June 2017 Moms

Gender ultrasound

so I want to do a Christmas gender reveal and surprise my family at our Christmas Eve party. The recommended is 15 weeks at the independent ultrasound places, I'll be 14w when I plan to go (dec 20th). I had an ultrasound done with my son at 16 weeks and everything went well and they could easily tell gender.  For those who have done this, at what week did you get a gender confirmation? I'm also super nervous they'll get it wrong, any horror stories?! 

Re: Gender ultrasound

  • Definitely logged into my old account hahahah oops. My app isn't working !! 

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  • All joking aside, as I know there will likely be comments made to correct the post re: gender vs. sex...

    I am thinking of doing one around Christmas or my kids birthday in early January so they can see/understand as well as find out the sex early.  This is through a 'boutique' type place but with my Perinatologist from my first pregnancy... same techs used for medically necessary ones...
  • Sex. Sex ultrasound. Actually, it's technically an anatomy scan, because the purpose and importance behind them is to check the development of your child's anatomy. 

    Not only is it a shot in the dark to be able to determine sex at 14 weeks, but the ACOG advises against u/s unless the benefits outweigh the risks. Being impatient to learn your child's sex isn't one of the cases. 
    This.  All of this.  And especially the bolded.
  • The sex vs gender terminology doesn't matter to me sooo... 
    @Elyse1384 haha this is my fear. I definitely wouldn't get too excited about It and won't be buying stuff until my anatomy scan later in January. 

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  • Have you talked to your OB about this?
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  • @Ashcicle , but it should. Because it does matter. They're two different things.
    Nah per an earlier discussion she is not "crunchy" enough to care about such matters. Whatever that means, she never clarified. 
  • If you are wanting to find out sex as soon as possible... I would recommend the NIPT... it wasn't around when I was pregnant with my boys, but I am going to ask about it at my appt on Thursday.  I'm all for knowing more about our risks with this pregnancy (hopefully the lack of) and it would be a bonus for DH to find out the sex early... he is just so impatient while I'm sitting over here team green (except I don't get to be because of him).

    I'd like to do a short u/s with my boys to see the baby but the a/s will be too long and I don't think I'll have anymore between this week and then... obviously if my OB recommends against... I'll listen and save the ~ $120 but I do think it would be fun for my boys to see their sibling, if it works out.
  • yikes I didn't realize it was such a heated topic. We have been thinking a lot about a blood test and are considering having it done around 10 weeks. 
    my ob didn't seem to have an issue with it when I talked with her about it with my first baby. I was under the impression ultrasounds weren't dangerous for the baby.... 

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  • @Ashcicle There's no need for it to get heated, but the last time this came up people went to the effort to provide a thoughtful explanation and you nonchalantly chose to reject that, so it rubs the wrong way.  Maybe you have no idea how this comes off, but on any subject, if someone is trying to engage you in a discussion it doesn't reflect very positively when you're just like "sorry, don't care!"
  • I know this is an unpopular opinion but I'm thinking about an elective ultrasound with this pregnancy to find out the sex.  I did not do elective ultrasound with either of my first two kiddos but I did have extra ultrasounds for varies medical reasons.  After suffering a mc this summer I am a lot more anxious and stressed about this baby.  So although the Ultrasound might not really be medical it does help my peace of mind. I will be doing it at a hospital and not a boutique.  

    My daughter was breech and My doctor did ultrasounds at every appointment at the end to check her positioning. So I have a hard time feeling like one quick extra ultrasound is really that harmful compared to what I've been through before.  From my research I also haven't found any real hard facts but if someone has some please share! 

    I haven't booked this yet but I should be about 16ish weeks.  I think 14 would be a little too early to tell and I would lean towards doing a blood test instead. I'm also in the process of checking the costs of that test with my insurance and as might go that route. 

