I believe in being polite. But I do not believe in following rules for rules' sake. I would never not go to someone's shower because they didn't follow traditional etiquette. However, my family and social circle is pretty small so if I'm getting an invite to something like that, it's someone I care about a lot and will forgive any etiquette transgressions.
Also, I buy gifts off-registry (is this a FFFC?). I don't like that most registries now email to let you know something was purchased. I like people to be surprised when they open gifts.
Me: 31 DH: 36 Married 5 years DD born 8/30/13 #2 expected 4/25/17
@cafedisco agreed. I think it's polite to provide registry information, and if you don't then don't complain you didn't get what you wanted! I also buy off the registry, but usually if I know it's something they will love or has special meaning.
My UO is that while I am sad the Indians didn't win the World Series last night (not that I'm a huge follower, just a life-long Clevelander), part of me is relieved that we don't have to go through the headache of another parade on a work day (Friday was their tentative plan if we won). I say this mainly because I get to leave work at 1pm tomorrow for my dr appt and it would've affected that, so I just didn't want to deal with the traffic leaving downtown! Also, I think its great the Cubs won, they've been waiting a longer time than we have.
My UO (or maybe it's a FFFC) is that I find it crazy annoying when people choose to make their first post ever on The Bump a poll for us to pick a baby name or to inform us of a loss. I'm sympathetic about any loss, but really, why go to a group and freak people out that you've never talked to before... go to the loss board where you can get some more support.
So my UO comes from the baby shower threads... I don't think Baby Showers are about celebrating baby, I think they are about celebrating the mom/parents. So the whole argument that every baby deserves a shower doesn't really hold any weight with me. Also I don't think anyone deserves a party, they're just a nice gesture.
Random UO--I think man buns are sexy. unfortunately I married a man with no hair at all so it doesn't matter. He can grow an amazing beard though and wants to start growing it out now until baby is born. I haven't decided if I'm gonna let him.
My UO is also from the baby shower thread (hot topics in there, I guess). I think it is straight up rude to totally deny a close family member from throwing you a party/baby shower, just because you have already had a baby. I mean, it's not like you are the one throwing a shower and I would assume everyone would know that. So, what do you care if your family really wants to celebrate you again? I guess if it was like a distant cousin or something that might be weird. But, if my sister or mom or best friend really wants to do something, I am going to let them. I would never expect or ask anyone to throw me a party. But, I would be so sad if my SIL (or another close friend/relative) had another baby and wouldn't allow me to celebrate again. But, I am definitely someone who is all about celebrating every single chance I get. Life is freaking hard (for me, at least). If I finally have something to be happy about, I go all out. Because you never know what sadness tomorrow might bring.
Wow, I sounded pretty jaded at the end there. Sorry for being such a bummer.
Me: 28 year old SAHM/Birth Doula DH: 30 year old pneumatic electrical engineer
Married: October 8, 2011
DD1: September 24, 2013 BFP: June 25, 2016 and MC: July 3, 2016 DD2: April 16, 2017 BFP: November 30, 2018 EDD: August 14, 2019
My UO, I think all the categorized threads for certain days is killing TB. We had the typical threads like this one, HDBD, FFFC, TW Tuesday on my last bump baby, but none of the ticker threads and some of the other ones. It was WAY more involved and interactive. I love seeing threads with specific titles. Sorry, not sorry, about your ticket change, it's annoying to follow on my phone.
Also so I hate beards!! So glad my husband is clean shaven.
I also think too many people have a weird relationship with gift giving. I like buying people presents. I like receiving presents. Presents are just fun, that's why they are a thing. Why do some people have to feel so weird about getting presents. If I want to buy you a damn present, just let me and be happy about it. Don't feel like I did it out of obligation. Don't feel like you owe me. Just enjoy the moment. Enjoy the present. And enjoy the fact that someone loves you so much they wanted to give you something.
This probably comes from my dad's super dysfunctional family who is super weird about ever getting or receiving gifts. They ruined Christmas, birthdays and other occasions because they hate receiving and giving gifts. I hate that. Just let me love you!
Me: 28 year old SAHM/Birth Doula DH: 30 year old pneumatic electrical engineer
Married: October 8, 2011
DD1: September 24, 2013 BFP: June 25, 2016 and MC: July 3, 2016 DD2: April 16, 2017 BFP: November 30, 2018 EDD: August 14, 2019
@HGRich haha that is actually unpopular. Not with you on that one
MY UO for the day: dark chocolate is horrible and no matter how hard i try to like it, I don't.
Me: 35 year old FTM, a busy city banker living in London, and a constant worrier. My DH: French guy, car fanatic, best husband ever. Our baby boy: Due on 17 April, currently 37 weeks. I can't believe it - I made it to full term!!!! Last measurement: 3150 gs at 37+1! This is going to be a big baby
@mrsstuessy I'm with you! If someone wants to have a party, why not have a party? Parties are fun, and if you don't think so don't go. And if you don't want to buy a big present for a second baby, buy some books. And even if there was no second shower, wouldn't you likely bring some kind of gift when you went to meet baby? So what's the problem with a second shower? I don't understand why people get all huffy about someone having a shower for a second baby.
