discover that I am a force to be reckoned with right now and that he best step up because shit is about to get real very fast. If those damn sports continue to be a distraction, looks like some family members will be getting new TVs for Christmas.
My husband has spent most of the last 2 hours pretty much yelling at me via text and over the phone. A part needed to be replaced on my car....it should've been fairly easy. Apparently not for him, and somehow that's my fault...and it's also my fault the part failed in the first place. I kept telling him to calm down, and that if he calmed down he'd probably be able to fix it. Then he finally gets it fixed...and he locked himself out of the house....and I'm not going to be home for another 6 hours. The his phone died, and I realized the charging cord that's normally in my car, is in my purse....so I thought to call the bar (he said he was going to the bar) that he normally goes to, to see if he wants me to meet him on my lunch to give him my house key. He wasn't there...but he called me from there 10 minutes later freaking out and asking me if I'm out of my mind for calling the bar....and I'm just standing here crying like wtf did I do?! I was just trying to help? I know he's pissed...and frustrated...but I don't understand. That was almost an hour ago...and my hormonal self keeps crying on and off.
DH took me to school so we could grab lunch and get some groceries after his class. I decide to grab a drink before I sit in the library. So I'm waiting in line to check out with my drink, and this guy in front of me keeps peepin' on my bump like he's never seen a pregnant lady before. I get annoyed and say sarcastically, "Did I spill something on me that I can't see?"
He was flustered and said, " Uh, oh no! I just respect you! I'm sure it's not easy going to school right now to get that Bachelor's degree. How do you do it?" His tone was as if I ruined my life and he was taking pity on me or something.
I just replied, " I dunno, I already have a Master's."
He apologized and said that I just look " very young" and didn't realize I wasn't a student. I think I have an aura about me that says, " If you are weird, awkward, or otherwise crazy, I'd LOVE to talk to you."
@sourlemon - I'm sorry, that sucks. I also have a pushy mother in law and I spend a lot of time trying to cut her off at the pass (basically forcing DH to set limits with her before she does things like book plane tickets). She is definitely an "ask don't tell" kind of person and I do not appreciate the repeated intrusions.
I think it is totally reasonable for you to tell her she can't come for 2 weeks and/or would be totally reasonable to tell her she needs to stay in a hotel or kick her out of the house if you need quiet time. When my in laws are here I intend to go into my bedroom when the baby needs to eat/sleep (or I need a break) and if they find that rude, oh well.
My BF is that I want to be enjoying pregnancy so badly but I am literally having the baby from Twilight. I have hyperemesis that has yet to go completely away, gestational diabetes, carpal tunnell...my DH Has herniated and bulging disks in his back and has been off work for like 8 weeks all the while complaining at how bad he feels...yes, I'm sure you feel awful...esp when I had to go to l&d last week bc of preterm contractions and he mentioned how uncomfortable the seats in there were. I wanted to jump out of that bed godzilla stylee.
My BF is that I want to be enjoying pregnancy so badly but I am literally having the baby from Twilight. I have hyperemesis that has yet to go completely away, gestational diabetes, carpal tunnell...my DH Has herniated and bulging disks in his back and has been off work for like 8 weeks all the while complaining at how bad he feels...yes, I'm sure you feel awful...esp when I had to go to l&d last week bc of preterm contractions and he mentioned how uncomfortable the seats in there were. I wanted to jump out of that bed godzilla stylee.
I totally feel you on the HG. Mine is still pretty bad and when I have to go to L&D to get fluids FI always complains about how uncomfortable the chairs are. Like really, tell me more about how uncomfortable YOU are.
@ava.vaudineand @ashleaf2018 preach on the HG. I was in L&D twice to get fluids and both times SO was just a jerk about it. "being here is stressing me out." "I'm hungry." "These chairs are awful." And my absolute favorite, "I dont know why you let yourself get this sick." I wish I had the energy at the time to throw something at him.