    So I get it you don't agree with doing an elective scan. I never did before.   And I am definitively into the science behind why. Right now I'm leaning towards thinking it's ok for me for my pgal brain. 
  • @JessyKV I completely understand PGAL brain being a complete mind F, but unless you are worried about certain disorders that could be linked to sex of the baby than there is no added relief on the medical front to know the sex.  Knowing male or female won't guarantee health of the baby.  
  • Elyse1384 said:
    @JessyKV I completely understand PGAL brain being a complete mind F, but unless you are worried about certain disorders that could be linked to sex of the baby than there is no added relief on the medical front to know the sex.  Knowing male or female won't guarantee health of the baby.  
    Yes totally get that and agree.  But there is something about seeing that little heartbeat on screen to help ease anxiety.  Being able to tell the sex at that time is an added bonus.  

    Going from 8 weeks to 20 weeks without seeing my babes heartbeat and watching him or her wiggle in an US feels like a really long time.  The Doppler doesn't ease my anxiety. Stress isn't good for me or the baby either.  

    And I feel like in my past 2 healthy pregnancies my doctors have done ultrasounds for a ton of reasons.  Say I had 10 ultrasounds with my first due to preterm labor and breech then 6 with my second due to early spotting and positioning for VBAC and this time if everything is good I've already had 2 plus early scans plus I will have my anatomy scan and my doctor will do one at the end to check weight/positioning since I'm VBAC That's 4 for sure.  I don't see the harm in doing 1 elective knowing my doctor would do one in a heartbeat if I brought up any concerns.  But I totally understand people that don't feel that risk is necessary for them.  To each their own.  


  • delujm0 said:
    The sex vs gender terminology doesn't matter to me sooo... 
    @Elyse1384 haha this is my fear. I definitely wouldn't get too excited about It and won't be buying stuff until my anatomy scan later in January. 


    Oh if it doesn't matter TO YOU, that's fine then, no worries, carry on. #entitlement

     

    I guess then, as a straight person, "it doesn't matter to you" when someone uses the derogatory F-word to describe a homosexual person either?  Because the sex vs gender thing is just as offensive for people whose gender identity is not the same as their physical sex.  I'd really hate to hear your stances on racial issues, especially the ones that don't matter to you because they don't directly involve you.

    This is EVERYTHING! when we know better we must do better. 
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  • @JessyKV

    From the FDA: the scans expose body tissues to heat and in some cases can produce very small bubbles, called cavitation, in tissues. Since the long-term effects of tissue heating and cavitation are not known, and since fetal keepsake videos provide no medical benefit to the fetus, the FDA advises steering clear.

    The ACOG: 
    in part because there may be biological risks to the mother or fetus that simply haven’t been identified yet. ACOG also warned that having an ultrasound in a nonmedical setting may falsely reassure pregnant women that their unborn baby is free of abnormalities, or, on the flip side, reveal a possible abnormality without a qualified health professional on hand to interpret and discuss the findings.

    The American Institute of Ultrasound in Medicine: 
    Ultrasound bioeffects may result from scanning for a prolonged period, inappropriate use of color or pulsed Doppler ultrasound without a medical indication, or excessive thermal or mechanical index settings. The AIUM encourages patients to make sure that practitioners using ultrasound have received specific training in fetal imaging to ensure the best possible results.

    The AIUM also believes that added cost arrangements other than those of providing patients images or copies of their medical records at cost may violate the principles of medical ethics of the American Medical Association

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  • @BelhurstBride thanks for compiling that information.  I had read the stuff from ACOG (which, if I'm being honest, I don't see the big deal in - if you're falsely reassured/upset by a non-medical person doing an ultrasound, then that's on you) and the stuff from the FDA (what really keeps me from doing a boutique ultrasound), but I hadn't seen the AIUM information.  It's nice to have the reasons out there rather than just "don't!"
  • Anatomy scan... Or I go beforehand (because I can't wait until 20 weeks!) for a sex scan at a local place.  Anywho... They were easily able to tell me about 14 weeks and 5 days I was having a girl with my first.  I will definitely make an appointment at 15-16 weeks for a sex scan!  I am so impatient!
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  • I totally understand the science but what I'm saying is what is the harm of one quick (so not prolonged as stated above) hospital scan (because I'm doing mine at a hospital not a boutique).  

