April 2017 Moms

Terrible Parenting Advice

So the boards have been fairly slow lately, so I thought it might be fun to throw in a random thread once in a while in addition to our regular weekly threads. 

My question to you ladies is, what is the worst parenting advice you have been given or the best response to terrible advice? 

Feel free to chime in, even if your are a FTM, I can almost guarantee everyone of us has been given some pretty awful advice, even if it was given with good intentions (it usually is).

Re: Terrible Parenting Advice

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  • @Omie_Wise Hahahahaha! Thanks for the laugh! 
  • I heard so much nonsense.  The worst was "ya know, if you do not breastfeed, you are not a real mom".  My response was, well, let me tell you what makes you a real mom.  pushing a kid out of your vagina, you idiot" (yes, I know, caesarians are real mums too but I wanted to sound punchy.. that shut her up). 

    I also heard this "feed on demand" which many people tell me is nonsense.  In the first few weeks, yes, feed, sleep, nappy, but then you do need a routine and you should not be offering the baby your breast every time it opens his mouth... you would not do that with a toddler or a young kid, either!   

    Also, there is a lot of this "hipster" parenting around which I find complete nonsense.  Breastfeed your kid until he/she says no (and the breastfeed 5-6 old kids!).  Sleep with your kid for a year. errr.. no, maybe a few months sleep in the same room, but seriously... for years in the same bed?  

    @allybadry I kind of like the sleep when the baby sleeps idea... not sure if it will work, but I heard it a lot and will try.   see if it works..?  
    Me:  35 year old FTM, a busy city banker living in London, and a constant worrier. 
    My DH:  French guy, car fanatic, best husband ever.  
    Our baby boy:  Due on 17 April, currently 37 weeks.  I can't believe it - I made it to full term!!!! 
    Last measurement:  3150 gs at 37+1!  This is going to be a big baby :)
  • Not advice per se but my mil questioned almost everything that was different when she had kids 35+ years ago. I don't know how many times I've had to explain why it's not safe to have the baby in a car seat with a big bulky jacket. 

    She also never breastfed and neither did my SIL  (which is fine of course) but she didn't understand it and would question me constantly. "how long are you going to do THAT for"

    Hopefully she's less annoying this time around 


    DD Born 5.9.12

    MC March 2016@8.5w

    Expecting #2 4/30/17

    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker
  • One piece of advice I received early on (like the first week) was "not to let him use me as a pacifier". At that point, he wasn't even back up to his birth-weight, and he was still cluster-feeding.
  •  I worked at a daycare for years before I had children, but still mostly kept my mouth shut, because until you are a parent, you just don't know. 
    I also worked at a preschool before I had kids. I never said anything to a parents face, but I sure did have a lot of opinions on what they were doing wrong. Then I had DS and realized how much of a jerk I had been. You really don't know ANYTHING until you are responsible for another life. And even then you might not know it all, but that's your child and you have the right to raise it how you choose.

    Babysizer Geeky Pregnancy Tracker



  • Someone asked me if I would be keeping my dog outside when the baby comes home from the hospital. They said you want to make sure the baby does not get woken up in the middle of naps. Nope. My dog and I played during the day and were rowdy like always. My daughter had no trouble napping and slept through the night starting at 8weeks. 
  • DH's grandma keeps telling me that because I had a c-section with my first baby (traumatic and not by choice!) I need to just schedule a c-section for this baby before I go into labor. She tries to scare me into it. I am not even going to a hospital for this birth and I've gotten LOTS of "advice" about that from family
  • I heard so much nonsense.  The worst was "ya know, if you do not breastfeed, you are not a real mom".  My response was, well, let me tell you what makes you a real mom.  pushing a kid out of your vagina, you idiot" (yes, I know, caesarians are real mums too but I wanted to sound punchy.. that shut her up). 

    I also heard this "feed on demand" which many people tell me is nonsense.  In the first few weeks, yes, feed, sleep, nappy, but then you do need a routine and you should not be offering the baby your breast every time it opens his mouth... you would not do that with a toddler or a young kid, either!   

    Also, there is a lot of this "hipster" parenting around which I find complete nonsense.  Breastfeed your kid until he/she says no (and the breastfeed 5-6 old kids!).  Sleep with your kid for a year. errr.. no, maybe a few months sleep in the same room, but seriously... for years in the same bed?  

    @allybadry I kind of like the sleep when the baby sleeps idea... not sure if it will work, but I heard it a lot and will try.   see if it works..?  
    Bahaha I've done almost all of this with all my kiddos. We are breastfeeding as long as DD3 wants to, my older two transitioned out of our bed around 3 (DD3 is still in our bed), and we feed on demand, always.
    Daisypath - z1at
    Baby 1 - November 2009
    *loss* - March 2010
    Baby 2 - January 2011
    Baby 3 - June 2015
    Baby 4 - April 2017
    Baby 5 - May 2019



  • MWoodsideMWoodside member
    edited November 2016
    Cosleeping and bed sharing  isn't 'hipster parenting'. Most cultures do that and have forever. I think a lot of FTMs think they will put their baby in a separate room right away. But once baby is here that doesn't work for a lot of families if mom wants any sleep at all. Especially breastfeeding moms.

    DD1 born 5/24/10.

    Missed M/C at 14 wks Feb 2012.

    DD2 born 5/14/13.

    Missed M/C at 9 wks July 2015.

    Expecting someone new 4/17/17.
  • I'd rather have parenting advice from non-parents than parents (maybe an UO).  I don't like the whole "I did this with mine and they slept/ate/acted/farted perfectly!"  There's no magic trick, every kid and family is different. There were so many things we thought we'd never do that we did and vice versa. You just don't know until that little human is in your arms. 


    I also don't like when my parents' generation comment on how much gear and technology we have and that we're so lucky/parenting must be so much easier now.  I actually think all the options is quite difficult.  I have no interest in becoming a baby and kid gear expert, but you don't have much choice, especially when money is limited. I think I'd be quite happy if there was just a "cheap version" and an "expensive version" of everything and that was that. 




    Me: 31
    DH: 36
    Married 5 years
    DD born 8/30/13
    #2 expected 4/25/17
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