My long introduction

ameliabedelia-2 · November 2016

Hey all! I have posted a few times on the TTC board, but honestly, I think I need to surround myself with people in the same boat.

My husband and I have been dealing with secondary infertility for the last year and a half. We have a 2.5 year old daughter and started trying again when she turned 1. We were (and are) shocked to find ourselves in this awful situation. I am turning 35 shortly and my husband is 37. We started seeing an RE in June and I was diagnosed with PCOS and a large cyst which was impacting egg development. I had a cancelled cycle in August, a cyst aspiration in September and a failed IUI cycle in October.

I have been handling this crappy journey really well up until the last month or so. All of a sudden the weight of it all seems to be suffocating. It's all I think about it and it's impacting my mood, my patience....everything. I find myself just weeping in the middle of the day for no reason and dreading going back to the RE for another cycle.

We are at the end of a cycle on birth control. We had to take another month off due to insurance issues and pre-approval problems. I am sick of the doctor and nurses telling me "oh well, if we can't make it work this cycle, just call us with your next day 1"....I have had 18 f'ing day 1's over the last year and a half. I wish people would stop saying that so nonchalantly, like who cares if we have to wait yet another month.....I am sick of waiting. I want other people to understand my frustration and offer me solutions and recommendations, rather than shoulder shrugs and no answers.

So yeah, that was long. I am sorry to be here with you all and look forward to getting to know some of you.

HopefulLily · November 2016

I totally understand how your feeling, the waiting is the worst. Good luck to you!

latershrader · November 2016

I am right there with you. Just hurry up and wait. Someone else said it on another thread, this whole IF journey is just a bunch of waiting. I'm sorry you find yourself here. But this is a great bunch of ladies with lot of advice and comforting words. Hope this place can help you get through it.

rainbowwishes5 · November 2016

Sucks!!!!!!!! I hate cycling. Unfortunately, welcome. Fx no more day 1s!!

oxinfree · November 2016

Well I certainly can relate and understand your frustration @AmeliaBedelia ... Every month that passes is another month of pain and suffering while watching the world move on with their lives. Doctors and nurses, unless they've personally experienced infertility, have no clue what it's like unfortunately. I wish we could make them understand but no amount of patients telling them what it's like will ever equate to what it really feels like to be in our shoes. Glad you made the switchover to this board, you'll find a lot more women who can relate

xo

Trumom16 · November 2016

@oxinfree, so true. no matter how much tell them or even cry in front of them (I have cried in front of my doctor so manytimes) they don understand. it's sad the process goes so slowly dragging us into depression slowly. all we can do is hold on tight to our hopes.

rainbowwishes5 · November 2016

My RE AND my nurse both had infertility problems and it's the same chirpy call with Day 1 scenario...

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