Ferber didn't work :( PU/PD or Chair ST now? — The Bump
December 2015 Moms

Ferber didn't work :( PU/PD or Chair ST now?

My LO is almost 10 months old and I'm still breastfeeding him. He's never been a great sleeper at night, always woke up at least once or twice. Over the last 2 months its gotten to the point where he's waking up a min of 4x from around 10:30pm-7am. He learned how to stand up in his crib and I tried Ferber method and watching him on the monitor has been heartbreaking (he stands and cries and refuses to sit back down). He's one of those babies that just gets so worked up and doesn't calm down over time, he just gets more and more upset. After last night of 2 hours of crying, I give up :( I know there are other methods and I just need something to work so I'm just looking for some advice if you've tried Ferber and it didn't work out...should I try the Chair or PUPD method next? I know Ferber is the hardest one and I prob should've tried a less harsh method first but I really thought it would've worked. Another thing is that I know there is a 8-10 month sleep regression so I don't know if I should just wait till month 11 to start over. I don't mind going to him in the middle of the night to nurse and put him back to sleep but I know at this point he should be sleeping longer stretched at night. I miss my sleep so much and just want to try something different. Another thing is that I nurse him to sleep at night and put him down in his crib as soon as he latches off but I know I prob need to change his routine around and put him down more awake. Never thought this would be so hard...I love my sleep and so naturally I thought he'd get the sleep gene from me, lol...wishful thinking I guess! all advice would be appreciated...thanks mommas!

Re: Ferber didn't work :( PU/PD or Chair ST now?

  • It's really a personal decision, but however you put babe to sleep at the beginning of the night, is what babe needs to go to back to sleep in the middle of the night. I have read the pick up put down method is usually for little babies as it's quite stimulating, and older babes don't really respond. I know Ferber doesn't work if you nurse to sleep, so whichever method you choose, I would get the book and go over it, and a have very specific plan customized to you and your baby. I know there is the No cry sleep solution? I cannot imagine there would be no crying but my guess is maybe less crying. 
  • candace4erichcandace4erich member
    edited October 2016
    I'm no super expert, as a modified CIO worked for us, but I have three opinions. One, like the PP mentioned, Ferber does not work if you nurse to sleep. You must put baby down awake and start the extinction process with the first going to sleep. Otherwise, all subsequent wake-ups will require the same intervention as the first. I also recommend keeping those first intervals very short - we started at intervals of 3 minutes and I never let them go past an interval of 10 minutes before picking them up and physically soothing. (One of our twins would get herself very worked up like your little guy.)

    From my previous research, I'd vote for trying the chair method next, if you are totally done with CIO. The learning concept of the chair method is very similar to CIO, but with a lot more physical support. That would've been my next choice had we failed. I believe this method also cautions against nursing to sleep.

    Finally, I wouldn't recommend waiting. This might be a regression, but it might not be. Sleep training during regressions is not harmful (just a bit more frustrating for parents), and it can help set better habits and patterns. Oh - and whichever method you do try next, stick with it for at least a month. Habits take time to form and skills take time to learn.
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  • failuretoflyfailuretofly member
    edited October 2016
    *lurking from Jan16*
    We just started using PU/PD and the rest of the techniques from The Baby Whisperer and I really like it. we've had some success but I know that's only because I haven't been as consistent with it as I should. I've modified it so I don't actually picked lo up as pp mentioned it was too stimulating, so instead I lean into his crib and cuddle him where he lays. it's quite uncomfortable for me, however i only had to do it for an extended period the first night, now it might only be 2-5 minutes max, if at all. 
    I agree with PP, your first step is going to have to be stopping nursing to sleep, as that is just going to confuse LO, and definitely stick out whatever method you choose for at least 2-3 weeks to give lo a chance to adapt. 
    Good luck!

    -edited because autocorrect is stupid 
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