    What if you are high risk or GD so your doctor does 12 ultrasounds during your pregnancy and I have a normal pregnancy and I only have 4 (one of those being elective).  How is mine any worse or unhealthy for my baby vs the person who had multiple.  Plus some doctors are more scan happy then others. There are different standard practices where a different number of ultrasounds is normal.  I don't see how me doing one elective scan in a hospital with a trained doctor this time around is any more dangerous then when my doctor did 10 scans with my first pregnancy due to breech position which really isn't necessary either.  

    And on the note of risk we are all comfortable with different levels of risk during pregnancy.  I drink caffeine but I don't eat lunch meat etc.  I also did a VBAC even though some doctors would say a 2nd csection is safer (although my own research said otherwise but that is a different debate).

    So As long as you aren't doing repeated scans with untrained technicians why is it really that much different? 

    And as stated above.  I didn't do any elective scans with my first two children.  Only the ones scheduled by my OB.  So I understand that side of things.  But now that I'm a loss mom
    as well my mind has changed.  
  • Pretty much all of those statements above are for boutique type settings and untrained technicians doing prolonged ultrasounds.  I'm definitely not doing that and would not recommend it.  
  • I don't plan on getting any elective scans because I'm going to do NIPT and even after a loss the scan only seems to ease my mind for about a day... but I did want to add that my OB mentioned the elective scans in his info of what to do and not do, and he said there's absolutely nothing wrong with getting them, he just thinks they are a waste of money.
    I agree with @JessyKV there are so many variations in practice and what my doctor says and does may be very different from the next person's. So IMO the only thing that matters is discussing these things with your provider and if you're both comfortable with it, then go for it.
  • MKRLTX said:
    I don't plan on getting any elective scans because I'm going to do NIPT and even after a loss the scan only seems to ease my mind for about a day... but I did want to add that my OB mentioned the elective scans in his info of what to do and not do, and he said there's absolutely nothing wrong with getting them, he just thinks they are a waste of money.
    I agree with @JessyKV there are so many variations in practice and what my doctor says and does may be very different from the next person's. So IMO the only thing that matters is discussing these things with your provider and if you're both comfortable with it, then go for it.
    Thank you! I am so not good with words and you phrased that really well.  

    Im still checking on the NIPT with my insurance as well.  

    My doctor is absolutely fine with an extra ultrasound if something is causing me stress and anxiety.  PGAL is hard and stress is not good for anyone.  
  • @JessyKV what I'm not understanding though is how not knowing the sex of the baby is causing you stress and anxiety?  It seems you're more eager to see the baby again?  I've experienced loss too, but that makes me all the more cautious about getting any unnecessary procedures and ultrasounds.  I wish I wasn't monitored so closely (IVF treatments offer no other option).  I love seeing my baby and hearing the heartbeat like everyone here, but why risk it if the ultrasound isn't necessary?  My OB does not like doing any ultrasounds that are not medically necessary.  He monitored me extra near the end with DD because of low lying placenta, but we otherwise would not have.  

    What I'm sensing from those wanting early scans to learn the sex is more an underlying theme of impatience.  Ladies.... I too am a planner.  I too am impatient in many areas of life.  I went Team Green with both kids because having been through 3 years of IF treatment just to get my take home baby taught me that a healthy child in and of itself is ALL that matters.  If I can make it 40 weeks without knowing (as most women before and after me have done by choice or lack of technology), I can guarantee that no harm will befall you physically or emotionally by waiting an extra 4-6 weeks to find out the baby's sex when you have your anatomy scan.   I just would urge you to exercise caution in medically unnecessary ultrasounds.  
  • JessyKV said:
    I know this is an unpopular opinion but I'm thinking about an elective ultrasound with this pregnancy to find out the sex.  I did not do elective ultrasound with either of my first two kiddos but I did have extra ultrasounds for varies medical reasons.  After suffering a mc this summer I am a lot more anxious and stressed about this baby.  So although the Ultrasound might not really be medical it does help my peace of mind. I will be doing it at a hospital and not a boutique.  

    My daughter was breech and My doctor did ultrasounds at every appointment at the end to check her positioning. So I have a hard time feeling like one quick extra ultrasound is really that harmful compared to what I've been through before.  From my research I also haven't found any real hard facts but if someone has some please share! 

    I haven't booked this yet but I should be about 16ish weeks.  I think 14 would be a little too early to tell and I would lean towards doing a blood test instead. I'm also in the process of checking the costs of that test with my insurance and as might go that route. 

