Sep anxiety hitting fever pitch? — The Bump
September 2015 Moms

Sep anxiety hitting fever pitch?

paine0925paine0925 member
edited November 2016 in September 2015 Moms
Tell me ya'll are going through this too? If I so much as turn away from LO she can start her whiny cry just anticipating I'm going to walk away from her. Her dad and grandma, both whom she ADORES, don't even hold a candle to me anymore - she only wants me. If they try to grab her from me she has a complete meltdown. She's been walking for months now but all of a sudden acts like her legs are broken the minute I put her down and starts to freak. This is normal right? Just a developmental thing? How long does this typically last for? It's wearing on us. What is the best response? I immediately go to her to comfort her, I figure she will outgrow this phase at some point and I want her to feel safe. My DH thinks we should just let her cry and "get used" to it - but that clearly doesn't work. What are others doing??

Re: Sep anxiety hitting fever pitch?

  • I've talked about this with our daycare providers because Ayla just moved up to the next classroom and started having a hard time when I left.  They said it helps when parents don't encourage it by coming back and giving attention but rather leaving quickly.  I allow them to be the ones to comfort her, and obviously she doesn't respond as well to that but she's getting better.  By the 6th day she didn't cry at all when I left, but most days it stopped once I left.  I think our kiddos are learning how to express what they want (not just what they need), and while it shows healthy bonding for them to not want us to leave, it also shows comfortable independence for them to be able to see us leave and know they're still safe.  I also use a routine, per someone's recommendation, and say and do the same thing each time I leave her.  I agree that it might not be good for them to grab her from you.  I give her a hug, kiss the top of her head, tell her how much I love her and that I can't wait to see her again, then set her down with some toys.  If she cries, one of her teachers comes to comfort her.
    Married 6.21.2014
    DD #1: 8.16.2015
    #2 EDD: 1.13.2019
  • I think we are starting to head into this too, although she took off across the playground today so it may have just been a too many visitors thing. If I'm leaving to go somewhere, I let her dad comfort her. I give her a kiss and tell her I'll be back and then hand her over. If she cries when I put her down, I don't pick her right back up, but I do offer hugs and kisses and cuddles on the floor. I also try to be more understanding of her wanting to be held when she's having an off day. When I have to set her down to do something, or leave the room, I let her know and tell her I will be right back. I have also found that taking extra time to sit on the floor with her while she plays helps too. 

    I read somewhere that toddlers are a bit at war with themselves as far as wanting to be independent but also wanting to be a baby. This certainly seems to be true of mine. 
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  • Mine has never shown any separation anxiety but I second @missliz53 and of she cries when I'm not holding her I'll give her hugs and kisses on the floor. It's worked really well and now she'll walk over and hug my leg occasionally, which is adorable.
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