My BF is our PS3 and how you can't use ANY of the apps you stream through it unless you're signed in. So Friday night, after DH left to go hunting, I was pumped to watch the JT concert special. Um, nope. Stupid PS3 wouldn't log in and then when I did get Netflix up, it would log out and then not work. I spent 30 minutes trying. So tonight, I'm like... oh, last night without DH, time for some Gilmore Girls. Nope. Doesn't want to sign our account in AT ALL so I can't do anything. I try HBO Go, as we had 2 things DVRing at 7:30 and I can't watch anything else. Same damn thing.
I texted DH all pissy cos I think I have a right to be upset. I told him that we need to move our plain 'ol blu-ray player upstairs to use the apps through that and move this stupid POS PS3 down so the service we actually PAY for and can't USE can actually be used. He responds, 20 minutes later (so good thing it wasn't an emergency), saying we'll switch to a different cable provider soon and use their Tivo which should fix the problem. Hopefully that is before November 25, cos I want to watch my Gilmore Girls that day upstairs in our new recliner at 37w4d!
Sorry, that was long. Just beyond frustrated with stupid technology and the lame process that is the PS3. The end.
Me: 37 years old
DH: 39 years old
Married: October 17, 2014 TTC Since: November 2015 BFP: March 31, 2016 DS: November 21, 2016
December'16 December Siggy Challenge: Elf on the Shelf Fails **winner**
@brittnic86 Your SO needs to eat a shit covered chill pill. Freaking out because you called a place that he said he was going to+regularly spends time at+went to on his own (obviously since he called you back from there) is getting a serious side eye from me, and a massive WTF?!
I can understand *kind of* the getting angry over fixing the car. It may be something he know how to do/could do in his sleep, but his kind was on something else, or he somehow tied it with being able to support you and the babies or being the man of the house. . . That is what my H would be doing mentally.
Anywho, not cool SO. Also, you didn't do anything wrong. As an adult it is his responsibility to charge his phone and have a key. Or have a hide-a-key somewhere and run to a friends house or a gas station to get a charger.
My BF is pretty minor compared to others but its really making me grind my teeth. H got a week long assignment from his temp place to finish harvest, which is awesome as we have $ while he can apply with his new CDL. However, that means I'm on my own for the evening puppy play/potty/dinner time.
So I leave the door open, and let momma our of the kennel/play area and herd her out the door. Let her have 20 minutes to run around and potty before I caller her in to eat. During that 20 min, I set out the pups food, and switched the bedding in the kennel. Feed the adult dogs, and let L play with pups. Nothing too bad, yet. As I go to put momma and pups up, I see one of the pups has liquid pooped on the brand new bedding and one has rolled in it. As I grab all 5 pups for a bath, I step in fresh adult dog poop. Like Kowboy has been outside all day, wasn't likely to be him. Which meant in the 20 minutes of running around+ another 20 of eating momma didn't poop, or signal that she needed to go back outside.
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
Ugh, sounds like we've all had a crap Monday. Mine is a long one. It started with a whole bunch of work drama that I won't go into the boring details of, but it meant that I had to be the bad guy and assign someone a really tough task that involves travel to an unstable country for the next two weeks. So that person hates me, as does their supervisor.
I called the podiatrist this morning about my possibly broken toe, and talked to the receptionist who said they had no appointments. I said then I'd just go have it x-rayed at urgent care because I had an OB appointment tomorrow and wouldn't be able to come in then. She strongly recommended against it and said I could just come in at 3:30 and they'd squeeze me in. So I go in and wait - they finally saw me at 4:30 and the first thing the nurse says is that they won't do an x-ray because I'm pregnant. Um...I told the receptionist I was 8.5 months pregnant, she said nothing about no x-rays, which is 90% of the reason I'm here. The doctor examined my foot anyway, thinks it's broken, but there's not much to do about it except wear a super hot surgical shoe so it doesn't move around. Had my feet not been swollen from pregnancy I probably could have gotten by with tape and my pair of clogs.
At this point I text DH to let him know I'm stopping to get the rest of the stuff off our registry at Target and won't be home until later. To which he replies something along the lines of "well did you at least plan for something for dinner?" Um, no dude, I didn't. Just because I was working from home this morning doesn't mean I had time to meal plan.