DD #1: April 2017 DD #2: May 2020 Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
Random UO--I think man buns are sexy. unfortunately I married a man with no hair at all so it doesn't matter. He can grow an amazing beard though and wants to start growing it out now until baby is born. I haven't decided if I'm gonna let him.
MY HUSBAND IS GROWING A MAN BUN THIS WINTER AND I'M SO EXCITED I HAVE TO YELL ABOUT IT!
Me: 31 DH: 36 Married 5 years DD born 8/30/13 #2 expected 4/25/17
@mrsstuessy I really like your way of thinking about showers and birthdays! I think it is important to remember that these events are to celebrate the good in life...not to follow rules.
@Cook3133 I only liked for your comments on board organization, which I 100% agree with. You are so wrong about man buns.
Me: 31 DH: 36 Married 5 years DD born 8/30/13 #2 expected 4/25/17
I completely agree with you about parties and presents. I come from a large close knit family. We love to throw parties and give presents. It doesnt matter if it's your third kid, graduation, a birthday, or you just feel like being social. We call them "comidas" or gatherings with food, and they sometimes last all day. Last Sunday we had one and my cousin announce she is also expecting in April! The love was palpable and it was amazing to hear stories about birth and motherhood from all the women there, it started at 9 am and I didn't leave till 4 pm.
Life is too short to worry about etiquette, there are way more important things.
My UO, I think all the categorized threads for certain days is killing TB. We had the typical threads like this one, HDBD, FFFC, TW Tuesday on my last bump baby, but none of the ticker threads and some of the other ones. It was WAY more involved and interactive. I love seeing threads with specific titles. Sorry, not sorry, about your ticket change, it's annoying to follow on my phone.
Also so I hate beards!! So glad my husband is clean shaven.
I totally agree with this! I can see the HDBD, WTF Wed, UO Thursday, etc... even the ticker changes ones. However, the "end of the month pregnancy chatter"... I may just want to know who's peeing themselves and not who is still throwing up. If the person peeing themselves made a thread, and the person throwing up made a thread I could pick what I wanted to engage in....these are silly examples, but I think you can get the point. We are all in the 2nd tri now, if something comes up it should be ok to post a new thread about it.
I do think April tends to be a little slow, I often find myself lurking March. That said, if anyone wants to start a new thread, they can. I believe the general consensus in the beginning was that it is just preferred that if you start a post, that it's something that will benefit more than just the person posting, i.e. not help me pick a name for my baby or does this ultrasound show a boy or girl.
ETA I do love the organization but sometimes it can be a bit limiting.
Honestly, I'd rather the "noise" of random threads. It's hard to search for answers to questions, and really hard to follow threads with 3 different conversations going on. I would love to ditch the "theme" posts.
I guess my UO is that I like the organization of the boards. I wouldn't want to see a million posts about each persons symptoms, when it can just be posted in one thread. I read every single thread and every single post, why not have everything as organized as possible? Also, some of the other threads, such as "What my pregnant self is eating/crying" is just supposed to be a fun, light-hearted thread to break up the monotony of the ticker change threads. I do agree with @LittleChick2 that if you have an idea for a thread or question that you think would be beneficial as a group discussion (i.e. The flu shot thread, Black Friday thread, etc) then go for it!
ETA: I love GTKY type threads! I just suck at coming up with the questions, but I will always play along with those as well!
I think board organization is like a good book club (stay with me). It's nice to have some really good, on-topic discussion about the book that's been part of our lives for the past few weeks in reading it and thinking about it. But it would be reeeeeeally awkward if that wasn't also mixed in with a healthy dose of natural, organically flowing fun conversations about life besides the book. If a random stranger showed up and started talking about pickles, we might be bothered a bit, but more than likely, we'd be quite amused by her while she stuck around. No real harm done (unless she steals our wine or something).
I doubt anyone would ever agree on how many weekly threads vs not we should/should not have, but I think we're all pretty cool around here. I don't think anyone is going to get worked up/bothered over too many threads being structured or random.
Me: 31 DH: 36 Married 5 years DD born 8/30/13 #2 expected 4/25/17
@ashleym112 Same here! At least we have the Cavs. I tell myself that my child will actually be born when Cleveland is a reigning champion at a sport
I know, thank god for the Cavs! especially since the Browns haven't won a game at all this season... I don't know how my stepdad has survived this season, him and my mom are huge CLE sports fans.
I think someone might have said this already, but my UO is that your first post on a BMB shouldn't be a loss post...I think loss posts in general can be pretty difficult for people who are PGAL and even those who aren't. I'm not suggesting that someone who is part of the community can't post one; they certainly should. But someone who has never posted before should post her loss post elsewhere.
DD #1: April 2017 DD #2: May 2020 Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
Re: Unpopular Opinions 11.3
I believe in being polite. But I do not believe in following rules for rules' sake. I would never not go to someone's shower because they didn't follow traditional etiquette. However, my family and social circle is pretty small so if I'm getting an invite to something like that, it's someone I care about a lot and will forgive any etiquette transgressions.
