@ashleym112 Not much yet in the way of baby movement. I don't know if my placenta is anterior or posterior though so that could explain. My OB said at my last appt that 19-21 weeks was normal for FTMs to start feeling movement.
We toured the hospital that we are planning to deliver at last night and I had a major freak out in the car afterwards. My husband thought I was worried it wasn't crunchy enough and that turned into a hard conversation about hiring a doula. Because of the tense doula talk I haven't had time to really process what was so upsetting about being at the hospital. I know it wasn't about my desire to have a natural birth and fearing that the hospital wouldn't be supportive, they were saying all the right things. I just felt this low level of dread and fear the entire time we were there. We even got to see a newborn baby and I felt nothing; not AH!, not "gimme that baby", nothing. I've been having a hard time getting excited about this pregnancy. I know I am supposed to be excited it was planned but it was also the first try so that was a bit surprising. I can feel the space opening up in me for excitement to fill in but right now it feels full of fear. I don't think I'm scared of the birth, maybe it's the baby part? I don't know. I'm having lots of feels right now and I needed to share.
@Omie_Wise I'm sorry! I haven't done a tour yet but I'm sure I'll feel the same way. Especially as a FTM, seeing the place where such an important event will happen must be intense. (Are you a FTM?) I'm sure you're not alone. But that's what we're here for, and hopefully you'll get some good advice and encouragement.
@Omie_Wise I was terrified almost my whole pregnancy with DS. Taking our prenatal class was really overwhelming and I left feeling less sure of myself than I was when we got there. I was excited and joyful too but there was always this part of me filled with anxiety over what labour would be like, and life with a baby, and even taking a year off work (I cried the day I packed up my office).
Even with baby #2 there is a bit of anxiety and uncertainty mixed in with the joy.
@Omie_Wise I felt the same way when I toured with our first. I loved being PG but seeing those babies and knowing I would have to take one home freaked me out.
I have started to feel flutters. Soon there will be kicks, and then the part I dread, seeing her moving through my skin. DS has started putting his finger in my bellybutton to "tickle" his baby sister. It's cute, but I don't care for it.
Unlike majority of you ladies, I have not shaken my hypermesis and I'm 15 weeks. I'm so miserable and tired of being sick, but I do get motivated when reading your posts, hoping the day of relief is soon to come for me. I too want to become excited about my second baby as I did with my DD 8 years ago.
@Omie_Wise ALL OF THIS! I had prompt, full blown panic attack when we did our hospital tour with our first baby. I had never been a patient at a hospital and I hated being there. It was a very "oh shit" moment even though the staff said all the right things. I gave birth and still hated the hospital part. My husband could sleep but, I was awake counting the hours until they would let us go home. I think some people just have an aversion. We even had the largest nicest room on the floor.
Also, I'm going to get real honest. I didn't really like my baby until she was about 3 months old. She started to get a little personality and it was like, "oh my God she is a little person and she is amazing". I think I'm too much of realist. I don't believe in the whole, "I loved you before I knew you" stuff. That baby, although kept safe in your own body, is still a stranger. It took me time to warm up to her. Don't get me wrong, the newborn snuggles and noises are overwhelmingly cute! I just didn't really think of her as more than my squooshy, cuddly, blob the first few weeks.
This is my second baby and I'm still as reserved as the first time around. When they are in my arms, safe, healthy, happy, I will be the most excited. Also, I'm really looking forward to my husband and our daughter meeting them!
Also, I'm going to get real honest. I didn't really like my baby until she was about 3 months old. She started to get a little personality and it was like, "oh my God she is a little person and she is amazing". I think I'm too much of realist. I don't believe in the whole, "I loved you before I knew you" stuff. That baby, although kept safe in your own body, is still a stranger. It took me time to warm up to her. Don't get me wrong, the newborn snuggles and noises are overwhelmingly cute! I just didn't really think of her as more than my squooshy, cuddly, blob the first few weeks.
Thank you for this! I don't know why but this is a major fear of mine that I haven't really wanted to admit to. We wanted this baby so badly, I prayed and prayed and wanted this little girl for a long time but I am so terrified that I may not like her in the beginning.
I had really bad fatigue in the early 1st tri so I'm glad that's gone. Also I didn't have much in the way of morning sickness but coffee was sadly really gross early on. That's gone too. I didn't have much in the way of symptoms with my 1st pregnancy either so I haven't been too nervous.
My belly has grown a lot faster this time though. I need to move to maternity pants now.
@ashleym112@thecavfamily I'm totally spoiled this go around but it just makes me feel so guilty! I love when guys take some items on themselves. Too sweet!
@HGRich@allybadry@Virginialeigh@jennielynn+ Thank you so much for the kind words and support! It makes me feel a lot better that my reaction wasn't unique. I am a FTM so I'm probably just freaking out about how much my life is about to change. I'm so grateful to have a sympathetic community to reach out to. Thank you again!
@Omie_Wise YES. I totally agree with you. I want to be excited, we kind of "planned", but it just happened so quickly and there were so many other things going on that I feel overwhelmed. It's been hard to really feel so happy and have the same level of anticipation as others. I am hoping that the anatomy scan on Tuesday will help me feel more excited and the whole situation seem more real.
@Omie_Wise ALL OF THIS! I had prompt, full blown panic attack when we did our hospital tour with our first baby. I had never been a patient at a hospital and I hated being there. It was a very "oh shit" moment even though the staff said all the right things. I gave birth and still hated the hospital part. My husband could sleep but, I was awake counting the hours until they would let us go home. I think some people just have an aversion. We even had the largest nicest room on the floor.