So then Target...I had double checked before I went that everything we still needed was still in stock, and specifically went to the one near the doctor's office and not the one near our house because the website said they had 2 of our bassinets still in stock, along with everything else. Except they didn't have the bassinet or half the other stuff that they said was in stock. I was getting really tired at this point so I figured I'd just get what I could, use the completion coupon on it, and get home. Took me like an hour of hobbling around the baby section to find stuff - the place looked like a bomb went off. But then the lady rang me up, tried my coupon and it didn't work. She called customer service over and that lady said it was "ineligible" and that there wasn't anything she could do. I asked why it was ineligible and she said something about items not being on the registry - and I did have some food stuff that wasn't on the registry, but over half the cart was on the registry. Instead of trying to figure out why it wasn't working, she offered to take 15% off just the diapers, even though she's "not supposed to." I pretty much threw a fit at this point (really not my style, but I'd had enough) and she said the only way they'd be able to take the discount is if I had printed out my registry so she could manually go through and apply the discount to the items on it. Easy enough - they have a printer at customer service. So she voids the sale, I put my cart aside and go to print the registry. Except the printer is jammed and the lady at that counter is deep in customers so she's no help. So I choose the option of sending it to my email. Email doesn't come (it did arrive about half an hour later when I was in the car on the way home). Then I choose to text the link to myself...that comes, but by that point I go back to check out and the customer service lady is nowhere to be found and the original cashier doesn't know what to do and has a line full of customers. So I pretty much said fuck this place and left empty handed. Please excuse my colorful language...I'm just done.
It's one of those nights when I REALLY wish I could have a stiff drink.
DH has a stomach bug, and despite my lysol and my face mask, I am now 90% certain that I have it too. My stomach is doing all those horrible lurching feelings right before you get super sick. There goes my Tuesday.
@gowenc umm that sounds awful and I'm sorry you had to deal with it. Can you just get everything in one online order?
@sourlemon yuck I feel for you with that. My DH gave my ILs the go ahead to come at a certain time without discussing it with me and I am not pleased.
My BF is my DH's snoring. He's getting a cold which is unfortunate, and it's making him snore big time. I just want to go to sleep....at least he stops for a bit when I nudge him.
What a Monday. I'm reading some seriously legitimately BFs.
Mine me is a combination of BFs that are meshing together to create a Big BF.
We've gotten a few quotes to get our ducting under the house replaced, and a sump pump for water collecting in the crawl space that is compromising the foundation of the house. The best quote was over $7,000. The highest was $19,000. Also getting our gutters replaced, they're falling apart and contributing to the water in the crawl space. We just started saving $. We were going to order all of the baby stuff (crib, swing, changing table, etc.). We have the basics, and don't need those things for a while, but I was excited to get them. Now they're going to have to wait until December? January? Idk.
Also, I'm miserable at 8 months pregnant. Our RCS is Dec. 7th. DH's parents usually stay with us for thanksgiving which is easy, but they've adopted 2 boys (9, 10), and want to bring their older adult sister and her baby. To stay with us. We will have 1 guest bed at that time, a broken toilet that they can't use, and a malfunctioning septic tank that makes the guest bathroom smell like poop when too much water is used (like when we have guests). Plus, they are all terrible at doing dishes (they refuse to use the dishwasher and when they hand wash there is always food left on the dishes). Then 3 brothers in laws will be coming over, 1 nephew, and I've got my own 2 kids, plus the 2 adopted boys, and the baby of older sister. I will not be able to sit or relax at all. I'm going to be a raging b*tch on the inside with a fake smile plastered on my face.
Also, DH is traveling every week for work until our RCS. I feel like we are tempting fate.
@yellingbanana Not OK. Why do they need to come to you this year? Can you use pregnancy as an excuse to cancel this year? Like 'I'm too close to RCS to travel, and I wont have time or energy to prep and clean anything, so can we switch it up, and us come to you/no one travel and just see you at Christmas?'