Also, I buy gifts off-registry (is this a FFFC?). I don't like that most registries now email to let you know something was purchased. I like people to be surprised when they open gifts.
DH: 36
Married 5 years
DD born 8/30/13
#2 expected 4/25/17
My UO is that while I am sad the Indians didn't win the World Series last night (not that I'm a huge follower, just a life-long Clevelander), part of me is relieved that we don't have to go through the headache of another parade on a work day (Friday was their tentative plan if we won). I say this mainly because I get to leave work at 1pm tomorrow for my dr appt and it would've affected that, so I just didn't want to deal with the traffic leaving downtown! Also, I think its great the Cubs won, they've been waiting a longer time than we have.
DS--N14
Baby #2 EDD--4/16/17
MMC @ 10w March 2016Cautiously expecting April 5, 2017
<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lmtf.lilypie.com/ZBoVm5.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Maternity tickers" /></a>
Wow, I sounded pretty jaded at the end there. Sorry for being such a bummer.
DH: 30 year old pneumatic electrical engineer
BFP: June 25, 2016 and MC: July 3, 2016
DD2: April 16, 2017
BFP: November 30, 2018 EDD: August 14, 2019
Also so I hate beards!! So glad my husband is clean shaven.
I also think too many people have a weird relationship with gift giving. I like buying people presents. I like receiving presents. Presents are just fun, that's why they are a thing. Why do some people have to feel so weird about getting presents. If I want to buy you a damn present, just let me and be happy about it. Don't feel like I did it out of obligation. Don't feel like you owe me. Just enjoy the moment. Enjoy the present. And enjoy the fact that someone loves you so much they wanted to give you something.
This probably comes from my dad's super dysfunctional family who is super weird about ever getting or receiving gifts. They ruined Christmas, birthdays and other occasions because they hate receiving and giving gifts. I hate that. Just let me love you!
DH: 30 year old pneumatic electrical engineer
BFP: June 25, 2016 and MC: July 3, 2016
DD2: April 16, 2017
BFP: November 30, 2018 EDD: August 14, 2019
MY UO for the day: dark chocolate is horrible and no matter how hard i try to like it, I don't.
My DH: French guy, car fanatic, best husband ever.
Our baby boy: Due on 17 April, currently 37 weeks. I can't believe it - I made it to full term!!!!
Last measurement: 3150 gs at 37+1! This is going to be a big baby
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022
DH: 36
Married 5 years
DD born 8/30/13
#2 expected 4/25/17
@Cook3133 I only liked for your comments on board organization, which I 100% agree with. You are so wrong about man buns.
DH: 36
Married 5 years
DD born 8/30/13
#2 expected 4/25/17
@cafedisco I thought I would be completely alone! Hahaha.
@smallanimal I LOVE dark chocolate but I agree it has to be a certain amount of dark. Between 65%-72% cacao is perfect.
MMC @ 10w March 2016Cautiously expecting April 5, 2017
<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lmtf.lilypie.com/ZBoVm5.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Maternity tickers" /></a>
I completely agree with you about parties and presents. I come from a large close knit family. We love to throw parties and give presents. It doesnt matter if it's your third kid, graduation, a birthday, or you just feel like being social. We call them "comidas" or gatherings with food, and they sometimes last all day. Last Sunday we had one and my cousin announce she is also expecting in April! The love was palpable and it was amazing to hear stories about birth and motherhood from all the women there, it started at 9 am and I didn't leave till 4 pm.
Life is too short to worry about etiquette, there are way more important things.
I totally agree with this! I can see the HDBD, WTF Wed, UO Thursday, etc... even the ticker changes ones. However, the "end of the month pregnancy chatter"... I may just want to know who's peeing themselves and not who is still throwing up. If the person peeing themselves made a thread, and the person throwing up made a thread I could pick what I wanted to engage in....these are silly examples, but I think you can get the point. We are all in the 2nd tri now, if something comes up it should be ok to post a new thread about it.
ETA I do love the organization but sometimes it can be a bit limiting.
ETA: I love GTKY type threads! I just suck at coming up with the questions, but I will always play along with those as well!
Married: 5/30/2013
DSS #1: 5/25/2007
DSS #2: 1/22/2011
DS #3: 7/8/2012
BFP: 3/14/2016 ~ MC: 3/19/2016
DS #4: 4/21/17
I doubt anyone would ever agree on how many weekly threads vs not we should/should not have, but I think we're all pretty cool around here. I don't think anyone is going to get worked up/bothered over too many threads being structured or random.
DH: 36
Married 5 years
DD born 8/30/13
#2 expected 4/25/17
MMC @ 10w March 2016Cautiously expecting April 5, 2017
<a href="http://lilypie.com/"><img src="http://lmtf.lilypie.com/ZBoVm5.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Lilypie Maternity tickers" /></a>
DS--N14
Baby #2 EDD--4/16/17
DD #2: May 2020
Baby #3: EDD May 2023; MC October 2022