Also, I'm going to get real honest. I didn't really like my baby until she was about 3 months old. She started to get a little personality and it was like, "oh my God she is a little person and she is amazing". I think I'm too much of realist. I don't believe in the whole, "I loved you before I knew you" stuff. That baby, although kept safe in your own body, is still a stranger. It took me time to warm up to her. Don't get me wrong, the newborn snuggles and noises are overwhelmingly cute! I just didn't really think of her as more than my squooshy, cuddly, blob the first few weeks.
This is my second baby and I'm still as reserved as the first time around. When they are in my arms, safe, healthy, happy, I will be the most excited. Also, I'm really looking forward to my husband and our daughter meeting them!
I can relate. I didn't really feel "love" until after a few days at home. I liked my baby, I just wasn't all emotional about him. Something about being at home, being alone, feeding your baby draws you closer. The hospital environment just seemed cold and uninviting.
I haven't toured our hospital yet but I did have a mild freak out moment when I was at the store and decided to look at maternity clothes. I'm not sure why but it really scared me. I think maybe the thought of losing control of my body. I'm sure it won't be my last freak out.
I feel the same as a lot of other people here. This was a planned pregnancy and I'm happy to be pregnant but I'm also scared that soon I'll have a tiny human that COMPLETELY relies on me for everything to live. Life is going to be very different. I know it'll be hard at first but I'm reminding myself that I'll love it.
MMC @ 10w March 2016 Cautiously expecting April 5, 2017
It's such a huge thing. Sometimes I watch my three year old play and think "you used to be nothing. I made you exist' and then I get all freaked out and want to eat chocolate.
I was so over the moon when pregnant with her. This time, I feel very little excitement. Mostly just overwhelmed and a bit bothered by pregnancy.
@cafedisco I love "you used to be nothing. I made you exist...then freaking out and eating chocolate" that quote just made my day.
Pregnancy is weird. I am so excited but I feel like there are so many feelings (emotional and physical) that you just can't prepare for. I am also feeling like there are things I am supposed to be doing to get ready and I can't think of anything.
@cafedisco I love "you used to be nothing. I made you exist...then freaking out and eating chocolate" that quote just made my day.
Pregnancy is weird. I am so excited but I feel like there are so many feelings (emotional and physical) that you just can't prepare for. I am also feeling like there are things I am supposed to be doing to get ready and I can't think of anything.
I personally think this is why so many women suffer from some form of PPD/PPA. It's too big of a change to process without feeling a bit off the scale of normal for most....especially with the level of support women in the US tend to get.
Me: 31 DH: 36 Married 5 years DD born 8/30/13 #2 expected 4/25/17
Agreed with those who have moments of panic/distress/apathy/all the feels (sorry I'm late to the party on this one!). I also agree with @cafedisco that I know there are things I need to do to prepare for this kid, but I totally blank on what those are most of the time. Just taking things one day at a time!
Re: End of the month Pregnancy Chatter 10/28
Even with baby #2 there is a bit of anxiety and uncertainty mixed in with the joy.
@Omie_Wise I felt the same way when I toured with our first. I loved being PG but seeing those babies and knowing I would have to take one home freaked me out.
I have started to feel flutters. Soon there will be kicks, and then the part I dread, seeing her moving through my skin. DS has started putting his finger in my bellybutton to "tickle" his baby sister. It's cute, but I don't care for it.
ALL OF THIS! I had prompt, full blown panic attack when we did our hospital tour with our first baby. I had never been a patient at a hospital and I hated being there. It was a very "oh shit" moment even though the staff said all the right things. I gave birth and still hated the hospital part. My husband could sleep but, I was awake counting the hours until they would let us go home. I think some people just have an aversion. We even had the largest nicest room on the floor.
Also, I'm going to get real honest. I didn't really like my baby until she was about 3 months old. She started to get a little personality and it was like, "oh my God she is a little person and she is amazing". I think I'm too much of realist. I don't believe in the whole, "I loved you before I knew you" stuff. That baby, although kept safe in your own body, is still a stranger. It took me time to warm up to her. Don't get me wrong, the newborn snuggles and noises are overwhelmingly cute! I just didn't really think of her as more than my squooshy, cuddly, blob the first few weeks.
This is my second baby and I'm still as reserved as the first time around. When they are in my arms, safe, healthy, happy, I will be the most excited. Also, I'm really looking forward to my husband and our daughter meeting them!
My belly has grown a lot faster this time though. I need to move to maternity pants now.
DD Born 5.9.12
MC March 2016@8.5w
Expecting #2 4/30/17
MMC @ 10w March 2016Cautiously expecting April 5, 2017
<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lmtf.lilypie.com/ZBoVm5.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Maternity tickers" /></a>
I was so over the moon when pregnant with her. This time, I feel very little excitement. Mostly just overwhelmed and a bit bothered by pregnancy.
@mrsstuessy I'm so sorry you're in so much pain!
DH: 36
Married 5 years
DD born 8/30/13
#2 expected 4/25/17
Pregnancy is weird. I am so excited but I feel like there are so many feelings (emotional and physical) that you just can't prepare for. I am also feeling like there are things I am supposed to be doing to get ready and I can't think of anything.
DH: 36
Married 5 years
DD born 8/30/13
#2 expected 4/25/17
Agreed with those who have moments of panic/distress/apathy/all the feels (sorry I'm late to the party on this one!). I also agree with @cafedisco that I know there are things I need to do to prepare for this kid, but I totally blank on what those are most of the time. Just taking things one day at a time!