Formerly known as Kate08young August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Me: 28 H: 24 Married: 7/22/14 Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017. Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
Re: Monday BF
TTC since November 2015
BFP #1 12/17/15 - MC 1/28/16
BFP #2 4/22/16 - EDD 12/30/16
Wow that is so incredibly annoying.
My MIL finally booked a flight as well. She'll be here 3 nights. It's annoying though because we asked them to come in January but that wasn't possible because her husband couldn't take vacation time so it had to be between xmas and New Years. Alright, fine, we'll deal. But now the husband isn't coming, just her, but she's still coming those dates. So it overlaps with my parents visit, and I found out my SIL has her whole family visiting so my parents can't stay there either. So it's either a hotel for them, or air mattress at our place (which I think we will give them our bed and we will sleep on it). Just annoying because my parents planned ahead, will genuinely help, yet get pushed out for MIL who probably won't visit again for another 10 years.
BF is at my DH. Just when I thought we had agreed that we would keep to ourselves for Thanksgiving this year, now he keeps bringing up inviting family members over. Originally we had discussed inviting our parents over, but didn't want to make plans because we didn't know our general feelings about hosting. Then we have my dad and his dad and step mom coming over this weekend to help with some house projects, and then my mom is coming next weekend to help with some house projects - so I am just all people'd out and wanted to spend Thanksgiving day relaxing and that weekend of us finishing putting together the nursery. Yesterday I get a text from his mom asking if we want to get together Thanksgiving day. No, I don't. I want some alone time, I want to rest, I want to do little things around the house for the final prep for the baby. I don't want people in our house asking to see the nursery (none of our family members know the gender). I just want it to be DH and me since we don't know how hectic December will be with baby due Christmas week.
Then yesterday, DH is downstairs watching football, not doing the laundry like he said he was going to do. Earlier in the weekend I mentioned that the grass needs to be mowed, which that isn't being done either. So I go mow the grass because it needs to be done. I am not a high risk pregnancy in any way, but I do not think I should be out there with a push mower at 33.5 weeks pregnant. When I went down to the basement to change to go outside to do that, DH asked what I was doing, so I said I am going to go mow - no offer of "no, I'll do that" or what he later told me "I guess I should have verbalized that I was planning on doing that during the week." We were also supposed to wash the hallway and master bedroom walls yesterday, but the game went into overtime, so he had other priorities.
I am seriously trying to figure out how to cancel our TV without him knowing. It is a constant battle between me asking him to help with things and needing to fit it around hockey and football games.
Also, it was my birthday this weekend. He put absolutely no thought into it. I don't expect him to go all out like I usually do for his birthday (typically involves dinner somewhere he likes, a movie he wants to see, and going to a sports game), but I expect him to at least to have planned something. I had to decide on everything, and if I hadn't, then nothing would have happened. Originally this was supposed to be our babymoon weekend, but when I noticed that I was the only one planning it, I stopped and told him it was his turn to put the effort in, so nothing happened.
I hope your DH will wake up and realize that his hockey team isn't going to support him as a husband and father just because he never misses a game.
He keeps saying that he will do things with mil to get her out of the house for a while each day but then he's missing out on the new baby and that isn't fair. I considered keeping dd1 home from daycare but mil doesn't know what to do with her. last time she was here mil was supposed to distract DD for an hour so DH could help me paint the nursery. 5 minutes later DD is crying for daddy and mil brings her in and says she won't calm down and she's tried everything (the kid was only whiney, not crying...and no way you tried everything in 2/3 minutes). so keeping dd1 home would just make me have more work to do.
I may be being irrational about it but I only see the bad at this point. I was pressured into inviting her because she only has boys and her other son is estranged so she didn't get to see those kids until much later on. but this had been a major stressor this whole time.
1. I have no problem putting on my right sock and shoe. the left one on the other hand...ugh I just can't reach without sitting down and propping it up.
2. I took a nap yesterday afternoon then felt guilty all evening that I didn't do chores. can't I just be happy?
3. work sucks this morning.
@AbriannaO sorry your H is being kinda a loser right now. I'm thankful mine isn't into sports at all, but it's so easy in general to get disappointed over misunderstood/unmet expectations. I hope you guys are able to have an honest and eye opening conversation soon because those things will only get worse after the baby comes.