    So I get it you don't agree with doing an elective scan. I never did before.   And I am definitively into the science behind why. Right now I'm leaning towards thinking it's ok for me for my pgal brain. 
    For me, my opinion all stands on what research the person has done. It sounds like you have done yours and feel you are doing what is best for you and what you feel comfortable with. 

    I agree people have different opinions on what can be/is harmful and different doctors tell you different things. I drank a glass or two of wine (total not a day or anything) in the last trimester of both my pregnancies. People might loose their minds over that. I've done for and against research and talked with my doc. I also eat lunch meat and drink coffee. I do not use any drugs even on the safe list. The list goes on.. 
  • @Elyse1384

    Finding out the sex isn't my only reason for wanting an elective US it's an added benefit if I do have one.  Everyone deals with PGAL differently.  

    Im really not impatient about it at all. I found at the sex at my anatomy scan with my first at 19 weeks and went team green with my second.  So I've done both and know I can wait.  I actually thought about being team green this time since I already have one girl and one boy.  

    I dont want to retype my statements before but I'm saying I feel comfortable with the risks of one hospital elective scan with a doctor in general just as some people are ok with the risk of caffeine or wine.  I don't see it as much different.  Some doctors do 1-2 scans a whole pregnancy and some do 10 plus for different "medical" reasons and I feel like if they are comfortable with that then I am comfortable with it too.  

    I think it's the elective part that bothers people.  If your doctor was monitor happy would you decline? If you felt off one day or a tad less movement you would ask for an ultrasound right? The risk would be worth it? I feel like it is and I feel like there is nothing wrong with an elective scan if it's at the right place with the right people.  But that's my opinion and if you don't want to take that risk I totally understand.  
  • @JessyKV I can relate to what you're saying actually. In my last pregnancy, which immediately followed my mc, I did have an extra scan at 15 weeks or so. Anatomy was at 20. It wasn't so much that I cared about the sex either way but going with the whole family to a comfy, less medical environment was a really wonderful bonding experience. I was impatient, that's true, but the impatience was that I wanted to feel like it was real, that I'd actually get to bring this baby into the world. I was so detached from the pregnancy at that point, feeling really down. When I knew I was expecting that baby girl it was like a fog lifted. It truly had nothing to do with planning or anything superficial like that, I had everything I needed and she doesn't have her own room. You don't need to convince others that it's the right thing to do. You need to look at the information available and decide if you're comfortable with it. I don't plan to do it again this pregnancy, but I don't regret doing it during my last one.
  • Thank you so much @thankfully.  I do feel like I have some sort of pregnancy depression that I'm going to bring up with my OB.  I'm having a harder time feeling connected or like this is real.  It's scary and hard.  I want so badly to tell my kids about their future sibling and I haven't yet.  I hope knowing the sex and seeing my babe will allow me to share this joy with my kiddos.  
  • @JessyKV, I don't see anything wrong with what you're doing.  Like you said, I think those were more in reference to places specifically to only tell you the sex earlier.

    I had at least 10 u/s with my second pregnancy to monitor IUGR/GD. I don't think in your case one additional is going to hurt.  
  • slssls member
    edited November 2016
    I can tell you that my personal experience was that I had 2 u/s's with my first, one at 20w and one at 30w. Both times, she was in a difficult position to be able to see. The techs each said that they couldn't see an indication that it was a boy, but that didn't mean it wasn't there. I was very eager to know, so I get it, but if you're wanting to decorate the nursery for sure... Well, it just might be inconclusive.

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  • @JessyKV I agree with above statements. Sounds like you've done your homework and research and have decided what's best for you. I don't see anything wrong with it EVEN if you were just impatient about the sex. It's no ones business. 

    I had (gasp!) about 25 ultrasounds with my last pregnancy because I had early bleeding and a severe placental abruption at 27 weeks landing me in the hospital until 37 weeks. They had zero impact on my dudes development. I understand and respect what the FDA and research suggests (I live and breathe a research based work life), but you're going 1x to a hospital. You're fine. 

    It's fine. Your decision is fine. Happy healthy pregnancy to you! 
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