June 2015 Moms
teamblakeley
member
Thinking about baby #2
teamblakeley
member
Hi ladies,
My husband and I have a 16 month old, and would like to start thinking about trying for baby #2 in the next few months. I adore my son more than life itself, and I love every minute I get to be with him, but caring for a toddler is extremely and overwhelmingly exhausting...so I would like to begin to prepare myself mentally for the prospect of having TWO young children at home. For the mamas that have two (or more) very young children, how do you do it??? (I'm being totally serious; I would love your tips on how you get through the day.) How do you manage to work up the energy to keep your house intact, cook, clean and do what needs to get done for your entire family, while still having energy to care for yourself without collapsing from exhaustion? Thanks in advance.
My husband and I have a 16 month old, and would like to start thinking about trying for baby #2 in the next few months. I adore my son more than life itself, and I love every minute I get to be with him, but caring for a toddler is extremely and overwhelmingly exhausting...so I would like to begin to prepare myself mentally for the prospect of having TWO young children at home. For the mamas that have two (or more) very young children, how do you do it??? (I'm being totally serious; I would love your tips on how you get through the day.) How do you manage to work up the energy to keep your house intact, cook, clean and do what needs to get done for your entire family, while still having energy to care for yourself without collapsing from exhaustion? Thanks in advance.
Re: Thinking about baby #2
BFP #1 12/23/13 MMC 01/24/14 @ 9w5days
My twins are great, but I can't fathom having toddlers and a newborn. Sure I survived twins, but they're on the same milestone chart and you can keep an eye on both whereas with a newborn and a toddler, if you're tending to the newborn I feel like you can't keep track of the toddler as well. I would love some insight on this!
Me: 31 DH: 34
Married 11/09/2013
LO#1: LMP 09/14/2014 BFP 10/15/2014 EDD 06/24/2015 DS Born 06/14/2015
LO#2: LMP 09/18/2016 BFP 10/19/2016 EDD 06/27/2017 DD Born 06/27/2017
LO#3: LMP 05/16/2018 BFP 06/18/2018 EDD 02/20/2019
The best part about having a toddler, if you wait until they're about 2, is having another helping hand. He loved to hold his sisters when they were little, he'd help daddy feed them bottles, he'd sing to them. If I was nursing and needed something, he'd go grab it for me. Now that they're all older, they love playing together, he reads them stories, he loves entertaining them, he's a huge help. You just have to try to incorporate the toddler as much as you can so they don't feel replaced.
How to keep your sanity: simple, some days you don't. There are days I just need time to myself. All 3 kids will drive me crazy. Other days, I'm just amazed at how well they are together.
I work 31 hours a week, and work opposite shifts than dh so we don't have to pay daycare for 3. During the day I have to get the kids up and dressed, fed, make lunch for dh, make myself something to eat before I head to work for the evening, and then work. I try to stay on top of housework, but there are days I just leave it for dh to do. It's almost impossible to nap. When the twins are sleeping, ds is awake. We try to do quiet mommy and son activities then. We paint, color, play games, watch tv, and sometimes even if I'm super lucky, cuddle up together and take a little nap. It helps if you get into a routine. I tried to feed them and get them down for naps about the same time every day. We just planned running errands and housework around that. It's hard when they're newborns and sleep and eat a lot. We'd have to do a lot when we were home together. As they get older, it gets easier.
Hope that helps a little bit. If you have any specific questions, feel free to ask.
-when pregnant and exhausted, take a nap while the toddler naps. It's the only thing that helped me get through the day.
-have help at first. My mom came and stayed with me three days a week (during the week and DH was home on weekends to help), for a month. The help was priceless and I still had my alone time so I never felt smothered
-prep meals for the freezer for when you get home.
-you're going to be sleep deprived and exhausted, coffee will be your friend.
-try to get the kids on the same nap schedule if at all possible so you can have some time to yourself in the afternoon. You'll need it.
-the first three months are the hardest and it gets easier as they get older. Mine are 3 years apart. It's a good spread. 2 1/2 would be good too, because the toddlers are more verbal and it helps maintain sanity if you know what the hell they want.
-I put DS in preschool at 3 yrs and three months old for three days a week. That break was great for both of us. He got more attention and learned how to be away from me and is now in school five days a week because we started our own business so now I'm working at home with LO too.
Honestly you'll find your groove, just like you did with LO. Best wishes!!