My BF is that I'm in a wedding on Saturday. I'm happy to be in the wedding, but we had the bachelorette this past weekend and I could barely walk yesterday from the back pain. I don't know how I'm going to manage a 12 hour day with this wedding... she wants us there for around 10am to start getting ready and the ceremony is at 6pm.... it's just going to be.......LONG.
@AbriannaO I had a similar situation with my husband yesterday. It's really frustrating when you're not on the same page.
My BF is that I am so uncomfortable. My hips are killing me and apparently lightening crotch came back with a vengeance today. Every time I walk I feel like I'm being stabbed in the crotch.
TTC since November 2015
BFP #1 12/17/15 - MC 1/28/16
BFP #2 4/22/16 - EDD 12/30/16
@DiFazette ha oh I feel you. I cough most nights because they're crowding my lungs, and I've just completely given up and wear pads at night. Coughing hurts, and peeing isn't fun. Not to mention when I cough so hard it triggers my gag reflex and then I'm coughing, puking, AND peeing. I can relate!
my BF is my husband's work. It's so awful, and he's applied for so many jobs, and all these places say they want to interview him, but then never actually get back to him to schedule the interview. And I feel awful, because he can't quit....we can't afford for him to quit....And at the same time I was bawling last night because he got home around 5, after leaving for work at 3:30am...only to literally turn around 10 minutes later and go back into work to work the dish pit because the dishwasher didn't show up. My husband is the executive chef.....the top position...the dishwasher is like the bottom position. He didn't get home until almost 10pm. He's salary, and they don't pay him enough...so he's not getting overtime...and the pay he is getting isn't even worth it. But we need it, especially since my brother moved out and it's just us for income now. I'm so worried that this will never change, and I'll be left alone to work, do house work, and take care of two babies by myself. I felt so bad, he loves cooking, and he said he would leave it for something else, even if it makes him miserable, because he can't sacrifice his family for his career. The thing is, he's been cooking for 10 years...he doesn't have experience doing anything else...I don't know what job he could get that would pay what he gets paid now......
It's so hard because I want so badly for him to tell them to kiss his ass and leave...but then I know we won't be able to pay our bills....
I have gestational diabetes (so I have to eat low carb) and really bad gallstones (so I have to eat low fat). So basically, I'm starving, very pregnant and miserable.
All that, compounded by the fact that I'm so sick of dealing with extended family annoyances.
IVF #1 Oct 2013- cancelled
IVF #2 Mar 2014- success.... baby girl born 11/28/14
FET #1 Mar 2016- baby boy due 12/16/16
Ive known her for all of a year and when she found out we were expecting she was a little upset. She told her (now) husband that becoming a grandmother at 37 years old wasn't in the "contract". Sorry if I inconvenienced you with our child.
Before we knew the sex, we told her the girl name we had chosen (Lillianna Grace) and she was ADAMANT they we had to change it to Lillianna Lynn -- her middle name. So we kept the boy name secret from her until the baby shower a couple weeks ago. So far, she hasn't mentioned the name, however she spells it wrong EVERY TIME.
Now, she's EXPECTING to be in the room with us when Jameson is born (NOT HAPPENING) and demanding a phone call as soon as I go into labor "so she can get her hands on HER grandson". So far I've managed to change the subject every time it's brought up and told her MY mom has the list of people to call when the time comes.
I'm sorry, but I don't need you in the room knowing you're going to instruct me on how to give birth to my second child and tell me what I'm doing wrong. You'll get your phone call when I get to my postpartum room.
And now she's pissed we won't be driving the two hours to her house for Thanksgiving. God forbid my little man wants to make an early appearance - Thanksgiving is a week before my due date - I wanna stay home where I'm a 15 minute drive from the hospital.
Thanks for the support ladies!
Can someone please pass me a Reese's?
DS: 12/20/16
EDD: 11/29/18
Thanks everyone for the support. DH will soon discover that I am a force to be reckoned with right now and that he best step up because shit is about to get real very fast. If those damn sports continue to be a distraction, looks like some family members will be getting new TVs for Christmas.
DH took me to school so we could grab lunch and get some groceries after his class. I decide to grab a drink before I sit in the library. So I'm waiting in line to check out with my drink, and this guy in front of me keeps peepin' on my bump like he's never seen a pregnant lady before. I get annoyed and say sarcastically, "Did I spill something on me that I can't see?"
He was flustered and said, " Uh, oh no! I just respect you! I'm sure it's not easy going to school right now to get that Bachelor's degree. How do you do it?" His tone was as if I ruined my life and he was taking pity on me or something.
I just replied, " I dunno, I already have a Master's."
He apologized and said that I just look " very young" and didn't realize I wasn't a student. I think I have an aura about me that says, " If you are weird, awkward, or otherwise crazy, I'd LOVE to talk to you."
I think it is totally reasonable for you to tell her she can't come for 2 weeks and/or would be totally reasonable to tell her she needs to stay in a hotel or kick her out of the house if you need quiet time. When my in laws are here I intend to go into my bedroom when the baby needs to eat/sleep (or I need a break) and if they find that rude, oh well.
TTC since 6/13
Diagnosed w/ PCOS 4/9/15 - R/E recommended lifestyle change
BFP 4/10/16 - DS born 12/16/2016
SURPRISE! BFP 3/8/18
I texted DH all pissy cos I think I have a right to be upset. I told him that we need to move our plain 'ol blu-ray player upstairs to use the apps through that and move this stupid POS PS3 down so the service we actually PAY for and can't USE can actually be used. He responds, 20 minutes later (so good thing it wasn't an emergency), saying we'll switch to a different cable provider soon and use their Tivo which should fix the problem. Hopefully that is before November 25, cos I want to watch my Gilmore Girls that day upstairs in our new recliner at 37w4d!
Sorry, that was long. Just beyond frustrated with stupid technology and the lame process that is the PS3. The end.
TTC Since: November 2015
BFP: March 31, 2016
DS: November 21, 2016
I can understand *kind of* the getting angry over fixing the car. It may be something he know how to do/could do in his sleep, but his kind was on something else, or he somehow tied it with being able to support you and the babies or being the man of the house. . . That is what my H would be doing mentally.
Anywho, not cool SO. Also, you didn't do anything wrong. As an adult it is his responsibility to charge his phone and have a key. Or have a hide-a-key somewhere and run to a friends house or a gas station to get a charger.
My BF is pretty minor compared to others but its really making me grind my teeth. H got a week long assignment from his temp place to finish harvest, which is awesome as we have $ while he can apply with his new CDL. However, that means I'm on my own for the evening puppy play/potty/dinner time.
So I leave the door open, and let momma our of the kennel/play area and herd her out the door. Let her have 20 minutes to run around and potty before I caller her in to eat. During that 20 min, I set out the pups food, and switched the bedding in the kennel. Feed the adult dogs, and let L play with pups. Nothing too bad, yet. As I go to put momma and pups up, I see one of the pups has liquid pooped on the brand new bedding and one has rolled in it. As I grab all 5 pups for a bath, I step in fresh adult dog poop. Like Kowboy has been outside all day, wasn't likely to be him. Which meant in the 20 minutes of running around+ another 20 of eating momma didn't poop, or signal that she needed to go back outside.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.
I called the podiatrist this morning about my possibly broken toe, and talked to the receptionist who said they had no appointments. I said then I'd just go have it x-rayed at urgent care because I had an OB appointment tomorrow and wouldn't be able to come in then. She strongly recommended against it and said I could just come in at 3:30 and they'd squeeze me in. So I go in and wait - they finally saw me at 4:30 and the first thing the nurse says is that they won't do an x-ray because I'm pregnant. Um...I told the receptionist I was 8.5 months pregnant, she said nothing about no x-rays, which is 90% of the reason I'm here. The doctor examined my foot anyway, thinks it's broken, but there's not much to do about it except wear a super hot surgical shoe so it doesn't move around. Had my feet not been swollen from pregnancy I probably could have gotten by with tape and my pair of clogs.
At this point I text DH to let him know I'm stopping to get the rest of the stuff off our registry at Target and won't be home until later. To which he replies something along the lines of "well did you at least plan for something for dinner?" Um, no dude, I didn't. Just because I was working from home this morning doesn't mean I had time to meal plan.
So then Target...I had double checked before I went that everything we still needed was still in stock, and specifically went to the one near the doctor's office and not the one near our house because the website said they had 2 of our bassinets still in stock, along with everything else. Except they didn't have the bassinet or half the other stuff that they said was in stock. I was getting really tired at this point so I figured I'd just get what I could, use the completion coupon on it, and get home. Took me like an hour of hobbling around the baby section to find stuff - the place looked like a bomb went off. But then the lady rang me up, tried my coupon and it didn't work. She called customer service over and that lady said it was "ineligible" and that there wasn't anything she could do. I asked why it was ineligible and she said something about items not being on the registry - and I did have some food stuff that wasn't on the registry, but over half the cart was on the registry. Instead of trying to figure out why it wasn't working, she offered to take 15% off just the diapers, even though she's "not supposed to." I pretty much threw a fit at this point (really not my style, but I'd had enough) and she said the only way they'd be able to take the discount is if I had printed out my registry so she could manually go through and apply the discount to the items on it. Easy enough - they have a printer at customer service. So she voids the sale, I put my cart aside and go to print the registry. Except the printer is jammed and the lady at that counter is deep in customers so she's no help. So I choose the option of sending it to my email. Email doesn't come (it did arrive about half an hour later when I was in the car on the way home). Then I choose to text the link to myself...that comes, but by that point I go back to check out and the customer service lady is nowhere to be found and the original cashier doesn't know what to do and has a line full of customers. So I pretty much said fuck this place and left empty handed. Please excuse my colorful language...I'm just done.
It's one of those nights when I REALLY wish I could have a stiff drink.
@sourlemon yuck I feel for you with that. My DH gave my ILs the go ahead to come at a certain time without discussing it with me and I am not pleased.
My BF is my DH's snoring. He's getting a cold which is unfortunate, and it's making him snore big time. I just want to go to sleep....at least he stops for a bit when I nudge him.
edit - snore not sneeze
Mine me is a combination of BFs that are meshing together to create a Big BF.
We've gotten a few quotes to get our ducting under the house replaced, and a sump pump for water collecting in the crawl space that is compromising the foundation of the house. The best quote was over $7,000. The highest was $19,000. Also getting our gutters replaced, they're falling apart and contributing to the water in the crawl space. We just started saving $. We were going to order all of the baby stuff (crib, swing, changing table, etc.). We have the basics, and don't need those things for a while, but I was excited to get them. Now they're going to have to wait until December? January? Idk.
Also, I'm miserable at 8 months pregnant. Our RCS is Dec. 7th. DH's parents usually stay with us for thanksgiving which is easy, but they've adopted 2 boys (9, 10), and want to bring their older adult sister and her baby. To stay with us. We will have 1 guest bed at that time, a broken toilet that they can't use, and a malfunctioning septic tank that makes the guest bathroom smell like poop when too much water is used (like when we have guests). Plus, they are all terrible at doing dishes (they refuse to use the dishwasher and when they hand wash there is always food left on the dishes). Then 3 brothers in laws will be coming over, 1 nephew, and I've got my own 2 kids, plus the 2 adopted boys, and the baby of older sister. I will not be able to sit or relax at all. I'm going to be a raging b*tch on the inside with a fake smile plastered on my face.
Also, DH is traveling every week for work until our RCS. I feel like we are tempting fate.
Oh, and I've got a cold... again.
Formerly known as Kate08young
August '18 Siggy April Showers:
Married: 7/22/14
Baby L: 8/4/2015 August 2015 Moms
Baby E: 11/18/2016 December 2016 Moms
TTC #3 08/2017 BFP 11/27/2017.
Twin B lost 11/22/2017, Twin A doing well.